Kapitel 2: Chapter Two
The next few weeks were a special kind of mental hell, though the pack sympathized with me and my situation none dared offend their alpha. A Luna only held the power given by their male counterpart, some could run an entire pack with their authority and some like me were ornamental at best. Power boosters to their mates. I was forbidden from making any kind of connections, personal or business. My title as Luna was entirely a joke. Even though I poured years of effort into making the pack thrive all my ideas and business plans were passed off as Victor's. It killed me to be seen as a thing but I held no power. I held no value as an individual, no place in the pack.
The stress was becoming too much,I became be bedridden for days. That was when the final sliver of a thread of feeling for the pack dissipated. I nursed myself with herbal medicines my grandfather taught me and some careful self cultivation.
I was efficient though a sliver of me still hoped anyone would show me kindness though I was not surprised how quickly they doted on Natalia instead. While I was bedridden and alone, wishing for death, she has already officially moved into Victor's chambers. She had gotten all the love and adoration that I needed, she was worshipped so blatantly I thought I had already been casted out. The only person who had even a seed of respect for me was the beta, Nikolai. It may have been because his position was solid so he didn't fear Victor or the fact he was raised with decency but Nikolai was the only one who showed me any compassion. He provided the herbs, some food and would on rare occasions converse with me. He shared nothing about what my husband was doing and mostly managed basic small talk but it was more than the others.
Nikolai came to me the very night I recovered with a pained look in his eyes. He was one of the only ones who knew my devotion to Victor and the efforts I have to make the pack thrive so he took no pleasure as he came in Victor's command. "My Luna" his voice hesitant,"I bring a command from the Alpha." He let it sink in, flinching as I cracked the wooden hair brush in my hand before nodding him to continue. "He commands you too escort Natalia for the Blue Moon Gala."
I thought I had come numb to the mockery but this was priceless. The Blue Moon Gala was a yearly occurrence where Alpha's mingled with each other, they brought their Luna's and their Beta's to keep it small though a Luna could bring a guest. I never brought anyone though I had tried in the past but he wanted me to use my Luna privilege for his mistress?! I couldn't contain the stinging tears as I laughed hysterically. He really had no shame. "Surely he's not so stupid as to all that of me, tell me it was a bad joke Nik." I took his solemn face as my answer. I wanted to curse, to break things, to soft and just let it all go but I suddenly found myself void. I smiled emptily at Nikolai. "Tell him, I'd be honored."
Nikolai wanted to comfort me but he had nothing to say. "Yes my Luna." He left quickly leaving me alone to formulate a grand plan.
I knew I couldn't stand living here any longer, I had no qualms about leaving the pack and I knew if anything the pain from breaking the mated bond between Victor and I would only be blissful at this point, however, I also knew he'd never let me go. Victor always had an obsessive, fierce, desire to make me miserable. Perhaps his bond was twisted and he thought controlling me and locking me away was love but I couldn't stand it any longer. I could break the bone and run but I knew him well enough that'd whatever awaited me when he caught me would a thousand times worse. I needed a safe house. If I could sell asylum and then break the bond than he couldn't kill me. I could take the humiliation of being a runaway Luna if it meant leaving this existence behind.
I laid on my bed looking up at the cracked ceiling. I wracked my brain trying to find the best safe house. Severing the bond was supposedly equivalent to tearing ones own heart out, many had died just from rejection but to end a bond years later was deadly. I would possibly be weak and disoriented, I needed an ally but the packs I had any ties to from before my marriage I hadn't heard from in years. I suspected it was Victors doing but I had no proof. I felt hopeless as the chances seemed to dwindle down to nearly impossible. I couldn't give up though, as the searing pain from their infidelity struck me, I knew I couldn't live like this anymore. I shifted into my beastial form, I knew Victor wouldn't notice my escape as he fully occupied with his love.
I seized the silence of the pack house and leapt from my balcony. I was on the third floor, perhaps he thought it was a deterrent, but in this moment it felt so freeing. The wind through my silver fur felt cold sand breezy, the feel of the cold grass on my paws sent a tingle down my spine. How long has it been since I was free like this? Victor had forbad my shift when we officially married. Seven years since I could roam outside like this. I wanted to howl out to the world but I had to be silent. I crept into the forest, taking it show as I gathered the energy of the earth in my paws. It was therapeutic to be a wolf sometimes. A wolf didn't have the complicated issues of humanity, no desire for more than what was enough. I trotted through the damp forest joyously, taking in every sight, sound and smell until I found myself at a waterfall located at the edge of the pack. This was a watering hole,a neutral place anyone could exist. They were put popular with unmated wolves during the day but rarely used at night. I wandered around it to ensure I was alone before taking a dive into the revitalizing cold springs.
I let myself sink into the dark water, it reminded me of the starry sky as shimmers of dust reflected with moonlight against the dark blue depths. I wanted to sink into it forever but found myself suddenly pulled out and dragged into land. It all happened so suddenly, my reflexes we rusty but I managed to scramble to my feet and take a defensive stance. Though it seemed unwarranted as the stranger stared at me indifferently before taking a drink of the springs. It was a large black wolf with piercing jasper eyes, he had an authoritative air about him though his position seemed ambiguous. He simply sat there looking at me before meandering off. I was surprised and intrigued, before I knew it I was following him.
The wolf seemed not to care as he kept a steady pace. It felt like he was losing my somewhere. My suspicious were verified when he laid in a meadow of dandelions looking at me expectantly. I couldn't explain it but my body moved on it's own. For some reason I didn't feel scared, cautious or even a shred of negativity with this complete stranger, in fact I felt serene. He had a different scent than my mate, it was earthy and vibrant with a hint of tantalizing spice. Perhaps things were always like this as wolves. Maybe when I left is give up my humanity and live like this. Wild and free. We laid in silence together until I fell asleep. For the first time I actually slept, so well I hadn't noticed he brought me to the edge of my pack. Luckily I woke before anyone saw me but the memory of those deep jasper eyes never left my mind as I laid in my bed. It felt so unforgettable compared to that meadow, maybe we'll see each other again some day. I thought hopefully as I closed my weary eyes.
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein