Harry Potter and Grindelwald's Heir

LV 4

Jccr

To begin with congratulations to the author for such an interesting start, and for planting such a "unique" mc construction. Now having so few chapters makes it hard to judge a story at first, so many times what starts out as something spectacular turns to crap. So in this review I will try from my experience as a reader of a lot of Harry Potter stories to give some parameters of what in my opinion differentiates a mediocre story from a good one. First is the beginning of a "villain" story, which is something that is rarely handled well, usually due to a lack of resistance to criticism from the authors. My advice if you are going to make a Grindelwald type character is not to do it half-heartedly, he has to be charismatic, manipulative, with a superiority complex, a bit detached from emotions and cruel. All of these characteristics have to be realistic and consistent, they can't be changed abruptly on a whim since the mc already had those characteristics at a young age. The second recommendation is to keep in mind that neither children are too smart nor adults are too dumb so the characters must be realistic, all adults cannot be easily manipulated nor can all children be naive, in other words use nuances. Third tip, and in my opinion what makes a story turn to shit. The world building should be "realistic" following the parameters Rowling builds in the Harry Potter world and innovating within them, in other words, no multi-verse travel, no talking dragons, or mystical powers of the founders, no Chinese novel type cultivation, no magical core, no accelerated growth, no mc being able to command adults as a child or teenager no matter how powerful he is (beware that this is a very common mistake), or that he is more powerful than Dumbledore in his first 5 or 6 years, etc. The important thing in my opinion is to plan the story well and have coherence with the world you are trying to raise, for example, Grindelwald is very hated by most in the magical world especially in the continent so being related to him is very dangerous so going to Hogwarts in a magical country where much of the high society is xenophobic and society is closed, besides being a breeding ground for young followers (as Voldemort did before he became a moron) is the right explanation why not to go to Dumstrang, a place where grandchildren of people killed by Grindelwald go. The last tip is don't rush the story, it has potential, many people will not like it and they are very vocal about it, but I assure you that many people like me like a cruel story, the one of a real villain, don't soften it to the (Mc). I also hope you don't concentrate on making the mc op give him time, he can be a genius but in life everything is time, no one can study 24 hours a day. This type of character should use politics like Tom Ridle in his time, concentrating on the young in, on the student body, adults do not follow children no matter how mature or powerful they are, is something to be proud of. Lastly don't forget Grindelwald is being hunted. Good luck with the story and to emphasize this is just my opinion and you don't have to follow it or share it. Lastly, I don't speak English very well so I translated it, sorry if I don't understand something very well.

LV 2

FrenchViking

Of course, as an obnoxious 9 year old would do, I made a 5 star review. Disclaimer: The story needs to be edited and re-written, I'm just posting drafts since I want to know if people are interested in the story and if the story itself has potential. Good day.

LV 14

Brezer

always thought grindelwald's period of time was the best in the potter verse. I am very glad you started this and I hope you stay with it. there is so much you can do with this. so far the story is great. from the start it pulls you in and grabs your attention . I always felt grindelwald went to easy. from numerous fics that have speculated , from him being wore out after fighting over 100 auroras and duba dub pretty much catching him tired to grindelwald having a vision that even if he won the fight he would lose at the cost of great life so he just gave up. grindelwald was not your typical dark lord villian, he researched everything and planned everything out and for him to be imprisoned in his own castle he built was just idiotic as the story shows, he knew everything about the place there is no reason he couldn't escape. anyway my rant is over lol. the story is great so far and if he keeps it up it should be an excellent read.

LV 4

DeathEater

I have two things to say, first I love this novel. Second, is this novel dropped? If this novels is dropped, I will cry...If this novels is dropped, I will cry...If this novels is dropped, I will cry...If this novels is dropped, I will cry...If this novels is dropped, I will cry...If this novels is dropped, I will cry...If this novels is dropped, I will cry...

LV 2

AzureFlame0

Amazing book so far author! Love how you didn't follow the same plot as all the other hp fan fics can't wait for more :D ...................

LV 3

chakibo

This is Good I hope you do not drop it and release chapters faster

LV 14

Mohd_Zulhilmi_90

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LV 4

carloschingakham

i think it will be a good story if you keep writing it ... I hope that you will continue on writing till it is finished..😀😀😀😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

LV 10

PringleEater

I would like to congratulate the author on this story, true there is only a few chapters posted, but the grammar, punctuation and vocabulary is good. And then the approach of a Grindelwald Heir is also interesting, very few are done and very few are done well. So good luck! and don't stop!

LV 3

YoucanCallmeVENTI

Excellently written besides the few grammar parts. I love the background story. I always wanted to know why grindelwald never escaped numengard like he could do it with the flick of his hand. Keep it up and pls maintain update stability

LV 14

skorwolf

Excellente book with great character building and good concept. Overall good grammar and it s an enjoyable reading. Hope u keep writing and have fun with it

LV 5

Archonstine

This story is wonderfully written till now and I hope the quality remains the same throughout. There are hardly any grammatical mistakes and the premise is rather intriguing.

LV 4

SGTHAWK

great story altogether we don't know much about the update or development because it brand new but if you like harry potter the read this this is for the word count................................................................................................................................................................

LV 4

Hellno1

Really good, it showed promise. I am sad to see that it was 2 years since last update.

LV 14

Newcomer_scorpio

Great fanfiction, chapters more often❤️❤️[img=update][img=update][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]

LV 4

Amarilys

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LV 4

Thiarha

Seriuously, this Fanfic is really Good, like MC is Grindelwald Grandson which i never seem before and MC is Anti-hero. The writing quality is good enough to read with google translate

LV 3

I_eat_potatoes

good goood goooood *************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************