Kapitel 4: Fruit of My Labor

I immediately declined the offer to 'relive' my life as ■■■. I had an ominous premonition that originated from the pits of my stomach, warning me against using the skill. Call me a coward, but I rather tread carefully now that I decided to live life to its fullest. And honestly, the skill rubbed me the wrong way.

All my life, I lived in a gray world filled with gray people. I know I didn't have the worst life, but life for me was torture. Every single day I woke up praying it would be my last. Now, I find out I had 'Countless Cursed Lives'? Doesn't that devalue my pain? If I 'relive' my past lives, wouldn't there be a chance I forget my grief?

I didn't want to forget myself or rather I didn't want to forget my sins, nor did I want to forget the people I hurt along the way… I don't deserve that right. Dismissing my rueful mood, I continued to inspect my status. After an indeterminate amount of time, I understood a little more about my status and the voice in my head.

The status was basically an extension of my mind. I didn't have a proper grasp on it yet, but the status contorted according to my will. For example, if I focused all my attention on getting more information about my curses, what little information available would immediately reveal itself. The voice—nicknamed Eve for convenience—worked in a similar manner. Though it wasn't some omniscient AI like in the movies I'd casually watch with Karl, it had features like summarizing or organizing status details I find useful in 'folders'.

And so, time passed by, all my attention seeping into the mysteries of the status. Eventually, I started feeling groggy, my eyes stinging with severe exhaustion. 'How long has it been? No less than three hours, I assume. Guess it's time to call it a night.' As I gave in to my new body's relentless need for sleep, I heard footsteps and soft murmuring slowly approach the dimly lit room.

I shut my eyes and listened to the voices that were becoming more apparent as the footsteps became louder.

"Why don't you admit it already?" I heard the voice of the mysterious woman. She sounded more cheerful than usual. Her voice was accompanied by the sound of stone grinding gently against the floor and bright light that reddened my shut eyelids. "You missed them, didn't you, darling?"

"Sure, I will admit it. I missed my daughter," replied another voice bluntly. The voice was deeper and registered far more clearly in my ears than that of the mysterious woman's, it was clear that it belonged to a man. "Why would I miss a future cold-blooded warrior?"

Feeling a pinching sensation on my cheek, I decided it was the right time to 'wake up'. I opened my eyes and gazed around curiously. The first thing my eyes were drawn to was the source of the masculine voice, a pale-skinned man with a stern expression plastered on his face, long green hair, and outfitted in silver lightweight armor. His stern expression softened considerably as he continued to lift and cuddle my 'sister' in his arms, further highlighting his beautif—handsome features.

He passed an apathetic glance toward me with his emerald eyes for an instant, seemingly disinterested, before returning his attention to the infant in his arms. 'Seriously, how can a grown man be so ridiculously feminine! Is that my fate…? please don't be my biological father… no, he can't be...' I couldn't help but weep silently at the thought.

"Adon, stop being so old-fashioned," the mysterious woman said, shaking her head in utter exasperation. It seemed she noticed my foul mood. "You're upsetting the baby," she said, glaring fiercely at Adon.

"… that's just how I was raised," Adon rebutted. "You know this, Cyriel."

However, the mysterious woman—Cyriel—wasn't having any of it. She smiled coldly before muttering a single word, "Adon."

An loud hiccup left Adon's lips. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before shutting his jaw tightly. 'Poor guy,' seeing him shudder and shrink back at Cyriel's current demeanor. Pity was all I could offer Adon. Not only was he incredibly feminine, but it also turned out his woman wore the pants in the house.

Nothing interesting happened after that. The two continued bickering—like the married couple they were—but I could tell they genuinely loved each other. And it turned out Adon really was my biological father. I also found out my 'sister's' name was Alice. The infant began wailing like she was bitten by an army of red ants the second she woke up. Her screeches loud enough to rival what I went through in hell.

She only calmed down when Cyriel and Adon placed us in a playpen that was situated in the room next door, which also served as the couple's bedroom chamber. There wasn't much in the homemade playpen, just a few wooden dolls. I initially doubted the couple's sanity when they brought babies that didn't seem older than three months here, but they knew best apparently.

I dozed off a few minutes after being brought to the room, but not before noticing the walls and floors of the house were made of ice. At first, I thought it was glass because of the faint heat radiating off it. However, upon further inspection, I realized that wasn't the case. At this point, I couldn't even be surprised. After all, my 'father' was walking around clad in armor with a sword strapped to his waist, and my mother emitted green light from her hands… 'It must be magic,' I convinced myself.

***

The following days were boring, to say the least. I had zero control over my bodily functions, so I had to suffer a new form of humiliation every time I had to empty my bladder or have a bowel movement. My guilt soared whenever Cyriel paid any sort of attention to me, fortifying my imprisonment in this body into a full-on torture asylum.

Nevertheless, life was peaceful, and I also figured out a new function of the status screen. If I commanded it with enough determination, Eve would be able to scan the 'past lives' for information based on what I find useful. The current search criterion is 'absorbing mana', unfortunately, this ability has its limits. I couldn't search for more than one name at a time and it was only possible to scan the names listed in white. The duration of a single search was also far from ideal as it ranged from four to ten hours.

Eve searched about eight lives for clues but found nothing useful. I still had twelve days to complete my first 'quest', but my frustration was getting the best of me. I could feel myself getting more impatient every time I opened my full status and saw the words 'failure will result in soul corrosion' written in jarring, bolded characters.

The only progress I was able to make was getting my intelligence stat to fourteen. Not that I felt any different after that. As time went on, I considered giving up and consenting to soul corrosion. I couldn't even remember why I was trying so hard in the first place, because of the wishful plan of fixing my mistakes? That was impossible, I knew that.

In the end, I did what I always did, running away from anything I considered bothersome or too painful to bear.

Time elapsed quickly after my decision to quit. It was the final day of the quest and I hadn't made any progress. In the dimly lit chamber, all I could hear was Alice's faint and rhythmic breathing as I blankly stared at the status screen.

Current Quests:

Accept & absorb ambient mana: Incomplete [0:0:04]

'I'm tired…'

[0:0:03]

'I knew, I didn't deserve a second chance…'

[0:0:02]

I gulped down a mouthful of drool.

[0:0:01]

I felt my heart pulsate in my throat as I tightly shut my eyes, bracing for the inevitable.

[0:0:0]

[The Goddess watching over you expresses her disappointment.]

[Starting Soul Corrosion for the failure of the quest.]

It started with a gentle, tingling sensation at the tip of my fingers, then the skin on my hands began boiling. It hurt. A lot. However, that wasn't the end of my torment. In fact, it was just the beginning. Deep within my core, I felt 'something' tear into shreds and rot within me. My eyes rolled to the back of my skull as I choked on the foam oozing out of my mouth.

I couldn't even yelp out in pain as my throat stiffened, only inaudible croaking sounds escaped my mouth. The thin threads that were my lucidity snapped one by one, pushing me to the brink of insanity. I tried to escape by losing consciousness, but to no avail. I was forced to experience every second in agonizing detail.

"H-huh? A-A-A-Adoon…!!"

I didn't know how much time passed, perhaps an eternity… when I heard Cyriel's bloody scream echo throughout the room.