Kapitel 19: Chapter 18

"Then, the guy who went into my room is... you?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer by the look in his eyes.

"Yes... I am," he admitted.

"Did you accept drinks from Logan that night?" I inquired, turning to Professor Zaiden, who shook his head in response.

A sudden realization hit me. Logan didn't drug his drink. So, we engaged in that intimate act without any drugs? It was just pure desire? I had seduced someone, but it was a different man I had seduced.

"Why were you in that room? Why were you there? Do you know me? Why were you inside? Why did you tell me to forget what happened? Why are you saying those things? Because of that, I never really doubted you," I bombarded him with a series of questions.

"Because I knew that you mistook me for Zaiden, that's why I said those things. I've been teaching at the university for months, Laurene. I know some of the students here, which is why I knew you were one of Zaiden's students. If you ask me why I was there, I don't need to answer that if you don't want Zaiden to hear my reason," he replied. I remained silent. "I'm sorry for pretending... I admit that I took advantage of you. I kept pretending to be Zaiden; I took advantage of your feelings for him."

Hearing those words from him felt like a cold gust of wind. I never expected to be humiliated like this. I lost all appetite for everything.

"And you knew it, Professor Zaiden?" I asked, my voice filled with sorrow.

He looked at me with regret. "I only found out when we spoke at the clinic. I didn't know that you were the one my brother was targeting. I told you to stop so that you would realize it on your own. I just... didn't know that my brother would be-"

"Enough... I don't want to hear anymore," I interrupted him, cutting off whatever he was about to say.

I suddenly stood up from my seat and approached Zairon. I slapped him hard.

"That's not enough for all the deception you've done to me. You have a mouth, why didn't you use it?" I exclaimed with bitterness. "Oh, because of your damn lust, you couldn't say anything. You used me, didn't you?" I said sarcastically.

But no matter how much I tried to put on a tough front, the pain in my heart only intensified. It hurt, it hurt that I was just being played with, how desperate I had become!

His cheeks flushed, but he seemed unfazed by the pain and looked back at me.

"If I tell you, are you sure you won't distance yourself from me?" he asked emotionlessly. Why was he like this? Why did his words seem contradictory to his expression? How did I not notice this before?

I couldn't respond, but the anger in my eyes remained.

"You're in love with my twin, Laurene. You're in love with him and not me. If you ask me now if I regret what I did, I don't..." he continued.

I closed my eyes as the pain and anger surged through me, and tears began to flow.

"I don't regret deceiving you because if I hadn't done that, you wouldn't be mine. I knew you had feelings for me, Laurene... you're just confused now," he said, smiling bitterly, unable to comprehend the intensity of my gaze. "Confused? Did you really think that?" I wiped away the tears on my cheek with force, staring at him with hatred. "I'm not confused, Zairon. You can't replace the feelings I have for Zaiden."

"Laurenestine," Professor Zaiden tried to intervene.

I faced Zairon directly, locking my gaze with his. "Too bad, you will never replace Zaiden in my heart. No matter how much you pretend, he is still the one I want," I said, the pain evident in his eyes, but it quickly vanished, replaced by a blank stare.

"I can't love you even if you copy everything about him, even if you change your name. I can't love you... Yes, I do have feelings for you, but do you know what they are?" I taunted. "Anger, resentment, and hatred. That's what I feel for you now, Zairon. I will never forgive you."

My anger towards him was intense. I never expected to feel such anger, but I was hurt by his lies and deception.

"You probably thought this would be easy, right? Pretending to be Zaiden and thinking you could never deceive me. But you were wrong! You disregarded my feelings just for your own amusement!" With each word, I could feel the heat of my anger seeping through my voice.

He didn't react, just stared at me. I wanted to see regret in his eyes, but I saw no sign of concern or remorse.

"If I tell you, are you sure you won't distance yourself from me?" he asked with no emotion. Why was he like this? Why did his words seem different from his expression? Why didn't I notice this before?

I couldn't answer, but the anger in my eyes remained.

"You let me believe that Zaiden was interested in me, even though he wasn't. You let me believe those lies. You both conspired against me," I said firmly, shifting my gaze between the two of them.

"But I'm grateful now because I am enlightened," Zairon tried to touch me, but I pushed him away and slapped him again.

"Don't touch me. I don't know you," I said firmly, grabbing my belongings.

Without looking back, I left the office. I heard Professor Zaiden's last words before I walked out of the university gate. But I didn't care anymore. I just wanted to retreat to my apartment and avoid going out.

"Laurene, you've been sleeping for days. Don't you plan on going to school?"

I turned to lie in another direction to avoid Ate Amary's nagging. She was in my apartment with my cute nephew because she was the only one I could talk to.

"Didn't I clean the video? But seriously, you really went all out!" she teased.

I glared at her, annoyed by her teasing.

"Enough, Ate. I've been deceived, and you're still finding joy in it!" I snapped.

"Karma, I told you! You were too desperate, and this is what you get! If Ate Nave finds out that you gave away your V, you're in big trouble!" I fell silent and bowed my head.

"Wait, did you take the pills?" she asked.

I suddenly felt anxious because I hadn't been taking the pills recommended by Ate Amary. It slipped my mind.

"Y-yes, of course! I don't want to get pregnant!" I made an excuse, hoping she wouldn't find out that I hadn't taken them because I had hidden them.

She raised an eyebrow. "Really? Because I've noticed some changes in you these past few days. Oh, that's English!" she added.

I rolled my eyes at her antics. "Leave me alone, Ate Amary. What have you noticed? I don't even know what's happening in my life right now," I said, turning to stare at the ceiling.

"Are you sure you're okay? Aren't you worried about what happened to you?" she asked, approaching me gently.

I lay back on the bed and let out a deep sigh. "I don't know if I'm okay. I just feel like disappearing from this world, even just for a few hours."

"Laurene, you can't hide your feelings. You need to face things and do what's right for you. I know you can handle this. You're strong," she advised, looking at me with hope.

"Thank you, Ate Amary. You're the only one who tries to give me even a glimmer of light in my dark thoughts."

"You know I'm always here for you. Don't worry, you can get through this. All the pain you feel now will one day be a part of the past," she said, filled with hope.

"Thank you, Ate. It's just you and Ate Nave who really try to understand me."

"You know I'm always here for you. Don't worry, you can get through this. All the pain you feel now will one day be a part of the past," she said, filled with hope.

"Thank you. It's just you and Ate Nave who really try to understand me."

She gently tapped me. "But I still can't get over your love story! Haha, did you know that when Mama tells the story, she says it's like watching a movie. Gavilan's descendants, indeed! You should have gotten pregnant so we could be showered with their wealth!"

"Oh, that's why I don't want you here. Instead of consoling me, you're fantasizing!" I retorted.

"Haha, just kidding. But seriously, what are you going to do? When are you going to go to school?"

I let out a deep sigh. "Is it okay if I transfer to another school? Maybe it's better if I just avoid all of this. I can't face them, especially when I think about seeing them together, it just reminds me of everything I learned." I answered.

"Are you sure about that? You know how outspoken Nave can be. She might scold you," Ate Amary cautioned with a concerned expression.

I hesitated for a moment, contemplating the potential consequences of transferring schools. However, I gathered my resolve and replied, "It's okay. I'll find a job while continuing my studies. I have some side gigs, and a friend has offered to help me get into a new school."

As my phone rang, I excused myself to answer the call. Ate Amary took the opportunity to start folding the clothes she had washed, leaving me alone in my thoughts.

"Hello, Jorih," I greeted my friend on the other end of the line.

"Laurenestine! Are you ready? Sheriah is expecting you later. Don't worry, there won't be any strange drinks this time since it's her birthday!" Jorih exclaimed, obviously excited.

"Okay, but is it still at the same location?" I inquired.

"Yes, we're still meeting at our usual hangout spot. We're expecting a lot of attractive guys tonight because Sheriah's boyfriend has many male friends, and she invited them all!" Jorih replied with enthusiasm.

Thoughts of Tristan crossed my mind. I wondered if he would be there. He had been ignoring me ever since the incident. I knew he was deeply angry with me, especially after the video surfaced. Although I had deleted the video, the rumors continued to circulate. I decided to let it go, as I had grown accustomed to people's gossip.

After ending the call, I stood up, but the room suddenly spun, causing me to lose my balance. I shook my head to clear the dizziness and regain my focus.

"I really need to eat. It seems like this dizziness is happening more often," I muttered to myself.

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