Kapitel 4: CH4

Going full Murderhobo was fun. Living like an ancient Gol barbarian was fun even if it was only in a world without consequences. He stared at his phone and counted the number of na'vi he had near each tree. Zack and Mittelt munched on some fruit they found while he tried to get his app to work, but the book they borrowed from Rias on Techno magic was complicated. He had it on his phone, went over his last study session notes, and checked the code to see where he went wrong. It was functional, but some data wasn't getting entered despite having control over his demi-plane. Something wasn't updating, and it was driving him crazy.

He marked them with cheery trees to separate them from where their gravity and atmosphere changed. Each little tribe had its little squares cut out with a little over a hundred miles of territory. An area of a thousand miles was fair for each little tribe. Since he was getting more of everything, his demi-plane expanded rapidly.

Zack moved things back and forth, turned trees without destroying them, and moved housing in the villages popping up. Sometimes, the na'vi built the homes in the wrong places, and he had to move them manually. What was he going to do? Tell them to waste their precious time tearing down their homes and building new ones. Zack wasn't a monster.

He moved a few plants until they were in neat rows in the jungles surrounding the na'vi camps. After locating the leaders of the groups, he used mana to create a red hat, placed it on her head, and made little white hats for the others. He thought about the weird name na'vi and decided it needed something. Maybe he could call them the save. No, that was to Pirates of the Caribbean. He needed to put a little more thought into it.

Zack replaced the, changing them into su'vi. No, that was still wrong. He removed the pause in the word, but it sounded pretentious anyway. The survey didn't go well together. It was two words. He needed to describe one man's failed fetishes project. Maybe he could add a little m between the s and u smuvi. Not that wasn't right. It sounded like he was calling them smoothies. Smuvi weren't food. Their name needed a hard R. The V wasn't doing anything, so he replaced it with the much-needed R. It felt like it was almost there.

Mittelt looked over his shoulder at his phone snickered. "I know what you're doing."

"You know we should just name them after these smurf berries they love to eat so much," Mittelt said.

"It's like you're giving me a divine message right now." Zack wiggled his eyebrows. "But we can't call a group of them smurf. They aren't deer or fish, so let's call them Smurfs when talking about a group of them. Their leaders will be Poppa Smurf because of the red hat they like to wear."

Mittelt chuckled. Neither of them had yet seen anything remotely close to a red hat on a navy. He added a small goal on a colony of parasites within some of the na'vi females. Red hats were attractive to leaders. He had no idea how the little guys swimming in the colons of the na'vi would pull it off, but he gave them mana and used Life Weave. Like with the algae, all he did was kick the boat out. Zack wasn't a micromanager.

Mittelt delivered her response with a voice like an angel: "Those are both great deductions that no one has ever made about these people and are both accurate and groundbreaking."

A man in a mech stared at them while they munched on Smurf berries. "It's an angel, an honest-to-God angel. What does that mean?"

So he waved. The mech stumbled back into a portal deposited in a similar forest to the one he left, even near an identical tree. Zack had welcome to Smurfland written in large letters so the guy knew where to go. He used a bit of life weave to alter his lungs enough to survive without a mask. It wasn't an instant process, but it would finish in a few days his time.

Zack also started on Project Daywalker and changed the man's reproduction enough to make producing offspring with a smurf somewhat possible. Some men buy a ticket and win the lottery.

It was all for that last level in Life Weave. The previous level of skill was always the hardest. Zack studied the smurf's biology in their habitats and had no idea how he was going to get them to start having sex with the human men he planned to shove in there. It was a joke at first, but the more he looked at it, the more he liked the idea of conquering alien species with dicks.

Zack picked out a few of the na'vi and messed with their biology, making humans seem more attractive as the end goal. He couldn't dream of using life weave so successfully anywhere but in his demi-plane. Material laws were more fluid there, but only for him. He had a goal and loaded his desire into a virus or bacteria, and they did the rest. It would either work or it wouldn't. He was seriously making a hayfever syndrome from a hentai he watched.

Mittelt patted his back when he started chuckling. "Do you want to see the floating mountains of Pandora?"

…

Zack opened a portal instead of being carried by Mittelt because he didn't feel like being treated like a damsel. They stood on one of the larger mountains where the pandora equivalent of dragons flew by. Portals occasionally snatched the ones he liked and deposited them randomly. A few splattered on the ground before he got a handle on where to put them.

Mittelt kicked a rock, sending it sailing to the other mountain in the distance. Zack saw a small explosion and whistled, "Low gravity, it's hardly a challenge."

Her throw gave him an idea. Could he use pokéballs to get over the F rank limit? It was something to look into, but pokémon was very dangerous. A helicopter flew by the mountain and turned in their direction.

