Kapitel 4: Chapter 4: The Team of Crows

(TW: Implications of abuse, torture, and self-harm. Thoughts of self-doubt and death)

LI WEI FOUND HIMSELF SKATING IN THE OLYMPICS-surrounded by adoring fans and the like. He was preparing himself for a quadruple jump, into a triple axel, and finishing with a salchow. He felt alive for the first time in years, knowing that if he won the gold, maybe his parents would finally be proud of him. Just as he was about to jump, the ice beneath him shattered and no longer could he hear the audience. The world around turned dark as he slowly fell into the freezing water, his mind whirling. Li Wei tried to get onto another piece of ice, unwilling to drown right before his olympic routine, but he just couldn't.

Chains latched around his arms and legs, dragging him further and further down the ocean. He couldn't breathe at all and could only watch the light get smaller and smaller up above. His parent's cruel laughter was the only sound he could hear as he succumbed to his fate. Terror filled his eyes, knowing that it was all over. He wanted to die. He was about to be in their clutches when the world around him suddenly lit up-

Li Wei jumped up from his bed, sweat visible everywhere. "It was just a dream.." He muttered, tears falling from his eyes. His hands were still shaking as he could almost feel the chains still latched onto him. He slowly turned his head towards his alarm clock, '4:03am' it read. Li wei wiped the tears from his eyes as he slowly got up from his bed, knowing going back to sleep would be pointless.

He sauntered over to the shower, wanting to drown himself in some form of warmth. When he got in, his mind was plagued with thoughts of how stupid he was for thinking he was able to have a peaceful sleep. Nightmares were so common for Li Wei that his sleep schedule was fairly messed up. Some nights were fine, but then the nightmares would come back with a vengeance. The water burned his skin, especially his newest cuts, but Li Wei didn't care, instead he was punishing himself for being foolish.

Rules from his other 'home' were deeply embedded in his mind. Rule 1: Don't ever talk back. Rule 2: Eating is only to be done when given permission. Rule 3: Never be late. Rule 4: Keep close contact with connections, an opportunity can never slip away. Rule 5: If a rule is broken without anyone being aware of it, perform a punishment on self. Rule 6: Make no noise throughout the night. Li Wei often broke rule 6, considering how often he had nightmares. It took years for him to master silent sobs and he usually slept with a gag of sorts in his mouth to prevent himself from screaming.

Though no one was around to punish him, Li Wei constantly tried to follow rules 5 and 6, simply because he messed up so often. Rule 2 wasn't much of an issue as no one would call him out on eating whenever, but the other rules still terrified him. Anyone else would say it was silly of him to follow rules that no longer pertain to him, but some habits are simply hard to break away from.

Turning off the shower, Li Wei gently covered himself in a robe as his scars continued to sting. Luckily, they were upon his shoulders, somewhere no one would check and where he could easily state was just muscle pains. He dried his hair naturally, unwilling to damage something that brought him both pain and comfort.

Golden rays shimmered throughout his room, signifying the sunrise on the horizon. Li Wei grabbed the black gakuran, a white collared shirt, and the black pants, changing into them slowly. He didn't feel great mentally today whatsoever and his nerves returned tenfold once the uniform was completely on. Feeling himself getting more worked up by the second, Li Wei clenched his fists tightly and let the pain bring him back to the present.

The time now read 6am, leaving Li Wei with far too much time before Hinata would arrive, so he grabbed his brown bag and went downstairs. The quietness of the household added onto the loneliness Li Wei felt, wondering if maybe it was time to get a pet of sorts. He wasn't allowed any and felt as though having an animal would help him overcome things.

Once downstairs, Li Wei decided to eat a small cereal bar, feeling as though he would throw up otherwise. The anxiety lay in wait, preparing itself to knock Li Wei off guard at the last second. Throwing up was something Li Wei despised. Tears would escape his eyes whenever he vomited and would land him in far too much trouble than it was worth. 'A young man shouldn't be so sensitive.' His father would embed those ideas into him, making it difficult to forgive himself whenever he broke down.

Time passed by slowly as Li Wei waited for Hinata to arrive. He was scrolling through his phone, reading article after article about the newest scandals in the entertainment world. It fascinated him how easily people believed one person without hearing the other's side. Then again, maybe that was just human nature. Sympathy was a sure way to garner support.

Li Wei suddenly jumped up when he heard 3 harsh knocks on the door. Taking a second to calm his fast beating heart, he quickly made his way over and opened the door, once again welcoming a tangerine into his arms. Excitement was clearly visible on Hinata's face, probably from the knowledge that he'd join the volleyball team today.

"Lets go! LETS GO!!" Hinata excitedly said, dragging Li Wei right out of the house. Hinata only let go for a moment so that Li Wei could lock the door, but then he was brought all the way to Hinata's red bike. He sat on the seat, while Hinata decided to bike standing up, otherwise they wouldn't fit at all.

The ride to Karasuno was peaceful, Hinata chattered about whatever he wanted to while Li Wei would simply listen. The only upsetting conversation they had was the realization they would be in different classes. Hinata was in class 1-1, while Li Wei was in 1-5, the most advanced class. Li Wei promised Hinata that he would eat lunch with him whenever he wanted so that they could still be with each other while in separate classes.

"AH!" Hinata suddenly yelled out, starting Li Wei. "What is it Hinata-kun? Are you alright?" Li Wei became a bit frantic, worried his friend was hurt or freaked out. "I forgot!! Classes don't start today, but club sign-ups do." Hinata exclaimed, so excited to join the volleyball team, whereas Li Wei was annoyed. He had worried for nothing.

When they arrived, Li Wei had unintentionally placed his mask back on, exuding an aura of superiority without really meaning to. Hinata found it crazy how Li Wei could go from an unsure lost puppy to a king.

"Lets go sign up!!" Hinata yelled out and ran towards the volleyball building. Li Wei groaned, before jogging after Hinata. It was odd to him how club sign-ups were done before classes began but he assumed that's just how it was in Japanese schools.

Hinata pushed open the doors to the volleyball gym, all excited to join the team, when his eyes landed on a tall black-haired boy. "Why is he here?!?" He exclaimed, annoyed at seeing the person he declared as his rival going for the same team.

Li Wei walks into an interesting scene within the gym, courtesy of Hinata and another boy. The two seemingly go back and forth, not necessarily fighting but clearly not getting along. Aside from them, there are 3 other students also in the gym.

In the distance the 3 are talking with one another. "The first setter of Kitagawa is on our team?" Sawamura Daichi muttered out. Tanaka Ryuunosuke seemed a bit put off by the idea, "But the guy's totally cocky." Sugawara Koushi was a bit nervous by the way Tanaka was acting, "Don't try and intimidate him, okay?" It was at that moment that Tanaka felt betrayed that his teammates would ever think that. "I-I wouldn't do something like that." He huffed out.

Li Wei awkwardly stood by the bleachers, watching as the black-haired boy, Kageyama Tobio, introduced himself to the 3 students whose names he had yet to learn. The grey-haired one in particular seemed impressed by Kageyama's height of 180cm, while the delinquent-looking character seemed bothered. Not necessarily in a bad way, but more so in a 'I'm your senpai, respect me' way. He also watched as Hinata went on to grab their attention, with Li Wei suddenly realizing he never sent in an application.

Panicking, Li Wei attempted to disappear into the background, unsure of what to do. During his panic, he didn't notice the growing tension between Kageyama and Hinata. He could hear the upperclassmen attempting to get them to calm down, but the two were already riled up.

"You guys, you know, you're not enemies anymore. Volleyball is about teamwork-" Sawamura was beginning to say, but he was cut off by Hinata's sudden challenge towards Kageyama. Tanaka was annoyed by this, "Hey! Daichi-san is still talking!", yet his words were ignored.

The two kept on going, with Sawamura's irritation slowly growing in leaps and bounds. Li Wei wanted to help Hinata but felt like he wasn't able to breach the conversation at all. Suddenly, the gym's door opened up and a man, who was clearly a teacher or staff member of sorts, walked in. "What's the commotion, volleyball club?" He asked, staring down the team.

Tanaka attempted to warn the first years of how the vice principal likes to make trouble, but the message clearly wasn't received. Out of nowhere, Li Wei watches in panic, for Hinata, as a volleyball is ricocheted off of his face, slamming into the vice principal's face instead. There's a moment of silence as a wig falls off of the vice principal's head and lands on Sawamura, who is called over by the man.

It's evening once Sawamura comes back into the gym, informing the members that no one is being punished, nor are apologies necessary. It's all on the basis that no one mentions a word of what they say, which is easily agreed to.

Li Wei watches as both Hinata and Kageyama are kicked out of the gym for being unable to work out whatever issues they had. He's not really sure what to do by this point so he waits for one of the upperclassmen to notice him. It doesn't take very long as Li Wei's presence is strong enough as it is and Sugawara saunters over.

"Hello! What's your name and intended position? We don't have an application from you, so it'd be helpful if you could tell us what you are planning to do." He says gently, unfazed by the cold demeanor visible on Li Wei's face. If anything, he blushes a bit, noticing just how beautiful Li Wei actually is. Respect towards elders or those older has been ingrained in Li Wei's mind, so he politely bows to his seniors. "My name is Li Wei and i'd like to become a manager if possible."

"Ah! Well, we already have a manager but we wouldn't mind another, right Daichi-san?" Sugawara turns towards Sawamura, awaiting his reply. Sawamura nods and walks over himself. He has to will away the blush appearing on his cheeks before speaking. "Let me introduce the team to you then Li-san. My name is Sawamura Daichi, a third year and the captain of this team. I play the positions of wing spiker, opposite hitter, and defensive specialist. The one who just spoke to you is Sugawara Koushi, another third year, as well as the vice captain. He is both a setter and pinch server. Lastly, we have Tanaka Ryuunosuke, a second year, who plays as a wing spiker and outside hitter." Sawamura says, pointing to the other two during the introductions.

"We also have 3 other members who are currently not here right now. You and the other first year members will be introduced to them tomorrow. There is also our manager, who should be here soon." Li Wei simply nods, a bit overloaded by the information dump.

"OI! I'm your senpai!" Tanaka exclaims, pointing dramatically at himself. Li Wei isn't sure what he wants but utters out a soft, "Tanaka-senpai", which seems to be the correct answer. "You're my favorite first year now." He childishly declares, 110% not blushing the tiniest bit due to Li Wei's gorgeousness, all while a new person enters the gym. Sugawara hurries to close the door after the person enters.

Li Wei stares at the beautiful black-haired girl who walks straight towards the group. Tanaka is the first to bounce over to her, wanting to help out yet also compliment her. She simply ignores him, seemingly used to the whole spheal. "It turns me on when she ignores me!" Tanaka says to no one. "Ah, there she is. This is our manager, Shimizu Kiyoko, a third year. Kiyoko-san, this is Li Wei, a potential new manager." He says, while Li Wei bows towards her.

She makes a 'follow-me' motion and Li Wei goes over to her, his cold demeanor disappearing as his anxiety makes a reappearance. "Here, this is the application for managers, please fill it out and bring it to Takeda-sensei. He is our club advisor." She states, holding out the piece of paper towards him. He takes it and nods to her, feeling a bit out of depth.

Practice passes by, with Kiyoko teaching Li Wei the basics of being a manager and what is to be expected of him, which he takes in stride. The two end up hitting it off, with Li Wei appearing as a cute lost puppy in Kiyoko's eyes. She already feels like an older sister to him after having witnessed how unsure he is when it comes to females. It was especially cute when he clearly wanted to grab her attention but wasn't sure how, so he poked her shoulder. The second that cold demeanor was removed, she was left with a flustered mess of a person.

Li Wei is proud to say he has made his second friend, though she's very different from Hinata. Kiyoko is a lot more mature and respects his boundaries. If Li Wei was still in Beijing and someone such as Kiyoko existed there, maybe things would've been different. She doesn't fawn over him like many of the girls did at his old school because of his looks nor his status, which the club is unaware of. He still doubts himself with the whole manager concept, unsure if maybe he should just not do it. When explaining these doubts, Kiyoko was kind enough to dispel any questions he may have had and instead motivated him a bit.

Li Wei still worried about Hinata, who hadn't come back into the gym yet. Practice was declared to be over and the other members were banking on what the two first years would say in order to get Sawamura to let them join. "They'll probably say, 'Let us in if we can beat you in a match"'. Tanaka snickered, while Sugawara agreed that it was a possibility.

The doors suddenly slammed open and Li Wei was taken out of his thoughts. "Captain!" Both boys yelled out, determination marring their features. "Let us challenge you to a match. The two of us against you senpais!" They declared, unwilling to be unable to join the team.

"Are these guys for real?!" Tanaka said in surprise, despite having somewhat predicted it. Li Wei and the others could hear the quiet 'one, two' from both Kageyama and Hinata, as if they were counting down on when to speak. "We'll prove that we can cooperate as a team!" Passion was evident in their tone, leading to Sawamura giving the idea consideration. "And what if you lose?" He questioned, waiting for their reply.

Hinata clearly hadn't thought that far, letting out a small 'urk'. Kageyama on the other hand said they'd endure any penalty. "Hmm..Then now's the time. There are two other first-year applicants besides you guys. It'll be a three-on-three match against them." Sawamura stated, confusing Hinata for a second. "But how does it become three-on-three? Who's our third member?"

Li Wei was tired by this point, ready to go home and recharge. He'd already screwed up by thinking today was the first day of classes, but it actually wasn't. Today was instead a day for club sign-ups. The largest positive was having Kiyoko as a new friend, but other than that? He feels as though he got worked up for nothing. A bit too into his own little world again, Kiyoko gently nudge him, having noticed how Li Wei simply spaced out. "A-ah, thank you Kiyoko-san." He softly uttered out, flustered that he was caught not paying attention.

She chucked a bit, "It's alright, you didn't miss that much. Tanaka-san will be on Hinata-san's and Kageyama-san's team." Li Wei thanked her, before going back to watching the scene play out. Apparently, if Hinata's team lost, then Kageyama would never be allowed to play setter as long as the third years were on the team. That means the two were on the team.

Li Wei is intelligent, so he easily picked up on what Sawamura san as doing. By riling Kageyama up, it would cause him to strive to work well with Hinata and Tanaka, instead of doing it all on his own. Li Wei felt a bit bad for Hinata, noticing how he was often overlooked in favor of Kageyama. 'Hopefully that will change,' he thought.

"The game will be Saturday morning." Sawamura stated, before both Hinata and Kageyama were left outside the gym. The upperclassmen seemed a bit hesitant when it came to whether or not Sawamura was being too harsh or not, but he had the right reasons for it.

Unlike volleyball, ice skating is a singular sport most of the time, but Li Wei has done routines with a partner. If he was unable to connect with his partner on stage, the entire routine will feel disconnected and be uninteresting for the audience. The same logic applies to volleyball. If a member of one's team refuses to cooperate with the rest, they have a higher chance of losing or screwing up critical points.

Li Wei decided it was time to leave, wanting to speak to Hinata about what he and Kageyama were conversing about while they were outside the gym. "Excuse me, I will be leaving. I'll bring the application to Takeda-sensei tomorrow. Thank you for welcoming me into the club." He bowed at a 90 degree angle, before straightening back up and waving to the rest of the team as he left the gym. Upon his departure, he was met with an angry Kageyama holding Hinata's shirt and yelling in his face.

Without even thinking about it, Li Wei quickly walks over and grabs Kageyama's wrist, harshly pulling him off Hinata. "Don't touch my friends like that." Li Wei's words are laced with venom and his entire demeanor has changed. If looks could kill, Kageyama would be 6 feet under.

Kageyama is completely thrown off by Li Wei and a bit surprised by the sudden aggression. Hinata on the other hand is trying to calm Li Wei down. "It's okay!! He didn't hurt me! We were just arg-..debating! Yeah debating." Hinata quickly corrects his small slipup, continuing his mission of getting Li Wei to relax. It made him immensely happy to see how protective Li Wei is of him but, this was his issue to deal with.

Li Wei is still understandably suspicious of the so-called 'debate' but gives in when Hinata uses his puppy eyes. He gives Kageyama one last glare before turning back towards Hinata. "Shall we go home, Hinata-kun?" Li Wei asks, wanting to simply go home and relax.

Hinata is about to answer when he realizes he forgot his bag in the gym, "My bag! I forgot my bag!" He runs back into the gym, leaving Li Wei and Kageyama in an awkward atmosphere with hints of hostility. The two don't speak, Li Wei finding Kageyama to be unlikeable simply for his transgression against Hinata, while Kageyama is a bit intimidated by Li Wei.

The atmosphere is broken apart when Hinata pops back outside, seemingly not having noticed anything. Kageyama huffs, "5:00am, don't be late." He then completely ignores Li Wei and leaves. Hinata yells back at Kageyama to not be late either, before holding onto Li Wei "Ok, now we can go back!"

The two get back onto Hinata's red bike, with Hinata telling Li Wei all about his time with Kageyama. The two seem to have more complications with one another and Li Wei isn't sure how the two will really work out together. He's still upset at Kageyama, unable to understand the sudden violence used against Hinata.

Li Wei hates physical violence in general, having been susceptible to it for years with no real reason. He doesn't feel that anyone should use violence unless it is in self-defense. He hadn't mentioned it to Hinata, but he was scared, frightened even. If Kageyama is willing to be violent over a small argument, who knows how far he would go.

When the two arrive at Li Wei's home, they say goodbye to one another. Just as Li Wei is about to enter his home, Hinata yells out to him, "Be at the gym at 5:00am!!," before he is biking away rapidly.

When Li Wei gets inside, he grabs a pen from his school bag and fills out the application, unwilling to procrastinate. The day had been stressful and tiring, especially considering his mental state. Being at the club made many of his awful thoughts stay away but once he was alone, they all came back.

Is there any reason for him to join? He felt like an outsider for most of his time with the club, only really connecting with Kiyoko. He wants to play volleyball, but if he can't connect with the team, it'd just be lonely. He's also worried about Hinata staying around him less. His friend won't ever abandon him, but now he'll make new friends and they'll have less time together.

He knows he sounds like a whiny child who lost his toy to some other child, but Hinata is his first friend and he was so grateful for the attention and time Hinata gave him. Losing some of that would admittedly hurt.

Having finished the application, Li Wei makes some cup noodles, eating it while watching tv. He feels lethargic by this point and quickly finishes his meal. Walking up the stairs at the pace of a snail, Li Wei finally makes it to his room, throwing off his clothing as soon as he could. He put himself into comfortable pj's and set the alarm for 5:00am, praying that he'd actually get some sleep.

Hopefully tomorrow would be better, yet classes do actually start so he isn't sure. He was thankful that no one on the team fawned over him, but there is a high chance tomorrow will simply be worse.

With worrisome thoughts on his mind, Li Wei falls into a deep sleep.