Kapitel 2: a Familial Addiction
Talia prompts the lulling voices around her to keep talking. The rowdy noises lure her deeper into the welcoming hands of dark sleep. Like white noise. She buries her face deeper into her arms, the heavy weight of exhaustion suffocating her. She didn't arrive home until late morning and even then, she couldn't get much sleep what with the shivers that her dad was getting all night. The pained crying too. Her mother was, of course, nowhere to be seen.
Sometimes she wishes Nicholas didn't decide to live on campus and leave her behind to handle the family saga.
When it starts growing quiet around her, she scowls. Why is the class getting quiet? Quickly, she blinks her eyes open and the bitter burn that lingers behind makes her regret working all night. The pay is going to be good. That's what kept her going.
"Inina, wake Talia up please."
Hearing her name, she peeks her head up from her arms.
Inina's hand is already touching her shoulder, but when she sees that she's already awake she doesn't bother shaking her awake.
She rubs the heel of her hand into her eye and sits up, blinking against the bright glare of the sun. Mrs Huygens watches her warningly, throwing her the I'm watching you gesture. Her lips stretch tiredly and she buries her chin into her chest, hiding the heat rising onto her cheeks.
"Hey," she turns to Inina when she calls her and she doesn't miss the concern in her gaze, "is everything okay at home? With… you know?"
She shakes her head, hoping Inina dismisses the questions. She knows better than to speak about her dad at school.
She'll tell her later on when they're not surrounded by a bunch of rich, privileged, little snobs who she doesn't want to know about her domestic situation.
Inina seems to get the hint when she nods understandingly and she's grateful that even being a rich, privileged, little snob, Inina's someone she can talk to without feeling like she's screwing herself over. She's glad that she has a friend like her. Inina knows the gist of her life well. Well, the bits and pieces that she was not ashamed to share. Like the fact that she and her brother are only able to afford being in this university, because of the scholarships.
"I'm about to pass out the tests you wrote yesterday," Mrs Huygens announces.
The entire class groans irritably.
"Yes, that's the same noise your TA was making last night while she was marking your tests. Have I taught you nothing? Have I just been standing here, bleating this entire time?" she demands, whilst passing out the tests.
She watches as people immediately turn their papers around, forcing their marks to kiss the table. When Mrs Huygens passes by Inina and her, she hands her both their test papers. She quickly passes Inina's test to her. Inina smiles in pride.
As she moves along, Mrs Huygens whispers a soft, "Well done, you two," with a pat on her shoulder.
A smile stretches over her lips as she glances at the circled ninety eight written in bloody red. Turning her paper over to hide her grade, she has to purse her lip to hide her pride. There was never any doubt in her mind. The test was that easy… if you studied your theory, that is.
"Hey, Talia," Cleo whisper-shout behind her, kicking the back of her chair.
A frown springs onto her face instinctively, but before turning around, she forces a smile onto her face. She looks over her shoulder to face her and Cleo has a triumphant glint in her electric blue eyes. She almost furrows her brows in confusion when she notices the pride staining her face and after taking a quick peek down at her test, she is filled with even more bemusement. That's nothing to be proud of.
"Why're you smiling, you fuck?"
Okay…
She resists the urge to roll her eyes and drops her smile.
Cleo then holds her hand out with an expectant look on her face.
"What?" she asks her even though she already knows what she wants.
"You know what," Cleo answers in irritation and narrows her eyes at her playing dumb. "Give it. I need to study from it."
"Maybe you should try rubbing your last two remaining brain cells harder against each other and stop trying so hard to be a stupid cunt," Inina mutters under her breath and she can't contain the amused snort that escapes her.
"Shut the fuck up, Inina," Cleo sneers angrily.
When she glances back at her, she has to clear her throat to tame her expression back to neutrality.
Cleo is one of the prettiest girls she has ever laid her eyes on; has the body of a supermodel too. Paired with her flawless body are these electric blue eyes which almost match the colour of the sea when the sun is glistening on it. Only they hold a lot of arrogance and menace. Her locks are raven black, always resting on her shoulders.