"Huh, this place blocks communications. Why are they flying here," Mittelt asked.

He forgot about that. "It looks like they plan to land. We finally get to talk to the locals."

"The Smurfs don't count." Mittelt said.

"No, they aren't relevant. Think about it rationally. They are going to piss off the rich people one time, too many, and there are no laws out here in space. All someone has to do is silence their signals to return to Earth, and they can do whatever they want. I bet it's going to be smallpox 2.0." Zack said.

A Smurf with braided beads in her hair got out of the chopper. With two more Smurfs armed with machine guns. It was getting good, and he couldn't wait to see what they did next.

"It does look like Sigourney Weaver, who is only younger. We have to add her to the collection. I think the light tree would be best, or do you think she's going to the dark side." Mittelt asked.

"Relax, I got this handled. We'll hear them out. It will be fun, and then we'll snatch the celebrity and have her breed a bunch of little Sigourney Weavers." Zack said.

Mittelt squealed in happiness. Then she put on her serious angel face and unleashed her twelve wings in all their glory, with her three black haloes shining blacker and more menacing than ever before. She also wore a crop top for the occasion and had a succubus tattoo from hentai over her womb.

Zack felt underdressed in his cargo shorts, Crocs, and wife beater. He looked more like he stepped out of a trailer park than some teleporting mage.

"What the hell are you two, and why are you here?" Grace asked.

Mittelt turned to Zack with all smiles. Then she flashed two thumbs up but kept silent. It looked like he was taking the lead.

"We are tourists," Zack said but added nothing further.

"Tribes are missing. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that."

"Yeah, we're following the standard Spanish conquistador doctrine when colonizing foreign nations. We killed the men and took the women. Don't worry; we didn't leave the Xenos unaccounted for. You can thank us later." Zack said.

She took a step back. The very male humans in avatar bodies looked nervous. "Are you just here to fuck with the natives, or are humans also on your list?" Grace said.

This was great. She looked at the angel and human mage wide-eyed. This was terrible in her book. Zack and Mittelt had effectively killed the rebellion before gaining traction. It was great fuck Jack and the rip-off of Pocahontas. He preferred the exaggerated tale of the conquest anyway.

"Oh, I found a marine driving a mech. He's, huh, balls deep in Smurf pussy right now. Good for him. It looks like the hay fever is working, or na'vi from different tribes tossed in an alien environment needed stress relief."

"Which tree habitat did you send him?" Mittelt asked.

"The demon energy one those girls seemed a little stressed. Some seem perturbed by the marine's lack of a head tentacle to bond. Eh, I'll work on getting him waifu for his harem." Zack said.

"Are you a god?"

"I could bend half the gods over my knee and spank them." Mittelt bragged.

"More than half of them would like it, " Zack said, turning to the blue woman with stripes on her body. That depends on your definition. Suppose you're asking if I have a domain with complete control, near omnipresence, and potency, yes. If you're asking if I'm a conglomerate of human ideals and latent magic energy that gained consciousness, then no, I'm very human."

"Why are you doing this? What did the people do to deserve you and the humans' reward." Grace asked.

"I'm human. It's as simple as that. If I was a na'vi, I might kill all the men and take the women. That is the most basic tactic to wipe out a person and replace it with your own. I will breed the na'vi until they are a part of human genetics, nothing more or less. In a few generations, there will be no pure na'vi. Take a picture. It will be all that remains after I obliterate their culture and make them only another part of my domain." Zack said.

"Humans only destroy Earth, which is nearly uninhabitable. The na'vi are one with nature. Doesn't that make the na'vi better?"

Zack snorted at that. "Humans create and surpass our limitations while na'vi have lived comfortably with their status quo for millennia. If they were better, as you say, then why do I have nothing to fear from them? Humans have nuclear options, while I can kill bow-wielding savages with impunity."

She backed away, staring at Zack like he was the devil himself while Mittelt cackled beside him. "That was an ok monologue. Maybe work on the word salad." Mittelt said.

"Thank you. Your opinion matters, and I'll work on improving it in the next world we decide to go with the gauntlet."

"Is there anything they can do to avoid this fate?" Most of what he said was bullshit. There were infinite pandoras and so much new blood to acquire. He planned to grab a few males to add to the tribes to perpetuate the pure na'vi bloodline. The hay fever would ensure plenty of human na'vi action. "No, I will strip them away from this world and take them away from everything they have ever known." Into a world that looks almost exactly like their own world with their soul trees with which to bond. Truly, he was a monster unlike any other in human history.

She raised a pistol, and he only smiled while Mittelt placed a light barrier around them. Bullets flew and impacted the light barrier to no effect.

Zack opened a portal behind one, and a bear's jaws snapped at his brain stem, killing him instantly. The beat dragged the man Smurf into the portal to eat the body. Grace stepped back and fell into his portal, where he stopped her consciousness from returning to her body. Hay fever hit her, and Zack placed her in the magic village.

The last one stepped into a portal only large enough for his leg to fall through. Zack decided to try something he hadn't practiced yet. He raised his hand and squeezed. The portal tightened, but much to his disappointment, it didn't cut the man's leg off. It seemed using portals as weapons wasn't yet viable.

A light spear punched through the man's head, ending him then and there.

"So what's the plan? Are you going to take DNA from an angel or demon and make your own avatar body," Mittelt asked.

"Oh, you caught on that we had a purpose here besides fun and games," Zack said.

Mittelt shrugged. "I thought we were having a great date even if you had another motive."

"The technology probably wouldn't work outside of the world of Avatar. The humans here are putting their full consciousnesses into the avatars and almost leaving their human bodies behind. It was easy to cut the connection to her human body and put her fully in her avatar body in my demi-plane. Most of the hard part was already done on their end."

"What now," Mittelt asked.

"We wait until the RDA is blasting home tree and moving in to clean them out, and then I think we're done. As much fun as it is being a murder hobo, it's no fun picking on those weaker than myself, and there isn't much else I want to steal." Zack said.

"You should take Jake Sully's girl and fuck her and her mother."

"Really," Zack said.

"You wouldn't feel jealous," Zack said.

Mittelt waved her hand. "I'm going to have one stuff my backdoor with her tongue, and another does it to my pussy while you fuck their blue cunts." Mittelt said.

"You're an amazing girlfriend. But I don't like her mother. I think fucking her will be enough."

"I know I'm great, and you could make her wear a paperback over her head. Oh, and Rias is coming over tomorrow, so we should get a move on if we want to do this before she comes over and makes everything about her," Mittelt said.

…

It wasn't hard. Neytiri was out on a hunt when he captured her with a portal in a field. Flowers were spraying hay fever, causing pollen in the air. She was half mad with lust before she hit the ground. He used his skill disguise for the first time since stepping onto Pandora.

Zack grabbed pieces of brush and built a Pandora Gilly suit, disguising himself as moss. He slowly crawled his way toward his target. Portals opened, and he used birds native to Pandora. A few young hunters actually killed them with arrows before retrieving them to cook. Well, there were always more where that came from.

Some aspiring hunter pissed on his bush while he maintained his disguise, and he gained levels in disguise for it. The experience was humiliating. According to the living birds, It took them hours to leave the area.

Zack followed the well-worn trails to the na'vi camp, slowly closing in on his target. The woman was yapping in the na'vi language, which rallied the defenders. More levels dropped in his lap, and hunters seemed to notice him approach and then smell the piss and proceeded to piss on the bush as well. By the time he was in range, he smelled like a latrine and was beyond pissed.

He rose to his feet after pulling himself for hours. Up a tree, disguising himself as moss and then a bush, and after all his effort, it would be worth it. One of the na'vi pointed at him, and a portal opened beneath Mo'at Neytiri's mother.

Disguise continued to increase because the na'vi didn't realize what he was. They seemed to think he was a monster or evil spirit. Arrows flew, and he slapped them out of the air. He would clean the smell of piss away with blood. He bent his knees and shot forward, arm raised like a club, and smashed in the head of the hunter that shot at him. He opened his mouth and howled out all his rage. Women ran into portals as he threw haymakers that turned na'vi men into mush.

He felt a bullet impact his chest and heard the gunshot. Zack turned to see Jack Sully, of all people, aiming a rifle at him. Zack turned to face the guy and roared loud enough to rattle the trees around him. The best thing was that his disguise was still leveling.

A na'vi with a spear charged him, and Zack caught the haft, yanked it out of the na'vi's hands, and flung it hard. An elderly na'vi, the chief, saw it in the chest with two men behind him. Screams and panic surrounded him as he sent portals to capture the women and children. Zack didn't kill kids. That was the only rule he wouldn't cross, even in a no-consequence world.

Zack sat atop a pile of bodies as he went through his pop-ups. Being the king of the jungle was fun, but after a bit of fun, he would have to return to the real world and deal with people who mattered. This was a fun vacation after getting slammed by all three biblical factions.

Would you like to learn the skill Rampage?

y/n

Would you like to learn the skill Mystic?

y/n

Would you like to learn the skill Berserk?

y/n

Would you like to learn the skill Spear Mastery?

y/n

He looked through the skills and focused on one. Mystic seemed to speak to him. He chose it, but he was not sure what it did, but it sounded cool.

His mana surged as if awake for the first time, and he felt his strength, body, and reflex attributes climb through the skill alone. He screamed as a new power awakened within him.

Disguise G: 99/99

Mystic G: 1/999