Kapitel 46: The Painful Truth

Miracle's POV

I keep awake, and no matter how I try to sleep, I can't just do it. I take the first move, and I can't face Jaxson for what I did. And the worst part, Jace King saw me running from Jaxson's room.

Why my life became so complicated. I am so confused about what I want anymore. I hate thinking Jace is having a wonderful night with his girlfriend. I hate him for hurting me, and why I feel so guilty when he saw me a while ago. There is nothing between us, and I don't want him to continue hurting my feelings.

The sound of my alarm wakes me up and when I look at my clock, it is still six in the morning, I still felt groggy and I didn't expect to fall asleep, maybe at the end, my body and mind gave in.

I stand up and jogged to release all the stress I felt. I choose my high waist spandex leggings and a halter tank top. I get my running shoes from the shoe cabinet. I am glad that I already unpacked my clothes and hang it on the wardrobe cabinet; it feels satisfying to do it on my own.

My grandma asked the housemaid to do the unpacking, but I told her I will do it myself, and she even raised her eyebrows. I am proud of myself now, running away from home taught me so many lessons.

I run towards the creek since I love the rough trails and I wanted to watch the sunrise. I already reached the vineyard, and I am on my way to the creek when I come across Jax. He is so handsome wearing his jogging clothes, and I suddenly blushed, remembering what happened last night in his room.

I can look at his tank-top that fits his body perfectly and I can't stop myself to imagine the six-pack beneath his sleeveless shirt. I think I am going crazy, or I am just trying to reconnect the past since I had been fantasizing to face him again until I met Jace King.

"Good morning, Miracle! I didn't know you planned to sprint, I should have waited for you so we can jog together." Jax greeted me with his beautiful smile, and his hazel brown eyes are still hypnotizing.

I recall the first moment we meet and talk on the beach. He was already tall back then, and I think he became taller by two inches that I am looking up at him. Jax loves music, reading, and playing the guitar, I look back on all those things about him, and I hate myself why I relive all of it now.

"Are you alright?" Jaxson asked me.

"Yes! And why, you ask?"

"Well, last night you seemed so upset that you even allow me to kiss you." Jax said, and I blushed, I don't expect him to bring it up, maybe he wants some clarifications, and he is expecting something from me.

"I apologized about last midnight, Jaxson, I should have not run away from you after we made out, I kissed you because I want to, but it doesn't mean I will take another chance with you, last night I was confused." I said, and I almost stutter.

"Well, fair enough, I couldn't say you didn't like the kissed since I heard you moaned." He answered and winked at me that caused my face felt warm.

"I still love kissing you, Miracle, and I will take a risk just to have another chance with you. I just want you to know, I won't stop and I will make it sure that you will fall in love with me again." He said and I could not help but be stunned by what I heard.

He made me speechless as he moved closer to me until we are an inch apart from each other and I can smell his sweet natural masculine scent.

"I need to go ahead now since I have so many things to do, yet I prefer to taste your lips this early morning, Miracle." He said in a husky voice.

Then he bent down and cupped my face and claimed my mouth. Jaxson kissed me passionately that I couldn't stop myself to kiss him back eagerly, then suddenly I pushed him away because I don't want to lead him on.

But I can't deny that there is a part of me that wants him since I know I couldn't have Jace in my life. Am I that weak and pathetic? I hate myself why I turned into a selfish bitch and a user. I used to go for this man in front of me, but right now I don't even know what I felt. Do I want them both? Or I am only trying to mend my broken heart.

"Wow! You kissed me back and you pushed me away, you became so different now, the Miracle I know was gone, nevertheless, I still love you. Even though you are giving me mixed signals I will not surrender Mira, until you begged me to stop loving you.

Maybe that is the time I will try my best to forget you. I can sense there is someone who broke your heart; if you want to, I can help you, Miracle, just give me a chance. You love me once, and I am sure you will love me again." He said and turned his back on me.

Jaxson is right I am giving him mixed signs since I don't even know what I want anymore. His offer is so tempting and I know Jax can help me forget Jace, but I don't want us to get hurt at the end. I can't deny I still feel butterflies on my chest every time we kiss.

What am I going to do with you, Jaxson John? I remained standing, looking at the back figure of Jaxson getting smaller while he jogged back to the manor. I am about to jog when I saw Jace standing next to me, I didn't even notice that he arrived. Judging by his appearance, he had been running for over thirty minutes.

"Wow! It seems your night escapade with the engineer is not enough, you continue it in broad daylight, I thought you had a misunderstanding last night." Jace said flatly, I can't decipher his expression.

"It is none of your business, Jace Dylan King if I will kiss and make love with Jaxson." I spoke and I can see that his face darkened.

"What did you call him? Jaxson? As in your ex-boyfriend?" He said.

"Yes! You didn't know he is Jaxson John? And yes, you are correct, he was my ex-boyfriend slashed my first love." I replied and I can see the horror that registered on his face.

"For the record, Miracle, I don't care if you will have sex with him, that is your personal affair, yet I am doing my job as your bodyguard he cheated and used you once." He declared.

My eyes glaze over at him, I can understand why Jace looks so angry and I can see the rapid beating of his heart or it was because he was running, but I can tell his mood was ruined the moment I mentioned Jaxson's name.

"I shared my secrets with you, Jace because I trusted you, not because I want you to use it against me." I said and I can't hide the rage that I felt towards him.

"Miss Miracle, I am only looking out for you, I don't want you to get hurt at the end." He answered, and I noticed his voice become calmer, and he is watching at me differently, and I am afraid of what I see in his eyes.

"You don't want me to get hurt? Do you know what you are talking about, Jace king? You don't realize you injure me in so many ways already, now you don't have any right to say anything regarding my relationship with Jax since you even pain me more." I replied to him and I hate myself for telling him everything.

"I don't understand in which manner that I injure you, Miss Miracle?" He demanded, and it made me angrier.

"You better asked yourself, Jace."

"Tell me, so I will know what I have done bad to you." He urged me again.

"You didn't inform me, you have a girlfriend." At last, I said it.

"Well, you didn't ask, and I already told you all about her, we are not in a romantic relationship, Ms. Miracle, so I think I have acted nothing unjust to you, and bear it in your mind, I am not your boyfriend and you know I informed your dad I am not interested in you." He replied coldly.

"I made it clear from the beginning at the selection ceremony. I guessed my conscience is clear. Besides, there is nothing between us." He added, and my entire world is spinning. What he claimed is below the belt.

I could never forgive him, he knows that I love him since I confessed to him, yet he uttered those words in front of me, to make me realize I am nobody to him.

"Yeah! You are correct, Jace, and don't worry even in my dreams I will not accept you as my boyfriend." I responded and turn away from him, I don't want him to know that I am crying. I can no longer see the path I am taking since I can't control my tears from falling. Jace King is heartless, and he doesn't deserve the devotion that I felt.

All he stated was true, still, it was too awful to hear. The painful truth is I still care for him no matter how his hurtful words pierced my heart; yet he has no right to hurt me this way.

Jace was too much, he is arrogant and self-centered, and I realized all the things I told my dad on the first day I met Jace during the selection were all true. How I wished my father didn't hire him at all; maybe if I haven't met him I won't experience this kind of agony.