Kapitel 6: Chapter 4
Kiekie's POV.
Hurtful/Nuisible
I over heard mom that night saying Bettina my sister will be returning from South Africa, Cape Town for a summer vacation. Her name is Bettina but we call her Ettina.
That day that when my sister was returning from Cape Town I created scene at school. That only caused them to hate me more! It was like I added gasoline to a fire. Or a hazardous chemical to an explosive solution.
My older sister Bettina did not like me. She despised me with every bone in her!
I asked her once why she despised me that much; she told me I stole our parent's love, form her. In the first place, don't love me! They didn't care, about me! If it wasn't for Father Jonathan I won't have been in school!
They decided not to pay my fees because I wanted to become a chemist. They were totally against the idea of me becoming a chemist. They said I will end up being jobless and useless to the society because LIBERIA don't have many industries that need a chemist. They failed to realized that time change and LIBERIA will become "The best Liberia" one day.
I believe in what Mohammed Gandhi said " if you want to see change you have to be the change that you want to see in the world."
Keke: My parents were so wrong! I'm one of the best female Chemist now! I work at Firestone in Herbal and my pay is amazing.
All my life it was my dream to become a chemist. I have always wanted to do the impossible. I guess that's why they didn't, like me! I remembered my mom blaming me for what happened to them when we were in Ivory Coast.
I was just two years old back then; I didn't know that the gas tank was open. I lid the matches which caused our house to burn down to ashes including dad's company which was in the house as well. From then on, my parents, and siblings hated me!
When I reached home everybody was already there because their cars were outside. I enter the house and saw everyone looking at me with burning rage and disgust, except JC my elder brother.
Bon après… I was cut off by Ettina.
"I GUESS YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO, BUT TO BRING TROUBLE IN OUR LIVES!!! I DON'T KNOW, WHY MOM, AND DAD, ARE STILL KEEPING A BAD LUCK IN OUR HOUSE! YOU ARE THE REASON, I WAS SENT BACK YOU WITCH!!!!! YOU ARE A WITCH, I JUST HATE YOU!! TOTALLY DISPISE YOU, KIEKIE!!" She said with so much rage burning in her eyes and body shaking with anger as she yelled.
She stomped out of the living room!
I don't get this? How am I involved in her misfortune? I didn't do anything! She avoided me like a virus. If she was send back then, that wasn't my fault! I thought she was coming for a summer break, so bad! ☹️ I felt sorry for her.
My day's dream, was interrupted by mom.
"When will you stop creating trouble for my family? I wish… I wish, I aborted your pregnancy! I wish you were never born, Kiekie! I regret the day I convinced you! You are a disgrace! You are my worst make!" She said with so much disgust and when running up stairs behind her princess like a cat chasing a mouse.
Keke: Those words till hurt me till this day, Cleo. Sometimes, I think they were dramatic. What did I do so much to cause them to say all of those things to me? (crying)
Narrator: Please forgive them babe. You're a Catholic, a Christian. Remember that!!!
( Please don't think the other way. All religion forgive.)
Keke: I have forgiven them but I will not forget those words, Cleo. I won't allow anyone to abuse my future children with words. Emotional abuse is the worst abuse! Your scars will can heal from physical abuse but it takes God's grace to make you forget those words to you when you're going through therapy. It was through God's grace, I left the state of depression.
Narrator: That's my baby. Not now wipe your tears we still have a lot of explanation, ahead. I know it hurts but you don't have to cry. You can tell out your pains later. It helps you heal after going through a trigger.
Keke: You are right!
I felt numb! I couldn't breath! My eyes turned blur. It was having another panic attack! But before the panic attack could take over me completely, I heard dad's voice.
"How could you Kiekie? Chuck's dad is one of our biggest share holders! You better beg that principal of yours not to punish him. If not...You won't be able to tell that abomination friend of yours, what I will do to you because when I am done with you. You will be in hell itself and she will only find your corpse." He said threatening and walked away to comfort his princess.
My dad has never threaten to kill me before. That was the first time. Dispatch the fact that they abuse me emotionally everyday but they have never hurt me physically.
Back then, if I was given an option I would have chosen physical abuse. At least it's much preferable then emotional abuse; especially for a person like me back then, who didn't have control over her subconscious mind .
Back then, my subconscious mind was control by the people around me, allowing me to sink in the deep of depression.
My dad didn't care about what Chuck did to me. All he cared about was Chuck shouldn't get explosion because of what he had been doing to me. He chose his business over me! A parent should never choose money over their child's protect or happiness. That is what my parents did. A child should never be treated cruelly because of an infant mistake they made.
I never reported Chuck and his gang for abusing me over there past years. That was one of the reason I didn't report their abuse to anyone, because my parents who have said "You deserved it!"
I looked at my brother JC, waiting to receive his outburst, but it never came. He walked up to me and hugged my trembling body…
"I wished I could protect you, in front of them. I am sorry Keke. Sorry, I am a failure brother." He whispered to me why hugging me with his chin over my head.
A few minutes later, he broke the hug gave me a look of pity followed his parents. I hated whenever people looked at me with pity. Whenever they did, I wished I could just die.
"I guess you can never get used to hurtful words, no matter how much you try" I told myself and walked toward my room. I was too numb to cry!
But I was wrong! Hurtful words won't hurt you when you control your subconscious mind instead of allowing others to control it for you.
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein