Kapitel 36: CHAPTER 36
Genesis's POV
Cleansed. Revitalized. Renewed.
Somewhere between the rhythm of the crashing waves and the gentle ocean breeze, I could feel my body release a week's worth of stress and anxiety. The ocean for me represents serenity, peace and gives me hope. It makes me feel lighter, makes me forget about everything else because what is more fascinating than the rising and falling of the tides? The rising and falling of tides reminds me how our life is. It's pretty much similar like the way we have ups and downs, the rise reminds us that the fall is not the end. It reminds me that there's a lot more of fight in me.
Just staring at the sea makes me drift into something peaceful. How it makes me wonder what could be beneath those blankets of water - possible some great mysterious creatures we've never heard of before. From the moment I accidentally stumbled upon this beach, I knew right away that we were going to get along just fine. I knew spot on we were going to share a deep connection. I often visit frequently and during those times, I feel the real purpose of life. I hear it in the waves, I feel it in the sand under my feet. When I look to the horizon, I see lights from far off boats with fishermen on board.
When I run along the beach, I see children waving at me, they sometimes run along with me and derive pleasure in beating me in a sprint. A dog most times chases me just for the sake of it, I reciprocate and chase it with some sand in my hand. I see tiny crabs running to the sea in such a rush as if to run away from all their troubles and just swim right on to the horizon. The beauty! So beautiful.
As I began my little journey back to my dorm from the beach, the sky turned a crimson red and Venus showed up. Indescribable serenity. Like everything bad could be solved if I just stepped into the ocean. My mind started to tease me, it told me that I could just dive into all that blue and swim all the way to that mystical place where the sky and the sea met but I knew I couldn't - no matter how bad I wanted to immerse my entire being into the calm waters. I just couldn't. The pad stuck in between my thighs trapped clotted blood which seeped out from my core. Unfamiliarly intolerable at the start of it, it wasn't a tad bit excruciating now.
It felt like I had just gone to hell and returned. At that moment of torture, I could feel my precious life slowly drifting away from me. Visions of heaven appeared before my very eyes and thoughts of finally going home surfaced in my thoughts. I never fell ill and when I did, it wasn't something more than the flu. 'Good health is underrated'. An overused phrase but now, I understood.
The next morning started with my head ducked inside the toilet while I spilled my guts out on an empty stomach. A deep feeling of relief followed right after. I never had the urge to re-visit the bathroom in that fashion till this present time. A week later and I was feeling a whole lot better. Much more better than I had ever been in a long while and hungry. So hungry I could eat a scabby horse because the last time I ate had been a really long time.
"It's finished. I downed the last." I stilled for a split second before letting go of the lid of the pizza box. I turned around and headed for my side of our small contained room without a word.
"Should I get you something on my way back from lectures?"
I shook my head.
"What about some chocolate frosted doughnuts?"
"No."
She groaned out in frustration, throwing her hands in the air. "Oh God! Genesis! Give me a break. Please! I'm trying here. You can't possibly be making faces at me at this time. It's over a week and I said I was sorry, okay? Get over it. I owned up to my shit and apologized. What more do you want? I promised to come back to you and I didn't and I explained I was too drunk to get back here. I'm sorry I..."
"I'm not upset with you about anything Lana. Please, don't make assumptions."
She narrowed her eyes at me in disbelief. "Then why have you been avoiding me lately like I've got some bad disease or something. You literally have been giving me the stink eye."
"I haven't been avoiding you. I just wanted to be myself."
She hissed and came forward. The space beside me dipped where she sat.
"Genesis, what's wrong? Tell me. I'm your friend, right?"
"There's nothing wrong."
She groaned. "Genesis seriously, I don't know...."
"I'm just...worried? Should I be? I think I should?"
She frowned. "Worried? Why?"
"Maybe he has been busy. I'll just go....go see him. Right? Should I?"
"See who? Genesis, I don't get it. Who are you gonna see?"
"Your brother. Keegan. I haven't seen him in a week and the line doesn't go through when I call. I sent some texts to him but he haven't replied any." My shoulders bobbed. "Perhaps, he has been busy and that's why he hasn't found the time to try to reach out to me." I looked up at her. "Right? He's busy, right?"
"Keegan? He hasn't been on school grounds for like days. Wait, he didn't tell you?"
What?
"He-he didn't tell me? Tell me what? He didn't tell me anything. We haven't spoken in forever."
"Look, I'm late already. We gonna talk when I get back, okay? I'm gonna give him a quick call on my way. Take care."
I watched her go while I pushed up to leave myself. Staying back in the dorm wasn't going to get me the answers that I needed.
***
My heart leaped out of my chest when the lady behind the counter suddenly slammed the base of the bottle water I had bought angrily on the table surface and pushed a crimson red apple to my front. She must have been furious while I mindlessly stood like an idiot, wasting her time while people waited to get through. I shuddered in shock as my mind slowly returned to earth. Gluing my eyes to the white, linoleum floors, I shakily grabbed the plastic bottle and cupped the fruit in my hands.
I made my way through the crowd, ignoring the sounds of excited chatter and hollers of students over the cafe as they conversed with their peers. I paid no mind as to the direction in which I was heading. I just let my limbs take the lead. With an apple and a bottle water in hand, I soughted for an empty table and chair, one I could have all to my self without any human presence or disturbances interfering with the bubble of isolations I was creating around myself.
Not until recently, the sudden desire to be alone and isolated from civilization was surprising even to myself but nevertheless, satisfying. I no longer loved the company of the people I used to spend my time with. I never craved space. I never craved solitude. I never wanted silence but coming back after almost falling off the face of the earth has renewed me with a new sense of life and purpose. As selfish as it sounded, I had to focus on myself and throw my thoughts and attention on what legitly mattered.
I bypassed Amelia and Michael by the vending machine, glad they didn't notice me and made my way to the lone table I had spotted two chairs away. I was few feets from my destination when I caught on a lone, muscled frame sitted far away from the rest of the throng of students and professors who had either come to have lunch or to purchase one thing or the other and leave with the aim of consuming elsewhere.
My heart thundered inside my rib cage as I took in the sight of him. Shrouded in complete black, he was alone and hunched in an air of despondency that seemed to cloud over his features. I refused to give it a second thought and chose to act on impulse instead. In a minute or two, I was standing over his table, my interest piqued by the wide areas of swollen, pale red bumps on his skin his hood which was drawn back had failed to conceal. It was scattered around his nape and discreetly hidden by the tresses that cascaded from his scalp. I knew the red whealts travelled across his chest and littered around his body. Memories of the night I had a front view of his entire body and the outbreak of plaques on his skin flashed back and a keen interest swept over me.
I stretched and tapped his arm. He stiffened for a moment and lifted his head. Two confused lines took refuge on his brow as his gaze swept up and down my body and then came to rest on my face. I swallowed hard as icy cold seeped through my thin cotten blouse and into my flesh, tauting my muscles and paralyzing my body from my limbs down.
"Hi." I forced a smile to break through my lips whilst bracing myself for an outburst of savagery from his side.
He sat straighter in his chair and stretched his arms on the table surface, diverting his eyes away from my face. I watched his throat move up and down as a lone whisper tumbled out from his once red, plump lips that had now lost some colour. I almost didn't catch the 'hey' that fell out.
I pushed back the little twitch of fear that struck my spine and came closer. "Can I sit?"
He spared me a discreet squizz and then looked away, nodding. A little bit surprised, I crossed over and pulled back the chair opposite him and lowered, settling my tray in the middle. I felt his eyes on me and I glanced up at him. He immediately looked down and cleared his throat.
"How are you?" It was a hoarse whisper over the clatter of noise disturbing the rhythm of my pulse.
Stunned and shocked at the randomness of his question, I gulped and nodded my head. "I'm okay." Throwing the show of courtesy back at him. "How are you?"
