Kapitel 45: BE HONEST
(TAEHYUNG'S POV)
I find Jimin laying on my bed, with his blue pyjamas on. It warms my heart, when I left my room to go wash my teeth he wasn't here.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, letting the towel on the chair.
He shrugs. "I want to sleep with you."
My smile drops.
He wants to sleep with me.
He can't. He's going to see what I did to myself. He can't see it.
"But Jiminie. . ." I don't know any excuse. I just stand there, pouting.
"We did it all the time. Are you not comfortable? If you aren't yet, I understand." He says, shifting in a sitting position.
"I do, but. . ." I low my head. I can't tell him I did it again, he's going to be disappointed in me.
Also, if Jimin sleeps with me, he'll see the scars on my arm himself. Everyone can tell it's recent, not like the other ones.
"Come here."
I raise my head at the sound of his voice. He opens his arms.
I hesitate, before laying my back on his chest, feeling how it moves up and down. I try to follow his rhythm.
"Do you feel uncomfortable with me?"
I shake my head. "It's not your fault, Chimmy."
"Don't you want to talk about it?"
I nod, slowly. "But you will get mad."
"Why? Taetae I would never get mad at you."
"I did something bad." I tilt my head to look at him, but he's smiling, gently.
"It can't be that bad, baby. We'll solve it together."
He interlocks our hands and place them on my thighs. I move my fingers against his, slowly. "It's already solved, but you'll still get mad at me."
"You won't know it until you tell me."
"There's nothing to explain, you're going to see it yourself." I sigh.
"What do you mean?" His breath tickles my ears.
I get up, taking off my pants first, followed by the boxers. I hesitate, before taking off my sweatshirt. I feel the cold floor under my feet and I run to the bed, under the blankets.
"Baby bear?" He raises his eyebrows. I think he didn't see anything, yet.
"Promise you won't get mad." I keep my arms under the blankets, pressing the area on my chest.
"I won't."
We both lean on the headboard. I show him my left arm, turning it around. As I see what I did to myself, my eyes start getting wet, though I don't let the tears fall.
He swallows, not moving at all. His eyes are way bigger now and are concentrated only in my delicate arm. After a moment, he brings my arms to his thighs, gently. His eyes roam in my arm and wrist, while his index finger touches the scars.
"When does this happened?" He finally says.
"I'm sorry Jimine. Can you look at me, please?" I gulp, fighting to keep myself together.
He cups my cheeks, his fingers caressing my skin. "Baby, I would never be mad, but worried. You did it because. . .?"
"It hurt too much, I just wanted the pain to go away." I say with a hoarse voice. My throat hurts
"Shh." One hand caresses my hair. "It's okay now, you're okay."
"I thought you left me forever. I thought you didn't love me anymore." He presses my head on his chest and I lay next to him.
"I love you, Taehyung." His heart's beating fast.
"I'm sorry." I repeat. Now my Jimine is worried and it's all my fault.
"You don't have to apologise, Taehyung." He says.
His soft touches make me relax. We stay like this for minutes. I listen to his controlled breath, while his heart recovers his normal pulse. I turn my head to him when his hands stop playing with my head.
"Are you mad?" I frown, he looks better than before.
He shakes his head. "It- It was my fault, not yours. I broke your heart, I did this to you. I- I don't know why I didn't notice it earlier, I-"
"You didn't know it and I forgave you." I cut him. I sit in front of him with my legs crossed. "I'm okay, I promise." I put my hand on top of his.
"Why did you think I would get mad?"
"Because I know you care for me."
"I do."
"And I also care about you."
"I know." He smiles, not showing his teeth.
"I promise I won't do it again." I put the other hand on my chest. "I promise it to you."
He nods, but his expression doesn't show relaxation. "Talk to me, okay? If you don't want to, you can also talk to Hoseok or Yoongi. They'll help you, everyone will help you if you need it."
I nod. "I promise I'm better now. It was only one time, I already regretted it."
"Taehyung, you've to remember that you're the most important person in your life."
"Me? What about you?" I frown. Jimin's the person I love the most.
"I can be the second, but you've to put you first. What you feel matter, Tae. Don't forget it, okay? Don't let your own body take the shit if I'm a jerk, or if ever someone hurts you in a way you could never imagine."
I nod. "I'll never do it for someone else, I'll be okay as long as you're by my side, Chim. You're the person I love the most."
He raises his eyebrows.
"I won't do it neither if the jerk's you."
"Promise."
Because I already did it, I lean on and peck his lips. "This is enough?"
He gives me more short kisses before letting me go. "Yeah, but it will never be enough, actually."
We cuddle in a spoon position, he hugs me from behind. I feel his breath on my neck, tickling all my skin. I grab his hand, kissing it before closing my eyes. Next to him I feel secure and calm. I turn around, hugging his waist and snuggling my head on his chest. He hums in contentment, his hands resting on my waist, as well.
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein