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57.14% I am the Mother of that Murderer / Chapter 4: Chapter 4

Kapitel 4: Chapter 4

Today is the longest time that his mother stays in this room. Usually, she only checked what he is doing, then go. With his peripheral vision, Su Rong discreetly observed his mother sitting in the corner of his study room. She's been sitting there for a long time, silently. He couldn't concentrate on his workbook while she's peering at his back but still, he continues to appear studying seriously. Feeling her eyes at him made Su Rong happy. It wasn't similar to the look she was giving him days ago. It now lacks pressure and intimidation.

Su Rong waited for an hour before looking up. "Is there anything wrong, Mommy?" he curiously asked.

"Nothing," Ji Yun was startled by the sudden call but hide it in her smile "Go ahead, continue what you are doing. Mom's just going to read this book." her fingers twitch while holding a book that she randomly took from his shelves. The book was in her hands for a long time but she never even glanced at it as her eyes remain looking at her son the whole time.

Su Rong imitates her smile, afterward returns to study his textbook.

Such a good child.

In Ji Yun's memory, she never realized that there was something wrong with Su Rong until he reveals his crimes and died. He's always a model child. He is an excellent academics, very popular with his circle, and never becomes a headache to them--his parents. She didn't need to say another word or repeat them when she reprimands his bad behavior. He is always that attentive fine man.

Anti-social Personality Disorder, also informally known as Sociopathy. Ji Yun asked her psychiatrist for the elaborate details of this mental disorder. Her Ah Rong inconspicuously said 'Being a sociopath is not innate, it was made'. After a couple of times rewatching the video of his confession before his death, Ji Yun felt that he might subtle inferred that he is a sociopath and they made him like that. Ji Yun had a strong aversion at first but the more she learns about this illness, the more this assumption may be correct. Images overlapped, she thought she knew her son the most, but Su Rong might be masking his real self.

Anti-social Personality Disorder is a condition in which individuals show less empathy and show deviation from social norms. Her psychiatrist emphasized that it occurs on a spectrum and attributes are expressed in various degrees. Everyone is different in one way or another, she said, and it is far from the stereotype the media always depicted. People with this illness indeed have the urge to prey on the weakness they see on others and try to manipulate them for personal gain or personal pleasure. However, this trait doesn't justify that they are portrayed as criminals.

Her Ah Rong is a normal person, just with less emotion, capable of thinking logically. He may be categorized as a 'high functioning' sociopath, in case he truly was clinically diagnosed. Traits like risk-taker, manipulative, and lack of empathy that can make sociopaths 'criminals' helped him became a CEO in his own business legally. Sociopaths might look evil because of their characteristics, but he's just someone who is trying to navigate in a modern workplace with this illness.

Her Ah Rong was willing to try to conform to social norms, as other sociopaths would do, but didn't become successful. He was trying to be a normal person until a trigger snapped within, made him lose that thin morality. Ji Yun knew her words partly cause it but those people push him further to the cliff. She gritted her teeth at the thought of it.

Never again. She slowly calms herself. She looks at her son who studies diligently. Never again.

"Xiao Rong," Ji Yun softly called him. "How about we go to an amusement park today, do you want?"

"Why?" feeling perplexed, Su Rong asked. "I mean I have my French class later and also Ms. Shizuki will come for today. The recital is near. We have to practice..." Su Rong continues enumerating his schedule for today.

"Let's have a rest day. How about from now on we will play every Saturday or just chill out?" she suggested. "I just realized while looking at you earlier that I scheduled many activities that you didn't even have time to rest or play. Let's go to the amusement park today. You have never been there, right?"

Su Rong smiled and nod. He saw his mom's excitement in her eyes at the word 'amusement park'. He was still confused at the unexpected request, but he will follow her and play.

"Mom has never been to an amusement park before." she smiled as her son giggled at her words.

Ji Yun will observe for now. Su Rong is still an innocent child. There's still a chance she can save him from being a sociopath. For now, she will start dismantling the shackle she put on him, and it will start from this grueling education routine.

+++

Both mother and son were aghast at the sight of 'an amusement park'. After clearing up Su Rong's schedule for the day, they decided to go to the amusement park after eating lunch.

Ji Yun ordered the guards to protect them at a far distance and to not disturb their fun. Standing in the middle of the crowd, both felt awkward at the happy atmosphere, the excited faces, or the cheery shouts from nearby rides.

"How about we roam around first and check the area?" the mother asked while looking at the unknown territory skeptically. The son just nods his head wearing a stoic face.

The two took a stroll while observing their surroundings. Because both are good looking, people couldn't help but become attracted to them. The mother and son continue walking as they weren't bothered by their prying eyes.

Su Rong saw an approaching crowd in their direction, he glances at the family not far away and got an idea. Sparkles past his eyes. He moved closer to his mother, and grab the hem of her blazer.

"Hold my hand mommy. I might get lost."

Ji Yun looks at her child who adorably asked for protection. "Hmm. Mommy will hold your hand. Grab tightly or you will be lost in the crowd." she said while holding his hand firmly. They walk out of the crowd. Both have a smile in their face when furtively gazing at the intertwined hands.

"Let's go to that store". Ji Yun pointed to a nameless store. It was different from the stores they usually went through, but Ji Yun didn't have any problem. When she was young and poor, she and her mother went to a store to buy a bag. The store has few customers but no one assisted them because their clothes weren't branded as the others. She felt indignant at that time but now she missed those times when she can shop peacefully. Ever since she became the wife of Su Jian, she has to go to those prestigious boutiques similar to a war zone for those bored madams. Every action should be carefully considered because those hyenas are just patiently waiting for her to have mistakes to prey on.

Ji Yun scanned the place before she leads her son to the accessories section of the store. She picks a small tiger ears headband and put it on his head while she wears the adult size tiger ears headband. "How is it? We look like tiger mother and cub right?" she said while they looking at the mirror.

Su Rong gave a broad smile while touching the small tiger ears on his head.

"Let's try something else," Ji Yun suggested while Su Rong nod happily.

After half an hour of trying the accessories, they settle to buy the tiger headbands pair and a matching mother and son sunglasses. They decided to wear them for the whole trip.

"Where do you want to go next?" she asked.

"Let's ride that"

Ji Yun looked at where Su Rong's index finger was pointing to. It is a train shaped rip-roaring on the elevated railway. Reaching a speed of that feels more like a jaw-tightening space launch, it enables its passengers to 'fly.' With its acceleration, windblown hair is guaranteed. Looking at how it reaches a mountain peak before plunging straight down, while at the same time twisting and turning through the spiral, made Ji Yun hold her breath. She immediately paled at the sight.

"Good. Let's ride that." Ji Yun tried to suppress her nervousness in her calm facade. After they rode the rollercoaster, Ji Yun's fingers are trembling but she still manages to keep a straight look.

"Let's do ride it again!"

Ji Yun immediately gazed at her son. Su Rong was smiling the whole time. He didn't scream but instead was laughing heartily until the end of the ride. She wanted to agree due to her son's enthusiasm but her heart might burst if she rode for the second time.

"Not good?"

Ji Yun in end succumb to Su Rong's expecting big deer eyes.

Su Rong never gets this excited. The initial acceleration gets his adrenaline pumping. The feeling of his insides floating in midair while the metal cart's speeding hundreds of feet in the air, made him addicted. The screams of the people who thought they might fall while the cart was upside down and going through the loops, was fascinating. What he found more interesting was his mommy's reaction. It was more fun observing her stiff body while her hands attached to the safety belt. She was calm the whole duration of the ride but he knew what might be going on inside. Su Rong grinned cheekily. He wanted to try it again and again.

Half of Ji Yun's soul already leaves her body. After having ridden the roller coaster four times, Su Rong finally decided to stop. She could now finally release the breath that been stuck in her throat. She felt so relieved.

"Let's ride that mommy!"

A Viking warship seems to fare a fierce ocean storm. The brilliant ship moves back and forth as if being pushed by deep-water currents. The peak of its swinging was extremely high it could transport them to the afterlife. Su Rong chose another adrenaline-inducing ride.

"How about we take a break first. Mommy's already hungry." Ji Yun smiled but the side of her lips slightly quiver.

"Then let's ride it after eating?"

It took moments before Ji Yun agrees. This is what people said about mothers being weak to their child's pleads. She never saw Su Rong this lively and ease so she doesn't want to dump his feelings.

Su Rong finds it amusing. His mommy is clearly afraid to ride those things but still chooses to ride it with him. She could let him ride it alone but because he demands to rode it with her, she still indulges his whim. This made him smile more.

Su Rong got bored after riding the roller coaster twice. It no longer makes his heart beat faster like the first time he rode it but seeing his mother clenched fist trying to control her fear urge him to want to see it more, so they rode the roller coaster again. How long will his mommy will last? How long she will indulge him? Su Rong decided, after the break, he will choose a more exciting ride for his mommy.

Ji Yun leads her son to an umbrella table before buying a snack at the nearby food stands. She bought a variety of food for his son to choose from. What marvel him is the hotdog on a stick. She chuckles at the look of his face.

"There's no cutlery?" he asked skeptically.

"You can eat it like this," she encouraged and bite the hotdog in her hand. "Come on. Try whatever you want".

Su Rong slowly imitate his mom and took a bite. Seeing that she didn't reprimand him, he continues eating. Seeing him quietly nibbling his food, made Su Rong heart full.

In the past when Su Rong was still young, Ji Yun used to control what food he can only eat and how he should eat them. Now, facing the young him again, she wants to return his freedom and be in control even in these little things.

After having a snack and taking a rest, the mother and son went to the attractions Su Rong have chosen. They play until nighttime before leaving the park with a happy memory.


AUTORENGEDANKEN
GraceJoy GraceJoy

Thank you for patiently waiting for this chapter! I was so engrossed in reading articles and watching documentaries about sociopaths these days. I wanted to write Su Rong's character as a sociopath, accurate from the usual stereotype, so I have to research more of this topic. Don't worry I won't abandon this book. I just need to gather information to justify their action, so the upcoming chapter's update time will be inconsistent. I hope you will still continue reading and support this book. Happy reading~~

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