He gave a sharp nod indicating the same but I saw otherwise. Hollow cheeks and paler skin, dark circles shone lightly at the base of his eyes. His face was gaunt, like he had shed some weight. He pressed his pale lips, focusing his eyes on a spot that seemed more interesting than my face.
I re-adjusted in my seat and leaned in closer. "Have you...uh seen...Keegan lately?"
His brow creased and he frowned. He shook his head. "No."
"Have you spoken to him?" I desperately quizzed.
The space in between his eyes wrinkled as he regarded me for a slight moment. I watched his gaze flicker to the spot on the surface table and back to me. Then, it dropped once more. He coughed quietly and murmured almost incoherently, "yeah".
"Wait, what? You have spoken to him? How? When? Oh God, I've been trying to get through to him for days and it's been almost impossible."
"Just this morning." His voice held more calm and quietness that I never for once associated it with what it used to be.
"On the phone?"
He nodded and grimaced.
"I couldn't reach him all day. I tried. It always goes straight to voicemail."
"To voicemail?"
"Yes."
He reached behind his back and buried his hand inside the compartment in his jeans. A second later, he fished out his phone. I waited patiently even as my pulse punched my throat in anticipation as he tapped the screen. Just then, series of interval beeps came through the speakers. It rang for a while then, he tapped the phone screen again, cutting the sound off.
He held my gaze and spoke, "It's ringing. If it ain't in yours or going straight to voice mail, then he definitely blocked you."
My eyes bugged. "What?
He coughed gently and grimaced, tugging his leather jacket closer to his body.
"No, no, no. That-that can't be possible. I mean why-why would he do that? We were fine...very fine actually. There is no reason to...Lord, are you really serious? But we weren't fighting or...oh my God. But we were just fine."
His shoulders bobbed again and he said with utmost placidity. "Then I'm prolly wrong."
My stomach churned hard as confusion striked through every nerve in my body. There had to be a mistake somewhere or some sort of solid explanation pending. It was so hard trying to decipher his reasons or envision him actually doing that. He wouldn't stop me from getting through to him without any valid reason to no matter what. If he was mad at me for one reason or the other, we would have talked about it and easily sorted it out without any unnecessary episodes but stopping all forms of communications entirely? That was unlike from his part. That description didn't at all fit into the guy I have come to love and admire.
"Look." I swallowed. "Dario, the things we did. What we did. Getting intimate with each other was a total mistake and it is one that should never have happened no matter the circumstance and I completely regret every bit of it because as you know, I've got someone I do care so much about which happens to be your friend - your best friend. I-I don't even know what I was thinking. I regret everything that occurred with you and just because I responded didn't at all mean it meant anything to me. I'm not into you. I'm not in any way attracted to you Dario.
It's Keegan. I love Keegan and I don't want what we have to end because of you or - or our carelessness and to be honest, if I could turn back time, I would definitely do things differently. I just..." I sucked in a deep breath and glanced up at him. A flicker of an emotion crossed over his countenance. In a flash, it disappeared before I could hurriedly place its category as angry eyes that told me his brain was in a different mode, that he has switched gears from empathy to cold emotional indifference pinned me down and made me trip over my words. "I just...I just wish you would keep it between us and don't tell...."
"Got it." His tone of voice had switched to cold and unfriendly, like the piercing green eyes glowering hard in my direction.
"Yeah so...I think I should go. I've got...." I pushed back my chair to leave. The apple and water stayed untouched on the table as I gathered my things to escape a pair of feral green eyes that was capable of burning me to ashes with its scornful glare if I chose to stay back.
"Sit down." His voice was authoritative and full of command. I instantly obeyed, lowering down onto the chair and trapping my eyes on my braided fingers under the table.
His movement caught my eyes. I looked up the exact moment he abruptly rose to his feet and shouldered a black bag.
With frosty green eyes sizzling with active animousity, he sneered, "I was just leaving." And stormed past, leaving a pounding heart on its own to regain a steady rhythm.
***
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Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
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