Kapitel 10: Touch Me

Patrons jammed into the bar. Min Jun, Hong Gi, and Luke took turns entertaining the patrons, and the longer the night, the denser the crowd. Most were young women. Of those women, maybe half were Asian. It wasn't every day three members of BEXT played for free at a local bar.

The songs were a mix of old favorites and what Jordan assured Jessie were singles the men had released over the years. Some were in English, while others were in Korean or a mixture of both. No matter what they sang, the crowd went crazy. Jessie couldn't blame them. These guys had a heck of a lot more going from them than looks and charisma. Even when she couldn't understand the words, she got the passion with which they sang.

Once Jackson called in extra help, Jessie finally got a breather. She was on the way back from taking out the trash when a hand shot out and pulled her into the storage room. She wasn't surprised to see it was Min Jun. He let go of her and shut the door.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi."

"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you earlier. I mean about the kissing comment."

"Thanks, but never in front of my kids, okay?"

"I can do that."

They fell into an awkward silence as Jessie remembered the last time they had been in that room. Now there was a distance between them, but then, they couldn't get close enough.

"I should get back to work," she said.

"Yeah, I know."

Neither of them moved until Jessie realized her palms were sweaty. She wiped them on her shorts. The music in the bar ended, and the roar of applause replaced it.

"I've really got to go."

"Don't. Stay with me. At least for a little while." He moved close enough to touch her but didn't.

She wanted him to. Really wanted him to, but she couldn't say it. She couldn't give him false hope because they had no life together, not in any parallel universe.

"Jessie?"

"Yes?"

"Touch me."

Jessie stopped breathing.

"It doesn't have to mean anything. Just like the first time."

Jessie wanted to. She wanted to wrap her legs around him. To finish what she started.

"I can be your one and done, Jessie. Or your one for whenever you want me."

She reached up and tentatively laid her palm on his chest. She felt the beat of his heart, the warmth of his body, the firmness of his muscles.

"I can be whatever you want me to be, Jessie. Anything. All I ask is you touch me like this sometimes. Can you do that for me, Jess?"

Jessie closed her eyes and let out the breath she was holding in a slow, calming stream as she looked into his eyes and saw the truth behind his words. She held his gaze as she ran her hand up to his shoulder and over to his collar. As she cupped his neck, her thumb grazed bare skin below his earlobe, and Min Jun's eyes closed as he leaned into her touch, but nothing else.

By the time he opened his eyes, Jessie had made a decision, one she prayed she wouldn't regret. She raised up on tiptoes, fingers buried in his hair. She loved his hair. So thick and silky. Her lips centimeters from his, she paused, tasting his breath on her lips. And then she had his hair fisted in her grasp, and she urged him to low his head until their lips met in a whisper of a kiss that deepened by degrees until his taste, his scent consumed her. And still Min Jun did not touch her, and it was driving her bat shit crazy.

Her mouth left his. She kissed her way across his jaw to the pulse point on his neck. She pressed her tongue against it and felt his heartbeat race. She fought the urge to mark him as hers. Finding his earlobe, she suckled it, thinking of something significantly more interesting to put in her mouth, but for now, this would do.

Jessie's body was pressed flush to Min Jun's, her arms around his neck, and it was a good thing. If the wet heat in her core burned any hotter, her legs would melt out from under her. If only he would touch her.

She knew he was into her. She had feasted on his rapid pulse, and as close as they were to each other, there was no place for his bulging interest to hide.

His mouth called to her, and she welcomed his tongue into her mouth, somewhat relieved he was at least participating to some degree. But not enough. Never enough. So she decided to up the stakes to see how far she could push him before he gave in. After all, he had gone out of his way to tempt her out of her comfort zone.

Easing out of the deep kiss, she stepped back, breathing heavy and her body aching to resume contact, but it was worth it.

Min Jun was a predator. His passion-filled gaze all but hypnotized her into giving in to her baser instincts. She debated the merits of climbing him like a tree or dragging him down to the floor where she could maintain control.

Slowly, with purpose, she unbuttoned the second button of his shirt, the first one already undone and placed a kiss in the hollow of his throat. He smelled masculine and rich, like a savory meal just waiting for her to consume. She worked the third button loose and ran her tongue down his chest, tasting a hint of salt on his skin. With the following two buttons, she could spread the shirt open a bit so she could appreciate his sculpted physique. Min Jun very much looked as good as he felt.

"How long do you intend to remain hands off?" Jessie asked, her voice thick with need as she finished with his buttons and thought about how good it would feel to be skin against sizzling skin with this man. But how to get him there when his idea of cooperation was non-interference.

"Ask me, Jessie." Jessie's name was saltwater taffy on his lips—sweet and pulled thin—as if he were on the edge of losing control. "Ask me to love you."

Jessie wasn't ready to ask. It was already beyond anything she had done before. With David, he had always instigated the sex. Well, not always. She remembered one Valentine's Day when she dressed in a sheer red baby doll with the intent of surprising him at the door. He had told her to put some clothes on and wandered off to watch basketball. That was before the ravages of time and childbirth had metamorphized her body from a nubile young adult into a soccer mom. Would Min Jun feel the same?

The thought was enough to drain the courage that had gotten her this far. She tried to shake it off and finish what she had started, but she froze for sure she came across as a virgin girl floundering around the males while trying to pass herself off as a seductress. And Min Jun must have been with many women more skilled than Jessie.

"Jessie, what is it?"

All she could do was stare at his bare chest and shake her head. Tears welled unbidden to her eyes, disappointment in herself shooting shame through her veins. If she wasn't good enough for someone as ordinary as David, there was no way she could be good enough for a rockstar. No matter how good he felt to her touch. She had been right the first time. This thing between them couldn't happen.

"Aw, Jessie." Min Jun encased her in his arms and pulled her to him. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what I did wrong, but I'm so sorry. Tell me, please, so I can make it better."

Jessie couldn't speak, couldn't dare share the thoughts going through her head. She remembered how David would call her a tease any time she so much as kissed him and didn't want to take it further. Now she was doing the same thing to Min Jun, but he apologized like it was his fault.

"Anything, Jessie, don't cry. I thought you were into it. I mean, after I pushed you so far, giving you the power, and you took the lead like it was a turn on."

"It was," Jessie told his chest, afraid to let go lest she run from the room and run until her lungs burst.

"Then what happened? Was it because I stood there instead of touching you? Did you think I wasn't enjoying it? Because that isn't the case. It took everything I had not to touch you to return every caress with one of my own. You are the hottest woman I've ever met."

He stroked her hair and held her while she tried to wrap her head around his words. Could he really be telling the truth? Was he enjoying it as much as her?"

She held onto him tighter, knowing he deserved an answer but not sure how much she was willing to tell, to reveal about herself.

He kissed her on top of the head. As if reading her thoughts, he said, "You don't have to say anything right now, but someday soon, I hope you do. I want to know everything about you, sweet Jessie, everything, every inch of your body, every minute of your past, and everything thought going through that beautiful, complicated head of yours."

Jessie opened her eyes to the stare of purple eyes and periwinkle hair. Luke had his head cocked to the side and examined her from where he stood behind Min Jun and peered around him at her.

"Hyung, she is nothing special," Luke announced.

Jessie tried to pull away, but MJ shifted her away from Luke and kept an arm around her shoulders while smacking Luck on the back of the head with his free hand.

"Ow," Luke whined as he ducked away from MJ's reach.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Min Jun growled.

"Why do you waste your time with this ahjumma—this old woman? You could have any woman here."

"I don't want another woman. Jessie is the woman for me."

Luke's face screwed up, and he waved a hand as if smelling something terrible. "She's like day-old fish, hyeong. You deserve something fresh and healthy."

Min Jun snapped. "Hey, you will treat her with respect. Not only is she your elder, but she's also important to me. If I am your hyung, then she is your dongseo. You will treat her as an honored sister-in-law, or you can go back to Korea right now. Understand me?"

A tap on the door interrupted them. Hong Gi opened the door and poked his head instead. "Hyung, if you are done making out with your woman, I'm ready to go home. I have to tank a raid in about an hour. I need to set up."

"No, but you can take your idiot brother with you," Min Jun gave Luke a shove toward Hong Gi. "If you value his life, I'd keep him away from me for a while."

Hong grabbed Luke by the sleeve. "What did he do now?"

"Besides interrupting us?"

"Yeah, besides that?"

"Disrepecting Jessie. I won't tolerate it. Not from him. Not from anyone."

Hong Gi sighed. "I'll talk to him. He doesn't understand things like love."

"You don't either," Luke said.

"I love you, don't I?"

"I don't count."

MJ spoke up. "Boys, take it outside."

Hong Gi smacked Luke on the back of the head and dragged him out, closing the door after him.