Kapitel 94: 94
I was thinking Emily would say something about that night but she didn't. Two days went and she didn't mention it and that got me worried.
I was hoping we'd address it and I'd get another chance to apologize and explain how my actions were influenced by alcohol. I won't lie, 55 % of what I did want because I was drunk. I knew what I was doing, I had planned it and told myself several times that it would be a bad idea. I wanted her to much that I for a second, felt been hard on her would make her be mine but, did it work?
Emily did so well in avoiding me, she didn't sleep in the room and pretended like she was so busy with school work and was falling asleep while doing assignments or reading. That way, Mom and Dad didn't suspect but I knew it was deeper than what she let them see.
She was grounded and her screen time reduced. Once it was 8 pm she had to give up her phone or get disconnected. I watched her from afar and saw how she carried on with her activities like I didn't exist.
That freaking hurts! I want to yank her shoulders, to tell her that I had been here all along and I am sorry even if I enjoyed a what I did. Even if I wanted my dick to go to the right place and want her screaming my name.
I woke up feeling hungry. I missed Dinner so I had to figure out what to eat. I walked into the sitting room and saw her on the sofa. Her books were scattered on the floor and I figured she fell asleep there. She was still stretching when I walked in. She turned in my direction and turned her face back. She was about to act like I wasn't existing and I couldn't bear it.
"Wait, Emily—"
"Don't," she ordered raising her hand and I gave a nod.
She didn't want me coming any closer to her and I had to respect that for the main time. Small part of me want to ignore it and move to her, and hug her, and kiss her soft lips but that would be stupid as I was stupid. I stood a few steps away from her and tried apologizing.
"I'm really sorry."
She got off her bed and slid her legs into her slippers. She picked up the duvet she used and returned them to the room. I followed her about but she wasn't responding to my apologies or acknowledging any of the things I said.
"Emily you can't keep doing this."
She turned to me and squeezed her jaw. "Then watch me do it."
"No, I mean—"
I couldn't even explain what I meant. She was serious about wanting to cut ties with me and end the whole shit. I blame myself for everything and for molesting her, frankly, I shouldn'have done it. I didn't want to but I needed her so much.
There's no justification for what I did but I wished she saw it from another perspective. Fvck, I was going to lose Emily no matter what I said.
I sat on the bed still apologizing as she applied her makeup to her face. She was getting dressed and I hadn't even taken my bath. I just wanted her to listen to me, to understand me.
"Can I get one more chance to prove how much I care about you?"
"You don't care about me, get that off your head!" She yelled and applied a matte lipstick.
When she was done, she looked at her reflection one last time and walked out on me. This was going to be extremely difficult.
I ran a quick bath and dressed up in a casual shirt and trousers. I didn't want to delay her because I knew she'd take a bus to school.
I didn't even brush my hair, I just applied the cream and stormed out of the room. By the time I got to the dining, Emily was already standing there with Dad. My lips twitched as I got closer and heard their conversation.
He was asking her what was happening because he noticed she wasn't herself lately.
"It's nothing Dad."
"Tell me about it, Emily, I'm your dad."
She gave a nod and a quick smile. "And you're the best Dad in the world," she added. "It's just school, I'm only worried about my exams. They've been coming at me at a fast pace and sometimes I just feel like I need to breathe."
"That's understandable, baby."
She gave a nod and he pulled her into a quick warm hug. "You've got this in control okay?"
"Yes, Dad."
As she hugged him, she raised her head and met me standing at the doorway. Her face changed into a frown and the smoke disappeared. She pulled out of the hug and told Dad she needed to leave.
"Take care of yourself okay?"
"Sure."
Getting to school, I sat down and wrote the exam. It was just one paper so I had the rest of the day to think of how to get Emily to forgive me.
I turned around and saw Devin staring at a picture. I hated seeing him smile at his phone, it made me feel it was Emily he was talking to whenever he did that. I contemplated walking to him but I didn't want to do shit that would make it harder to make Emily forgive me, I was already in a whole mess with her.
I turned to leave but saw Emily entering the class. My eyes followed her till I saw she stopped at where Devin stood and hugged him from behind. A lump formed in my throat as I watched her. She looked at me and turned her face away.
She kissed Devin on his chin and Devin returned her smile. His smile was weak but she kept looking at him. Was she trying to trigger me? Why else would she kiss him in my front when she knew it was part of the things that drove me crazy to see?
Shxt! I want to break someone.
Devin wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a hug but he looked scared. Not scared, like he had this sorry look.
"Damn it," I blurted and walked away.
I didn't have to stand there and get pissed. If I got triggered, I would throw a fist at Devin and have him bleed from his nose.
I walked away quietly and found somewhere to stay till it was closing hours. When it was time to go, I walked to the truck but Emily wasn't there yet. I huffed and turned around but she was not in sight. I walked back to the building and when to her class but it was empty. She wasn't in the library either.
Well, Who the hell stays in the library during closing hours?
I was getting frustrated looking for her so I picked up my phone and called Dad. I needed to inform him that his little princess has wandered off again. Emily just makes everything difficult for me.
"Dad?"
"Yes, Xavier? What's wrong?"
"Dad I can't find her—"
"Find who?"
"Emily. Dad I can't find Emily anywhere around. I've been searching for her and—"
"Emily is home."
I let out a scoff and disconnected the call. I didn't want to show how mad I was so I ended the call and walked angrily to my truck.
I was driving out of the freeway when I saw James's car.
Now I see where he get that her annoying attitude from, her father.
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein