Kapitel 23: Chapter 22
Gakushuu didn't get surprised often. Be it his father or the things the world threw at him.
It wasn't that he could predict it.
It was just that at some point he started to expect the worst.
His family's slow breakdown had taken a lot of his hopes of his new life too. But he hadn't expected a new low.
His father's constant demands to be the best was suffocating. He had tried and tried to live up to his expectations, but the thing was.
Gakushuu wasn't like his father.
He wasn't the genius of the century. He wasn't someone who could look at a person and tell what approach to manipulation or teaching would suit them best. He couldn't be the best by relying on sheer talent.
Gakuhou had put in a lot of work. In fact, he worked an average of 22 hours a day.
Gakushuu had neither the talent nor the dedication. He was always a 'failure' when compared to his father.
And the thing was, Gakushuu constantly did. His father didn't have to always tell him that his grades were terrible, that his marital arts fell behind, that his artistic skills could be better
He knew it.
He could see the veiled threat in Gakuhou's movements now. He could see the strict control he applied to his own body and mind each and every day. He could see his father's dedication.
Gakushuu could barely remember the time when his father was just 'father' anymore instead of something he just fell short of. He wanted to abandon his father, the expectations and all of what went with it.
He wanted to leave behind every hope and dream his father had for him.
It was difficult to think, to breathe, at the possibility that Gakushuu would always be a failure to his father.
He didn't know how to deal with the fact that Gakushuu didn't want to.
He didn't want to become a person who slept 2 hours and used the rest of the time efficiently. He could but he never wanted to.
But his father's expectations were forcing Gakushuu on the same path. He didn't have enough hours in the day to focus on so many things.
No matter how many things he stopped, it never felt enough to sleep for 8 hours or study enough to score that 100 on all his tests.
It never felt like he had enough time to spend with his friends, or to learn the things he enjoyed.
Sometime around his second year, when his anxiousness would tip over a certain point, he would seek out Karma. They didn't do anything, but he realized that Karma's playfulness and understanding made it hard for Gakushuu to worry about the future, when the present was so clear in front of him.
So, it was understandably terrible that the reason for his anxiety this time was Karma himself.
He kept himself with his classmates and tried not to watch Karma settle in with his new and old classmates.
He settled in well.
But Gakushuu was trying pretty hard to not-watch him.
So it was a genuine surprise when Gakushuu saw Karma waiting outside the main campus building.
A few students whispered when they saw him, but everyone gave him a wide berth. Karma looked undisturbed by all this, leaning on a wall, and just waiting. He wasn't even drinking his normal strawberry milk. He was just very obviously waiting.
Gakushuu sighed.
Karma really didn't like to make things easy for him. If he pretended he was distracted by something else, Gakushuu could just sneak away and pretend Karma just hadn't seen him.
But if Gakushuu didn't go, Karma would look like some kind of jilted lover. Worse, he would look like Gakushuu's jilted lover, knowing Karma.
"What do you want?" He asked flatly, when he reached Karma. The other boy looked up, a friendly smile on his face.
"Hey Shuu. It's been a while!" Gakushuu ignored the mocking nickname and the deliberate reminder that Gakushuu hadn't even been by to see the cats.
"And? Do you have something to say?" He asked again.
He felt uncomfortable. He had never felt uncomfortable around Karma before. But this felt intensely uncomfortable, and private.
So when Karma grabbed his wrist and suggested they check out the cats first, he didn't argue.
He didn't exactly want to talk to Karma right that moment, but he was also aware that Karma was definitely the person he should talk to.
Maybe it was Karma being himself, but many of Gakushuu's problems felt like they were much easier to solve in his presence. Or sometimes he would have an epiphany and realize that 'oh, life actually is that easy'.
Gakushuu had at least realized something about himself, at least, after he pulled himself away from watching the video of Karma jumping off the cliff yet again.
He was upset.
Gakushuu was angry and frustrated. But mostly, he felt a little like he was about to start crying.
And Karma holding his wrist tightly in a warm grasp didn't help matters much.
They didn't talk, but that didn't stop Gakushuu from noting the rougher hands, the slightly windswept hair, and the very same presence that Gakushuu had gotten so incredibly used to in the last few years.
He pulled at his hand, and Karma stopped looking back at him.
"I can walk on my own," he said, his voice decidedly quiet. Karma frowned, then decided that all questions could wait till they reached and turned around and walked, an eye on him to make sure he was there.
Gakushuu stayed a step behind and walked, keeping his eyes on Karma.
He curled his hand, an uncomfortable anxious itch making itself known. He clenched his hand, and unclenched it. Then kept his eyes forward and kept walking.
