Kapitel 81: Unknown Visions
Yeon felt like a hole had been opened in his forehead and a funnel had been rammed inside.
The tip of the funnel was forced deeper and deeper into his squishy brain tissue as an excruciating pain assaulted his conscious.
Countless foreign images, voices, and emotions flashed by, the torrent of information rushing through the narrow funnel to overflow his brain.
Just like a flood, it moved with unstoppable force and completely overwhelmed him.
***
"Mmm," she let out a soft hum to let me know that she was listening.
I hug her small body so that I could find peace in her familiar scent.
Maybe she wanted to see my face, but she lifted it up.
Her scarred face showed a tender smile, and her small delicate hands that held my face made me feel secure.
My voice quivered and my hiccups continued.
So, between my childish, and vulnerable hiccups, I laid out my heart for her.
"Not because they're nice things to do.
Not because it's polite.
But because… I care."
Her face becomes blurry as my tears resurface, but at this point, we were both shedding tears.
"I want to do it, not out of habit, but for you."
I smile at her, my purest, my most sincere expression of joy.
"And I think to myself.
Ah, this is love.
I'm in love.
I love you.
And I can love."
***
"Blood" she mumbles as she feels her fingers get doused in a warm liquid.
"I-I'm hurting you. I'm s-so, so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I really am, I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
Her voice is quiet and weak, different from her usual caring and gentle one.
"It's ok, I don't mind it," I reassure her.
I rub her back over her black hair as I pull her tighter into my embrace.
Her voluptuous body pushes against my chest in a sinfully soft and enticing way.
But my back…
Her fingers run along the lines where her nails have dug into them, leaving a trench of cut flesh.
It hurts but I let her.
If this small amount of pain lets her feel loved, then it was a small price to pay on my part.
"B-but…. I love it."
Her voice trembled in shame, hesitation, and joy, as she confessed her true feelings.
"I love hurting you.
I hate myself for hurting you.
You, the only one who listens, who looks, who acknowledges…"
She peeks at my face through her tears, her droopy violet eyes that were usually half-closed in a mellow smile were shaking.
***
I frantically looked around, desperately scanning everything.
This was a street I had already looked over, but I checked again.
I knew that she was here somewhere in this city.
I used my divine sense to scan everywhere:
The people on the streets.
Into strangers' homes.
Even underground.
I knew that my divine sense could upset some powerful people if they happen to be present, but I took the risk anyway.
I shouted for her, ignoring the stares I get from everyone around me.
"Where are you…"
The unkempt dirt path was lined with human waste and broken glass, its rancid smell disorienting my already anxious mind.
The buildings were too decrepit to be described as houses. The wooden walls were rotting away, drunkards having vandalized them with a mixture of their trash and urine.
A mixture of herby scents could be made out from the cesspool of disgusting smells as homeless men gathered to enjoy their artificial pleasures.
As much as I desperately wanted to find her, I desperately wished for her not to be found here.
My path was blocked as an emaciated woman with dirty brown hair tumbles down the stairs she was leaning against.
"Hehehehe"
Maybe her sense of pain has been completely dulled but she giggles to herself with her face lodged in a splotch of mud.
I consider stepping over her and continuing my search, but I notice the sleazy stares nearby.
They eye her like a pack of starving dogs to a pile of meat, their doped mouths drooling with lust.
"Damn pigs…"
I go to pick her up, but she curls up to hide the pipe in her hand, giggling to herself all the while.
"I'm not trying to steal from you, woman…"
I pick her up by the collar to slap some sense into her but my body shivers as I look at her eyes.
I can feel the goosebumps on my skin and my clothes suddenly feel uncomfortable and restrictive.
I frantically wipe at her hair, hoping to be wrong, praying to be wrong.
The dust, mud and waste wipe off as I clean a portion of her hair.
Thin unhealthy strands of weathered gold.
A pair of hazy, unfocused red eyes.
"N-No, it can't be…" I gasp in denial.
"I-Is that you? El-
***
"And what? That justifies what you did?"
Her voice cracks, overwhelmed with anger and sadness.
It hurt even more since I could vividly remember the way her eyes lit up when she first saw me.
"It doesn't. I understand that but please-"
"Please what, Beatrice?" she quips back fiercely, her sky-blue eyes quivering as she glares at me.
The pure intensity of her emotions sends a shiver down my spine.
I had done to her what my mother had done to me.
"You coward! Do you think that I'll just forgive you? After what you did?"
Her voice trembles as her immeasurable grief swallow up any anger she had remaining.
"I-I can't get the image out of my head… Do you know how I lived after that?"
She grips my hand painfully tight as she peers into my eyes, it feels like she's reading into my very soul.
Long black hair that I used to comb my fingers through.
Light brown skin tone that I used to teasingly describe as my favourite flavour of caramel or milk chocolate.
The same graceful and confident face that I grew up with was now covered in wretched tears.
She hadn't aged the slightest since when I had last seen her.
But in reality, she had lived an entire life after mine.
Her hands shudder as she speaks, "Y-y-you were just hanging there! W-what was I even supposed to do, Beatrice!?"
***
I felt my heart ache at her hollow expression.
From her face, it was impossible to tell whether she had succeeded in her lifelong dream or had failed at the last step.
"And what now?"
She was always at the forefront, leading with unparalleled charisma as her red hair billowed behind her like a royal cape.
But after racing ahead for all these years, she had lost her way.
I could think of many things to tell her and what she could do, but that wouldn't help her.
It would occupy her, but it wouldn't help.
"What do you mean?" I ask her, refusing her a guiding path.
I knew what she wanted from me, but it wasn't what she needed.
"Well… What comes after this?" she says wistfully while looking around.
There was no one around as everyone had retreated to give us some space.
Not even dust was left as her grey-black flames had greedily consumed anything and everything.
"Nothing comes after," I reply.
"Then… What do we do?"
"We rest," I say smiling at her.
"Rest…" she mumbles to herself.
A complicated expression comes over her face as she bites her lip.
Rather than feeling empty, perhaps she was feeling overwhelmed.
"It's ok to cry," I tell her as I grab her hand.
"Cry? Why would I cry? Have you forgotten who I am? I am the Sect Mast—Mmmm…"
I silence her with a short kiss.
I shroud the area around us with my 'black' energy so that no one could detect our presence and find us.
"Happiness is as natural to sadness, as laughter is to tears. It's just the two of us, you don't need to be the Sect Master right now."
"…"
"I promise I won't tell a soul."
***
She was splayed out like a starfish on the floor.
Her long white hair was dyed in her blood as she waited to die.
No, that wasn't quite right, she wasn't waiting to die, she was waiting to be killed.
"Well, what are you waiting for?" she asks tauntingly.
Her voice was weak with exhaustion, but you could still make out the spite and viciousness.
"Mia, please… We don't have to do this," I beg her, but she ignores me.
She scans my body up and down.
"Damn monster, your injuries have already healed. Why does your blood turn into petals and rejoin your body? What are you, some fucking tree?"
Her words were harsh and rude, a stark contrast to her old bubbly innocence.
"Mia…" I call out to her.
We exchange words but she refuses to listen to what I say.
"Mia~, Mia~. SHUT UP!" She howls as blood seeps out of her body.
"How dare you look at me like that," she scowls.
"Like you're hurt.
Like you're in pain.
Like you're the victim."
She tries to spit on my face, but her saliva weighed down by blood does not travel far enough.
"Please, we don't have to fight."
I want to refute her, but she's entirely correct.
There was a reason behind it, but it's also true that it was my fault.
"We don't need to fight?
Ohhhhh, you must hate violence, eh?
No wonder you weren't there…"
She crawls up from the floor, forcing her dying body to move.
She uses her weapon as a crutch as she walks up to me, prodding my chest with her finger.
Her words hurt me more than any physical wound as I bleed remorse from my soul.
"When she was fighting your fight.
Caring in your stead.
Emily's dead, Yeon.
Dead!
She died, DIED ALL BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT!"
***
"I did it… I DID IT!" she cackled to herself.
"It was worth invading them to take back your corpses…"
She had a twisted smile on her face but that didn't dimmish her ethereal beauty.
Her skin was sickly white, the opposite of her hair and smooth oval pendant which were both pitch black.
"I sacrificed most of my soul drops for this, but it'll be worth it. It'll be worth it. We all die eventually, it'll be worth it," she mumbled to herself
She circled around me and the six others beside me.
"The Lotus of Lust, The Lotus of Pride, The Lotus of Wrath, The Lotus of Avarice, The Lotus of Gluttony, and The Lotus of Sloth."
As she named each one of them by their monikers, they knelt like loyal knights.
She walks up to me and caresses my face.
Her hand feels warm against my cold skin.
"I wonder if you're still somewhere in there… The Black and White Lotus."
Her left eye was a foggy grey, but her right eye was a vivid and bright red.
It shined ominously as I knelt down before her.
I feel her tussling my hair.
"The Lotus Manor has been invaded and most of your subordinates have been killed."
She moved away and sighed, looking over the sea of corpses that she had just sacrificed for her necromancy.
She whipped back around to face her resurrected soldiers, "Oh, I nearly forgot. Your daughter is refusing to manifest after you died."
She scanned our expressionless faces and nodded approvingly to herself.
"But this is more than enough. Two of seven are Primordials…. I've become the most powerful individual that the Continent has ever seen, HAHAHAHAHA!"
Her manic laugher abruptly stopped, and she clapped her hands.
We all rise up in sync to face her.
"Now shoo. Your orders are to kill everyone on sight. If you're losing the game, then you flip the board! Now no one's a winner, HAHAHAHAHA!"
The other 6 leave but I remain.
I watch as her legs suddenly wobble before they give out.
She falls to the floor and wheezes as she struggles to breathe.
But between her breaths, she giggles to herself.
Her laughter switches between sobs and moans as she cycles through various emotions.
She curls up into a ball as she lays on the cold floor.
She's crying now.
"What am I even doing…" she whispers to herself.
AUTORENGEDANKEN 
loti_apathae
loti_apathae x before writing chapter: Visions! What a great idea!
x while rewriting chapter for 4th time: What a horribly stupid idea.
It seems that the god of this world, x, underestimated how taxing visions would be.
I was just lying around while waiting for this storm to pass over.
Seems like a lot of stuff happened...
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein