Tales of Death Bearer

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LV 2

Jhonnil

First time writing a review so just going to say it is an interesting read looking forward to reading more🙂 sysfisifitztzsgkittkdfzkxigkgsdgsgsktzdydotdyokgx

LV 5

Mecca_Droidbot

First off: Posting a review of your own story, and giving it 5-stars is an ass-hat thing to do. Second. Run-on sentences. You need to fix that. Your story formatting is terrible, as there are broken sentences repeatedly. Third. Spelling, and Capitalization. There are several spelling mistakes, easily identifiable with spell-check. Capitalization for emphasis or to indicate shouting is a poor way to go about it. Using it for a 'system' message is equally bad. Fourth. World background. It's a cliche that 'MC travels back in time', but it's not a bad idea if done right. From the (limited) story so far, it doesn't seem to be implemented well. Not only does he: a) go back in time 380 years, I think, to 1 year before 'the event' b) he gains some sort of system with his stats c) this system can also supply him with item to increase his power. One of these options is powerful. Two is over-powered. All three are Mary-Sue levels of power