Kapitel 61: Author's Afterword
Dear readers,
Thank you for reading "The Forest Guardians".
I started this story in 2015; from then, I revised it about 3 times before it came to this. Even then, as you realise, the quality of this story deteriorated over the years and even in the last few chapters. I would say that the significant change came from 2016 – 2017, which caused the vibes of this whole story to become a bit dark and sorrowful.
I wanted to write this as a fantasy story encompassing much of my love for writing. Who knew I was hurt so much that I needed to use this story to process my pain? I'm sorry that it wasn't a story about childhood innocence and a love for nature and stories (and their world beyond); instead, it was… a story about warped love, death, regrets and moving on.
Most of my self-esteem took a huge blow back then, making me unable to make sense of my feminine identity and connect with myself physically. I had to rework everything I believed into how I am now. I'm still not quite there but in a better spot now.
Right now, I found... a good partner, a good friend.
It's nothing like I ever felt with them, and I'm going through this whole thing in baby steps. Experiencing things with someone is something that I have never properly done before, and it's only because, in previous relationships, none of us was emotionally mature enough to deal with our feelings. That's the issue with romance stories and adults. Romance stories tell you the fantastical idea of dating and all the false notions about it that we learn bad habits. Meanwhile, adults tell you to avoid romance and dating and say you will understand someday. It's bullshit. You cannot tell the heart to stop crushing or falling for someone. Instead, please tell us what we should do if something ever happens because try as we might, we can't control our hormones from falling for someone. Teach us the importance of proper communication in a safe space. Teach us the importance of consent and body autonomy. Teach us that a healthy relationship is built on a partnership, with trust and care.
That took nearly 8 years of struggling to get to where I am now. 8 years of unnecessary pain and doubts. And I will likely struggle some more before I get to where I want to be. At least now, I have more strength and confidence to move on.
Anyway, I know how this story didn't end in a very happy way.
The ending for TFG and Omen was what I envisioned for a long time. I wanted revenge on the person, as petty as that sounded. I wanted him to hurt with no chance to redeem himself except to be a better person. Now that I have written it this way, I'm satisfied. It's mean, but I don't apologise because this is what I needed to move on. If I meet the inspiration for this character, I can shake hands and forget about them.
Meanwhile, Omen was always meant to die because she was too unique and destined to be a character staple in every story. A Guardian that guards the story she lived in. All those dreams where you wished you were y/n in some fanfiction, Omen is the one. Omen is living a fan's dream of being in a fictional world.
I'm happy that this story ended.
I won't miss it for the moment, but I may revisit it and give it the path it should have—the story with child-like wonder for stories.
Until then, I shall focus on newer stories.
Till next time,
Winter
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