Kapitel 32: Thought-30-The Slightest Distance
It seems no matter how many times I connect with someone I can't seem to keep them.
The connection I form with someone seems so strong, Yet not long after I start to feel just the slightest distance.
A small disconnection between us, It seems like nothing but that distance can seem so wide.
I struggle to keep our bond the way it was when we first met, Good morning, good evening, good night, how was your day, did you sleep well, what did you do.
Question after question as I try to relate. To do something, anything besides nothing is better.
And yet what we just had just fades, It wilts like a flower.
And I'm alone again, desperately searching for someone that can fill me with meaning.
But I know in the end for them to be truly happy in order for me to fulfil my purpose I have to leave.
I'm not the best friend I am no miracle worker, I can give you my advice and I can be there to support you no matter what you decide on.
That's all I can promise.
That distance seems to span infinity, No matter how far we go it always seems like we run into a blackhole.
Our bonds are so strong to me but they're so delicate to the world around us.
The purpose in my life is to make sure others are happy, even if I have to forsake my own happiness.
It makes me regret learning how to love, maybe the machine at once was was better.
Everyone's broken in some way or another, Love can help fill some of the gaps.
So whenever I find one of these people I love them, and I leave a bit of myself behind to help fill in the cracks.
I can't fix people no one can, and it would be insensitive to say that I want to fix people.
I just want to help people fix themselves, hand people the tools they need to do it.
I'm merely a tool to help, nothing more and nothing less.
So I'm guessing that this distance is created when I'm no longer needed, why use a philips head screwdriver when you need a wrench?
I understand, It doesn't make it hurt any less.
Maybe I'm just too sensitive, perhaps my view is that of a child.
But now I can only wonder when that slight distance will be everywhere, and I'll finally be completely alone; completely abandoned and isolated.
Maybe when I finally get there, I'll find what I've been looking for this entire time.
I never know whether this slight distance is good or bad until I've reached the end.
I bear no hatred towards those left me.
In a way, even though they took a part of me, they made me feel whole.
That's all I ever wanted.
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein