Kapitel 3: CHAPTER-2
My soul shattered at that point when I saw Jay kissing a random girl passionately in the balcony away from everyone else's eyes. It seemed like he was more conscious about his image rather than his deeds. It was way worse than telling his friends that how 'unattractive' I was nowadays. As the saying goes "actions speak louder than the words", his deeds reflected what he wanted. Only I was uncertain about what I wanted.
My pride and self-esteem were lying dead inside me because of the agony I had put them through. I was so engrossed in myself that I failed to notice that I was spotted by the cheater and his new flame, that was what I named them. Jay panicked and made his way towards me. I was numb.
For a moment I didn't know how to react, what to say, what to do. All the thoughts they just stilled. As I regained my senses, I saw jay standing close to me, confused and a little afraid. Maybe afraid of my reaction, what I was going to say, what I was going to do, how was I reacting. But I couldn't give him what he wanted, not now. I needed time, time to understand what was happening, what just happened. So, I did what I could have possibly done in this kind of situation, I ran. Away from him, from who made me fall, from people who wanted to see me fall, from everyone. I ran out of the apartment, to anywhere except home. Maybe it was time to change things, for instance changing the place I used to call home. I ran with all my might. I ran far away. I guess I was a good runner. I slowed until I was barely walking more like dragging myself. I saw an empty bus station ahead. I walked groggily towards the benches and sat there.
I knew what was coming, all those thoughts, emotions and the unnecessary ideas and situations came suddenly. It felt like a dam broke flooding my brain. I vented my emotions. I don't know for how long I cried but I cried my heart out. Some part in me knew it was coming, thinking more clearly, I saw all the signs but I ignored them. I believed that ignorance was bliss but I was wrong, it was better to cut out the roots before they start spreading. I started contemplating where it went wrong. Everything was going perfectly but suddenly everything went downhill. Was our relationship really that shallow? Was I really that unattractive? Was I really clueless? The answer was no. it was not like that but something changed between us. I just couldn't figure out what changed and most precisely what changed.
After grieving for my long dead relationship, I picked my broken hearts pieces. Feeling better than before oh who am I kidding, I was still feeling the same but I knew I had to get better as soon as possible.
I don't know how but I reached my old apartment. I still rented it even though I rarely went back here. Everything was the same as I had left it before moving in with jay. I didn't have time to think or do anything. I was beyond exhausted physically and mentally. I laid on the bed staring onto the ceiling. The room was shrouded in darkness. The stillness made my brain more awake. Millions of thoughts were rushing through my mind. Figments of the beautiful moments we shared were playing back to back. It felt like I was viewing my life from the past six years. It hurt so much. I just wanted to end this pain.
Somehow the night passed with my tears streaming down. At some point of time they even stopped. My eyes were dry with stinging pain. But it didn't bother me, the emotional pain I was feeling overpowered the physical pain. It seemed like I was adapting to the pain. It didn't hurt much like before, there was still dull ache in my heart. I closed my eyes once more to try to sleep as I always believed that everything will go back to normal. But I knew it was a vain dream. I will have to face my inner monsters at some point and I was merely delaying it.
I felt like I was floating through the sky, I felt so light, but my throat was burning slightly but it grew its intensity. Suddenly, the whole sky caught fire. It was burning everywhere. I was screaming and crying for help. Then I felt a soothing hand, caressing my forehead as if telling me to calm down. I felt better. The fire around me dampened down. Then I swifted back into my dreamland.
AUTORENGEDANKEN 
A_wandering_soul
A_wandering_soul Creation is hard, cheer me up!
Sorry for the late update. my life is going under some changes so its been a while since i updated any of my stories.
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