/ Anime & Comics / The Devil Inside(mha)[dropped]
Zusammenfassung
Follow the Mc on his journey to find himself in a world with super powers(quirks), Will he become a hero or villain.
*this is for fun, I’m super bored during this quarantine.
* don’t own MHA
****MY IMAGE IS FROM DANGAN RONPA I DO NOT OWN IT. IF YOU WANT ME TO TAKE IT DOWN AND CHANGE IT COMMENT.
*the anime for the photo is
https://***.crunchyroll.com/danganronpa-the-animation
If you enjoy the story, review it and drop some stones.
Don’t write hateful comments or reviews. I do accept critical feed back and comments that can help make this story better.
If you don’t like it give reasons why and how I can improve.
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DrMcTitties Beigetragen 5 -
![Yamiya]()
Yamiya Beigetragen 5 -
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Bluntborne Beigetragen 5
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49Rezensionen
4.05
- Qualität des Schreibens
- Veröffentlichungsstabilität
- Geschichtenentwicklung
- Charakter-Design
- Welthintergrund
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The character moves with out logical reasoning as he should have, he was trained to ba an assassin but does not act like it and with the emotion of the parents they had shown is quite stupid. This is my opinion on the story
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Holy fucking shit this is stupid. He is ostracized because he can manipulate darkness and has reptilian eyes? Bullshit. Tokoyami has a sentient being of darkness and still gets into U.A. Kuroiro is literally made of darkness and he got into U.A. Writing sucks too. Characters are non-relatable and not realistic. Yeah. Overall, 1/10.
So far it’s interesting and it make me want to see what happens next. It’s a pretty good read imo, though it may not suits everyone’s taste. If you’re looking for a Mac with a tragic background who lost his old self and became cold and badass this can be for you, the grammar isn’t bad, and the character designs are pretty cool. I suggest at least giving it a try
I like it a lot. It’s very interesting and I can’t wait for more chapters. It has good grammar and I like the story of the main character. He isn’t a pushover and is badass. This is the only fanfic I’ve read so far that has an assassin backstory. I really suggest you read it. It’s pretty good imo
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Shameless author here. I’m trying to write a different story than my other one and I hope you guys will like this and let me know how I could improve.
Riddled with plotholes. Like every major event has at least several of them... Characters change their personality and opinion as often as their underwear. Grammar has a lot of mistakes and you often need to decipher the sentences. The whole thing with Assassin training etc is bad executed. Like the author has no idea what a Assassin is or is supposed to do and how this work will develop with Damiens personality. Btw Damien was when he was 4 years old for 2 years in a completely white room and got experimented on every day. Torturous experiments if I may add. But his personality was like a person who got isolated formulier whole life. No split-personality, he is not insane and doesn‘t even keep his habit of talking with his shadow clones. When he is allowed a request, he asks to kill his father when that guy only mistreated him for a day while the Organisation with the white room literally tortured him for 2 years. Still loves his brother years later, when that guy literally abonded him for friends he only knew for less than a year If I remember right. Alice, his childhood sweetheart forgot him after 6 years I think and never blames his brother Stefan. And wtf his parents treated him like family even after knowing his quirk, but directly after knowing what he did, they treated him like something that should’ve exist and have no emotional turmoil or other things. Also please explain How 4 - 6 years old people can blush and think someone that is 4 years old is so hot and sexy. He should look like a baby with a lot of baby fat on his body. And Damien when he was 4 or 5 I think introduced himself and „devilishly“ smirked at the girls... Explanation is that he watched a lot of romance movies and some other. After General Armstrong’s death (or what his name is) ,who was their father figure, they just forget about him seconds later. This is just a wishfullfilment story with no thoughts put in of what to write. Like „Oh, an Assassin mc in MHA sounds interesting. Let‘s write about it with no planning whatsoever!!!“ At least try please. I liked the Idea but the execution is so flawed and horrible that you can‘t make heads or tails of it. Well, these are my thoughts and I know that there are bound to be grammar mistakes and spelling errors or whatever because just as the author, English is not my native language. Greetings from Germany!
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I like the concept of the two twins and their opposing powers, the world background of all that regards heroes is pretty confusing and clunky, but the 3 man team is wonderful, finally some fic where the MC is with the bros instead of the classical naruto style team with the protag, the powerful but actually weak as **** girl that seems the heroine but she isn't and the sidekick/rival. The story development is pretty linear and predictable but still nice.
It's a goodie.....................................................................................................................that's all
Its absolute garbage the whole thing feels rushed the characters have no personality and twins don't just separate like that because some kinds say bad stuff about the other and also what the actual **** why are like 5-year-old kids blushing like why the **** would a kid in like grade 1 think oooohh my gaaawwd hhheees soooo hawwt like holy **** you make the kids sound and act like fucking teenagers like Jesus fucking Christ have you ever seen a kid or even talked to one before and don't even get me started on the parents they have no personality at all other than the fact that they hate one kid and love the other also there is absolutely no world building at all its literally just ooooh no you control the darkness no me the smart and responsible parent that I am hate you and I'm going to send you off to some little ripoff concentration camp also the MC friends don't make any sense at all like some little fucking Endevor hell spawn would not be going to the garbage school that the main character goes to the Endevor family is like super fucking rich you **** dumb ass just because Endevor is a little shit doesn't mean his family is fucking poor like Jesus Christ there literally a family of pro hero's that pay for wives and stuff to have stronger kids holy shit I'm dropping this but I wish you luck on your future endeavours and I hope you improve however if you're looking for some little emo shit kid book this is the book for you any way end of rant good day to you.
Epic Background story and plot I hope you can start uploading chapters again. .. .. ... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .
Honestly speaking, i was about to drop the book in the first few chapters. You’re ideas were good but the execution was too forced. But you’re writing has improved ten-fold since then and I can say that this fic from when Damien came to Japan onwards is one of the better MHA fics. Just try to rewrite or refine the first 20 chapters if you have the time. Please update soon!
The beginning of the story was great, but the limited vision of the author made the story bad especially how he made the hero in the same division as Midoriya and others. Also, changing the hero’s mentality is neither rational nor logical. It was a story that would be amazing if it made the hero evil. Unfortunately, it made the hero a boring person. Especially by making the hero can kill the third strongest character only at the age of 12 years. I think from that moment you ran out of new and innovative ideas. Unfortunately you made a junkyard story with amazing prospects because of your limited ideas
Probably one if not my favorite mha fanfic and i have basically read them all also like the relationship between him and midnight nope they get together also I hope u don’t make it a harem or at least not more than like 3
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Great story finally a MHA fanfic that does in a somewhat different direction than the average. In this story the MC is not overly heroic but not entirely evil either
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Not harem,so this story have a romance?Or you just...okey,i wait your answer.And I am right now start to read this fanfic. I hope I won't be disappointed
5 star because of the Tags: Not-Harem, NotaSimp, Ruthless MC Damn~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ nothing much to say
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I tried to like this but the story is so flawed its painful. 1st the characters are so 1 dimensional you can't relate to them 2nd the half of the supporting characters don't have names and 3rd you have probably the worst idea of how family members act towards each other. Twins up to a certain age are inseparable, parents feel protectively for their children unless the parent in question has severe mental health issues they wouldn't act like they do in the "book", good luck with your attempts at writing I hope you get better.
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