Kapitel 43: Remission

Lei Xing returned to her palace and sent everyone away and laid on her bed stewing for a long time over the course of recent events; the uncanny paintings and then the Empress dowager's problem.

She had dismissed - at the very least, stopped wasting energy thinking about the paintings since she could not get definite answers on that. So, she focused on the issue of the Empress dowager, but no matter how she thought about it, she still couldn't come to a conclusion on that problem either.

The most she concluded was the empress dowager definitely had a grudge against her, if she had any doubt about it before, it was now confirmed.

But she wondered if it was really just because of the Empress rejection thing, the Empress dowager should have moved on since the Emperor seemed to have moved on from it, right?

{...Ideally....but then if she were rational, poisoning me for it wouldn't be the response -_-)'...It can't be that she really just hates my face, right?...but even then, to want to kill me for that is a bit much, isn't it?...

...Reasons aside, how long can I continue to evade this woman? The "illness" story can't always work...like today, if it's something I've taken before, it doesn't work, such a glaring loophole!..and she even seemed "upset" when I drank it today...

...Drink = problem, don't drink = problem...what am I supposed to do with this woman?!...}

While Lei Xing was ruminating over the Empress dowager's problem, she ended up falling asleep at some point, she was really tired, and all this mental strain was even more exhausting.

Later on in the day, Xiao Ruo woke her up to get ready.

She got up, still irritated, soaked in a bath for a long while, and then speedily went through the process of getting ready. She really couldn't be bothered with it at the moment, and when done, made her way back to the Empress dowager's palace, where they were expected to gather before going over to the main hall.

For the first time, Lei Xing was actually the first one there. It seemed the others were really taking their time getting ready.

Lei Xing sighed and walked off to the side and sat down to wait. A maid served some tea beside her, Lei Xing glanced down at the cup and ignored it.

{...I've had enough tea here to last two lifetimes...*sigh* since this is the case, I could have slept some more...I blame Xiao Ruo, always so anxious about everything -_-)...}

To make things worse, shortly after Lei Xing sat down, Song mama came into the room with a message that made Lei Xing really want to run back to her palace to re-do the entire process of getting dressed, this time as slowly as humanly possible.

The message was that the Empress dowager has asked to see her privately in her room. Lei Xing was panicked on the inside but had no choice but to follow Song mama, as she shed silent tears on the inside.

{...Is she going to just have people hold me down and pour it down my throat...Is this really the end? T_T)...I hope it's painless poison, if there is such a thing here T_T)...}

Lei Xing was led into the empress dowager's bedroom, where she was sat down with maids putting on her make-up and jewelry.

Lei Xing walked in and bowed, the Empress dowager simply cast her a brief sidelong glance and then looked back at her reflection in the mirror.

Lei Xing awkwardly stood there in the middle of the room, ignored. Lei Xing glanced at the Empress dowager feeling anxious about her fate.

{...Maybe I should apologize?... Apologize for what?!... I don't know...the empress thing?... Do you really think all this is because of THAT?...It doesn't matter, just do it!...}

Before Lei Xing could convince herself to open her mouth, the Empress dowager seemed satisfied with her appearance and waved the maids away, and then turned and calmly stared at Lei Xing.

Lei Xing froze and stared back at her blankly before quickly snapping out of it, and bowing again in greeting again. Lei Xing then straightened up, keeping her head lowered. There were only three of them left in the room; Lei Xing in the middle of the room, Song mama who was standing beside the Empress dowager, and the Empress dowager who was sitting down quietly staring at Lei xing.

Lei Xing felt this situation was very eerie. This was even worse than dealing with the Emperor, with him, at most, she felt awkward and annoyed - yes, there's that weirdness too...but she was never really afraid of him or for her life, surprisingly.

Lei Xing admitted to herself that she was honestly really scared of this woman, and this was probably the most scared she's been in her life. Even while drowning, she was extremely panicked, but her mind didn't really have the time to be scared.

The sense of impending doom was very palpable here.

{...Of course, I'm scared of her, she tried to kill me!... Well, you don't really know that, maybe it was harmless?...-_-)'...I think not!... I should really apologize...but will it help?... I don't know and don't care, just need to do something to get her to STOP!....}

Lei Xing took a deep breath and kowtowed.

Then she stayed on her knees with her hands cupped in front of her and head bowed, "Your majesty, I apologize for my past transgressions, I have since reflected on myself and recognized my failures and ineptitudes." Lei Xing finished in one breath and closed her eyes, waiting for a response, maintaining her position.

{...Look I am even on my knees, begrudgingly- willingly on my knees, just let it go!...}

The Empress dowager blinked and was quiet for a while staring at Lei Xing. After a while, she laughed and asked, "Apologizing for what?"

Lei Xing blinked, "Ah, for the disrespect I showed in replying to the Emperor's question on the position of the Empress. It was a lapse in good judgment on my part. Please do not hold it against this inexperienced one."

{...Please let it go, I can't keep doing this T_T)...}

"Ahh, he did ask you that." The Empress dowager said in a tone that sounded like she had just remembered that there was such an event.

Lei Xing frowned.

{...You forgot? It's really not that? I knew she wouldn't be so petty...but then what else have I done wrong?!... You can't seriously hate me because of the crap attention that I don't want, right?...You're his mother!... We can negotiate, what do you want? Do you want me to be your lackey?... Well...Well, I can try...I mean, we can probably work something out...somehow...just...just give me the chance to fail first!...}

"Why did you wait till now to apologize?" The Empress dowager casually asked, and then added, "You can get up now."

Lei Xing got up, but still kept her head lowered and answered, "I have been meaning to apologize, but I could not find an opportunity to meet Your majesty privately until now."

The Empress dowager smirked, "Then why didn't you come to visit me?"

Lei Xing glanced up at her and swiftly answered, "I didn't think it was something I was allowed to do..." and then lowered her eyes, "...I also didn't want to further upset Your majesty."

{...Good, good...I think this is going well...I hope...}

The Empress dowager narrowed her eyes and scrutinized Lei Xing for a long while, then asked, "What do you think?"

Lei Xing raised her head up and looked at the Empress dowager wide-eyed with a confused expression, "I'm sorry your majesty, I don't understand."

{...I think I have this innocent act down pat, I hope...just think I'm harmless please, actually I am fairly harmless...No, I am thoroughly harmless, like I couldn't harm a fly...actually, let's make it frog...unless it wanted to kill me, then I'd - BUT No, I am really harmless...I haven't harmed a frog, trust me!...}

The Empress dowager looked at her expression and sighed, "What do you think of life in the palace?"

"It is indeed different, but I am adjusting very well." Lei Xing answered, bowing her head.

The Empress dowager narrowed her eyes, "Different? How?"

Lei Xing groaned on the inside, "Well, on the surface, it may simply seem a matter of having more servants and bigger quarters, but the new elevated position comes with expectations that we are expected to live up to, so it is very different in that aspect."

"Ahh, that's true, I had forgotten life in the palace can seem very different to those who weren't raised in one." The Empress dowager quietly said as she stared off to the side, and then there was a long silence after that.

The silence dragged on, and Lei Xing covertly glanced up at the dowager, who seemed to be staring blankly at something on the side.

After a long while of silence, Song mama also glanced at the Empress dowager and realized that she was no longer paying attention to the current scene, so she cleared her throat a few times, bent down and called, "Your majesty, your majesty..."

The Empress dowager lightly flinched and blinked as she turned to look at Song mama, who signaled to the front with her eyes where Lei Xing was standing.

The Empress dowager turned to look at Lei Xing and then sighed, "It is good you're adjusting well. If you have any concerns, you can always come to me. You can leave."

Lei Xing deeply bowed, "Thank you, your majesty, I will be eternally grateful for your majesty's kindness."

{...Um so are we friends now?... Is that code for "we're good"?...Can I ask? No? Okay, I'm leaving...}

Lei Xing gave a second bow and then turned and left. Once she was outside the room, she let out a sigh of relief as she was led back to the reception hall by one of the maids outside the room.

After Lei Xing left, Song mama quietly asked, "Your Majesty, what do you think? She doesn't seem bad."

The Empress dowager pursed her lips and offhandedly replied, "I guess."

Song mama continued, "She even drank the tea today, she doesn't seem to know anything. It really must have been her good luck before."

The Empress dowager did not say anything.

Song mama quietly advised, "Your majesty, I know Defense Minister Lei has been rude in the past, but given how things are wouldn't it be better to have him on our side? You said it yourself before that the Lei family holds a lot of power, they are the best at restraining the Zhao family. If we lose their support now because of this one daughter, wouldn't the throne be in jeopardy later? And then won't all our hard work be lost? We may end up aiding our enemies instead."

The Empress dowager silently contemplated her words.

{...That is true, I will be needing someone to restrain that Zhao bastard once I am done with his "precious" daughter...}

The Empress dowager scoffed.

{...How dare he trample on me and think he can simply go free...Does he take me for a fool? His sister may be gone, but he is still here for me to deal with...}

Song mama saw the Empress dowager was contemplating her words and added, "Also, the Emperor seems to like this Noble consort Lei, she definitely seems more reliable than that Noble consort Chen...after you have a grandson, it won't be too late to get rid of her then, that way you can punish them while still retaining their support. Then it will be a perfect situation." Song mama finished with a smile.

The Empress dowager sat quietly in contemplation for a while with a frown and then got up and walked out of the room, still frowning.

{...If I really had to pick between the two...the Zhao family absolutely cannot be forgiven, the Lei family, on the other hand - still does it have to really be her? I can get a grandson from anyone!...}

AUTORENGEDANKEN
MiraiSaesang

So it seems there's someone else on the dowager's list who she hates more than LX's father...I mean there are a couple of people on there, 3 of them are dead (late emperor, 1st & 2nd empresses)...I guess he comes in 5th maybe? Prince Yi should be on there somewhere too, it's nothing personal with him though?

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**Thank you for reading, please comment and vote!!! ☜(˚▽˚)☞***

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