As I regaled my story, our car reached the highway. Bella listened to my words without interrupting, but the more I told her, the more mortified her expression became.
"So, dear, just to be clear, you are about to meet a potential madwoman, without knowing even her name, on a misguided assumption she will, for no particular reason, help you?" When she phrased it in this way, it certainly didn't sound like a good idea.
"Well, it's a safer gamble than the other one I have. With this one, only my life is at stake, so nothing important," I deflected her words.
"The fuck do you mean by that, dear?" Bella exploded.
"There is a person I want to disappear, you remember, right? Doing it myself, without sufficient backing, is a death sentence. And not only for me, either," I explained. "This woman can make it happen. Worse comes to worst, I will use this diary as a bargaining chip in exchange for his life. Even if I will need to forfeit my own as well."
"You don't make any fucking sense, dear." Seems like my words weren't enough to placate my special woman.
"No idea, makes perfect sense to me. In a best-case scenario, this person is who I think it is, so it will be a win-win one way or another. In the worst-case scenario, I will die either way, whatever I do," I said.
"Why are you so hell-bent on doing this anyway?" another weird question.
"Because I am afraid, my dear. With every passing day that this bastard wastes oxygen, there is a chance that you will somehow learn about his identity. Then, knowing your shitty temper, you will do something stupid. Which will lead to your death." I was trying to keep the tone of my voice level, even though my blood was slowly starting to boil. "I lived five years in a Bella-less world, and that's something that I refuse to let happen again. Whatever it takes."
"Did you already forget about my words from earlier, dear?" Her tone was dry.
"I cannot change this decision, Bella. Too much at stake." I shook my head.
"Well, if you fail. Don't hurry into the afterlife too fast. Wait for me, I will go right after you." What the fuck? "I refuse to lose my family again. You won't be alone in this decision, either. So, do your best, dear."
***
The heavy talk led to an even heavier silence. Our car moved closer and closer to the city line, hurrying along other vehicles on the highway.
My brain worked in overdrive, calculating the best course of action. Ignoring the actual meeting, there was another hurdle first. I needed Su to pass my message along. Then there was a second hurdle, the message must be important enough to catch the attention of that person. So, I kept re-reading the important parts of the diary, looking for the pieces of info I could use.
"Dear," Bella called me. "I don't think there is a way to salvage our date at this point, so there is a place I want to visit. You are coming with me, obviously."
"Of course, dear," I played along with her demands. "Where is that place exactly?"
"The place of our first meeting, dear," she answered. "I will tell my brother about his brother-in-law being a stubborn idiot."
"Hm, I suppose it's time to complain to my father about my luck with women, then. His daughter-in-law, for example, is a helluva pain-in-the-ass," I responded in kind.
***
Sunday evening, around seven in the afternoon, cemetery. I stood there and watched quietly, as Bella kneeled on the ground and cleaned the tombstone, placed offerings before it, and fell into a silent prayer.
'Here lies Miguel Alvarez, dear brother' written in both English and Spanish. Dates. A small photo of a smiling youth, which really did somewhat resemble the younger me. As I aged, we grew apart in the looks department more and more, though.
I kept my silence, not quite feeling comfortable to join Bella, but at the same time, a part of me wanted to. Huh. I was never superstitious, but, considering my current situation, I couldn't deny the existence of the forces beyond. And so…
Hey, brother-in-law, I apologize for my selfish words, but, thank you for giving me the chance to meet your sister. She is truly special to me. Last time, I failed my duty to protect her, but it won't happen again. I swear.
A gust of wind blew all of a sudden, as if accepting my oath. Ha, as if. Switching my mind to something more productive, I resumed planning for the immediate future.
***
Some time later, shoulder to shoulder, Bella and I were walking through the same cemetery towards another tombstone. I felt really mixed about this part, yet, somehow, it felt important to do.
***
I had never seen eye to eye with the guy responsible for my birth. We were too alike to peacefully coexist, I guess. And I blame a lot of my initial misconduct on him, even if I couldn't blame it all.
Honestly, he was a scum, even if not quite like me. Huh, hard to say who was worse. The beast like me, or a sleazebag marriage con artist like him. Long Chen, young master of the illustrious Long clan, scamming women into marriage for money. Oh, that would've been one hell of a great newspaper title.
As long as I could remember myself, every half-year to a year and a half, we moved to the new house, with a new woman who asked me to call her mom. At some point, I just stopped trying to distinguish between them altogether. Why bother?
Until, one day, he just died. No idea if it was an illness, someone from his victim list poisoning him, or maybe it was a clan business. Perhaps something else entirely. I didn't know, and, honestly, didn't care. Good riddance.
At the time, I was thirteen-fourteen? Possibly fifteen? Somewhere in that ballpark. And, wandering off at some point through the ceremony, I met Bella for the first time in my life. I guess, there is something I should be thankful to my father for in the end.
***
Bella, abruptly stopping in her tracks, got me out of my memory trip. Hm, did something happen? I braced myself, slipping instantly into a professional mindset, analyzing the vectors of the attack and retreat, searching for the enemy, to make sure that my body would serve as a shield for my special woman.
Except there was nobody like that in the vicinity. Trying to understand what happened, I traced Bella's gaze, which led me to the general vicinity of our destination. One glance towards it later, another moment for my brain to receive and interpret the visuals, and I felt another headache.
Ah, it all made sense now: the message from an unknown number, the second plastic card in my wallet, every instance of me feeling like I forgot something.
To no one's surprise, as usual with things in my life, it was another woman. The chin-length bob-cut of brown hair, standing a bit shorter than both Olivia and Bella, while rivaling the latter in terms of body proportions. Tight-fitting, long, flamboyant red dress with floral ornament, cut on one side all the way to her upper thigh, showing off her long leg clad in the black stockings with a complex pattern, red high-heels in tone with the dress.
The last, and best, woman my bastard father managed to con. Nicole Roah. The person that, at some point, occupied a place in my mind that was comparable to Bella. And someone who I forced myself to forget about. She gave up on me at my lowest point. Even if, later, I learned that there was more to it than meets the eyes.