I had a dream. A very sweet dream.
The dream was so beautiful that I never wanted to wake up.
She was just next to me, the one whom I loved more than anyone else.
Being together with her was just a dream, but I was happier than anyone else.
Because…
I couldn't feel her warmth anymore. I could no longer touch her soft hands or see her sweet smile.
I stumbled on my weak legs as I walked to the bathroom, turned on the light, and glanced at my reflection in the mirror.
Compared to other male college students in their prime, my complexion was haggard and lack of vitality. I looked like a walking dead, it wasn't even strange if I were to collapse at any moment.
Above all, the empty pupils made me realize how pitiful I was. The empty pupil was staring into space filled with nothing but emptiness and despair.
"...Shit."
I spat out curse and wiped the water from my eyes. I felt sorry for myself for doing this even though it had already been a year.
And at the same time, her last appearance and accident scene overlapped in my head, stimulating my head.
She was a beautiful and smart girl with a bright future ahead of her.
I studied like crazy to apply to the same university as her, who was superior to me.
Sometimes she even helped me with my studies, and we went on dates and studies at the same time. On weekends, we simply went to cafes or karaoke to relieve stress.
On the day of taking the final exam, to reward each other's efforts, we were delighted to receive grades sufficient to get into the colleges of our dreams.
The moment the college entrance exam was over, she and I hugged each other and ran around happily, and after going home, changing our clothes, we decided to meet again.
The image of her rejoicing at finally being able to enjoy a proper date seems to flicker before my eyes.
After changing clothes at home, she reached out to come to my house, which was right next to the crossing.
But fate seemed to play a joke on us.
When the traffic light turned green, a truck came out of the alley at a high speed and crashed into her body.
It was an instant death.
And at that moment, I was waving at her from the other side of the traffic light she was about to cross. What I saw in less than 3 seconds was nothing but red.
The horror of that fateful day was still lingering on my mind.
"...Urgh."
As I recalled that moment, I felt my stomach churned.
I bitterly realized that human's life was so fragile, that the person I loved could disappear in an instant.
Immediately after the accident, my leg was undone for a while, and it took a long time before I could get to her. Her body was already crushed and looked hideous to others, but not to me.
I wasn't a type of person who could easily shed tears, yet it gushed out like a waterfall as if trying to wrung me dry as I kneeled beside her remain.
I sobbed for a long time while holding her corpse, and when I came to my senses, I only remembered dragging out the unconscious truck driver and beating him to death.
I knew it later after hearing the results of the investigation that the driver was driving the wrong side of the alley to avoid the drunk driving crackdown.
By the time I heard that, I was so dumbfounded that laughter poured out of my mouth like a madman, muttering to myself that I should have killed the man.
I should've killed the man.
That fucker was deserve to die.
"...."
In the end, that bastard was sentenced to prison, but it was by no means a long period for killing one person. I sent her away, and for about a week I stopped eating and drinking.
'It wouldn't matter if I just died like this.'
That kind of thought often emerged in my mind as I shut myself in my room.
I started living in a dormitory from my 3rd year of high school, and after the exam was over, I came out of the dormitory and wandered around internet cafes, wasting away my life.
It was my younger sister who found me.
She found me at a local internet cafe, slapped me on the face as soon as she saw me and screamed.
I still can't erase that time from my memory.
'Acting like a spoiled kid.' I chuckled.
Yes, even though I usually growled at her like that, I have been alive until now thanks to my sister who came to look for me at that time. But still, even after that day, I didn't come back to my senses, but I still attended school.
No matter how much my sister worries about me, I didn't have any intention to come back home. Despite her relentless effort, I didn't manage to get back on my feet. But at least, I've stopped thinking about ending my life.
Of course, she decided to keep the incident a secret from our parents. Though, even if she did tell them, I don't think it would be of much help to me at that time.
So, I went to college alone. For a year, I managed to handle reports and assignments and acted as inconspicuously as possible.
I think I did my best not to inconvenience others in group assignments or events where I had to attend.
But that was all.
At other times, I spent my life like a cripple, staring blankly into the sky in my own room and doing nothing, and there was no one to stop me.
My younger sister didn't like me like that, but she was busy now that she was in her third year of high school, so he didn't have time to pay attention to me. She had her plate full just to take care of herself.
I've spent a year like that, and these days, the suicidal thoughts that had been buried deep in my mind started haunting me once again. No, I wish that this unreasonable world itself would perish.
When I realized how pathetic I had become, my fists unknowingly clenched.
I felt sorry for myself, so I washed my face lightly, changed my clothes, and prepared to leave.
I had nowhere else to go, but I felt like I was really going crazy if I stayed at home like this.
Since this world was not going to end, I should commit suicide.
I only thought of it for a moment before shivering as I imagine what would my fierce sister would do at that point. She might chase me to the hell and drag me back just to kill me again herself.
As I was changing my clothes, the intercom suddenly rang.
What is it, a taxi?
I thought about it and shook my head from side to side in denial.
'It can't be.'
My parents couldn't send me anything, and my sister couldn't find me today, which was a weekday. I carefully checked the screen of the intercom.
There was a man wearing a grotesque mask. He was standing in front of my house, taller than I was, and dressed in a black suit like a street magician.
"Who's there?"
The moment I asked, a scratchy hoarse voice echoed inside my head as if directly penetrating my mind.
[Don't you want to regain your unfulfilled dreams?]
"...."
I couldn't comprehend what happened to me. Head-splitting pain struck my head as if someone smashed my skull with a hammer. The pain didn't subside at the slightest even though I rubbed my temple the hardest I could do.
[I'll give you one chance. This is an opportunity given only to you.]
The man's voice sound playful, almost mocking, as though he could peer through the security camera to watch me suffer in pain.
What the hell is that crazy guy talking about? Was this a scam? If not, was it some kind of new crime? What's certain was that he definitely wasn't normal. It was clear he was either insane or on the verge of insanity.
[If you want to seize this moment that could be the turning point of your life, please open the door within one minute.]
What a joke. I might be pathetic but I wasn't a fool. I was still sane enough to open the door to a suspicious-looking guy...
I muttered that to myself, but at that moment, he spoke in a low voice as if he remembered something he had forgotten.
['Ji-yeon' asked me to deliver a message. 'I miss you'.]
Fuck.
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