King of Harem: Beautiful Ladies Everywhere

LV 5

ATCkit

The stories are not that bad, but your grammar is. Examples are: "What do you have mind?" "John the lead they way" That's just from the first quarter of the chapter. This is a problem in your other work as well. However, I overlooked it because I enjoy the story and its tolerable when compared to other stories I like that I just can't stand to read because its grammar is just so horrible for instance The supreme sovereign system. anyway if I where you, I would stick to the one story for now and work on your grammar. that or get better at editing I find it helps if you use a text to speech program for this part considering its easy to miss most of these little but many mistakes of yours. the new book that your working on here looks alright, but the genre is saturated with a ton of new works that focus primarily on sex like it. whereas when it comes to zombies your already in and there's less new blood. not to mention you're currently listed as the fourth most popular zombie tagged series right now and that's including translated works, here's the list of your competitors when it comes to zombies; Doomsday-Pillars Mutagen here's the list for sex: Dual Cultivation - currently ＃16 on Originals' Power Ranking Profane Prince of Domination - ＃17 on Originals' Power Ranking The Sinful Life of The Emperor - crap but lots of readers The Hentai System - up and coming God Of Lust The Super Sex System Harem of Thrones - up and coming The path of the lustful demon System: Harry The Harem lord The Lust System My Mom in Another World DC Anime System A Goblin's Evolution Hentai God System Lewd System - possible reboot soon +18 - Harem Palace Sect's System - done updating but has a lot of readers DO FUTA No one has done that yet that or **** and BDSM with is only covered by Harry The Harem lord or dominatrix which is only covered by The Hentai System

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LV 15

Awaven

Grammar and writing quality could use improvement, main issue I see being occasional words out of order and words being excluded in the dialogue that makes the story feel clunky. WQ : 2/5 (Just work on grammar) SoU : 4/5 (Only 2 ch. out, so not really applicable) SD : 3/5 (Story feels slightly rushed? Somewhat normal pace for a novel, though I would personally prefer it turned down a notch early on) CD : 2/5 (Characters seem a little flat, but only 2 ch. in, so seems normal) WB : 2/5 (Story does not touch on world background yet, so probably N/A) I do not mean to be that guy, but this story seems very familiar. The plot in ch. 1-2 is shockingly similar to the first chapter of the (18+) Visual Novel Daughter for Dessert. The Visual Novel probably being the inspiration for the start of the story. (If you look it up you can play the first chapter for free in browser.) I do kinda feel bad for my low rating but can't really be helped since I am writing a review after reading ch. 2. My rating would probably be higher after a few more chapters so I will be keeping an eye on this story, as I am also somewhat interested in how this story will play out. I might post another review then (probably at ch. 30-50)