Kapitel 26: I Can’t Be Without You Chapter 26
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"Are you really calm now?"
Sena placed his tea on the table and took a seat.
"You seem distant."
Seeing Chloe after so long, Sena noticed her pallor. Her once glossy hair had lost its luster, and her characteristic stern demeanor seemed subdued.
"Yeah."
"I thought you'd be angry."
"I can't be. I can't summon any anger. Seeing you, feeling glad, nothing else comes to mind. My mind's gone blank."
Sena managed a bitter smile.
I'm glad to see you too, Chloe.
But we shouldn't be seeing each other.
After all, I'll be gone soon. You have more days ahead without me.
"Why did you leave? Did you hate me? Whatever it was, I must've done wrong. I won't do it again. I've been bad."
Sena's throat tightened.
Chloe had done nothing wrong.
Of course.
But he couldn't tell her.
"You did nothing wrong."
"T-then why did you…? Why did you suddenly leave like that?"
"That's…"
'Choose your words carefully, Sena.'
Sena closed his eyes.
Much hinged on these few words.
He must play the villain.
Being loved while on borrowed time is too much.
Let's not leave any regrets.
"It wasn't fun."
"…"
"I left because it wasn't fun. It's not like we had any precious memories, right? Honestly, I don't understand why Chloe's making a big deal out of this."
'This is right.'
It was merely a life that wouldn't last more than two months. Even if he had just appeared, he would leave this place tomorrow.
Sena gazed sharply at Chloe. His words carried a weight of absolute truth.
But—was deceiving a long-time friend too much?
"That's… a lie, Sena."
"…"
"Thank goodness. There must have been another reason."
Caught red-handed. How could she see through his lie so easily? Was he that bad at pretending?
Sena forced a bitter laugh.
"Yeah, it was a lie. They were all precious memories to me. But it won't change, Chloe. I'm leaving. From here too."
"…!"
Chloe's pupils got bigger.
Sena looked down.
"I hope you don't come looking for me. It would be awkward if you suddenly appeared like this."
The restrained tension around Chloe's eyes dissipated in an instant.
She rose from her seat and knelt at Sena's feet.
Chloe's pride was stronger than anyone's. Her act of kneeling meant she was desperate enough to set aside all pride.
"Please don't leave."
"I'll do better. I won't get angry anymore, or throw tantrums. Or, you don't even have to meet me. Just stay in the Order. Maybe I'll catch a glimpse of you passing by. I can endure not greeting you. Really. I don't ask for anything else. Just let me see your face from afar."
Towards the end, Chloe's voice trembled so heavily it was barely comprehensible.
Sena felt as if someone had struck him hard on the head.
"I can't live without you… So please."
Sena avoided Chloe's gaze.
If he saw her now, he would embrace her and promise not to leave.
The words to say were already decided, weren't they?
"I'm sorry."
"At least that much…"
Chloe's tears soaked the carpet once again.
"You can at least do that much…"
Sena desperately suppressed the urge to embrace Chloe, who was on the verge of tears.
A brief silence passed.
Sena patiently waited for Chloe's tears to dry.
The oppressive silence stretched on. Should he be the first to speak, he wondered.
In a subdued voice, Chloe finally said.
"I think I'll call it a day."
"…Yeah. Take care."
"Sena."
Chloe looked at Sena expressionlessly.
"Just as you did what you wanted, I will do what I want. I'm glad I met you. Thanks to you, I've made up my mind."
"…That's good."
Chloe stood up from her seat.
In the end, not a single sip of tea was had. Her rolling eyes shone with the reverberation of her magical power.
The room felt eerily silent after Chloe disappeared. It was almost desolate.
Perhaps they would never meet again. This might have been their last encounter.
Sena shook his head. His heart felt suffocated.
"…It hurts."
**
A somewhat melancholic morning passed.
Meals were skipped. There was no appetite, and there was no time.
He needed to revise his will. The testament Sena would leave behind for everyone.
The best outcome would be that no one even knew of his death, but that would be difficult.
His father was an archbishop. Even if unknown, wouldn't there be a loud funeral?
To acquaintances who might come then, it would be a misdeed not to have a will.
"It's more like an excuse than a will."
I'll read it again later and make corrections if necessary. Today's efforts would end here.
Sena sealed the letter named 'To Chloe' and placed it at the very bottom of his suitcase.
Knock, knock.
Closing the bag at the sound, Sena slid it under the bed.
"Come in."
Creak.
Serilda entered. She held a basket in her hand.
"I-I'm sorry."
"Hm?"
"I got the tea your friend likes, but it seems I'm too late. Sylvia mentioned they had already left."
"It's okay, really. I didn't expect you so soon."
Sena grinned and took the basket. Inside were stacks of Rendel black tea.
"Oh, you really got it. And the premium kind, too."
Fetching Rendel black tea was a task Sena often assigned. Many patients wanted to repay him, and it seemed impolite to keep refusing, so the more, the better the items chosen.
Of course, it was also handy for times when he needed a brief respite like now. In that sense, Serilda did an excellent job with her duties.
"My friend likes this tea too, but I think I like it best. Thank you, Serilda. Thanks to you, I worry less about tea."
"…Yes."
However, Serilda couldn't meet Sena's eyes. She seemed unusually fidgety.
"Hm? I said it's really okay."
"Um, S-Sena, Sena-nim. It's just that…"
Serilda kept glancing out the window. Sensing her unease, Sena walked towards where her gaze fell.
"Ahhh…!"
Though Serilda reached out her hand, a maid couldn't stop her master's steps.
Sena opened the window and peered outside.
-Well, they say you shouldn't be drunk.
– I'm sorry, Sister. I'm just here because I followed Justitia's guidance.
-Then could you at least do something about the smell of alcohol before coming here!
-Justitia likes alcohol.
-You just decided on your own! You drunkard!
…The noise was so loud that one might wonder why no one heard it.
Sena smiled awkwardly.
"…I'm not sure if I should be relieved that she's still the same or worried about alcohol addiction."
Priestess Seria.
She was a disciple of Cardinal Nemesis. Nemesis and Cruyff were priests who get along very well.
They had been close since childhood. Like childhood friends.
…But she grew up a bit strangely. When she was young, she had a cute side…
-Would you like to do it once before I become a priest? S*x.
That didn't happen.
Let's bury those memories.
"Oh, Sena. Hello. Your face has gotten longer since we last met. Hmm? Now it looks like two faces."
Sena sighed and gestured for her to come up.
**
Sena handed a letter to Seria.
"I was going to write a letter anyway. Read this."
"Uh, some water…"
But Seria trembled as if she were about to die.
Sena sighed deeply and said to Serilda.
"Would you give this drunkard a glass of water? Something cold to clear her mind."
"Yes, yes."
Carefully, Serilda handed Seria a cup of water. Seria gulped down the water and wiped her mouth.
"Whew, I thought I was going to die."
After spitting out tough words, she glanced alternately at Sena and Serilda with a gentle smile.
"God bless you both. I am Seria, a priest of the Order of Justitia. Thank you, sister, for giving me the gift of Justitia."
"It's too late to pretend to be faithful."
Sena looked at her as if he were looking at garbage.
'Can I trust her with this?'
The thought passed briefly, but the reality was that there was no suitable alternative.
Although she seemed otherwise, she was an excellent priest. At least when dealing with patients.
"You read the letter first, and Serilda, please step out for a moment."
"Yes, Sena-nim."
Serilda left the room. Seria sat down at the table with a serious expression and received the letter.
After a moment.
Seria looked up and said to Sena.
"I understand. It was indeed like that."
Sena's lips trembled.
"Will you read it with your eyes open?"
Seria had her eyes closed. To be precise, she always kept her eyes closed.
"Did I get caught…? Everyone else didn't notice."
"We've known each other for 15 years."
"It's been 11 years. You were gone for 4 years."
Seria grinned. Sena was already gazing at a distant mountain.
Seria, who read her letter in the meantime, responded.
"Yes. I've confirmed the contents. It says to continue from you and become the Empress's physician."
"Yeah."
"That means you'll run away again soon."
"…"
"How much time is left?"
Sena turned his back to Seria and approached the window.
Sylvia was seen leaning against a large tree and drooling with her eyes closed.
The numbers reflected in the window and the figure of Seria looking eerily at him with red eyes.
Sena spoke briefly.
"66 days."
"Not much time left. Really, now."
Seria had a unique ability.
The ability to see the 'fate' of living creatures. It was a little different from Sena's case.
Sena could discern the 'exact' lifespan, including 'disease' and 'accidental death'.
However, what Seria saw was the predetermined lifespan of a human being. It was about how long one could live without any illness or accident.
She can't even see detailed numbers. Humans with long lifespans have a blue flame that burns brightly as if it would burn everything.
The smaller its lifespan, the smaller the blue flame, she said.
For reference, she said that Sena had a precarious flame that could go out at any moment.
So, he couldn't hide anything from her.
He was just asking for a favor. Not to tell anyone. Seria had only kept half of her promise. She told Cruyff.
"You said some harsh things to Chloe."
"…It couldn't be helped."
"You should have been honest."
"Then that girl will be trying every possible method to keep me alive until I die. She might even become a dark mage."
Seria chuckled.
"I can't deny that. It would be troublesome if Chloe became a dark mage. She might become humanity's greatest enemy."
Sena looked at Seria again.
"I'm asking you."
"However, if that person's 'fate' is short, I will stop without hesitation."
"I understand. You don't cling to hopeless patients. But… guide them well until their permitted lifespan."
Seria felt reluctant, but she couldn't ignore the final request of her dying friend.
"I promise."
Sena felt a slight weight lifted off his shoulders.
A faint smile crept across his face. This would fulfill his duty to Astria.
'The atmosphere feels a bit heavier.'
Seria and he didn't fit into such a mood.
Sena joked while carrying the burden.
"But aren't you taking a risk by not quitting alcohol even after becoming an official priest?"
"Excuse me, Sister. If someone sees me, they might think I'm addicted to alcohol. Yesterday, I met Sister Chris after a long time and let off some steam."
Seria tended to talk more when she felt guilty. Like now.
"Oh, really? But even if you didn't meet Chris, you would have drunk, right?"
"It depends on how you see it. Even now, among those who know, I'm called a saint."
"If you're a saint, that deity must have made a mistake."
Seria's lips curled up slightly. She half-opened her eyes.
"Justitia won't forgive that. Repent."
"You don't believe in Justitia."
"Oh dear."
Seria clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle a burp.
"Uh, may you be punished."
The smell of alcohol lingered.
Sena wished she would leave quickly.
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