Kapitel 125: Chapter 123 Diva Part 9
"Brother Katsu...what are you going to do next?" Kotori sat on the commander's chair and asked softly, looking at Katsu, who had a complicated look on his face and didn't know what he was thinking.
"There is a gap in Miku's heart. Maybe we can get into her heart through this gap." Katsu held his chin and said in a deep voice.
"Gap?"
"Yeah, since I met Miku, the first time I saw her really smile was when she sang..."
"I see… …"
… …
At night, Katsu and Shidou sat side by side on the roof, blowing the late summer evening breeze and looking at the stars in the sky.
"I've seen that you are preoccupied since dinner. Is it about Miku?" Shidou turned his head and looked at Katsu's delicate profile face bathed in the moonlight.
" I learned some things and realized that she was just a poor person. Now I want to save her a little bit..." Katsu's eyes remained the same. Staying above the night sky, his expression is rare and gentle.
"That's it... Katsu, you are indeed a kind person."
"Haha, if some people in my hometown hear this, they will definitely laugh out loud."
"What?"
"Nothing at all."
'I'm not a kind person, I just want to try to save my past self a lonely person who has no friends...'
… …
The next day, when Katsu arrived at school, he found that Miku at the next table had not come, but he had expected this. Come to think of it, what I said yesterday had a huge impact on Miku.
After attending class absentmindedly for a day, Katsu set off in the direction of Miku's house after school in the afternoon.
When Katsu arrived at his destination, he discovered something that surprised him. He saw several girls from Rindouji Academy walking out of Miku's house with dull expressions on their faces. They should be controlled.
Katsu knew about these girls. After all, they were classmates in the current class and also Miku's classmates. When school was over, Katsu heard them discussing excitedly going to Miku's house to visit "Sister".
Judging from the current situation, there is a high probability that Miku used his ability to drive him out.
Thinking of this, Katsu couldn't help but sigh and then walked towards the door of Miku's house.
The door was unlocked and opened with just a slight push.
After walking into the house, passing through the huge living room, and stepping onto the stairs leading to the second floor, Katsu came to the door of Miku's room.
He knocked on the door gently, and Miku's somewhat impatient voice came from inside: "I'm taking a rest, please come back!"
"Miku...it's me." The voice-changing post made Katsu's voice very cute and recognizable.
"..." Miku seemed to recognize Katsu's voice but did not reply.
"I'm in, Miku." After saying that, Katsu opened the door and walked in without waiting for Miku's response.
Miku's room was gorgeous and spacious. The most eye-catching thing was the princess bed in the center.
At this moment, Miku was sitting on the bed, looking at Katsu expressionlessly: "It's not your style to break into other people's rooms without permission."
"No, that's just how I do it."
"Oh, really? Then it's because I don't know you very well?"
"That's right, you don't understand me, just like I don't understand you, and I came here this time just to get to know the real you." Katsu looked directly into Miku's eyes and said.
"This kind of thing..."
"I said yesterday that we still are friends."
Katsu's words seemed to poke the scars in Miku's heart again. She glared at Katsu and said loudly: "Friend... stop joking! You just said it yourself, I don't understand you, just like you don't understand me... …"
However, before Miku could finish her words, she was interrupted by Katsu with a louder voice: "I've said it before! I came here just to get to know you! Tell me, what have you experienced - --"
"..."
The silence did not last long.
I don't know whether it was because she was moved by Katsu's words, or because she wanted to confide in others after a long absence, but there was a look of reminiscence in Miku's eyes.
──I can only sing.
This is something Miku has felt since she was about to turn nine.
Whether reading or playing sports, she is mediocre at best. Even not good at painting or crafts.
When I was in elementary school, I only received one comment on my contact book: "Well done." This did not change at all even after I was promoted to junior high school.
However, Miku still sings. She sang better and more gracefully than anyone in the class.
What was the key point at the beginning... Yes, I remember it was at the kindergarten party, the teacher praised her for singing wonderfully.
That was a very happy thing for the young Miku, and she felt as proud as if she had received a shining medal that no one else had.
Maybe it's a natural result that Miku will start to yearn for idols who sing and dance on TV...
The young Miku was fascinated by the girls dancing and singing cute songs on the gorgeous and shiny stage.
Not only the lyrics, but also the dance moves were memorized so well that her parents were shocked.
Then when Miku was fifteen years old, she got the attention of the judges at the talent show and made her glorious debut as the idol she longed for in the name of Tsukino Yoimachi.
The joy at that time was simply indescribable. She can stand in the place that she has always longed for, and she can let many people listen to my voice and songs. Just thinking about it made tears flow from her eyes. Of course, work cannot be compared to what it is now, but it is going very smoothly and I have not encountered any setbacks. CD records also slowly entered the charts, and the number of concert audiences began to increase.
More than 90% of the fans are men. Although I shudder when I think about it now... But for Miku at that time, everyone said they liked her songs and were very important fans.
Although she also likes recording records and broadcasting, she is happiest when giving concerts.
That is the actual feeling that makes me feel that my singing is conveying to everyone the most.
Everyone praises the song.
Everyone says they like Miku the best.
The shining medal pinned to his chest shone even more beautifully.
I thought this dreamlike time would last forever.
──However, the end came easily. That happened about a year after Miku debuted.
When trying to gain some visibility, the agency's manager mentioned something like, "The producer of a certain TV station likes you very much" and "If you build a good relationship with the other party, you can become a solid team member for prime time programs."
Although it is not stated explicitly, it is simply an unspoken rule.
Of course, Miku solemnly refused such a thing.
The reason why she wanted to become an idol was not because she wanted to be on TV or something, she just wanted everyone to hear her singing.
However, things were far from ending that easily after a while.
Scandals that she did not commit were published in Photo Weekly magazine.
What was written in the content... Miku was too shocked to read it carefully, but she remembered that it was written about past male relationships, abortion experiences, indulging in drug parties, etc., which made people frown.
It was later learned that the previous producer seemed to have had a hand in it.
Miku simply lost her place in the company.
But what makes Miku heartbroken the most is the fans... No, it's the reaction of people who used to think they were fans.
A person who has said a lot of things like "I like you the most", "I love you", and "I am willing to die for you" to myself until now has suddenly changed his attitude 180 degrees.
Rather than what Miku said, they believed the rumors spread by people who didn't know where they came from, which made Miku feel uncomfortable.
----Eh-How many times have you had sex with your previous boyfriend?
----Abortion means killing a child, right? He's obviously a murderer.
Whenever this kind of message is written on the blog... Whenever there are people saying such heartless words to her at handshakes and autograph sessions where the number of fans is reduced... Miku's heart gradually becomes haggard.
Even so, Miku still didn't give up. That's right. She still has songs... and songs to sing.
Yes---from the beginning, all she had was songs.
No matter what kind of rumors you hear, as long as you are willing to listen to my singing, you will definitely understand.
"My songs have such power."
This unfounded confidence still lingers somewhere inside.
So Miku stood on the stage of the concert venue again.
However, it failed.
The people gathered at the venue looked like some kind of terrifying creature different from themselves, with another kind of throbbing different from nervousness dominating their bodies.
However, it had to be sung. Nothing can begin without singing.
The song started to play, and Miku brought the microphone close to her mouth, vibrating her throat.
However---no sound came from Miku's throat.
After going to the hospital for a checkup, the diagnosis was psychogenic aphonia.
In this way, the life of Tsukino Yoimachi, who only had singing, easily came to an end.
Once a girl who only has singing skills loses her voice, she will no longer have any value in existence.
She had known this for a long time. I had some realization when she was almost nine years old.
Therefore, it is only natural that Miku would start to consider suicide.
Any method will do. Hanging yourself; taking a lot of sleeping pills; rushing out to be hit by a tram when it comes to the station; just cutting your hands with a razor doesn't matter. With such a small gesture, the worthless child should be easily disposed of.
However, just when Miku wanted to carry out these actions...
The god appeared before her.
"──You who are disappointed with humanity and despair of the world, do you want power? Do you want a power powerful enough to change the world?"
AUTORENGEDANKEN 
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