Kapitel 46: Chapter 43
AN: this is it guys. I've deliberately hyped it up so much that it shouldn't affect you anymore when you read it.
So I'm either gonna be attacked because you still got sad, or you were disappointed that you didn't have to use your tissues to wipe your tears.
~~
Rochester New York. Cullens home.
ROBIN'S POV
I sat in the living room alone... The house was eerily quiet with just me in it.
I left the castle in a hurry, but I did talk to my family and children before leaving... They tried to stop me vehemently since they thought it'd be too dangerous for me to travel by sea, swimming... They thought I was crazy, but it was the fastest way I could think of.
I tried explaining the feeling I got, and they kept telling me that I was just overreacting and that it might just be me missing my mate. After hearing all sorts of protests from them... I finally snapped and told them that I would be going, with or without their permission, even if I had to use my gifts on them...
They still don't remember my gift of compulsion, but I think the expression they saw on my face convinced them that no matter what they do or say, I'm going... So they reluctantly sent me off. I asked them to inform the kings of my departure, and I promised to come back as soon as I could, they gave me a lot of reminders and a vial of syringe filled with venom just in case.
I thought just in case what exactly? But I didn't argue or question it and just took it. Put it in a safe place. Wrapped in a lot of plastic in a sealed container. And then I left.
I did get lost in the middle of the sea, but I managed to find my way when I luckily encountered a damsel in distress, after saving her, I compelled her to show me in the correct direction and then altered her memories, suggesting in her mind to replace it with whatever makes sense for her without revealing the real me.
(Future Robin: I never thought it'd be a cause for another mermaid legend in that area)
I wanted to go straight to Rosalie, but I can't exactly do that right now, since it will be a bit suspicious or weird for me to do that in the middle of the night, without prior notice.
So I did the next best thing I could think of...
I called Isaac.
Now, you must be wondering... HOW do I actually communicate on the phone with him without being able to talk?
Easy, I don't talk. I just call, and when someone answers and asks who's on the phone, I tap the phone once and if the other person on the phone isn't Isaac, they were instructed to pass the phone to him, and then he'll come over the phone, he asks pre-determined questions, that can only be answered by yes and no, which will be 1 tap for yes and 2 taps for no. If he isn't available to go on the phone, he will be informed by them at a later time, and he'll go directly to me ASAP...
Which I think will be happening in this scenario, since the helper just told me that he wasn't in the house at the moment. So I guess I'll be seeing him tomorrow.
I looked at the clock and saw that it was still around 8 pm... Not too early or too late... And it's not like I dropped by personally, I'm just going to call to check on her and Leo... It wasn't the first time I called in the evening, it should be fine... Why am I suddenly anxious... Weird.
We had the same process with Rosalie, taps and all.
I heard the phone ring a few times, and then I heard a young voice answered.
"Hello? Who's this?" I recognize the voice as one of Rosalie's brothers, Charlie, the oldest son in the Hale household. I tap the phone once in response.
"Robin! It's you, isn't it? We've been taking care of Leo, and he's been a good boy. Did you come back for my big sister's wedding?" He said excitedly.
I was smiling in amusement in the beginning, but then when I heard the last part, it vanished and I froze... I heard Rosalie's voice in the background of the call, asking who was on the phone, the boy told her it was me, and when I heard her coming closer to the phone, I panicked and ended the call.
Wedding? His big sister's wedding, he only has one sister... Rosalie... My mate... Whom I just left for just a little over 4 months... Is getting married to some unknown man from god knows where...
I'm so confused, how did this happen? How could this happen? I need answers. So I'm going to them now. I decided to sneak into the Hale residence to talk to Rosalie.
I sped all the way to her home and when I reached it, I carefully infiltrated by jumping over the gates and walking quietly towards her home... I heard her familiar heartbeat... It was normal... Then I noticed 7 other presences... There were 3 other people inside... I recognize the 4 as the rest of the Hale's... But the last 3 were unfamiliar to me...
I walked closer to one of the windows, one that belonged to their dining room, since all the noise came from there. I saw 8 figures having dinner, laughing merrily while chatting the Hale parents sat next to each other, the Hale sons with each other, and the two other older adult man and woman were seated the same way... And lastly... Rosalie, MY ROSALIE, was beside a man... Who was looking at her lovingly, clearly lovestruck... Their backs were facing me, but I saw his expression since he kept looking at her...
