Kapitel 24: The Hospital is My Home

She twisted to the left and right for an hour. Unable to fall asleep, she decided to give up and lean back on her pillow instead. Bending her knees close to her chest; she rests her chin on her knee caps.

"Where have I seen him? Let's see...Mm... I got my business card on the spicy bowl night. After that I went home by bus. And then...I came straight here. Mmm.. his voice did seem a bit familiar. Did we talk to each other?" She closed her eyes to try and recall where she could have left her business cards. Maybe she forgot it somewhere, and he picked it up by chance?

"Mm...This is harder than a break up." She murmured as she drew circles using her finger on the blanket.

She released a sound of annoyance when she noticed her phone screen lighting up a few times in a row. Someone had messaged her, and she was not in the mood to reply. Still, if she wanted to mute that person, she would have to pick up her phone and do it through the app.

When the screen lit up three more times, she grunted, "Who??"

All the messages that she had received were from Hawk. Her eyebrows simultaneously slanted inward, and a crease marked the area between her brows. Without clicking into the app, she pulled the notification bar down on her screen to read the messages that he sent.

Hawk: "Are you sure you really want to break up?"

Hawk: "Without me, you'll be a nobody."

Hawk: "Nobody could stand you, but me. Good luck finding another man."

Hawk: "It's your fucking fault that I died in my Tank game."

Hawk: "Argh, now, I can't finish my assignment."

Hawk: "I was so loyal to you, yet you gave up on me. Imbecile!"

Hawk: "What? You don't have the guts to respond back to me?"

There were more aggressive messages that he sent, but she didn't bother reading the rest. Her heart raced and chest tightened. Feeling pressured by his incoming messages, she threw her phone onto the bed and went out for a walk.

She felt like if she continued staying in the same space with that phone, her eyes and fingers would betray her and go into the notification section. Taking a step out of her room, she scanned the empty, dark hallways. It was so quiet since most patients were already asleep. Therefore, she made little to no sounds as she walked at a slow pace to clear her mind.

As she walked, she thought about the times where Hawk had given her negative vibes. "Seems like he had brainwashed me with his abusive behavior. I should feel relieved I got out of this relationship. From pointing out every pimple on my face to telling me that I'm ugly. How did I not realize this sooner?"

Her body stiffened. Her hand reached to her chest, wrinkling the shirt. Stressing out once again, she tried to take deep breaths and settle down on one of the seats of the bench. She tried to control the pressure she felt, but the more she fought it, the worse she became. Tears flowed down her face, leaving traces of wet stains behind.

When she felt the most helpless, she heard his voice again. Lin Que had just finished his shift and remembered hearing her complain about being afraid at night. He decided to check to see if she was asleep before he left to go home.

Seeing the empty bed with her left behind cellphone, he started roaming through the hallways to look for her. Finally, he saw her sitting on the bench from the other end of the hall. He walked slowly until he realized something was amiss.

Her head was lowered and hand seemed to be clenching against her chest. Afraid that she was having some kind of problem, he rushed to her side to see what was wrong. "Lily," he called out her name as he kneeled down to meet her at eye level.

Placing his palm on her forehead, he checked her temperature. "No fever. Where does it feel bad?" The cries that she tried to hold back fell the instant she heard his inquiry.

"My heart hurts. Is there any medicine for that?" Her stuttered words and rasped voice made him pat her back impulsively. He stood up and said, "I don't know what is wrong, but if you ever feel like talking about it..I will listen. Come, I'll bring you back to your room."

She was having a panic attack and her emotions were splattered everywhere. He wasn't sure what he could do to make her cries reduce, so he stood still and waited for her to be ready to walk. In the middle of patting her back, her arms wrapped around his waist and head rested against his torso.

Lowering his gaze at the girl in his arms, he adjusted his coat so that nobody could see her crying face. Some nurses stopped at the corner of the hall, but took an alternative route when they saw his index finger against his lips. He hinted for them to not interrupt. Since this section of the hospital was used to store supplies, her cries wouldn't bother any patients.

Wiping her tears away for the second time in front of him, she rapidly released her grip and apologized. "S..Sorry. I didn't.."

"It's fine. Are you feeling better now?" He stroked her back lightly and smiled at her shy reaction.

Tucking strands of her hair to the back of her ears, she nodded and stood up.

"I'll walk you to your room then." On their way back, nobody said a word. He didn't ask her any questions, and she didn't say anything. Under the moonlight, they reached her room where he opened the door and watched her climb back to bed.

"I'll see you later. Good night." He smiled and turned around. His steps halted and body turned back around with his eyes on his hand. Her warm hands were touching his, and she didn't understand why she made this move either.

Waiting patiently for her to say something, he could tell that she was anxious and nervous. As she retracted her hands, he took a seat on the chair by her bedside. "Sleep. I'll stay here until you fall asleep."

"Don't you have to go home?" She widened her eyes as she didn't expect him to go out of his way for her.

"As a doctor, the hospital is considered my second home. Don't worry and rest." He said reassuringly.