Kapitel 6: V
Issei sat alone in his room, his wet shirt tossed thoughtlessly on the floor; new dry jeans replaced the damp ones he had been wearing. Rias had come after him banging on his door, but he hadn't answered. She might believe him if he told her Koneko was a liar. But that might permanently damage their relationship… Despite Koneko's betrayal, he didn't want that. She needed Rias, she was like a doting mother, her only guardian in the world. More importantly, she wasn't lying…exactly. How could she do that to me? I told her that in confidence. Something I never told anyone. He sighed.
I guess I underestimated how much she hates me. He shook his head. But twisting my words like that. Sure I said something like that, but it was a dark fear, not what I really feel!
"Issei! Talk to me!" Rias called worriedly through the door. When no response came, she finally decided to give him his space.
"Koneko… she's just confused. About her place, about… about you. I know she only said those things to make you look bad. You didn't really say that. Listen. Take all the time you need, but when you're finished… when you're finished just come talk to me." Her voice was sympathetic, almost motherly until this point, but her tone, changed suddenly: quiet, pleading: "Please… I'll be in my room. Waiting."
The diminishing sound of her footsteps echoed in Issei's mind. What will I say to her? Will she understand if I tell her the truth? Will she think I'm a coward?
***
What do I do? Koneko asked herself. She sat crying, hugging her knees for several minutes. This won't fix anything though. She swiped a frustrated sleeve across her face wiping away the tears that just kept forming. What right do I have to cry? Issei's the one that… the image of his hurt, the betrayal in his eyes. The shock mixed with disappointment. His rain-soaked shirt, the precious gifts for which he had braved the weather. They circled in her mind over and over.
She had tried to drown her depression in the food Issei had gotten her, but even her ever-faithful strawberry ice cream tasted like ashes in her mouth. The moment the spoon had touched her lips, her guilt formed another voice in her mind that she fought with.
How dare you even think about eating that?
'It's mine… clearly.' The frosted kitten made that obvious.
He bought it before he knew you were going to stab him in the back.
"I didn't mean to."
Will you even lie to yourself?
'I didn't want to hurt him.'
You wanted to destroy him. You just didn't want him to know about it.
'Not him… just…'
His chances with nee-sama.
She nodded to herself.
If he calls you a liar, she'll believe him.
'No she won't. We've been together for a long time.'
She loves him. Loves him in a way you can't compete with.
'She refuses to see he's not good for her.'
You refuse to see he's good for all of you. Why are you trying so hard to be blind? The voice of guilt changed to Rias' voice.
'What if he's only after your body?'
I told you; I'm a big girl. I can handle myself. Do you really think he's gone through everything just for a chance to touch me?
'I didn't but…'
Fear pushed you to ignore your instincts.
'He hurt me!'
You deserved it.
'He embarrassed me!'
As you did him.
'He had no right.'
The voice she fought with returned to her own. He protects you, he helped you unlock a part of yourself, and he protects your family. He might as well be your older brother. You never really had someone to parent you besides Rias-nee-sama, and she's too soft to punish you because she loves you and knows your past.
'Issei knows some of it too.'
But he can do what nee-sama can't.
'Hurt me.'
Teach us discipline. Isn't that why we trusted him when he said he would protect us from ourselves if we lost control of our senjutsu?
Koneko nodded once emphatically.
He kept your secret. Both of them.
'Both…'
He didn't tell her you twisted his words. And he didn't tell her he—
'Maybe he was afraid nee-sama wouldn't approve of him punishing me.'
She would do it herself, but she can't stand to see you cry. It breaks her heart.
'She called me a brat…maybe she would agree I needed it…"
You do. Look what you did, even after he tried to teach you to behave.
'I'm losing my mind… why am I arguing with myself?'
Because you don't have anyone but Issei to talk sense into you.
'So I'm scolding myself in place of him?'
You're scolding yourself because you know your bond with him is vital, and you're on the verge of destroying it because you're afraid.
'He was afraid too.'
But he didn't take it out on you. He—
'Shared his secrets with me…someone who has mostly treated him badly. And he bought me ice cream.'
You can't eat it till you make this right.
She sighed agreeing with herself.
'There's no way to make this right. What I've done… is unforgiveable. Not just gave away his secret fear but twisted it too, to make him look bad to someone he looked up to and was trying desperately to be worthy of.'
You're a bad girl.
Koneko gulped.
It won't fix it, but it's a start. It will at least prove that you are sorry.
Koneko nodded solemnly. 'Words are meaningless without action.'
She jumped up from her bed and nearly sprinted to her bureau. At the last second, she decided to grab her gifts and hurried to the kitchen.
***
Issei lay atop his bed staring at the ceiling. He'd given up trying to figure out what to tell Rias. He couldn't help focusing on Koneko's betrayal. I just…never saw it coming. It never occurred to him that she might use it against him. She's just a kid. Kids make mistakes. He reminded himself that she was a teenager, and kid or not, she had the choice.
His anger was building. No matter how he tried to make excuses for her, he always came back to her having a choice. So do I. I didn't tell anyone about spanking her. I didn't want her to be embarrassed around the other girls. They mostly treat her like a child already. He glared at the ceiling. I won't tell Rias she twisted my words either. Maybe I can convince her that Koneko misunderstood.
"Damn it," he said aloud. "Why am I trying to protect her even now!"
Through his private monologue, he didn't hear the soft footsteps approach his door, but he did hear a soft knock.
"I'm not really in the mood for company." He called calmly thinking it might be Akeno or Asia. Rias would stay true to her word giving him time till he came to see her. He liked that about her. She knew when he needed space.
The handle turned almost silently; the door inched open. Issei cursed himself for not asking Rias to teach him how to seal doors.
"Listen," he began irritably tilting his head toward the door. "I'm really n…" He trailed off when his eyes met Koneko's.
She was standing in his door way, in nekomata form. Her normally blazing eyes were soft and vulnerable. Issei's gaze swept across her snow-white cat ears with tinged pink insides blending almost seamlessly into her equally pure hair. Her pupils had narrowed and reshaped as vertical ellipses. She was still wearing the oversized white shirt, her typical pajamas, from this morning. Peeking out from the shirt's bottom, her tail swished back and forth trailing behind her.
Issei stared at her wondering how she found the nerve to come to his room, and then to enter without permission on top of it. Why is she in nekomata? Is this some sort of attempt to gain sympathy?
"I-I-s-ssei-senpai?" she asked in a very small voice.
He wanted to yell at her, to ask how she dared to speak to him after what she'd done. But he couldn't. Damnit. She looks so fragile. I'm such a sucker. He decided he would not answer her. He turned his head away from her fuming but kept her just inside the corner of his vision.
When he turned, her ears lowered. Her knees trembled slightly. Her tail which had been curling and uncurling nervously drooped to the floor behind her.
She licked her lips and tried again. "Iss—!"
"What do you want, Koneko?" he cut her off.
She took a step back. "I just…just wanted t-to say—"
"'Sorry' isn't quite going to cut it on this one. If that's all…you can go."
He turned his back to her and listened for the sound of the closing door. It never came. Instead a few moments later, he felt a soft tug on his pant leg.
He jerked slightly in surprise and rolled over to face her. At this distance, he could see evidence of recent tears in her slightly puffy eyes. Though he reluctantly gave her credit for at least feeling bad, he wasn't ready to forgive her yet. Being sorry isn't enough to fix betrayal, Koneko. He thought but refrained from saying.
He let out an irritated breath that she didn't just say whatever would assuage her guilt and go. He was about to say as much when something in her gaze stopped him. Her eyes glowed golden with determination even while filled with trepidation. He felt as though he could destroy her with a word, while simultaneously appraising a fire of conviction within her.
She waited until she knew she had his full attention. Then forcing her eyes to remain locked on his, she reached down with trembling hands under her shirt. He could see her hips shimmy slightly. When they reappeared, she held a pair of cotton panties in her unsteady fingers. She held them out to him.
Issei frowned confused. He felt like this were some sort of trap until something caught his attention. Her panties were speckled with little blue cat paws. All at once he understood. Her determination, her fear, and what had given her the brazenness to come into his room.
He reached out slowly and took her panties from her trembling hands as his words flashed through both of their minds simultaneously: "Don't think the kitties will protect you next time!"
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein