Kapitel 1: You Think This is Funny?

I was walking across the street from the gaming lounge I had just visited when I suddenly hear a booming roar overhead.

People are screaming and heading back inside to get to safety. Even people in their cars were getting out of them and running inside any of the buildings near them.

Meanwhile, my dumbass decided to stay and watch the falling space debris. Behind the space debris is a giant of a mothership.

This looked straight from the movie Independence Day: Resurgence.

All of the junk from space just started falling toward the surface.

There was no warning. No scanning. No data to tell us when it appeared. It just did. One minute, it was just an empty sky. The next is SPACESHIP.

Untold damage was caused by this abrupt appearance. You don't even need to think about it. Just looking at the size of this thing that takes up half of the skyline. Glass was falling from buildings while also raining small junks of debris.

'What the f*ck are you standing around for? Get to cover!!!' I tell myself but it was too late.

Something on fire was about 10m away and heading straight for me. Knowing my end was near, I prayed to God I wouldn't be sent to hell.

I gave money to the people in Africa and fed the children. Gave food to the homeless.

I gave money to save those helpless and abused pets I saw in the ASPCA commercials. I'm as good as they came.

Right?

My phone rings in my pocket but I ignore it.

Closing my eyes, I feel the surroundings heat up due to the flaming object.

Suddenly, pain of all pains hits me so fast I thought I imagined it. That is until I feel the burn.

I can't move my body because I am pinned to the ground underneath the burning heavy space debris.

And that is when I scream. I scream and scream until I couldn't scream anymore. It felt like hours but I might have had my vocal cords burned also. So, who knows? It's a possibility.

I could see through the opening of debris people watching and hearing in horror as I'm being burned alive. Something shiny catches my eye. I look up to see some sort of reflective panel.

'Damnit. I'm dying to a damned satellite? Am I that unlucky? God, did you send a satellite my way? I wished to die in glory, not by satellite. I'll be known as the unluckiest guy in history.'

I can hear people scrambling around me now, trying to get the rubble off of me but it's too late. I'm already dying. I can feel the strength streaming its way out of my body. With my vision swaying, my last thoughts were…

'I didn't even get to finish God of War: Ragnarok.'

***

(General POV)

In a world of all white, a kid could be seen laughing hysterically at something from a screen projected in thin air.

This continues until he finally gets a grip and calms himself. He wipes the tears from his eyes still chuckling.

"That's the funniest thing of ever seen since mother confined me to this damned world."

"Sigh, death by burning satellite. How unluck— no, how lucky is this guy? Freak accidentees always get extra karma points. Who will be the lucky god to encounter him?"

In the next instant, the young kid hears a presence in the world he's on screaming in agony.

He turns around and finds the same soul he had just watched lying on the ground rolling and screaming as though he's still burning.

This sparks another bout of laughter from this young kid. Somehow, he manages to shake the world of white with his laughter.

Soon, the sound of screaming is reduced to nothing as the being screaming looks around confused.

Looking up, he sees a little kid floating in the air, laughing and pointing at him.

'Huh? Is he laughing at me? This guy is laughing at me!'

Anger wells up inside the soul. Does a kid dare to laugh at his agony?

"Eh? Who the f*ck is laughing? Do you think this is funny? My hands are itchy. Come down here so I can teach you, kid, a lesson!!"

The soul says angrily.

The floating kid, however, stops laughing but his cheeks are puffed out from trying to hold in laughter.

"How the f*ck can you laugh at someone who's obviously in extreme pain? Are you a damn sadist? Let me know so I can tell your parents what's psycho they've raised."

Somehow the floating kid manages to stifle his laughter and get serious.

"Alright, enough playtime. I'll get serious. I am what you call a ROB. And you somehow made it here to my realm. Out of the thousands of other Eternal Gods, you got sent here to a Primal God.

I am so going to put our meeting on GodTube" The kid then proceeds to pull out a camera already connected to a stand, hit record, and then face it back to the soul.

"What the hell are you even talking about Eternal Gods and Primal Gods? What the hell even is that? And are you the one sending me to heaven? Hell isn't even for me, my dude" the young soul replies in confusion.

"Listen, kid. That's way above your pay grade. Anyways, you've read the books. You died and are now meeting me. Though I'm not omnipotent, I am pretty close. Two ranks below an Eternal. And not that bullsh*t Marvel either.

Now, seeing that your soul's reflex of carrying over the past trauma of your body being burned alive, I managed to release your suffering while enjoying that bit. It's the best entertainment I've had in a long time."

Face palming himself in the face, the soul ignores the last part.

"So, I'm dead and now you're telling me that you're a semi-ROB? Okay, can we proceed with the reincarnation process? I want to go to the Warhammer 40k universe!!"

The soul starts jumping up and down, trying to pull the kid god down but failing nonetheless.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow your roll, kid. We need to check your karmic value first. If you have enough, you may be able to choose a world.

And wait a minute… are you sure you're not an M? WH40k universe? Really? Are you a dumbass or what? That's one of the worst places to be reborn in all the Omniverse."

"Haha. No, you're a sadist and I have a reason. There's a difference. We are not the same. While I want to enjoy the thrill of being in a war, you just laugh at others' pain. Sounds like someone is lonely as f*ck and has no life even though they're a literal GOD" the soul says mockingly.

Turning red, the releases pressure on the soul that causes it to distort and crack while phasing in and out of view. Kneeling on the ground while in pain, the soul looks back defiantly, silently laughing in his mind at how sensitive this young god is.

The young god manages to reign in his anger.

"I am talking to you because I am bored and found good entertainment. I have tolerated your insolence because it was amusing not because I accept it. You will be wise to remember the difference. Now, stay still, and let me check your karmic points."

Taking out a strange device with an antenna on top of it, the young god points it at the soul, and a ray of light shoots and connects with the soul; the light completely covering the entire body.

Then, a beeping sound similar to a scouter rings aloud and signifying that its scans are completed.

"All right. Your scans are complete and I'll display your karmic points in the air now."

After saying that, a holographic screen appears on the air displaying the number: 14,000,605

"WHAAAAAT?!?!" the young god says hysterically.

"How the fuck did you even get that many? You would've had to save millions of human lives, save thousands of pets, feed the homeless, invent the cure to cancer, and stop genocide. Just how?"

"Hahaha, well, you see—" the soul starts to speak but is interrupted by the god.

"Quiet!! Let me review your life and then your future."