"Ha! Right," I said, even a bit rudely. "I'm not taking it. Seven miles there, seven miles back. Carry it yourself! And why do you even need it? It's summer, it's hot outside."
"Oh, my dear, you'll regret that." The old woman grinned menacingly at me, and I saw teeth that were young and sharp as needles.
I'd have gotten to her hut all right, but that would probably have been the end of the road, I thought.
"Go ahead, old lady, speak your mind," I said, casually placing my hand on my mace. "I have ways of settling disagreements, too."
The grin on her face was replaced by a glower she aimed at me before laughing and lightly flipped the brushwood up over her shoulder. I got one last threatening look.
"No worries, sonny boy. We'll see each other again. You can be sure of that!"
She melted into the bushes on the side of the road with a speed and sprightliness that surprised me.
"Wow. That's one way to spice things up!" I said and kept walking.
My trip would have continued as smoothly and, if not pleasantly, at least as harmlessly as before, except that an alert suddenly popped up.
Attention. Euikh, a player you blacklisted, is nearby.
Oh boy, an old friend! Not the best time for him, though.
I sprang from the road into the bushes and was about to sprint into the forest when I heard voices. "He's here; find him! Probably in the forest somewhere."
Running would have made too much noise, so I lay still in the bushes.
"Come out, come out wherever you are!" My toothy friend called me. "There are three of us, and we won't stop looking until we find you. You didn't have time to get away, so that means you're still here. Come out and die like a man! I can't promise you it'll be quick, but at least we'll make it simple. If you make us find you, it'll be long and humiliating. And painful."
I weighed my chances and concluded that I was up a creek without a paddle. They'd find me, of that I was sure. And if I ran, a-hundred-to-one they'd find me—ores can run for days. On the other hand, I was now in a clan, though the ores didn't know that. Everyone said that, Pkers and especially lower-level ones, stay away from clan members. Maybe these guys wouldn't be anxious to risk the reaction they'd get? If they were willing to risk it, well, there wasn't much I could do. It was just a shame I'd lose my gold and silver—and Reineke's gift. He'd given it to me from the heart. Happily, I wouldn't lose the sword or the dead knight's amulet. And if 1 died, Reineke would be the first person I'd tell. I didn't think he'd take kindly to some ugly green mugs making off with his gift.
I crawled out of the bushes and stood up. The ores looked at me with tender, anticipatory grins, the way cats look at birds with clipped wings.
"Hello there, gentlemen," I said, smiling back at them.
"It's like we never even left each other!"
"You've been levelling-up." vuiikh approvingly nodded his head. "Nice work! Oh, and you even joined a clan! Look at you."
"Yes, and I should warn you that I'm under my clan's protection!"
"Sure, though that won't help you much way out here." vuiikh's voice was quiet. "Go join whatever clan you want, the best and strongest out there. We'll still squash you like a bug."
"What did I ever do to you?"
"You were rude. I don't like rude people. You went too far, and you made us mad."
"What, and you aren't rude?" I already knew I was a dead man walking. I knew my gold and equipment were gone. And I knew I'd spent the whole day walking for nothing. Just then, however, a daring idea popped into my head, and I decided to do what I could to make their lives just as interesting as they were going to make mine. Without further ado, I put thought into action. "Take what you said just now, for instance..."
I quickly turned on my online camera and set it to record.
"What do you mean?" vuiikh asked with a snarl.
"All that you were saying about the clans, what if you said that to someone from—oh, I don't know-the Hounds of Death?"
"Screw all the clans!" His voice rose. "You're going to die regardless, and no one's going to stop us. The Hounds of Death…ha! You seriously think I'm afraid of them? Forget their clan. Screw them! All three of us hate them, and we despise that pig the Gray Witch."
I had apparently struck a nerve. His whole rant had been recorded, so I knew I would at least be avenged.
"And I've had your Thunderbirds roasting on a spit! Oh, and-"
"Who did you have roasting on a what?" A voice boomed out from the bushes on the right side of the road, and two dwarves crashed out of the bushes in our direction. From the badges above their heads, I could tell that their names were Rone and Dorn, they were Level 40 and 42, respectively, and…
I could have jumped for joy when I saw that they were Thunderbirds, too.
"Hey, you green idiot, let me ask you again. Who did you have roasting? Our clan?" Dorn looked less than thrilled.
"Don't worry, volunteer, we'll do this the right way." Rone came over and clapped me on the shoulder.
"How did you get them so riled up?"
"The last time they killed me, I might have suggested that they prefer big cow horns to the opposite gender—or even little cow horns." I looked at my feet as I said it.
The dwarves laughed uproariously.
"Yep, that's ores all right. These guys sound like fun.
Hey, stand right there!" Dorn barked at one of the PKers, who edged toward the side of the road, obviously getting
ready to make a break for it. "I said we'll do this the right way. I'll take the left one, Rone will take the one on the right. You, little one, will fight their leader, it looks like. That way it's fair. He's a few levels higher than you, but That doesn't mean anything, believe me. You have good armor, and you're angry, so I'm sure you can take him. Whoever wins, walks away with their opponent's loot."
"Ha, right. I'll kill this rat, and then the two of you will jump me." The ore was having none of it.
"Don't pretend that dwarves have the same code of honor you ores have," said Rone in an even voice. "If we say you'll walk away, then that's what will happen."
"And you don't have much of a choice," Dorn added.
"You'll die later for what you said about our clan, and probably more than once. Yeah, don't think I won't tell them. But for now, you have the chance to get away from this alive, providing you can kill one of us. But if that doesn't work for you, my friend and I would be happy to just deal with the three of you ourselves."
"Walk away from you.." An ore with the appropriate name of Grim hissed his dissatisfaction. "Level 50, and covered in iron."
"What, you thought this was going to be easy?" Dorn chuckled, and Rone nodded his head in agreement. "Enough. It's time to answer for your crimes!" The dwarves smoothly and in tandem pulled out the battle axes they had strapped to their backs.
I whipped out my mace as well, before bracing my shield and staring down vuiikh. Now at least, it wouldn't be so frustrating to die. Although, it wouldn't have been that frustrating if the plan I'd cooked up had worked either.
"I'm going to tear you limb from limb," the ore said.
He licked his lips.
Oh great, this one's crazy, too, I thought. With a penchant for cannibalism. How do they always find me? On the other hand, maybe I can use that.
"Why are you looking at me like that? I don't swing that way," I said. "Besides, I thought you were into animals?"
My crude trick worked. Eurikh howled like a wild animal from deep in the forest, threw his shield aside, and leaped at me. His scimitar, which he held with two hands in an apparent attempt to land a stronger blow, flashed through the air.
He leaped without any attempt to disguise it, so I simply ducked to the left, and a second later buried my mace in his back. Euikh spun around, and for a second, I caught his eye. The guy was out of his mind. He aimed his next blow at my side, and I caught it with my shield, but before I could deflect it away, I felt him throw his whole weight behind his blade. He was a good bit taller than me, and the six-level difference between us was significant.
I could tell it was a matter of time before he broke through my defence.
"Get down!" I heard Dorn's voice chime in.
~ ~ ~