"This union would be the best that would ever happen for both our families, not just for our businesses but also for our children!" The unknown older man said. So it seems he's the father of the bastard who dares covet my mate!
"Just look how perfect they are for each other! Your son really seems to love our daughter, handsome, caring and has a promising future. What more can a woman ask for? A good woman indeed needs a good MAN to live a fulfilling life. Don't you think so too?" Mrs. Hale added and questioned everybody, but I noticed that she emphasized that one word while giving Rosalie a meaningful look...
I couldn't see her expression, but along with the others on the table, she agreed... And I saw the man beside her giving her a loving smile and then reached out his hand to touch hers that was above the table... And I was hoping she would dodge or shake it off, but she didn't... She let him hold her hand and cross their fingers together in a lover's hold...
What the fuck is happening... I felt my heart break... My chest hurt so bad, I was starting to have trouble breathing... I'm starting to see red... My mind going to dark places, telling me to barge in there and kill everyone aside from her, and then take her back with me... That can't happen...
I quickly left that area, went straight to Rosalie's room, and left a note on her desk, telling her I was back, and asking her to come to my home as soon as possible to talk, and then I took Leo and his container with me.
I didn't even care about her questioning how I managed to leave that message and take Leo home, she already knew I was back from the call earlier. So this would be a confusing but believable thing.
I left to go straight to the far end of the forest... I didn't have any songs that could translate how I'm feeling right now... I tried, I tried to search for one... For relief... But my gift failed me... So I wailed and screamed...
The surrounding animals, insects... Every living thing that was nearby ran away from me, but I went after quite a few of them, it was a massacre, and their cries added to my own... If there was anybody who heard me now, they'd probably start a rumor or a new town horror story about a banshee or wailing woman in the forest killing the wild beast in the forest...
The pain in my chest didn't go away completely like when I sing my heart out... But It reached a point where I at least did not want to murder anyone I came across...
I went back home to wait for her to come to me... I shouldn't think too negatively... Try to remember all those movies and novels I've seen... Remember how the leads always had misunderstandings... Maybe she's being forced into this... It wasn't her idea to do this... Maybe... Ugh... That's the only reason I can think of because it doesn't make sense...
The bond was formed strong enough for her heart to not be swayed by another person... I saw how she looked at me, I felt it... She loved me... Me.. Her mate.
I'm her mate, I should trust our bond, right? Wait... Just because we're mates, doesn't mean we'll get a happy ending... I saw that in the stories too... Just because you love each other... That doesn't mean that's enough to end up together... It didn't happen just in those stories, I also witnessed it multiple times in real life...
NO... BRAIN STOP IT! Stop going to dark places... Please... "ROB MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE! why are you doing this to me" ... I cried out to no one on my knees, tears kept flowing from my eyes... It hurts... My chest kept hurting...
My head keeps filling me with all these negative thoughts, and telling me I'm being dramatic, and just move on... But my heart feels like it keeps getting tortured by it...
^ding dong^
I heard the doorbell...
^ding dong^
I smelled the familiar scent...
^ding dong^
My heart was beating so fast, wanting to break out and go to her... To try and make itself feel better... Only her...
I walk towards the door... It was getting harder to breathe... If I wasn't half a vampire, I'd probably be on the floor now, wheezing to my death...
I stand face to face with the front door...
I hear her heartbeat... That familiar sound I loved so much... I loved listening to it skip for me... Beat fast for me... Just responding to me... To think that it'll belong to someone else now... Stop... We're not sure of that... There's still a chance...
I reached out at the door handle, turned it... And pulled the door to open...
I now came face to face with her... The source of my happiness and current pain...
I subconsciously started to smile when I saw her like I usually did... How can I not smile when I see my love?
Usually, she did the same... She gives me the most beautiful smile she could muster... One that could even melt winter's ice given how warm it felt from all the love you could feel from it...
But that's not what greeted me... Not the warm smile I came to know and love... But the cold indifferent look, but then she plastered that fake smile, beautiful, but I knew it was fake, I've seen her use it hundreds of times already... She used it on me... like I was just some random person or one of the annoying pursuers she used to have and dealt with...
"I came to return Leo's things... And also this." with that smile, She handed me a small paper bag and an envelope that was decorated ornately...
My breath hitched when I saw it. I held it in my hand and opened it... There was a beautifully decorated card inside... And when I saw what was written... My heart sank... My hope almost crushed... Almost... Since there's still a chance right?... Right? there must be a reason...
I looked up to meet her eyes, and it still was the same indifferent look and that fake smile... I felt my lips quiver from the sadness, so I bit hard on it, to stop myself from crying right in front of her... I want my Rosalie back...
"It's short notice, but it's tomorrow... I didn't expect you to come back so soon. Good thing that we still printed your Family's invitation, can't have my best friend absent from my own wedding right?... Unfortunately, since you came back too late, you can't be the maid of honor anymore or bridesmaid" She said while smiling at me energetically, like an excited bride.
Seriously, what is happening? Did I accidentally pass into a different dimension or universe when I got lost in the sea? Is she not my Rosalie? How could she utter these words right to my face? What kind of shit plot is this? I come back and suddenly my mate is getting married tomorrow? What the FUCK?!
I stared at her dumbfounded... And hurt... I saw a flash of guilt and hurt pass her eyes before it disappeared when a hand tapped Rosalie's shoulder to get her attention.
"Rose, darling. We have to leave. We just have a few hours to spend together before we can't see each other till tomorrow..." the Bastard who was stealing my woman called out to her. Directing a polite smile and nod towards me...
Rosalie looked back at him with a smile and was about to agree to leave with him, but interrupted her by sending a smile towards the guy and going in for a friendly hug.
Rosalie just stood there wide-eyed in disbelief of my action.
I moved my lips closer to his ear to whisper.
"Go back to your car and wait for her patiently, if she comes back, you forget about our encounter or ever hearing my voice" I wanted to compel him to do something very different... But I can't... I don't know the real situation, I don't want to hurt Rosalie.
The guy then mindlessly went back to his car and did was he was told.
Rosalie just stood there looking at him go and then directed her gaze towards me again... She didn't see nor heard me whisper into his ear... So she was confused at the moment.
I held her by the wrists, pulled her inside the house, and locked the door. I pulled her towards the music room, and she just let me. I don't why... And I'm too mentally and emotionally drained right now to analyze that.
As I closed the door of the room, I faced her.
There are a lot of questions I wanted to ask before... But now... My mind's all blank. So I went for the basic and most important question...
*Why?* I said... With broken expression... I didn't want to show this expression, but I was barely holding myself from crying.
Her eyebrows furrowed after my question. She didn't answer immediately and seemed like she was contemplating how to respond.
My heart was beating so fast, it was deafening for my enhanced hearing... I wanted to heat hers, but mine was so loud it dampened hers... Seriously...
"Because I chose it. It was my dream. You know that. A happy NORMAL family. To be the perfect wife and mother, to a husband and our children... That was always my dream..." She said with a melancholic look.
My heart broke into a million right there and then. This was my fear... I held back before, because of this... Then we moved past it... We were ok... Were were awesome... We were finally together... Then it actually happened...
*Then what about us... Did I.. We... Did us being together mean nothing to you? What about all those you said?* I was biting my lips the whole time... I could feel my teeth start to sink in... Drawing blood...
Seeing my state, her expression changed... It softened, worry and guilt were apparent on her face. She moved a step forward, her hand seemed like it was about to move up and reach out to me... but she stopped and then went back in place.
I saw it, she hesitated... Her expression changed... There's still a chance, right? Maybe she's hiding something... She didn't mean it when she said all those things...
I decided to be the one to bridge the gap between us and hug her tight... She didn't struggle nor did she show any protest to my touch... But I noticed that she also didn't hug back... After a few more seconds, I separated from her a little, just enough to see eye to eye, I was trying to read her expressions... Trying to see anything, any reason for me to fight for her... For us...but all I saw was the same look I got when I opened the door on her earlier, indifference, with a hint of guilt...
My heart didn't want to accept this, so my body moved and did something stupid. I tried to kiss her without her consent or any sign that would indicate that she was ready or accepting for it...
But I was still expecting... Hoping... Like in the stories with happy endings... she would accept, and confirm that she still loved me, wanted me... That I can still fix us, all she has to do is accept, and whatever it is she's going through, whatever made her accept the marriage... I'll fix it...
But my hope shattered when she dodged, pushed me off her, backed away from me, and gave me a guilty and disappointed look... Then it morphed into anger.
"I'm an engaged woman, Robin... I'm about to be married and be someone's wife tomorrow... My future husband is just outside. What were you thinking trying to kiss me!" She angrily reprimanded me.
*I wasn't thinking! My brain isn't functioning well right now, because the woman I loved just suddenly told me she was about to be taken away from me by some man out of nowhere when I just came back!*
"Stop! Stop saying that! What we did, it was wrong! It's not natural! We knew it... I knew it, we would never live a normal life, and we would never be accepted by the people around us! We sinned!"
My eyes widened in disbelief at what I'd heard... Am I really hearing this now? From her... Each statement felt like a stab in the heart...
*Who decides what's natural and what's not! We do! We decide what's normal, and who needs normal when we can be amazing?! Who needs acceptance from random unimportant people, we can surround ourselves with people who matter and accept us! Who decided that it was a sin?! It's love! We loved each other, I love you, and you love me, that's all that matters! Who cares what others think?!* I expressed, panting heavily from all the emotion... I can feel myself about to lose control... My gift is about to activate anytime now.
"I DO! I CARE! I can't be like you who's carefree, and not care about these things! My family isn't like yours, and my beliefs aren't like yours! I was raised by them... up until I met you, my goal, mind, and heart were set on the right path. It was perfect! I was heading straight to my dream life, and then you came along and shattered! I REG-" She was about to say something that would definitely end us... So I did a useless thing and stopped her lips from uttering such hateful words...
But she shook my hand off, with a firm and determined look... She looked me straight in the eye... and continued.
"I REGRET what happened between us... I wish we just stayed as friends... All of it was a mistake... You should also try to move on and find yourself a good man, and live a normal life... Go back to the correct path... I still care about you as a... friend... That's why I'm telling you this... I still want you in my life... I don't want you to go... But we can't be together like that anymore..."
she tried to move closer to me, to touch my arm and console me... But I move backward to dodge... I can't believe she said all that... I really wish I brought Edward here... But I guess that even if he was here l, Rosalie was lying about how she felt... The bottom line is... She's not choosing me...
Aaah... it's over... I could feel it trying to come out... My emotions reached their limit.
I looked back at her straight in the eyes and gave her a pained and defeated smile...
*You know... I struggled in trying to confess to you before... And this situation... All those things you said... Your dream... I was willing to let you go. I was ready for it... But you came and gave me hope, accepted my feelings... My heart... But you just shattered, stomped, and spat on it... But even with all that... I can't make myself hate you, I don't hate... I get it... I... I just want you to be happy... That has always been, and always will be my priority and goal... So if this is really what you chose for yourself... I'll live with it...*
Tears were already falling down my cheeks... Hers weren't any better... We were both crying while looking at each other.
I decided to let go and make her feel how I felt at the moment... Since I can no longer control it.
Music started playing, this startled her, and she looked around in confusion and then at me, seemingly asking what was happening.
I gave her a sad but loving smile then opened my lips and started singing.
-Stone cold by Demi Lovato-
🎶Stone cold, stone cold
You see me standing, but I'm dying on the floor
Stone cold, stone cold
Maybe if I don't cry, I won't feel anymore🎶
Her eyes widened in disbelief that I was singing in front of her... That she was hearing my actual voice... A look of feeling betrayed flashed in her expression, but then it changed to hurt extreme pain... She's starting to feel the intensity, the gravity of my feelings at the moment... She clutched her chest while looking at me...
🎶Stone cold, baby
God knows I try to feel
Happy for you
Know that I am, even if I
Can't understand, I'll take the pain
Give me the truth, me and my heart
We'll make it through
If happy is him, I'm happy for you🎶
Her other hand went up to cover her mouth to stop herself from screaming in pain, afraid to distract me and lead me to stop... It seems she wants to hear till the end... Did she figure out how my gift works?
🎶Stone cold, stone cold
You're dancing with her, while I'm staring at my phone
Stone cold, stone cold
I was your amber, but now he's your shade of gold
Stone cold, baby
God knows I try to feel
Happy for you
Know that I am, even if I
Can't understand, I'll take the pain
Give me the truth, me and my heart
We'll make it through
If happy is him, I'm happy for you🎶
I genuinely hope that you live a happy life... I'll always love you... And I'll meet you in your next life... At that time, I'm hoping that our story has a happy ending...
🎶Don't wanna be stone cold, stone
I wish I could mean this, but here's my goodbye
Oh, I'm happy for you
Know that I am, even if I
Can't understand
If happy is her
If happy is her
I'm happy for you🎶
I walked over to her and removed her hand covering her mouth so my hands could hold her face... Her hands moved and landed on top of mine... For maybe the last time... Our eyes roamed on each other's features... Then My pink met her violets...
Her eyes had a questioning look in them, I knew what she was going to ask... Her lips parted to say something, but I stopped it by resting my thumb on her lips.
"before we even met, I already had positive feelings towards you... You were a dream of mine... It's hard to explain this to you, because, given your choice... You may never be able to ever grasp or understand... But you and me, are meant to be together, that's what the so-called fate or God intended for us... So regardless of what some book says... What we are... What we were... It's not a sin..."
I let out a tired sigh and smiled helplessly at her. Caressing her cheeks, while she looks at me dazedly, hanging to my every word.
"You talk about natural... Normal... But for me... For my kind... This, us being together, this is what's natural... It can't be more natural than this... So hearing all those things from you... It hurts, it keeps hurting... Because I know for a fact that you love me too... Clearly not as much as I love you... But nonetheless, you love me... And it breaks my heart that you have chosen to fight against it... Against us..."
My tears started to flow again, I really don't want to do this... But this is the only way she'll be able to live a happy life, with no regrets... So I swallow the protest deep inside me...
"I was hoping... But I always understood that even with all these feelings... Our connection... There's a chance that this would happen. Maybe it's bad timing... Hopefully in the future, when our souls meet again, we can freely be with each other..."
For the last time, I roamed my eyes on her features, wanting to etch every detail into my brain... Finally, my eyes landed on hers, and I pulled her in for the last time... A kiss goodbye... This time she didn't dodge nor was I push away... It wasn't a passionate or lustful kind of kiss... Our lips didn't even move, they were just pressed together... firm and emotional.
I reluctantly ended it and moved my lips closer to her ear... Dreading what's to come next... But It has to be done... I steeled my resolve and began.
"Forget everything about us being in love... We were just normal best friends... Replace every memory of us being intimate with normal best-friend activities that make sense to you... Ignore everything that other people say that would say otherwise... We were just normal best friends... Forget everything about us being lovers..."
I choked up because of my crying... I really hate this... Fuck... A stupid idea came to mind... A little selfishness that may never even come to fruition... But I decided to go through with it...
"your memories about us will only come back once you turn into a vampire"
With that last selfish move... I let go of her and moved away... She was standing there dazedly looking at me... I looked away, not wanting to do any more stupid shit, and decide not to respect her decision by using my gift on her to choose me.
"Remember my previous instructions, and forget everything that happened since you handed me the wedding invitation... Replace those memories with whatever made sense to you...Leave now and go on with your life."
I felt her struggling for some reason like she was reluctant to follow my compulsion... But in the end, I sensed her moving... As she turned around to leave, I finally looked up to watch her slowly walk away and leave...
I just stood in place until I felt her get in the car and slowly move away from this place.
I walked towards the chair and sat... I sobbed... It fucking hurts... IT HURTS! why me!!! WHY THE FUCK DO YOU DO THIS TO ME!!! I'm not the best person, but I am not evil! Why keep punishing me! Why are you torturing me!
I kept sobbing... But then the doorbell rang, and a familiar scent hit me... Isaac?... Ah, yes... I did call him first when I got home...
I wiped my tears and tried to fix my appearance as much as possible, even tho I knew it was useless, it's gonna be obvious that I cried.
I walked towards the door and opened it for him... Our eyes locked on each other, and at the same time, we gave a tired and defeated smile... We moved closer and engulfed ourselves in a tight hug... Seemingly trying to get and give as much comfort from and to each other.
"I got dumped by Rosalie, and as you may already know... she's getting married tomorrow" smiled sadly while still hugging him.
He separated us a little and moved his hands to hold my waist, and then looked at me with a broken smile...
"I can beat that... Guess what... I have cancer, I'm dying... And my boyfriend left me after I told him"
I grabbed his head and buried his face into my neck, hugging him tightly...
FUCK ADAM... FUCK CANCER... AND FUCK YOU ROB!
~~
AN: uhm... Sorry if you got... sad... Or... Disappointed? 🧎 I don't know how it was for you, but... This was a long and emotionally tiring chapter for me. I got motivated to make it longer and more... Just more...
I want to thank [Table_Qwest] for sending me a donation. I didn't ask for it, but he insisted even after I discouraged him and had some technical difficulties with sending it... He still persisted, found another way, and sent it to me. You don't know how much of a help this is to me right now... 🥹
Thanks for all the power stones and comments, I really appreciate and enjoy them, it keeps going, and from losing my drive to write. So keep em coming if you can.
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Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
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