Kapitel 109: [Chapter 109] The Reason the Greenhouse Was Abandoned
Creak.
As Neris opened the long-unlubricated glass door, she heard a sound like something small and light scattering quickly.
Trying not to think about what the sound might be coming from, Neris walked towards the center of the greenhouse.
"Hmm...."
A murmuring sound seemed to come from under the tree in the center of the greenhouse.
It was a dark night, with dark tree shadows. The surroundings were barely visible, but Neris cautiously felt around and picked up the child.
Something fell from the hand of the child lying on the chair. It sounded like a toy.
The warm and soft body of the child initially stretched out but soon clung to the adult who held her. Neris couldn't help but smile.
"You little troublemaker."
"Fearlessly sleeping in a place like this."
A voice of disbelief seemed to respond. Startled, Neris turned around with a jolt.
Dressed casually as if he had been working for a long time, Cledwyn was standing there.
Neris's eyes widened.
"How did you know about this place?"
"It's my mother's greenhouse, so of course I know."
"No, what I mean is, how did you know Gebertha was here? Are you here to look for her too?"
"I knew she would come here. Since there's no record of her leaving the castle today, she must be in the castle, so we should start looking from her usual spots."
With thousands of people entering and leaving the castle every day, Cledwyn seemed to have a grasp on all of them. Neris admired his ability once again and inferred something he didn't say.
It was indeed a good decision for Neris to come here herself without sending someone. If Cledwyn thought it didn't matter if someone came to the former Grand Duchess's greenhouse, he wouldn't have come all the way here to find Gebertha. A word to Hilbrin would have been enough.
As Neris approached the greenhouse entrance with Gebertha, Cledwyn gestured outside. With a rustling noise and the bushes shaking nearby, a person descended.
"Please."
It was Talfryn. Neris handed Gebertha to him.
Neris's actions were awkward as she had never held a child before. However, Talfryn skillfully took the child and quickly disappeared.
A brief silence lingered in the greenhouse with only the two of them left. Neris looked at Cledwyn and awkwardly said, "I'm sorry. I've been here with Gebertha before."
"What's there to apologize for? This is the Eastern Palace garden, so it's also yours since you live in the Eastern Palace."
"I told you not to fix it before. So, I thought you didn't like anyone coming in. If it was a place owned by the former Grand Duchess, wouldn't it hold precious memories?"
His secret place from childhood. Neris was now speculating about that.
"It's not really like that. Just..."
Cledwyn gave a wry smile."
"It was... a useless attachment. I was planning to tidy it up again around next spring anyway."
Attachment.
The brief hesitation and the unnecessarily long words revealed to him the importance of this greenhouse.
Neris took a step closer to Cledwyn. Somehow it seemed like the right thing to do.
"...What do you mean by a useless attachment?"
The lord of this vast land. Strong, kind, and exceptional.
He had a fate that he couldn't share with anyone, a burden and suffering he had to bear alone, not fully understood by anyone.
Could she share that pain?
Neris was negative. She was already overwhelmed with her own affairs. She had been so broken that she could no longer sincerely care about other people's happiness.
But maybe... she could ask once.
She could do that much.
Seeing his wry smile, her stomach churned, as if something was about to come out of her throat.
"You..."
Rustle.
Something small and light passed quickly by Neris's foot. The momentary tremor through the hem of her skirt hinted that it was slightly larger than a fist and a crawling creature.
She knew that kind of creature well.
A mouse.
Her spine tingled, and her whole body stiffened. Holding her breath, she lowered her head. If she didn't, she felt like she might scream and jump onto the chair right away.
"Why are you like that?"
Cledwyn was surprised and approached her briskly. He then held her shoulders and touched her face.
"...Pale? Why? Are you feeling unwell?"
"Oh, no. It's nothing."
Even in the darkness, it was a moonlit night. The fact that Cledwyn's face, now closer, was so beautiful could be discerned well enough.
Somehow her heart was fluttering. It had been happening a lot lately.
Neris's face turned red. She tried to step back from Cledwyn, but he didn't let go of her.
"Tell me. Where does it hurt? Should I call a doctor?"
"Oh, no, it's not necessary."
Her face was as hot as it could get. But Cledwyn seemed unwilling to let go before hearing her answer.
In the end, Neris resigned herself. She muttered abruptly.
"A mouse. A mouse passed by. That's why."
"Ah."
Cledwyn released her shoulders. His face, which had been close, now moved a bit further away. At least it was a distance where she could feel a sense of calm.
He let out a sigh-like laugh.
"It's scary."
The response was much quicker and firmer than he had anticipated.
And it held much more meaning than what was outwardly expressed.
Neris lowered her eyes.
Neris disliked mice. In her previous life, she had come to dislike them because of Megara, but there were other reasons she disliked mice.
She disliked the darkness. In her previous life, she always felt trapped in a relentless and endless darkness.
How long had she spent alone in excruciating pain, feeling like she would be crushed to death? Living in a closed room where no one came, foolishly hoping for someone to come and repeatedly facing disappointment.
In such darkness, there were usually mice. In the cold and small room of the Elendria family, in the dirty stable floor where she was abused as a princess, in the prison cell of the tower where she was tortured to the brink of death.
Now she could command to set traps whenever she saw a mouse around. But it still kept coming to her mind.
Her own helplessness, where she could do nothing.
Cledwyn couldn't understand Neris's words.
People in farming villages tended to dislike mice, and Neris's hometown of Rohez was a rural area. However, at the same time, people in farming villages were familiar with mice, and if one passed by them, they wouldn't react with such a fright just because a mouse brushed past them.
'I don't know what his expression is like right now.'
An anxious expression that could be discerned even in the moonlight, an uneasy expression as if she might vomit... It wasn't normal. No matter how good it looked to her.
She was recalling something from the past.
But what exactly from the past made her so terrified?
It had been several years since she had first opened up in the pharmacy library.
Yet he felt like he knew her no better than he did back then.
He couldn't bear that fact.
"Neris."
Calling her name, Cledwyn looked directly into Neris's eyes. Neris blinked in confusion. Some of the fear faded from her expression, replaced by a sense of doubt as to what he was thinking.
That was better. Even if what she had was suspicion, it was better for him to occupy her mind.
Cledwyn smiled confidently. To reassure her.
"Should I carry you?"
"What?"
Neris was so taken aback that she forgot all her previous thoughts. She stared wide-eyed at Cledwyn. What?
Why was that so amusing to Cledwyn, he let out a laugh.
"We need to get out of here."
"Right."
"There probably aren't any mice in that bush, right?"
Of course, there would be. She had tried not to think about it, whether when she first came or now when she was actually looking inside the bush.
Cledwyn wasted no time. While Neris was frozen in thought, he reached out and lifted Neris's small body in his arms.
"Oh my!"
Her view rose. Neris almost bit her tongue.
Her body stiffened. But before she could decide whether to protest or stay silent, Cledwyn began to walk.
It felt like being on a stone-made bed. It was incredibly solid and stable, making it feel unlike a person. His sleek arms and chest looked tough and warm when they touched directly.
Swoosh. The wind blew. As the two exited the greenhouse, the surroundings brightened. There were so many stars in the sky, making it feel like the first time a person had ever experienced such a sight.
Neris looked up at Cledwyn's face with a breathless feeling. A gust of wind brushed past her ankles.
His gray eyes captivated her gaze without reservation.
Neris managed to speak.
"W-what are you doing?"
"I'm moving you so my advisor doesn't encounter what she dislikes."
Her chest pounded wildly with confusion. The pounding in her ears made her feel like her head was filled with her heartbeat.
No, maybe it wasn't just in her head. The whole world seemed to be pounding. Under the sky, it felt like this old garden was the only place, and the two of them were the only people there.
Neris covered her face with both hands. It was as if doing so would make this absurd situation clearer.
As they crossed halfway through the garden, Cledwyn spoke lightly like the wind.
"A useless attachment doesn't mean anything significant."
"So, what did it mean?"
"My mother died in this greenhouse."
Neris's pounding heart quieted down in an instant. She lowered her hands that had covered her face.
Cledwyn looked down and raised the corners of his mouth. It was a usual expression, but she felt he was 'too' indifferent in some way.
Like someone who didn't know how to express their emotions. An all-too-familiar attitude of someone who had become too accustomed to suppressing emotions rather than accepting them.
"After she collapsed, she was moved to the bedroom and a doctor was called, but she actually died in the greenhouse when she collapsed. I said that, but it seemed like no one heard me. I don't remember it well because I was so young."
If he was certain that she died when she collapsed in the greenhouse... it meant he had witnessed the former Grand Duchess collapsing and dying.
"You..."
"You don't need to sympathize. It's too long ago to be sad about. I don't have any particular emotions now. I liked my mother, but the time we spent together was too short for it to weigh heavily on me."
Ambiguous images formed in Neris's mind. Unlike now, a well-maintained, bright and warm greenhouse. The image of a woman who looked strong in a portrait suddenly in distress in the middle of a chair. And a young Cledwyn who was surprised playing next to her.
The picture was ambiguous, but the shock the young him felt was so vivid. Just like Neris herself lost her mother without warning in her childhood.
"After my mother passed away, no one could enter the greenhouse. No one went in, no one took care of it. The entire Eastern Palace was the same. The former Grand Duchess was so broken that she couldn't take care of anything. She couldn't accept that her mother had left."
That's why the Eastern Palace was empty.
"So... the former Grand Duchess's bedroom was locked.
It wasn't because the former Grand Duchess rejected her traces as an outsider.
It was because the former Grand Duke missed his departed wife too much.
His time stood still after she passed away.
But... then what about Cledwyn? Was he still a young child who needed his mother?
Neris didn't miss the fact that he hadn't fully expressed his own feelings yet.
Because Cledwyn whispered, Neris also whispered back, quietly.
"So, did you also have lingering feelings there because your heart ached?"
"No."
He smiled like starlight.
"It was just a habit."
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
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Rangliste 
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Stein