A hand slid over his own. Gakushuu's heart leapt to his throat, as he watched Karma's hand carefully uncurl his fingers from digging into his palm. He slid their fingers together until they slipped between his and they were holding hands.
They were holding hands.
Gakushuu flushed red, and he couldn't bring himself to protest at being, once again, dragged to Karma's house.
Though, it may or may not have something to do with Karma slowly dragging his thumb over Gakushuu's knuckles.
Karma kept an eye on the blush crawling down Gakushuu's cheeks and played with the word that popped into his head and decided that yeah, it fit .
'Cute' he thought again.
"You're mad at me," Karma stated when they finally reached and the cats had finished scratching at Gakushuu for leaving them alone with Karma.
He took his punishment from the cats and had sweet tea placed in front of him that Gakushuu disliked as his second punishment for avoiding Karma's house. He sighed and sipped at the horrendous mix.
Why was he getting punished when Karma was the one who threw himself off the cliff? He complained to himself as he sipped the too sweet tea.
Karma leaned against the kitchen counter and looked at Gakushuu with a 'well? Spill it' expression.
Gakushuu frowned into his cup and didn't answer. Karma sighed like he was being difficult, and then came and sat beside Gakushuu.
"So? Why are you mad at me?" He asked reasonably, and Gakushuu tightened his grip on the cup. Karma waited.
"You threw yourself off a cliff, why the fuck -" Gakushuu was horrified to hear his voice crack on the word. He looked away.
"Why the hell do you think I'm mad at you?"
"Oh," Karma blinked.
"Oh?" Gakushuu said, voice cooling by a few degrees. "You jumped off a cliff, Karma. Give me something more than an 'oh'."
"Um, I didn't- it wasn't a-" Karma fumbled in surprise. Gakushuu breathed out from his nose.
" Why did you jump, Karma? You dying wouldn't be worth keeping the world safe from one decent semi-human. There was no reason -"
"I wasn't thinking of reasons when I did it," Karma curled his fingers together, looking down. "I- do you know what happened when I got suspended?"
Gakushuu blinked at the abrupt shift in topic.
"... A student complained that you injured them, and asked that you be expelled or he would leave the school. The Principal intervened personally and suspended you for fighting and then suspended the student for lying."
"Huh," Karma blinked in surprise at the whole story. "Wait, him too?"
Gakushuu smiled at him.
"Yeah, well, your expulsion was decided but afterwards the Principal got involved and managed the rest."
"Huhhh," Karma dragged the word out then he put his face in his hands and groaned out loud. Gakushuu tilted his head in confusion.
"What?" He asked. When he didn't get an answer, he poked at Karma. "What is it?"
"This is so embarrassing," Karma groaned. Gakushuu was already smiling at Karma's embarrassment.
"I won't laugh too much. Promise," he said, a smile in his voice.
"Liar. You're already laughing at me," Karma peaked an eye out to look at Gakushuu.
"Just tell me so I can go back to being mad at you," He mock-scowled at him.
"Now I don't want to tell you even more," Karma stuck a tongue out. Gakushuu narrowed his eyes. Karma gave up reluctantly.
"So the teacher told me that he would support me even if I got in fights, as long as I maintained my top 5 score," he started.
"-but you got suspended so you…felt like you couldn't trust anyone?" Karma nodded then shrugged.
"Kind of. I just realized people were untrustworthy even though they promise you something. It seemed like a good deal, he gets notoriety and I get to do what I want, but then I realized that he was just the kind of person who could throw all his morals as a teacher away the moment it inconvenienced him."
Gakushuu sipped his cold, too sweet tea and hummed. He understood a little of what Karma was thinking but-
"Aguri would have made you acknowledge her too," he said, tracing the rim of the cup. "I guess she'll be happy to see her legacy earn yours too."
Karma hummed. Then paused, rewinding his sentence in his mind. Because that almost sounded like-
"Wait, Koro-sensei knew her?" Gakushuu smiled.
"And you won't know about that because you jumped off a cliff instead of talking like a sane human being," he grinned into his cup.
Karma made a noise of disgust in his throat.
"All right, watching you continue your pitiful attempts at this is just making me sad. How long are you going to drink this? You hate it." He took Gakushuu's cup then rolled his eyes hard when he noticed it was emptied.
Gakushuu smiled at him when Karma deliberately rolled his eyes at him.
"I can't believe you finished this, you heathen," Karma scoffed.
"I mean, it was extra sweet, but you still made it for me. I couldn't just not have it," Gakushuu said flippantly, but Karma froze for half a second before he continued to clear out the table and put the cup back in the kitchen.
'Just like Valentine's?'
Karma deliberated on saying the words but ended up not saying it. Valentine's had become an odd prank time for them, one where Gakushuu could freely give Karma the oddest combination without anyone being surprised at the normally proper boy doing anything heinous.
But the thing was, both had to accept being pranked. Gakushuu would deliberately eat the weird things Karma left for him without complaint, even if he was coming to class with red rimmed eyes, and Karma did too. He would chew and swallow the tongue and brain-numbing combinations Gakushuu made in revenge.
It was a new experience, but it was a good experience.
Instead of saying anything else, Karma decided to make Gakushuu and himself something less sweet to drink.
His mind went back to that exhilarating moment when he had let himself fall back, and decided that he would acknowledge the teacher if he didn't die.
He didn't think death bothered him, but he also didn't like to think his parents essentially abandoning him bothered him either.
He turned around, and Gakushuu was watching him with a sad expression. The smile on his face had slid off and his eyes were far away from just Karma. Though, he registered the movement a second later and blinked it back into focus to look at Karma.
Karma didn't like the way his voice had cracked. It felt good to know someone cared, but Gakushuu had never really made it a secret. He seeked Karma out, about as much Karma did him.
Though, he mostly placed himself on Gakushuu's path when he was seeking the other out to make it look 'accidental' even if both sides were mostly aware that it wasn't. Gakushuu just didn't bother.
He would find him relaxing at the rooftop, or the loner spots of Kunugigaoka where people went to have a mental breakdown but Karma just went to hide away from people.
It made Karma feel wanted . And it was nice. Because Gakushuu was always busy. He was always doing something or the other and Karma was sure he didn't even know half of it.
Gakushuu made time for him, or his class even when he was drowning himself in things to do.
It wasn't like Karma couldn't see the eyebags. He could see them right through the concealer Gakushuu favored, and it made Karma feel good about how obviously Gakushuu prized him.
He knew that class A didn't like him, that most of the school didn't get why Gakushuu, the son of the Principal, favored by most teachers and people in general, would choose to be friends with Akabane Karma, violent delinquent on the path to hell or jail, whatever came first
Karma didn't like pretending he was something he wasn't, and he was also aware of how it made people see him.
Gakushuu had, never once, let that bother him.
Gakushuu built his reputation and then threw it away even when Karma got more notorious. He didn't shy away from talking to Karma in the middle of the hallway, in front of any teacher or any students. He didn't pretend he didn't exist in front of his friends.
Gakushuu had never treated Karma like he could just be ignored.
So, he had never wanted to get Gakushuu so upset.
"I never really found something I looked forward to, you know?" Karma started, looking down at the cup in his hands. He could feel Gakushuu's gaze boring unto his back.
"Like, sure. Life's cool, but it's not something I can't throw away to do something even better."
Karma hadn't jumped thinking it was going to be a life changing moment. But maybe it had become one by the time Koro-sensei caught him. He didn't find his life to be anything precious.
But, when he had gotten saved, when Koro-sensei had promised to save him every time, instead of leaving him to rot like the trash he was, he thought that maybe, it was the life changing event that he had been looking for.
"And I think that, now, I want to live and see what's going to happen. With Koro-sensei and class E." He dropped the cup and leaned away from counter, his hands gripping the edge.
He remembered watching Koro-sensei's smiling face gentle with care, the sun beams shining over him, and the cool of the tentacles he had weaved into a web just for Karma.
Then he turned around to look at Gakushuu. His expression was complicated. He looked at Karma like he was happy, but also sad at the same time. Karma almost laughed because he had been expecting the exact same expression from him.
He liked that Gakushuu had always always cared. He felt a familiar warmth in his gut and smiled.
"I'm still not telling you Koro-sensei's history," Gakushuu finally said.
Karma laughed.
Because yeah, fair.
AUTORENGEDANKEN 
Siera_Knightwalker
Siera_Knightwalker Students of Class A:
Gakushuu
Ren, bestie
Araki, info gatherer
Tadashi Morisuke, rival
Miya, Morisuke bestie
Kazuki Mimeya, messy
Akira, sexist
Masachika Satoi, foodie
Seiji Shiba
Kaito, chika's alt
Asahi, tsun Shuu stan
Seo Tomoya, Hinata's cousin
Natsuhiko Koyama, minion #1
Kimiko, ballet gangster wannabe
Amami, introvert friend
Hinata, extro crier
Anaya, stoic babe
Keiji Shimizu, independent loner
Ayaka, loud baby
Miyuki, shyest
Tomomi
Satsuki
Emiko, tired of shit
Yuzuki, proud richie
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein