Kapitel 32: Dirt beneath my shoes.

"Raven! Raven!! Raven!!!" He called my name continuously but I ignored him.

A second later, I was pulled back.

"I'm sorry." He said. "I thought that's what you wanted. I got caught up in the moment and didn't think straight. I'm sorry."

"I don't know what made you think I'd ever want her to kneel for me. It's not like I'm god or something."

"That girl hit you!" He shouts. "She hit you and I couldn't stand it. So I thought I should make her apologize in a satisfactory way."

Satisfactory what?

"Were you truly going to hit her if she didn't kneel?" I ask him, already scared of his answer.

"Raven-" He begins but I interrupt him.

"Yes or no Miles. Were you or were you not going to hit her if she didn't kneel?"

For some seconds he doesn't say anything, so I remove my hand from his grip.

"Look-"

"Who the fuck are you?" I shake my head in disbelief and I start to walk away.

"Rav-" He takes a step forward but I stop him.

"Don't." I say and I walk away.

....

I skipped the rest of my classes. After the final bell, I grabbed my bag and headed to the exit.

I had an headache and I was starting to feel dizzy.

Maybe it's because I didn't have breakfast and I skipped lunch.

Great.

I almost reach outside when I come across Nicholas.

We stare at each other for a while before I finally give him a small wave.

"Hi."

"Hey." He replies me.

He doesn't say anything else so I move.

"You okay?" He asks me when I reach his side.

"I'm fine." I nod. "I'm perfectly okay." I state but he frowns.

"Are you sure? You look kinda pale."

"I'm sure Nicholas, I'm perfectly fine. I don't need you hovering over me, you are not my mom." I snap at him.

This headache is starting to get the best of me.

"I'm sor-"

"No it's fine." He shakes his head. "You're right, I'm not your mom and I'm sorry if worrying about you made me sound like your mom."

"Nick-"

"I don't want to keep you waiting, so I'd leave." He says and walks away.

Great.

I sigh and I walk out of school to the bus station.

....

I close the door gently when I enter the house and I head towards the kitchen.

I open the fridge and I bring out some bread and butter. I whip up a quick sandwich.

I'm about to put it in my mouth when Lisa comes in.

"What gives you the right to eat after humiliating me like that?"

Oh god.

I gently set the sandwich back on the plate and I sigh.

"Lisa-"

"So you are sleeping with the both of them." She sneers. "At first, I didn't believe it, but then I put two and two together and it all came together."

Save me lord.

"First," She continues. "Nick who never talks to anyone suddenly comes to help you out of nowhere. Then, Miles who no one barely sees him, tells me to kneel and beg you? Oh it's doesn't end at that. Yesterday the two of them fought because of a 'certain girl' " She quotes with her hand. "Which turned out to be you." She scoffs.

"Let-"

"No wonder you had the guts to talk back at me." She folds her arms together. "And then you walked away after dropping that fake ass sorry, pretending to be humble."

"Lisa," I begin. "I didn't apologize too you to 'pretend to be humble' " I quote with my hands. "I did it because I didn't like the situation Miles put you in and-"

"You didn't like the situation Miles put me in." She repeats and she chuckles. "You are a fucking bitch you know that? After fucking the two hottest guys in school, you think you've accomplished something?" She asks.

"No bitch you haven't! It only means you are a fucking whore okay? You are nothing but a slut who opens her hole to a guy just so she can feel like she's worth something!" She shouts.

"What?" I mutter.

I'm not going to lie, but that hurt. It cut deep.

Not only did it hurt, it also made me angry.

Angry at my parents for dying, leaving me alone in this cruel life.

Angry at Miles and Nicholas for helping me out.

Angry at aunt Mary for always treating me like an animal.

Angry at Lisa for thinking she can trample over me.

And most importantly, I'm angry at myself for letting all these happen.

But all that changes today.

"Oh so now I'm the slut?" I ask and I scoff. "Okay fine. Let's say I did sleep with them, but I'm not the one who throws myself at every male teacher just to get a good grade, I'm not the one who sleeps with every guy in school just to prove a stupid point that I'm cool. I'm not the one who gives BJs to guys just for extra cash because aunt Mary and uncle Mark don't give enough!" I was practically shouting now.

"At least all I did was sleep with just two guys!" I gesture with my hand. "Just two Lisa! While you have opened your hole to countless of guys out there." I pause. "I still have the dignity you are begging to have, I have the respect you will never get, and most importantly, I have something you will never taste. Real friends.

So don't go talking to me like you are high and mighty, nothing is above you and everyone bows to you. No Lisa you can't you do that. It makes you look fucking stupid." I say frustrated.

"When you know deep deep down in that corrupted soul of yours," I pause "you're nothing but dirt beneath my shoes."