Kapitel 16: Chapter 13: Purpose
A/N: Kyrah and Cheonma welcome to patreon!
What's up bruvs! I'm back! My exams finished today!
Chapter 23 on p.a.t.r.e.o.n at the moment.
Join today: p.a.t.r.e.o.n/MyMumCallsMePig
__________
(Haku POV)
I don't know how long it has been. Time feels strange now. But I know I have to bury her. I have to bury my mother.
The ground is cold, just like my hands. I dig and dig, my small fingers aching. My tears mix with the dirt.
Sukuna stands nearby, not saying anything, just watching. I don't understand him. Why did he save me? Why is he here?
"Why are you helping me?" I ask, my voice trembling.
He shrugs, his expression still unreadable. "Maybe I just felt like it," he says, as if it doesn't matter.
I sniffle and continue digging. The hole isn't very big, but it's enough. It's all I can do.
When it's done, I gently lay my mother in the ground. I cover her with the dirt, my heart breaking with each handful.
"I'm sorry, Mother," I whisper. "I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't know..."
Sukuna finally steps closer. "You're strong, kid," he says. "Stronger than most."
I don't feel strong. I feel broken. But I nod. What else can I do?
"Come on," Sukuna says. "It's time to go."
I take one last look at the grave, then follow him. I don't know where we're going, but I have no one else.
I have to trust him. I have to survive.
As we walk away from the grave, the weight of everything that has happened crashes down on me.
Each step feels heavier, my chest tight with guilt and sorrow. I glance at Sukuna, his tall frame leading the way with a casual air, as if the horrors of the night don't touch him.
But for me, they do. They claw at my heart, whispering terrible truths.
"It's my fault," I mumble, more to myself than to Sukuna. The words echo in my head, growing louder. "It's all my fault."
We stop by a river. The water rushes by, uncaring, and I stare into its depths, thinking how easy it would be to let it take me. My vision blurs with tears, and I step closer to the edge, my toes curling over the muddy bank.
"I should just... I should just go with them," I say, my voice rising in pitch. "I should be dead too! I brought this on us!"
My breathing becomes ragged.
I start to hyperventilate, panic surging through me. My hands claw at my hair, my chest heaving. I stumble, almost falling into the water, but Sukuna's strong hand grabs me by the collar, pulling me back with a force that sends me sprawling on the ground.
"Calm down," he says, his tone surprisingly gentle but firm.
"No! No, you don't understand!" I scream, flailing against him. "I killed her! I killed my mother! It's all because of me!"
Sukuna doesn't let go, his grip like iron. "Listen to me, Haku," he says, his voice cutting through my hysteria. "This isn't what your mother would have wanted."
His words make me pause, my struggles weakening. "What?" I whisper, tears streaming down my face.
"Your mother loved you," Sukuna says, his expression serious. "She wanted you to live. To run and survive. She gave her life for that. Don't you dare waste it."
"But... but I can't..." I sob, collapsing into myself. "I can't go on. I have no reason."
Sukuna kneels beside me, his presence grounding. "Then find one," he says simply.
I look up at him, confused and desperate. "How? How can I find a reason?"
Sukuna's eyes soften slightly. "You live for a purpose, Haku. You honor her memory by surviving. By becoming strong. You need to find something to strive for, something to keep you going."
I shake my head, still unable to see through the fog of my grief. "I don't know if I can."
"You can," Sukuna insists. "Your mother saw something in you. A potential. I'm sure of it. Don't let her sacrifice be in vain."
His words start to sink in, and a small flicker of determination ignites within me. I wipe my tears, trying to steady my breathing. "But... you're so strong. You killed those villagers so easily. Is it because you have a purpose?"
Sukuna's expression grows more serious, his gaze intense. "Yes," he says. "Strength comes from having a purpose. A reason to fight, to live. If you have a 'why,' you can endure any 'how.'"
I listen, hanging on his every word. "What's your purpose?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.
"My purpose?" Sukuna looks out at the river, his eyes distant. "It's not something I share easily. But know this, Haku: when you find something worth fighting for, something that fuels your very being, it gives you a strength you never knew you had. It makes you unstoppable."
His words resonate deeply within me, stirring something I can't quite describe. The weight of my guilt doesn't vanish, but it becomes more bearable, like a burden I'm willing to carry for the sake of my mother.
"I want to be strong," I say, my voice gaining a bit of resolve. "I want to find a reason to live, like you said."
Sukuna nods, a faint smile playing on his lips. "Good. That's the first step."
For the first time since the tragedy, I feel a glimmer of hope. It's faint, but it's there. I still don't know what my purpose will be, but I know I need to keep moving forward to find it.
"Thank you," I say, looking up at Sukuna with newfound respect.
He stands up, offering me a hand. "Don't thank me yet. This is just the beginning. The path ahead will be hard, but remember why you're walking it."
I take his hand, feeling a strength in his grip that I hope to one day have. As we continue our journey, the pain in my heart doesn't fade, but it transforms. It becomes a drive, a reminder of what I've lost and what I need to honor.
I will live. I will become strong. For my mother, and for myself.
And maybe one day, I will find my purpose.
I look at him.
Perhaps, I've already found it.
_____
A/N:
I know it's a short one, but there wasn't much more I could write regarding this. I just wanted to show what Haku was going through and also make it a bit motivational for you guys. Who knows? Maybe it's something you need today.
Sometimes, words fail to capture the depth of what someone is experiencing. Something might seem impossible at first, but one little spark can turn into an unstoppable force. I hope this resonates with you and gives you the encouragement you need.
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein