Kapitel 374: Chapter 374
"Dammit!" Pearl shouted at the spilled bucket of feed. The sun was barely up and she was still half asleep. Her reflexes were slow and when the heavy bucket began to teeter, she didn't stop it in time.
"Can I help?" A voice said from behind her, causing her to jump. She looked back and saw Aiden standing there. Great, she thought. All I need.
"Sure, why not?" She said, bending down and scooping the feed back into the bucket.
He carried over a dust pan and broom and began helping her clean up the disaster that was her morning.
"Thanks." She said after it was somewhat salvaged.
"No problem." He said with a smile.
She nodded and picked the bucket back up, walking away from him to the end of the barn, hoping he wouldn't follow. He did.
"So, how are you liking the ranch so far?" She pretended not to hear him. She wasn't in the mood for small talk. Her marriage was still on the rocks, her best friend built a therapy ranch for her and her men because of her terrible choices and she was about to hit her mid life crisis soon and all she wanted was to drink an entire bottle of scotch and sleep for 24 straight hours.
"Not much for conversation I see?" He said as he followed her out to the horses.
"I just have no desire to talk about myself." She said.
"I merely asked you if you are enjoying the ranch, not what your childhood was like." He said, seeming slightly bemused.
Pearl huffed and dumped the feed into the troughs. She looked at him and realized that he wasn't going away until she said something.
"The ranch is beautiful and purposeful, which is awesome." She said. He nodded. "And my childhood was a nightmare. My father was an alcoholic and he regularly used my mother and myself as both physical and emotional punching bags. I like music, poetry, I love my children and the thing I hate the most is obligatory, getting-to-know-you-small talk." She said, putting the bucket down and walking away. He stood there and smiled. She was going to be anything but boring, he thought.
Pearl got back to the ranch and cleaned up. Dylan came into the mud room and interrupted her.
"Hey. I have a guest coming today so I can't leave the ranch." He said. Pearl nodded.
"It's ok. I was looking forward to sleeping for 18 hours straight anyway." She said, drying her hands.
"I still need some supplies from town. I was hoping maybe you could go, check it out, get away for a bit." He said. Pearl smiled. It sounded like a wonderful idea.
"Sure. Sounds nice. Just give me a list." She said with a smile.
"Awesome. I'll have Aiden bring the truck around in a bit. But breakfast first." He said, patting her shoulder and smiling. Pearl rolled her eyes. "Aiden." She said.
"He's not so bad. He's a nice person." Dylan said, chuckling slightly like he knew something she didn't.
"Fine. Whatever." She said, turning and leaving Dylan standing there.
She only had toast and coffee for breakfast. Everyone came and went, taking things more in a continental breakfast kind of way instead of sitting down altogether like they normally did. About 20 minutes later, Aiden came in.
"Ready to go? Dylan said you have a list." He said, sitting down next to her at a barstool and grabbing a croissant.
"Yep. Let's go." She said, getting up and walking out to the driveway. He nodded and smiled, following her.
"If you have to pee, better go now. It's roughly two hours before a restroom." He said.
"I remember the drive here. Thanks." She said, opening the truck door and getting in.
"Okay." He said to himself out loud, getting into the driver's side and starting the truck. "Off we go." He said. Pearl remained silent as they rounded the long lane leading away from the ranch and through the main gate.
"Man, the queen of England. In this truck with me." Aiden said, merging onto the main road.
Pearl remained quiet and looking out of the window.
"It must be difficult for you. Being in such an incredibly important role, in a country that isn't home." He said. She looked over at him.
"The people there have been accepting and good to me." She said.
"Yes." He said, keeping his eyes on the road. "But you went through a full courtship with Erik and then had to find out about all of that evil going on behind your back. The things that family did. It must have been difficult for you. Three failed relationships in such a short time, in such a big way." He said. His tone was even and he was definitely trying to get her to talk about it. And she didn't want to, at all.
"You seem to know a lot about me. Why don't you tell me how it was." She said sarcastically.
"Okay." He said. "You never had a role model for what male love was truly supposed to be, your father being the model for all others after. So, instead of demanding more from men, you accept the love you feel you deserve vs. what you know is right. That's why you fall for these men that need a savior. That need an emotional punching bag, if you will." He said, looking over at her and then back at the road. "It's a cycle for you. You stayed a long time with your first husband only because it's what your mother did. But when he, with absolute certainty, didn't want you around anymore, you left. Holden Tomlinson was only a rebound. A quick, knee jerk, fantasy man that made you feel wanted enough to move past the marriage but blindfolded you to his immaturity. And Erik. Well, a prince, I mean, who wouldn't have fallen for that? I don't blame you for that one at all. I believe you loved him very much and still do. Always will. He hurt you when he lied about who he was. But you knew the entire time. Deep down. You knew. You wanted to save him. You wanted to be the reason your father changed, and Erik was a second chance for that. This thought he you have about men.. 'His love for me should make him want to be a better man. My dad couldn't do it but Erik will.' You wanted that. You wanted for once in your life to be enough. That's what kept you there with him until you saw how bad the monster really was inside of him." Pearl couldn't stop the tears from falling. Hot streams of anger, pouring from her eyes. This man had no business telling her these things. He didn't know her. How dare he?
He continued. "Dylan was always there but it wasn't what you wanted because you didn't feel you deserved to be loved like that. And I'm not so sure about your current marriage. Sebastian seems like a stand up man, a good man overall. But I'm more concerned about your intentions there. Why? Why be with him when you have nothing to save? I mean, he's injured now but that's not what makes you tick, is it? You need him to be emotionally distant." He said.
"Pull over." Pearl managed to get out of her mouth. "Pull, the fuck, over."
He obliged. She opened the truck door and paced into the open terrain.
"Pearl." Aiden said, getting out of the truck and following after her.
"Who the fuck do you think you are?!" She shouted. "How dare you presume to know me!"
"Are you more upset about me saying what I did or that what I said was right?" He shouted back. She could feel the rage seething inside of her.
"What are you, some kind of stalker?" She asked.
"Why didn't you stay in music? Why didn't you follow your true knowledge of yourself and stay away from Erik and that entire family? Now you have children involved. Why did you allow yourself to become a cliche?" Aiden asked.
"I am the queen of England. I am far from a cliche." She said, wiping the tears and snot from her face.
"Yeah. You look like it." He said, leaning on the truck's bumper.
She walked up to him, close. "You don't know me. You don't know me at all." She said.
He leaned in closer to her. "I know that you continue to make choices that affect you in a negative way because of your early relationship with your father. I know you are not happy and that you have allowed yourself to fall victim to a fantasy life that you think you should have vs. what you truly need and want. And even worse, you selfishly brought children, an entire country, and the fucking world into it. You have a mess to clean up and the only one that's going to do it this time is you." He said, looking into her eyes. "So stop with with narcissistic, playing victim bullshit and take some accountability for once." He said. She stepped closer and slapped him across the face, hard.
"How dare you?" She said.
He turned to her and smiled, holding his hand out to her.
"Dr. Aiden Paulson, PhD." He said. "At your service."
"A shrink?" She asked, half under her breath.
"Psychologist." He said. He offered her his bandana to wipe her eyes and face. She took it and looked back up at him.
"How long have you been studying me?" She asked.
"Since Dylan first told me about you." He said. "I am fascinated with your story and would very much like to help you succeed."
"Great." She said dryly. "And you live on the ranch?" She asked.
"Yes." He said. "I work with everyone that comes there. And I helped Dylan get his counseling certification. We are all a team. And I'm here to help you now, if you'll let me." He said. Pearl leaned against the bumper with him, looking forward.
"That was all incredibly hard to hear. What you said." She said.
"If it were easy, I wouldn't need to say it in the first place." He said. She nodded.
A few minutes went by between them.
"Well then, let's get to town and get this list taken care of." Pearl said. Aiden nodded and they both got into the truck and carried on.
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein