Kapitel 21: Chapter 20:
"Make sure to get ready for your exam next week. I hope you'll study every subject with determination. That's all, goodbye, everyone."
The girl that was playing and spinning the pen with her fingers stopped as she heard the word 'goodbye'. Navier's eyes lit up in excitement as a bright smile instantly flashed on her face.
"Finally!" She unintentionally cheered.
"Ms. Navier Evangeline, I can still hear you. No offense but I hope the grades you get are higher than your squeal just now," the teacher said with a serious face, unimpressed.
Navier was surprised when she heard the teacher's claim, the class then laugh as she scratch her head in embarrassment. She just looked down as the teacher got out when someone appeared in front of her.
"Don't pay any attention to what Professor Miles said, I heard he has financial problems right now, that's why he behaves like that these days," Sanz, one of her classmates informed and encouraged her.
"Yeah, when I was about to pass our worksheet to the teacher's lounge I saw him wiping his tears in a corner," the president of their class who was passing by said.
"Really?" Navier asked worriedly.
"Hmm," she nodded and soon left the room. Navier sat there with a frown on her face.
"Navi, we're going home now!" The other girls waved at her from the door, she smiled and waved goodbye at them. She then once again zoned out for a long time.
"Aren't you also going home?" Sanz asked her from the outside window, the group of boys that were with him also looked at her waiting for her answer as she seems to have no intention of moving.
"Yeah, I'm just waiting for all of you to go since I'm the one holding our classroom key right now," she reasoned. She proudly nods at herself while saying 'Fake it til' you make it' in her head.
"Ummm... Navi, you're the only one left inside," the boy behind Sanz giggled. Navier looked around, it's confirmed that no one else was inside, even the windows were closed now.
Navier heard a quick screech making her skin hair rose up, she immediately got up and frustratedly ran to the door that made her almost stumble resulting in the boys watching her laugh. She then shut the door making a loud bang which the boys who were just laughing at her clumsiness flinched in surprise.
"Oh my gosh! The doorknob broke!"
She looked at them the doorknob in her hands with big eyes hoping for some help but the boys just blinked at her.
"W-What do I do? How much does this cost?"
"Pf-AHAHAHA!"
"Hey, don't just laugh there! Help me!"
"AHAHAHAHA Navi you-AHAHAHAHA!"
One of the boys was laughing too much that he had to kneel. One was touching his tummy and Sanz was wiping his tears.
"What is going on here?" A professor came upon hearing the loud noises in the hall.
"HAHAHA Sir! Navi- huh?" They all stopped laughing as Navi that was just in front of them was now nowhere to be seen.
"Mr. Sanz Perlonn, how did you separate the doorknob from the door?"
"What? Huh? Why is this in my hand?!" They all looked at the broken doorknob that was placed on Sanz's grip.
"Mr. Perlonn, Mr. Perillo, Mr. Fenin, and Mr. Thomas, I would like you to explain at my office," the professor said as he signed the four to follow him.
"But Sir it was Na-"
"Just follow me, don't say a word," the professor strictly said.
The four boys groaned, once they passed the hallway they could see Navi running outside as fast as she can to get to the gate. The boys then stared at her with a betrayed face as they follow the professor.
Navier looked back at them and gave a peace sign as she smiled, the boys frowned at her but their frowning faces soon turned into suppressing waves of laughter. While Navier was running and looking back at them, giving them an annoying face she bumped into the gate.
"Deserve," the four boys nodded in agreement.
"What was that?" The professor gave them a glare and they all kept quiet.
Navier stood up and pouted by herself, luckily her body was the one that bumped into the large gate and not her head. She rubbed the dirt off her uniform and knees while looking around if someone saw her.
While she was making a pouty face her eyes land upon a familiar face. A smile once again plastered on her face. She started to ran closer to him and shouted his name.
"Professor Miles!"
The professor that was about to enter a cab stopped. He looked at Navier who was crossing the street to get to him.
"Ms. Evangeline, do you need something?" He asked as Navier reached him.
"Ah no, I just wanted to say that no matter how hard things get you can fight it! You are one of the best and intelligent teachers I know. You made me understood math in just a single explanation, you also didn't give up on me no matter how many times I almost failed your subject."
"Think of your problem as me, you said you would always find a way for me to learn and understand the lessons. If you think like that, you might think of other possible solutions and write it in your lesson plans like you used to do after privately teaching me after an hour of explaining the same topic to me!"
Navier proudly said that made the teacher smile. Navier's bubbly appearance and attitude calmed him a little.
"Alright," the teacher took a deep breath and smiled at her. His eyes were now a bit relaxed and he took the chance to finally breathe away the tension he was feeling.
"That's right! You got this Professor Miles! I will always believe in you!"
"I'll take that advice, Ms. Evangeline. Thank you," he said as he patted her head before entering the cab. As the cab was going away, Navier delightedly waved at it.
When she made sure the cab was now out of her sight, she started walking. With a smile plastered on her face she hummed a happy melody, she caught on the other students who were walking back to their homes too.
"Navier!"
"Navier hey!"
"Hello!" She greeted them cheerfully with the biggest smile she can give. The others started to greet her as well. They don't know why but she really will leave an impact on you even if you just saw her once.
Navier was the type of person that will greet you with a smile and somehow make you think that she doesn't know the pain the world gives. She has this adventurous and playful aura that'll make you feel comfortable. She was very good with words, she'll somehow say what you want to hear whenever you're having trouble.
Navier was very happy with the festive atmosphere but stopped in her tracks when she heard barking sounds. She looked around but a dog cannot be seen. She started to follow the sound and came upon a dog barking and wagging its tail looking up at the tree.
She followed what it was gazing at and saw a hedgehog that was not moving at all. Navier was surprised and was alarmed.
"Shoo! Bad dog! Go away! Sho-AHHH! No no not me!"
Navier tried to drive away the dog from the tree but it barked back at her. She ran and the dog followed behind her.
"MOMMMY!" She screamed loudly but she knew screaming wouldn't help her situation at all.
Navier took a turn and the dog also turned, they ran back to where the hedgehog was, and with no doubt, she climbed the tree. She was like a monkey who was an expert on climbing, her skirt didn't even bother her.
She arrived at where the hedgehog was located. She saw the hedgehog was balled up.
"Oh poor, hedgehog! I feel you! I'm sure that dog is part of an evil association or something, how dare he... or she chase us!" Navier complained while glaring at the dog under her feet. She stuck her tongue out at it and it just wagged its tail and barked at them.
"GO AWAY!" She screamed but the dog did the opposite as it jumped to reach her.
"Ha! Not so tough now, huh? You can't reach me with that height!" She said sharply, obviously annoying the dog.
The dog then stopped and looked in the other direction in confusion. With no indication of anything happening it ran away that made Navier smile in relief.
"Hedgehog we're now free from the hands of the evil dog association! High five- wait no, don't. You're spiky," Navier waited for it to respond but it was just curled up.
"Hedgehog? Are you there? Are you dead?! No hedgehog!" Navier moved closer to it but then motioned her hand in her chest in relief when it slightly moved.
"Don't scare me like that, geez," she gave a slight glare at the hedgehog. She still couldn't touch the animal as it was still scared and its spike was still on alert.
She tried to calm it down by talking to it for 20 minutes, she told the animal about her travels and the beautiful sights she saw. How heart always races whenever she does some travel activities. As she was talking she was swinging her legs, she was enjoying telling it her story.
She glanced at the hedgehog that seemed to be a bit calm now. She looked at her watch and then at the sky.
"I wonder if anyone noticed how serene the sky is today," she softly giggled. Her eyes reflected the cotton candy sky.
Navier's eyes then landed at the park where she was yesterday. When walking to school in the morning she came back to that park to look for her notebook as her mother didn't permit her to look for it that night but to no vain, she couldn't find it.
She pouted as she remembered how she put all her effort into that notebook. But her pouty face was soon replaced by a confused expression.
A tall tanned girl with straight black hair to the length of her waist can be spot. She was wearing a green crop top and a white skirt. Her earring was also big and her lips were red, her makeup was superb as if it was done by a professional. People were looking at her as if she was an artist but it seems like she doesn't care about her surroundings at all.
Navier leaned closer and squinted her eyes to see her closer but because of leaning too much, she fell. Luckily the grass caught her back, she was still uninjured.
"I'm-I'm okay!" She cheered but a sudden weight fell off to her head that made her groaned in pain. She picked it up and was surprised to see the baby hedgehog that was now reposed. The hedgehog then crawled into her blazer uniform's pocket.
Navier's school uniform includes a white shirt with sleeves and tie with the school's logo and a black blazer, their skirt was also black. She was also wearing black boots with fur, it was the fur of the sheep that she helped shred at a farm she visited, that information was also written in the notebook, everything is.
"Well then, you're loki having a bad day, first you were trapped by a dog and then you fell off the tree because of me. I'm sorry. But your spikes were loki cool though! Oh, and why are you loki light, is it because you're just a baby? Do you have an owner?"
The hedgehog then got comfy inside her pocket. Navier smiled from its cuteness.
"Well, finders keepers! You're mine now... Umm Loki! Your name is Loki, okay? Okay! Now we need to confirm if my eyesight was right! Let's go meet my friend, Loki!"
She said and ran towards the park, she was still making sure that the hedgehog won't be alarmed and sharpen its spike. She crossed the street and entered the place.
She looked around and was really happy to find her. It was not hard to spot her at all since she was literally standing out, her height helped too. She ran and when she got closer, she stopped.
Navier took a deep breath, to avoid awkwardness and embarrassment.
"X-Xyleen!"
Navier crossed her fingers wishing for the girl to turn.
"Xyleen!" She screamed again and started to walk towards her.
As if time slowed down the girl took a quick yet slow turn to look at the girl calling for her name. Her eyes widened and her mouth left a gap.
The given moment is like the opening bud upon the leaf, the newborn flower inviting the eye to dwell and feel an expanding sense of home and warmth of a friend surround her.
Xyleen, who was feeling alone, empty, disappointed, and tired but just couldn't cry, at that moment her name was suddenly called by a familiar voice, a call she wished she'll hear at that exact moment.
The things she thought would happen happily turned into nightmares.
Her heart finally felt the pain she was trying so hard to block, finally, something good happened after all the nonsense she experience, after landing here. Her emotions suddenly rushed out and caused a rampage inside her.
Xyleen's body moved on its own and ran towards Navier. She hugged her as tight as she can as her bottled-up emotions exploded all at once.
"N-Navi... I- I miss you!"
Navier hugged her back, she could also hear her sniffing.
"I miss you too," Navier calmly said as she tightens her hug. Navier closed her eyes for a brief moment.
"I've been waiting for you, as I promised," Navier smiled that made Xyleen sniffed even more. For seven years they've waited for each other.
"Congratulation Xyleen Hindel Harera for your full recovery. Thank you for fighting for yourself and for us," Navier sincerely said as she continued to pat the back of Xyleen.
"N-Navi, I miss you so much! I wanted to do a lot of things with you, I want to travel with you to repay for the years we haven't seen each other. I really do but... I'm fully cured it's true but I think my fight still isn't."
"I see- huh?" Navier's mind stopped functioning for a minute.
"What? Huh? Xyleen... You know I'm an idiot. Explain please..."
They escaped from each other's embrace. Xyleen's eyes were red and puffy that's where Navier noticed that something was wrong.
They did miss each other but not to the point that they'll look depressed. Xyleen's makeup was now a mess and the bags under her eyes can now be noticeable.
"Xyleen, you're not okay. What's wrong?" Navier carefully asked.
Xyleen cleared her throat and drooped. Navier caught her and she heard her whispered, "My mom and dad are divorced."
Silent took over them. Navier didn't know what to react as she was also shocked by the sudden news. The only news she acknowledged was that Xyleen arrived here and is fully recovered.
"Am I listening or problem-solving?"
"This is my fight but please I need someone to just listen... I know I was wrong."
"Let's sit down and I'll listen, shall we?" Navier checked her and held her shoulders. She pushed Xyleen to a bench near a tree and they sat there. People aren't passing by much since it was at the corner of the park.
After sitting no one talked. They were just looking up breathing the fresh air that was flying by. Xyleen also started to wipe off her makeup, her bare face was now exposed and her facial features are outstanding, she was really a beauty.
"I had a fight with my mom last night and it came to a point where we were attacking and hurting each other by words. I was sorry but my anger really got the most of me," Xyleen started.
"I got angry because they had a divorce years ago but I just only knew yesterday night. I'm their daughter, why didn't they inform me?" Xyleen started to get emotional once again.
"I understand that they're just worried about my health since I was still not fully cured but I still had the right to know."
"I never ever imagined my family breaking apart. For all 15 years of my life, I thought I was really lucky since the kids that I mostly interacted with at the hospital have broken family and mine was fine... I was grateful."
"You know, It's really hard, it's like there's a big ball of emotions that's pulling me down," Xyleen's voice cracked and tears were forming in her eyes.
"I guess things really change. The love my parents have for each other changed too. I hated feeling like this, I hate feeling hopeless. I felt hopeless before too when I couldn't play with the other kids and when the operation was about to start. I'm scared, confused, angry, I'm feeling a lot of emotions that I don't know what I'm feeling anymore."
"I want inner peace. I'm overthinking things and it's just hurting me more. The thought of me living away from a least one of them hurts. I have been thinking about a lot of things, even some unnecessary things and it's the worst. My chest feels so heavy and suffocating."
"I just finished fighting cancer, can't I at least stop struggling for a moment and enjoy life for at least a while?" She bit her lips and her exhaustion was now crystal clear on her face.
"When the memories of my father and mother holding my hands and comforting me while I'm at the hospital bed emerge, I feel sad. We were laughing like nothing else matters and we just need to focus on each other because we're family. It was one of the most precious moments I'm treasuring and thinking of whenever I'm afraid," Xyleen was trying hard to not cry.
"After the hurricanes, the sunbeams returns, and crying is much the same, so let it out, let it all out. Don't block it, sadness is a part of being human, it's called human emotions and everyone can feel that way," Navier embraced her, tears were also forming in her eyes. Seeing someone you love and missed will also really affect you.
"I was angry at my mother that I told and yelled so many bad things to her, things just got heated up," Xyleen cried.
"You're the worst mother I could ever have! How could you set aside your daughter's feelings just like that?!"
"DON'T YOU DARE YELL AT ME LIKE THAT!"
"How can I not? Can I not be angry too?! Are you restricting my feelings now too?!"
"Xyleen!"
"What?! You lied to me for a whole fucking year! I didn't know a thing! Did you not think about how I would feel?!"
"Then think of my feelings as well Xyleen! Think of your parents' feelings as well! Do you want us to keep pretending and force our love on each other?! To pretend that we're happy?! If you can't do that then you might as well call yourself a worthless child!"
'Worthless child'
'Worthless child'
'Worthless child'
"I'm sorry then, I'm sorry for being selfish but what you did to me was more selfish. I thought everything was fine, but that was not it at all... Because you're a liar!" Xyleen shouted as she shut the door as loud as she can.
"It was an early morning, she cooked food for me, she tried to talk to me but I didn't listen. Instead, I made her cry, I saw it before leaving, tears were flowing down her eyes," Xyleen cried on Navier's shoulder.
"I can't put up with the pain but seeing my mother cry because of me hurts me even more," Xyleen bawled.
They stayed in that position for a while before Xyleen wiped her tears and blew on the tissues.
"So, what do you plan to do?" Navier said as she passed a tissue to her while still comforting her.
"I'm going home, I'm going to say sorry. I don't want to lose my mom," Xyleen whispered as her voice was tired already.
"Alright, I'll take you home then," Navier smiled at her. Xyleen sincerely smiled back.
"I can't let you go home alone feeling weak like this," Navier said.
"Alright, thank you. I need to talk to mom as soon as possible too."
******
I messed up tonight, I lost another fight. Lost to myself, but I'll just start again~
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