The students at this university don't want to classify her as a bully and sometimes, neither does she, because she doesn't match the description of her predecessors.
The bully, in her eyes, is normally huge and, stereotypically, someone stuck with a high school mentality. Cleo is neither huge nor is she a high school student… mentally, she might be. She especially hates the cyberbullying. Last week, she posted a picture of her on Twitter and turned her into a meme.
Honestly, she thought that these types of things only happen in the movies and the novels.
Where the bystander gets bullied, because some obnoxious boy likes her and does not want to show it. The school's most popular girl bullies her with her two spawns who lack a single neuron because the popular girl is infatuated with said boy who's paying way too much attention to plain old Jane. Only in her story, nobody likes the bystander. In fact, she doesn't think there's only one particular obnoxious boy in this university.
Nicholas Laufenberg, her brother probably has different types of herpes. His friend Delores too.
Dejectedly, she sighs and her shoulders slump as hands her test to her.
"Thank you." Cleo smiles, mockingly.
When she turns back to face the front, Inina asks irritably, "Why do you even entertain her?"
"I'd rather this than," she pauses for emphasis already thinking of the alternative, "what she did to Faye."
"When you really think about it though," Inina starts and she watches her, waiting for her next words, "what she did to Faye is like closely competing with being borderline psychotic."
She doesn't even need much convincing.
It's true.
And I don't want to end up like Faye.
After the class is dismissed by the lecturer, she waits in the long hallway for Inina who's having a conversation with the lecturer in the room about signing up to be a TA the following semester. She would sign up too, but she already has a lot on her plate. Between university, her part-time job at Le Manoir aux Quat' Saisons and looking after her dad, she can't seem to find any time to slot being a teaching assistant in her busy schedule.
Maybe if Nicholas comes back home instead of staying on campus, they can rotate looking after their father.
But she can't see Nicholas compromising like that. The moment he found out that the scholarship covers accommodation too, he packed his bags almost immediately and was out of the house as quickly as humanly possible. Before he left, he tried to tell her to come with him. He laid it on thick that they didn't need their "shitty parents" anymore and it wasn't their responsibility to care for them. His persistence almost convinced her. Almost.
She couldn't help the guilt that sat on her chest at the thought of abandoning her dad at a time like this. Her mum? Sure, but not her dad.
She hears Cleo's piercing laughter coming from somewhere within the hallway and throwing her head over her shoulder, she spots her with one of her best friends, Brandy. She can recognise that nocturnal, long hair from anywhere. Her gaze travels all over Brandy's petite frame and when her heart beats out of her chest rhythmically, she wonders whether that means she still has that crush on her. It's stupid, really, but it would be just like her to fall for someone close to her tormentor.
Her eyes widen when Cleo's cold gaze lands on her and she quickly averts her gaze. Even when she's no longer staring in her direction, she can still feel the fervent, piercing stare burning into her hatefully.
Sometimes she wishes she knew what it was that she did to make Cleo's resentment for her grow to the point of her forcing her to give her assignments—which she's pretty sure she can do on her own. Then again, maybe she doesn't hate her. Maybe Cleo's just lazy. The thing is, every single person has potential in them. They have the potential for intelligence and for that potential to sprout, they need to exert themselves. They need to turn that potential given to them, into actuality. An actuality of agility.
Jesus, Edgar Allan Poe would be proud of that monologue.
Cautiously, she takes a peek up at Brandy again and this time Cleo isn't glowering at her, but Brandy is surprisingly, looking in her direction too. When the Asian girl stretches a tiny, friendly grin onto her face and waves at her, she feels her face warming up. Timidly, she raises her hand and waves back. Brandy's grin widens and she doesn't miss the mischievous sparkle that plays around in her eyes before she spins on her heels and follows after Cleo.
The loudness of thumping in her ears is only recognised later on as her heart.
"Argh," she hears Inina, her warm bubble bursting and glancing over at her friend, she sees the familiar look of disgust on her face. "Please don't tell me you still have that weird infatuation for Brandy."
"You have a funny way of saying the word crush," she replies, leaning off the wall. "What did Mrs Huygens say?"
"She said if I keep up the marks I'm getting now by the end of the semester, she'll see what she can do. Honestly, I think it's a guarantee I'm getting that TA job."
"I don't get why you want to be a TA. It's not like you need the money. You make enough from the fights."
It's true. Inina Iotia is one of the richest friends she has ever had. Then again, that's not saying a lot since most of her friends come from poor or… comfortable backgrounds. Inina's one of the students who instead of getting a cheap dorm on campus would much rather rent an expensive apartment outside of campus. She even invited her to stay with her free of charge, trying to do the same for her as Nicholas. Get her out of the house. Inina said the same things that her brother said: Not her responsibility.
She turned the offer down, of course.
"I mean, if the fighting gig doesn't work out, I want something to fall back on just in case. I don't think my parents are willing to pay for my apartment after I told them that I didn't want to become a Nuclear Engineer. Just because they're both in that field of work, doesn't mean I also want to follow in their footsteps too, you know?"
She nods, pretending to not have heard this before.
"You know," Inina starts, "if you wanted to, I'm pretty sure Mrs Huygens wouldn't mind making you a TA too."
"I don't think I'll have the time," she rejects the idea, shaking her head.
"I mean, maybe by the end of the semester your dad would've," Inina pauses and looks around for any prying ears and, when she doesn't spot any, she discretely leans into her to whisper, "maybe he would've gotten better by then."
Unknowingly, she lifts her shoulder and purses her lips. Hopefully, her dad will have gotten better by the end of the semester, who knows?
"Talia," she hears a familiar voice calling her and she looks over her shoulder to see her brother running through the throngs of students.
"Argh, not Nicholas," Inina groans and after giving her a side hug, she says, "Bye."
Inina rushes away before Nicholas can reach her and when her brother sees her friend's retreating form, he frowns in bemusement.
"Why is she running away like I have herpes or some shit?" Nicholas questions, an insulted look on his face.
"With the number of girls you sleep with, you may as well have herpes, Nick," she teasingly says.
"That's no way to speak to your older brother, Talia," he reprimands, hiding the humour in his smile. "Anyway, how are you doing?"
"I'm fine."
"And Dad? How's he?"
She is glad that Nicholas still cares enough to ask about their father's well-being. As hard as he tries to convince Talia to leave the house whenever he gets the opportunity to, he still checks up on them as much as he can.
"He was shivering a lot more last night when I came back home from work."
"That explains the racoon look you're going for today," he mockingly says, pressing his fingers into the bags underneath her eyes. Her stare is blank and unimpressed as she zeroes in on him. "Where was Mum?"
"I don't know. Guy number fifteen's house?"
After raising her eyebrows in agreement, as if to silently say that he wouldn't be surprised if he heard from somewhere that their mum was laying in another man's bed, Nicholas wears a sympathetic expression.
"If you really want me to come back home, you can ask me to and, I'll do it in a heartbeat, you know that, right? Even if Delores might kill me for ditching him."
She feels guilty for making him feel like he even has to consider moving back. "I know, but I want you to move back home because you want to; not because you feel obligated to."
"I can't lie, Talia, I don't think I'll ever want to move back into that house. Ever since I left, I feel like a new person, almost like the weight I had been carrying over the years got lifted," he says to her.
She bobs her head up and down understandingly.
"But I'm also seeing what that weight is doing to you and I want you to get out of that hole, little sister. You don't owe them anything. You don't have to stay."
"I know," her voice is so tiny when she responds and she's surprised that he even caught that.
"You're not gonna leave, are you?" Nicholas knows her too well. With an exasperated sigh, he adds, "Okay. Try and get some sleep. I love you."
Her lips tug up softly. "Ew."
He chuckles and after pulling her in for a hug, he jogs back in the direction he came from.
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein