Nice to be back, hope you guys enjoy
—
"Make sure to take it easy for a week—rest your legs, no hard labor, or you'll just make things worse."
I spoke gently, leaning down to meet the gaze of the short, elderly hunchbacked woman across from my clinic stand. She wore tattered peasant rags, her frail frame practically swallowed by the folds of the fabric. My "clinic," if you could call it that, was little more than a simple wooden stall that blended in with the countless others lining Kikka's bustling streets.
Many would probably mistake it for any ordinary vendor's booth if not for the cursive sign overhead, crafted in bold, colorful letters with Acier's help:
S & A's Clinic.
Beside the name was a drawing—a figure in a long doctor's coat examining a wounded patient with an arm sling. The sketch was simple but clear, for the sake of those who couldn't read, though most never spared it more than a passing glance. Beneath the name, in smaller, humbler letters, was written:
Don't worry about money. All patients are welcome.
The old woman smiled softly, tilting her head up ever so slightly to look at me. Her chuckle was low and rasping, as though her lungs were straining to keep up with her humor. "Ho ho ho, I know, Sonny. Thanks fer the help, Doctor."
I scratched my cheek, feeling a little sheepish, and shook my head in mock reprimand. "I'm not a doctor yet, Ms. Harolds. You know that."
She paused, her cloudy eyes studying me, before letting out another low, wheezing laugh. "Who cares 'bout official credentials and all that? To us common folk, you're not just a doctor—you're the doctor. We wouldn't know what to do if you hadn't come into our lives."
A warmth bloomed in my chest at her words, spreading like the glow of a quiet hearth. I nodded, my voice tinged with slight embarrassment. "Thanks, Ms. Harolds. That really means a lot."
But instead of laughing again, she frowned. Her gaze shifted to the end of my stall, where the nearly empty money jar sat, a lonely testament to the struggles of the people I served. Her expression fell, and she lowered her head as if in shame. Without another word, she turned and hobbled away, her cane tapping softly against the cobblestones.
"Compared to what you've done fer penniless folks like me," she said over her shoulder, her voice raspy and laden with emotion, "this here is nothing."
I watched her retreating figure, the weight of her words sinking into me. My mouth opened, but no words came. After a moment, I cupped my hands around my mouth like a makeshift megaphone and called out.
"I don't do it for the money! I don't need it!" Especially not with whose husband I am now. So don't feel pressured to pay me!
Her frail figure paused for a moment, her cane trembling as she lifted it into the air in a silent gesture. Without turning around, her hoarse voice drifted back toward me, the sound fragile, like dried leaves carried on the wind.
"That right there's the problem, Sonny… It's those who do thankless things, never askin' for anything in return… who get the worst end…"
Her voice grew softer, fading into the distance, until I could no longer hear her. My chest tightened with an ache I couldn't quite put into words.
Still, I called after her, my voice cutting through the hum of the streets, even though I knew she might not hear me.
"See you soon, Ms. Harolds! Don't skip your appointments, or I'll come knocking on your door!"
"And Happy New Year!" [1]
After a while, I lowered my arms and tilted my head back, gazing up at the darkening sky. The moon slowly began to rise, its silver light casting a faint glow on the black horizon. With a deep breath, I brought my head down again, scanning the nearly empty streets to my left and right.
I patted my mouth as a yawn escaped me. "Hooah."
It's time to head home. Any later, and I'll be locked out of the noble realm for the night when curfew hits. The thought made me chuckle quietly. I could already picture Acier's unamused expression and the earful she'd give me tomorrow morning if that happened.
Shaking my head with a small smile, I turned my thoughts to home—to my wife… and to him. A new face appeared in my mind: a tiny, scrunched-up red face with wide eyes, framed by a shock of soft silver-white hair. My son. My boy. Only yesterday had he entered my life, but already I felt like I couldn't bear to be apart from him.
A gentle, fond smile tugged at my lips.
I really want to quit my job… The thought struck me again, the same as it had all day. I just want to stay by their side—be a full-time father and husband.
But Acier hadn't let me. She'd practically pushed me out the door this morning, telling me it wouldn't be right to abandon all of my patients just because I'd become a father. And, of course, she was right. She always is.
Besides, the Silvas had hundreds of servants and maids to lighten her load. It wasn't as though she were managing everything alone. Still, I wanted to do my part—not as the future head of House Silva, not as a healer, but simply as her husband and his father.
Even if that meant letting the people here down.
I shook my head, clearing away the conflicting thoughts, and stretched with a bemused grin. My shoulders rolled, my neck cracked, and I twisted my hips to work out the day's stiffness. Then I turned to my stall, scanning it for the day's supplies to pack away: the nearly empty money jar, brewed potions, ointments, pain relievers, elixirs, and tools—knives, scissors, clamps, forceps, ligatures, and more.
Pulling my large leather pouch from the edge of the stall, I fell into the practiced rhythm of packing. Metal tools were wrapped in a towel and placed carefully at the bottom. Elixirs went into a rectangular tray above them, cushioned by small, square beanbags of varying colors to keep them secure.
Finally, I tipped the money jar over, shaking out the few coins of Yule I'd earned today, before pocketing them. The jar went back on the stall ledge.
With everything packed, I slung the heavy bag over my back and secured it around my chest with a double knot. One last glance at the stall, and I hurried off.
Flying above the castle town on a broom was tempting—it would get me home to Castle Silva so much faster. But I knew better. Too many nobles still weren't happy about Acier's and my marriage, and there were bound to be Magic Knights among them who'd abuse their authority just to throw me in a cell for something petty.
Flying above the realm at night without the proper clearance? That'd be all the excuse they'd need.
Any other time, I wouldn't care. Most Magic Knights on night duty wasted away in pubs, drunk instead of patrolling. But now I'm a father. I can't take the risk. Not when I need to get home to him.
So, instead, I jogged. Not too fast—I didn't have the stamina to sprint all the way from Kikka to the royal palace. The distance was far too great, and I'd tire out before I got close.
"Heh," I muttered under my breath, a derisive snort escaping me. "Just you snobs wait. Once I inherit House Silva, let's see you try to pull rank with me then."
As I darted through Kikka's winding streets, climbing the slope toward the royal capital, a soft, feeble voice—young and trembling—called out from somewhere nearby.
"Please, sir… can you spare some change?"
Hmm? I froze mid-step, my brow arching in curiosity, before turning toward the source of the voice. It had come from an alleyway to my left.
What I saw made me pause.
Down the narrow passage, seated cross-legged against a brick house on a torn and frayed rug, was a small figure. At first glance, I could only assume it was a child. Assume being the operative word, since the figure was almost entirely obscured beneath a tattered brown coat riddled with holes that revealed glimpses of bare skin underneath.
That thin, smooth skin and the boyish timbre of the voice pegged him as a child, probably no older than ten.
From just that quick glance, I could tell he wasn't in immediate danger—his skin tone suggested he was reasonably healthy for a street kid. But as I glanced skyward at the darkening clouds, the chilling breeze picking up speed, and the faint, almost imperceptible flakes of snow falling, I knew his health wouldn't mean much when the night deepened. The Clover Kingdom was about to be swallowed by a fierce winter storm.
I'm not what anyone would call overly sympathetic, but I have my limits. And ever since becoming a father, it seems my bar for "things I can ignore" has been raised considerably higher.
The old me might've walked away. The current me? Not a chance.
So I stepped stiffly into the alleyway, my sandals crunching against the frozen ground, and stopped just in front of him. Lowering myself to one knee, I tilted my head slightly, angling for a better view of his face. But as if sensing my intent, the child lowered his head further, retreating deeper into the shadows of his hood.
That small, defensive gesture froze me in place. Narrowing my eyes, I sighed inwardly. Poor kid probably thinks I'm trying to size him up like prey.
I couldn't fault him for it. I'd lived that life before, a secret double one—scraping by as a street rat after my parents decided to, well… end their lives' chapter a little early.
If there's one rule you learn on the streets, it's this: Never let anyone see your weakness. Hiding your identity is the best defense, and the boy's oversized hood was proof enough that he knew the rules well.
So now what?
I wanted to help him, but I also knew that whatever had led him to this life probably made him wary—if not outright distrustful—of strangers. Trying to pry into his life or force help on him would only drive him away.
I needed to respect his distance.
Reaching into my pocket, I grabbed the small handful of coins I'd earned today and held them above his lap. Without a word, I let them drop, the coins clinking softly as they landed in his hands.
From above, I caught the faintest glimpse of his mouth parting, as though in surprise. I let out an apologetic chuckle.
"Sorry, kid. From the way I'm dressed, you probably thought I was some rich noble and expected a lot more. But I never leave the noble realm loaded." I scratched the back of my neck with a sheepish grin. "Force of habit. Back in the day, it helped keep muggers off my back. And, well, my wife won't let me carry around too much, either."
I shifted slightly, softening my tone. "It's not much, I know. But it's more than enough to get you a warm bed and a proper meal at a tavern tonight. Don't even think about toughing it out in this cold. You won't survive the night—not with the snowstorm that's coming."
The boy stayed silent, still holding the coins as though unsure what to do. His mouth remained in that small "O" shape of shock.
I pressed on, hoping my words would convince him. "Look, there's no point in saving up for tomorrow when survival tonight is what matters. Besides, if you make it through and you're here again tomorrow, you can count on me for a much bigger donation."
After a brief moment, as if registering my words, I saw the boy's gaping mouth close into a tight-lipped line before quivering upward into a soft smile. Another second passed, and he spoke again, his voice still soft but carrying an odd charisma that felt far too mature for his age.
"You're… a really good person."
My eyes widened at his words, and a strange warmth tickled at my chest, stirring that good feeling deep inside. I scratched my chin sheepishly, unable to meet his gaze.
"I-It's nothing…" I stammered, my usual calm and composed demeanor unraveling in the presence of this mere child. I couldn't explain it, but something about him struck a chord in me—a deep, inexplicable resonance that seemed to call from the very core of my being. It was as if this boy's presence alone compelled me to give—everything I knew, everything I had, everything I was.
That feeling terrified me.
My instincts screamed for me to leave, to get far away from him, but my body betrayed me. I remained kneeling, hovering over the boy like some bizarre statue. Even my face refused to cooperate—my startled smile stretched unnaturally across my lips, frozen in place. If anyone else had seen me at that moment, they would've called it eerie.
The boy, unfazed, tilted his head slightly and continued, his tone calm yet strangely piercing.
"Why are you being so nice to a mere stranger? Child or not, you shouldn't let your guard down so easily."
I didn't want to answer him. A chill ran down my spine at his words, but my mouth moved on its own, spilling my thoughts like water through a broken dam.
"I-I'm a papa now. My son, Nozel, was just born. I want to try to be kinder, braver—a better person, someone he can look up to and admire… even if it could come back to bite me."
The words left my lips before I could stop them, and my pupils dilated in sheer horror. What had I just done? I'd confessed something so deeply personal, something I'd have been too embarrassed to even share with Acier, and here I was, blurting it out to a complete stranger.
Panic surged through me. I needed to leave. Now. But once again, my body refused to obey.
The boy smiled softly at my confession, nodding his head in what seemed to be acknowledgement.
"That's good. That's very good," he said, his voice filled with a strange kind of approval. "Humans looking out for humans, the privileged helping the lesser-born, and those enduring hardship… That's the kind of world I want to see."
I stayed silent, my tongue still bound by whatever unseen force kept me rooted in place.
"Or rather," the boy corrected, his smile faltering into a brief frown, "that's the kind of world I wanted to see."
The chill in my spine deepened as he carried on.
"Your actions today are meaningless in the grand scheme of things," he said, his tone matter-of-fact yet dripping with a dark edge. "A mere drop of white in the boundless black ocean of human wickedness, struggle, and misery. True change, true peace, can only be achieved by rebuilding humanity and this world from scratch."
"Creak."
My leg bones trembled as my body finally began responding to my will. Ligaments clicked as I fought against the invisible pull keeping me kneeling. Slowly, agonizingly, I began to rise.
But the boy rose with me, his movements deliberate, his expression calm yet unreadable.
"Of course," he continued, now standing fully, "to create such a world, sacrifices must be made. Certain people must endure hatred and tribulations—for the greater good."
Now standing face-to-face, I towered over the boy, my eyes fixed on the brick wall behind him. My body felt frozen, yet my heart pounded in erratic, fearful adrenaline.
The boy's voice cut through the tension like a blade.
"To ensure the trend of times doesn't stray too far from my vision, I must intervene where necessary," he said, his tone almost casual, as though he were commenting on the weather. "Normally, you're an insignificant individual. But the few uchronia where Sebastian Silva ends up as a good person…"
He paused, and for the first time, I thought I saw something like regret flicker across his features.
"...always cause things to unfold in unpredictable ways. Undesirable ways."
Thump! Thump! Thump!
My heart raced as his words echoed in my mind.
What in God's name is he talking about?!
Like a marionette manipulated by invisible strings, my head lowered against my will, my gaze following suit until I was face-to-face with the boy. Simultaneously, he raised his head, his eyes meeting mine for the first time.
I finally saw his face.
Shaggy, long black hair framed his features. His brownish eyes carried the faintest tint of mahogany, unassuming at first glance. But what truly caught my attention was the black sun mark etched on the right side of his forehead. It didn't look like a tattoo—it was something far stranger.
The boy smiled softly, a disarming expression that only deepened my unease. Slowly, deliberately, he raised his right arm, pointing upward toward me.
"I applaud you, Sebastian," he said, his voice calm yet filled with an otherworldly gravity, "for being one of your few parallels to foster compassion and rapport in this loop. But alas, all that will create is fleeting peace."
He curled his fist, leaving only his pointer finger extended, and then moved it toward my forehead with an agonizing slowness.
"To make a world where your wife, your son, your future children, and all of humanity can experience true and eternal equality," he said, his voice almost soothing, "I'm going to need you to sleep for a while."
And then he tapped my forehead.
The sensation was indescribable. It wasn't pain, nor was it entirely physical. It felt as if my very spirit—my soul—was retreating, dragged into the deepest, darkest recesses of my mind. A vast black void unfolded before me, dotted with countless spherical silver lights floating aimlessly in the abyss.
I felt an invisible force sweeping me away, pulling me deeper into this strange space. Panic surged within me, and I tried to resist. I tried to swim forward, to fight against the current. But before I could make any headway, everything stopped.
I froze in midair.
The force holding me suddenly ceased, and I plummeted, landing hard on my knees on the black, astral sea-like floor.
Out of nowhere, white chains shot up from the dark surface, coiling around my limbs and throat. They bound me completely. I struggled against them, but it was no use.
In front of me, a large white screen flickered to life, opening like a window to reveal the same scene I had just lived through.
The boy. His hand tapping my forehead.
But this time, something felt different. It no longer felt like my own experience. Instead, I was watching—living through someone else's eyes, someone else's body.
On the screen, I saw the boy lower his hand and clasp his arms behind his back. His scrutinizing gaze fell on me, equal parts pleased and apologetic.
"I called it sleep," he began, his tone soft, almost regretful, "but that might be too cruel. Instead, I'll have you watch—watch the frivolity and fragility of those precious bonds of yours when exposed to the oppression of innate human nature. Watch the frailty of the human heart. The pitiful and vulnerable souls That One cursed us with."
My panic turned to outrage. "Who are you?! What are you doing?! Why are you doing this to me?!" I shouted, my voice trembling with disbelief and fury.
Instinct told me that this boy had nothing to do with the nobles and royals I had crossed. He wasn't part of Lux's camp or entourage. If he were, Acier would already bear the Kira name. No, this was something else—something far larger, far more terrifying.
My voice echoed through the void, but on the screen, I saw no movement from my lips. I wasn't speaking in the real world anymore.
Dread consumed me, but somehow, the boy seemed to hear me all the same.
He sighed softly, shaking his head. "You wouldn't understand if I explained it to you now," he said, his tone resigned. "All will be made clear in the future."
Then, with an air of mockery—or perhaps twisted reassurance—he reached out and patted my shoulder.
"Sebastian," he said, his voice almost kind, "no matter what happens in the future, no matter what your body does, I hope you can remember: it's not your fault."
"What do you mean?!" I demanded, desperation clawing at my throat.
Again, he shook his head, ignoring my plea. "Don't worry," he said, his hand still resting on my shoulder. "To ensure your soul doesn't dissipate or fall into despair, and so you can serve me faithfully at my divine throne, I won't completely lock your will away."
His grin widened, unnervingly bright. "Every now and then, you'll be you again. You'll have control of your body, though what you can do and say will be restricted. After all, history must follow the most correct course."
I could only stare, frozen in disbelief, as he delivered his final words.
"I've taken up too much of your time already," he said, almost casually. "Your wife is probably worried sick. I hear women are quite emotional after giving birth—it's best not to keep her waiting."
The atmosphere shifted, the conversation—or whatever this was—drawing to a close.
Raising his pointer finger once more, the boy smiled at me. "Thanks for the money, Sebastian. I'll use it wisely. See you in 33 years, my new friend."
"Oh and happy New Years."
And with one final tap to my forehead, everything went black.
—
"Baboo… Baboo… Baboo!"
Sebastian's eyes snapped open, his heartbeat spiking as the adorable, familiar voice pulled him awake. A pudgy little mass was tapping insistently on his face, dangerously close to his forehead. A surge of panic flared within him, the memory of a strange and haunting dream still fresh, but he forced himself to remain calm.
Blinking rapidly, he found himself staring into the sparkling eyes of Noelle, perched firmly on his chest as he lay in bed. Her tiny hands continued patting his face, her persistence finally rewarded as her father stirred.
Sebastian watched as recognition flickered across Noelle's cherubic face, her big, round eyes widening in delight as she realized she had succeeded. Clapping her hands together, she let out an unmistakable giggle of triumph.
Clap! Clap! Clap! "A-ga, a-da, a-ga!"
Sebastian couldn't help the exasperated smile that tugged at his lips. Sliding his hands upward, he gently pinched her cheeks, earning a fresh round of gleeful coos and laughter from the ten-month-old.
"Aga, aga, aga!"
With a playful chuckle, Sebastian began tickling Noelle's sides, her tiny body squirming atop him as her giggles filled the room. His gaze drifted upward, confirming what he had already guessed—he was in his own bedroom.
A moment later, a slender, familiar hand came into view, lightly patting Noelle's soft silver hair and drawing her attention.
"Wow, Noelle," a voice like honey spoke from his right, "did you wake Daddy up?"
Both father and daughter turned in unison. Sebastian tilted his head toward the right while Noelle craned hers slightly to the left. Sitting upright on her side of the bed was Acier, her radiant smile directed at their daughter.
Noelle, with a sense of dramatic flair only a baby could muster, pointed toward Sebastian and opened her mouth wide. "Mama… Baboo!"
Acier chuckled softly, her fond gaze unwavering. "Yes, I can see that. Daddy's awake now, all thanks to you. Good job!"
Noelle beamed at the praise, her little chest puffing with pride. If it were possible for a baby to look smug, she would have nailed it.
Acier leaned in, producing a damp towel seemingly out of nowhere, and began wiping the sweat from Sebastian's forehead with a practiced gentleness. Her movements were deliberate, soothing. She tossed him a teasing smile as she finished.
"Welcome back to the world of the living."
Sebastian flinched inwardly.
I'm going to need you to sleep for a while.
The voice from the dream—Lucius—echoed in his mind, sending an involuntary chill down his spine. His stomach churned with unease, but he forced a bemused smile, muttering under his breath, "It's not like I died."
Acier paused mid-motion, her expression shifting ever so slightly. For the briefest of moments, her gaze sharpened, suspicion flickering in her eyes. She placed the towel aside on the bedside drawer and leaned back slightly, her smile now tinged with a sly edge.
"Could've fooled me," she quipped, her tone light but pointed. "Though the one you shouldn't be defending yourself against isn't me."
Sebastian furrowed his brow, his body stiffening as he began to sit up. His joints protested audibly, his bones creaking in a symphony of discomfort that only deepened his grimace. He adjusted Noelle, bringing her snugly into his lap, his gaze locked on Acier.
"It's them," she added, tilting her head toward her left.
Sebastian's stomach dropped.
Following her gesture, he finally noticed the four figures standing silently beside her side of the bed. Dorothy, Nozel, Nebra, and Solid.
All of them stood with arms crossed, their expressions a mix of irritation and concern. Dorothy and Nozel's gazes were particularly sharp, practically dripping with disapproval. Meanwhile, Nebra and Solid struggled to maintain their unimpressed facades, though their worried glances betrayed their true feelings.
Sebastian's heart sank further as he took them in, their presence forcing him to confront the weight of what had just transpired.
"Well," he muttered, his voice low as he turned back to Acier, who was now regarding him with an expression that was equal parts amused and knowing, "this is going to be fun."
Acier smirked, her lips curving in that maddeningly confident way of hers. "Oh, you have no idea."
After a moment, Sebastian scratched his cheek sheepishly, trying to downplay the tension in the room. "Ha ha ha, it seemed like Mereoleona and I got a bit carried away."
Nozel's brow shot up, his expression icy as he stepped forward, leading the way around the bed. The others—Dorothy, Nebra, and Solid—followed in his wake, their postures radiating varying degrees of concern and frustration.
"Just a 'bit,' Father?" Nozel's tone was razor-sharp as he stopped at Sebastian's side. "I thought I'd be collecting your ashes during that battle. Honestly, cremation wouldn't have even been necessary. Mereoleona seemed more than willing to handle that herself."
Sebastian flinched slightly at the jab, his shoulders stiffening. He muttered under his breath, "Then shouldn't the one you pick a fight with be Mereoleona? It's not like I wanted to get torched."
Nozel's glare intensified, silencing Sebastian mid-mutter. Standing directly in front of his father now, Nozel crossed his arms and leaned in slightly. "Are you an idiot, Father? Mereoleona's personality and lack of restraint are legendary. Why would you even accept that challenge?"
Sebastian opened his mouth but found himself at a loss for words. His gaze darted nervously to the others. Dorothy, Nebra, and Solid stood with expectant looks, clearly waiting for his explanation. Behind him, he could feel Acier's gaze boring into the back of his head, clearly intrigued by how he planned to talk his way out of this one.
Racking his brain for an answer, Sebastian quickly discarded the idea of saying something like, "I didn't think it'd be so exaggerated." He knew that wouldn't fly.
After a beat, he sighed, bowing his head slightly in apology. "You're right. I'm sorry about that."
The kids stiffened, caught off guard by the unexpected sincerity. It looked like they were about to press him further, but Sebastian raised his head, locking eyes with Nozel.
"You're not the only one who wants to grow stronger," he said firmly.
Nozel's eyes narrowed at the statement, suspicion flashing across his face.
Sebastian continued, his tone resolute. "And so, I'm going to keep sparring with Mereoleona."
The vein on Nozel's forehead bulged as his frustration visibly mounted. He opened his mouth to argue, but Sebastian cut him off.
"The only thing I can promise you is that things won't go nearly as extreme next time."
The quartet exchanged helpless glances. Nozel finally snorted, crossing his arms again. "How can you even guarantee something like that?"
Before Sebastian could formulate a response, Nozel shifted his piercing gaze to Acier. His frown deepened. "And you, Mother—" his tone dripped with incredulity, "is this how all your supposed training sessions and spars with Mereoleona went? To this length?"
Everyone's attention snapped to Acier. Sebastian half-expected her to look sheepish under the scrutiny, but she was entirely unfazed.
Acier shook her head casually, her demeanor as calm as ever. "Not at all."
Sebastian's brow shot up. Wait… was Mereoleona just being petty with me and trying to make me bleed?
The thought stirred conflicting emotions. On one hand, he was mildly offended at the idea of being targeted so vindictively. On the other hand, he felt a grudging sense of relief that Acier hadn't endured the same kind of punishment during her own training.
Then, with an air of nonchalance, Acier twirled a strand of her hair and added, "I'm stronger than Mereoleona. A lot stronger. Our 'spars' were mostly me rubbing her face into the dirt until she ran out of mana and passed out."
Her tone was so matter-of-fact, it took a second for the words to fully register.
Yes, that was the real reason Mereoleona was dubbed the undefeated lioness of the battlefield. She'd been bested countless times but never once surrendered or admitted defeat. She either got knocked out or was physically incapacitated.
Nozel, Dorothy, Nebra, Solid, and Sebastian all froze, their expressions blank as they processed the revelation.
Sebastian blinked slowly, his lips parting as though to say something. Nothing came out.
Acier merely smiled serenely, clearly unbothered by the collective shock around her.
"…Well then," Sebastian finally managed to mutter, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "That… explains a lot."
Solid turned to Dorothy and Nebra, his voice a faint whisper. "So… was Father just unlucky, or does Mereoleona really hate him?"
Dorothy shot him a pointed look. "Do you even need to ask?"
Sebastian sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Great. Just great.
After a moment, Acier tapped her cheek thoughtfully with her pointer finger, a smile tugging at her lips. "But wow, Mereoleona has gotten a lot stronger since the last time we fought. The current me would actually have a bit of difficulty taking her down."
She turned and gave Sebastian an affectionate pat on the shoulder. "Not bad, Sebby, not bad at all."
Sebastian's brow twitched, his thoughts spiraling. Just a bit? You're not even at 100% right now! Just how strong are you?!
As though sensing his bewilderment, Acier chuckled softly and pinched his cheek. "Seriously, Sebby, you should be proud of yourself. I'd say Mereoleona's stronger than Ellenor and Lovillia now, practically on the same level as Kaiser—and even her father."
"What you did was no small feat. You're the talk of the kingdom right now!"
Sebastian's eyes widened in alarm. "Huh?! Word got out? Who talked?!"
"Father."
Sebastian turned to see Nozel standing with his arms crossed, his face painted with a look that Sebastian knew all too well—because it was one he'd worn countless times himself. It was that look. The one that said, You absolute idiot.
"When one destroys a good portion of the Silva estate," Nozel began coldly, "and blasts a hole in Clover Castle—any portion of Clover Castle—people will come to investigate."
Sebastian stiffened, his mouth opening in disbelief. Clover Castle? He thought back to the battle, trying to pinpoint the moment that must've happened.
Nozel's eyes gleamed with quiet exasperation. "Clover Castle hasn't witnessed such destruction since Mereoleona and Fuegoleon accidentally set the Vermillion estate on fire during their fight five years ago. It's already being called Hot-Blooded Tuesday in the history books."
Sebastian let out a sigh and slumped back against the bed frame, defeated. "What are people saying right now?"
Acier cozied up beside him, resting her head on his shoulder, her tone light and teasing. "Oh, many things," she said with a laugh.
"Augustus has praised you as the pride of the Clover Kingdom. He's even announced his intent to make you the Captain of the Royal Castle Knights!"
Sebastian winced visibly. Yeah, that's not happening. Being the Lord of House Silva, Royal Advisor to the King, and dealing with all his other responsibilities was already enough to make retirement feel like an impossible dream. Adding yet another title would surely finish him off.
Oblivious to—or perhaps ignoring—his discomfort, Acier continued with an amused glint in her eye. "Some are gossiping that Mereoleona was seeking justice for me—her beloved mentor—for all the torment I endured at the hands of my oh-so-cruel husband… but alas, she tragically failed in the end."
Sebastian's brow twitched in irritation.
"Then there's this one," Acier said, stifling a laugh as she spoke. "Apparently, after word of my recovery got out, Mereoleona finally summoned the courage to confess her taboo infatuation with me. She challenged you for my heart, but you—being the devoted husband you are—wouldn't let anyone steal your woman. Despite the odds stacked against you, you used every ounce of your strength to triumph and protect your princess."
Sebastian froze. His mind reeled. That one… That one has to be a lie.
He threw his children a glance, silently begging them to confirm it was nonsense. They all met his gaze, their expressions grim as they shook their heads.
Oh no… That one's real?!
Acier, unbothered by his horror, pressed on with her impromptu news broadcast. "Some are theorizing that, like any good scheming noble, you've been hiding your true strength all these years, only now revealing it to warn off anyone who might have ill intentions toward my recovery or House Silva."
"Others are claiming House Vermillion was one of those plotting our downfall. They couldn't accept my recovery and sent Mereoleona to eliminate me. But, naturally, you heroically intervened and defended my life."
Acier grinned cheekily. "They're even calling it the precursor to the Second Silvamillion War!"
Sebastian groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. He'd known the rivalry between the Silva and Vermillion families ran deep, but this was on another level.
"And then," Acier said, her voice dripping with mirth, "there's a rumor going around that you've been acting strangely these past few days. Some are accusing you of being an impostor and are demanding your identity be verified."
Sebastian opened his mouth, ready to retort, but Nozel stepped in with a dismissive cough. "Pay that no heed, Father. Both Conrad and His Majesty have already put those scandalous rumors to rest."
Sebastian leaned his head back against the wall and let out a long, exhausted breath. Just what did I get myself into?
Acier, still resting on his shoulder, smirked. "Cheer up, Sebby. At least you're not boring anymore."
Sebastian sighed, rubbing his forehead as a dull headache throbbed behind his temples. "Anything else I should know?"
Acier, lounging comfortably at his side, traced a finger along his cheek, her smile sly. "Well, that's it for the rumors. But I suppose there are a few minor things you should be aware of."
Sebastian turned his head, their noses nearly brushing. "Like what?"
Unaffected by their closeness, Acier continued her soft tracing of his cheek. "Amber and I agreed it's probably best to avoid meals with the extended family until after Nozel's and Dorothy's engagement. Just in case we, you know… accidentally destroy the preparations."
Sebastian gave an internal nod of approval. Good call.
Acier pressed on, her tone casual. "Aurelia, Florian, and their kids will still drop by every now and then, though."
Then, suddenly, her cheeks reddened, catching Sebastian off guard. She placed a hand on his stomach, her voice soft but teasing. "I got a glimpse when Mereoleona incinerated your clothes, but it was only after I dressed you that I realized how toned you've become. Sebby, why didn't you tell me you've been working out? I'm looking forward to the day you get a six-pack!"
Sebastian's face turned scarlet, his voice rising in a sharp hiss. "Acier!"
Feigning innocence, she tilted her head. "Hmm? What is it?"
He jerked his head slightly behind him, his eyes frantically darting toward their onlookers. Woman, we're not alone!
Acier blinked, finally registering the presence of Nozel, Dorothy, and Nebra—each of them blushing furiously. Solid, on the other hand, simply looked confused, too young to grasp the nuance of the situation. Meanwhile, Noelle remained happily squirming in Sebastian's lap, completely oblivious.
Acier pouted, while Nozel composed himself, casting Dorothy a sidelong glance. His brow furrowed as though caught in deep thought. Ladies like… things like that? He glanced down at his own arms, thin and wiry, and nodded inwardly. The body is the vessel for mana. There's no reason I shouldn't be training my physique alongside my magic.
Sebastian, still reeling from embarrassment, stilled as something clicked in his mind. He turned to Acier, his expression suspicious. "W-what do you mean by dressing me?"
Acier's lips curled into a mischievous smirk. "Well, we weren't going to let you sleep in torn rags, of course. Naturally, we changed your clothes."
Sebastian glanced down at himself, noticing for the first time the loose white nightgown he was wearing. His gaze dropped further, catching sight of the bandages wrapped around his chest and the faint green stains of ointment seeping through.
"Why did you do this? We have servants for things like this," he said, narrowing his eyes.
Acier's smile faltered into a frown. "Is that how you show gratitude?"
Sebastian opened his mouth, then closed it again, finally sighing in resignation. "I'm sorry. Thank you for helping me. But still, you didn't need to take on this burden yourself."
Her smile returned, softer this time. "I insisted on doing it. Besides, I've helped you plenty of times back in the day at your little clinic. I knew what I was doing!"
Sebastian scratched his cheek, his embarrassment growing. "I never doubted that. It's just… you don't have to go out of your way to do things like this alone."
Acier's eyes sparkled as she leaned back slightly. "Well, I wasn't necessarily alone."
Sebastian blinked in confusion, following her gaze to the other side of the room. There, Nozel stood stiffly, his face a mix of discomfort and awkward pride.
"Our dear Nozel," Acier said with a playful lilt, "looked like he was about to break down seeing you in that condition. He wouldn't stop fussing over you—helping me wash you down, apply ointment, wrap your bandages, and even carry you to bed."
Her voice softened. "He never left your side after the battle. Skipped lunch and dinner, too."
Sebastian's eyes widened as he stared at his son. Nozel's face turned crimson, his voice cracking as he stammered, "M-Mother, I-I did no such thing! Stop slandering me!"
He froze when he felt a warm hand on his head. Looking up, he saw Sebastian gently ruffling his hair, his expression soft and filled with pride.
"Thank you, Nozel. For everything."
Nozel stood frozen for a moment, then quickly shook off his father's hand, his gaze darting to the window where the dark night sky stretched out.
"It's getting late. You need to rest more, Father. Don't stay awake!" he snapped, before glaring briefly at Acier. "Good night to you as well, Mother!"
Nozel was just about to storm out of the room when a small, sweet voice made him freeze mid-step.
"Gooood ni-night, Bwubba!"
Every head turned toward Noelle, who was nestled in Sebastian's lap, happily waving at Nozel's retreating back.
Nozel stiffened, then turned sharply on his heel and marched back to Sebastian's bedside. He loomed over Noelle, pointing a finger at her with a glint of determination in his eyes.
"Say that again."
Noelle blinked up at him and giggled, waving again. "Ag-a Bwubba!"
"Again."
"Bwubba!"
"Again."
This time, Noelle tilted her tiny head in confusion, her round cheeks puffing slightly. "B-Bwubba?"
Without a word, Nozel took a deep breath and, under everyone's astonished gaze, scooped Noelle out of Sebastian's lap. Holding her securely, he cradled her close, one hand supporting her back as she nuzzled her face into his shoulder with a soft coo.
With his back now to his parents, Nozel spoke evenly. "Goodnight, Father. Mother."
Noelle waved at her parents from over Nozel's shoulder, her little voice chirping, "Nighty-night, Mama! Baboo!"
Sebastian and Acier blinked before giving her a warm wave in return, still processing the scene.
As Nozel exited the room with Noelle in tow, Dorothy broke the silence with a laugh. "Heh."
She skipped over to Sebastian, her hand darting out to flick him square on the forehead.
Twack!
"Ow!" Sebastian yelped, rubbing his forehead as he shot her a glare. Why is everyone hitting my forehead? Is there some invisible target here?!
Dorothy frowned at him, hands on her hips, her expression equal parts stern and playful. "Never scare us like that again, Old Man!"
I'm not an old man! Sebastian grumbled inwardly but relented with a nod. "Alright, alright, I get it."
Satisfied, Dorothy smiled before turning to Acier, giving her a cheerful wave. "Sleep well, Mom!"
Acier returned her daughter's smile with a fond one of her own. "You too, honey."
With that, Dorothy grinned and skipped out of the room, chasing after Nozel and Noelle.
Sebastian then turned his attention to the remaining children as Nebra approached him hesitantly. She fidgeted, her cheeks flushed as she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him in a shy hug.
Sebastian stiffened for a moment before gently returning the embrace. "Sleep tight, Nebra."
"You too, Dad," she murmured, her voice soft.
She pulled back and, after a brief pause, reached over to hug Acier. "Goodnight, Mother."
Acier pouted, refusing to let her go. "Nebra, that's not fair. Why is he 'Dad' and I'm just 'Mother'?"
Blushing even deeper, Nebra buried her face against Acier's chest and whispered, "Goodnight, Mom."
Acier beamed, tightening the hug. "Goodnight, Nebra."
With her cheeks still red, Nebra quickly escaped the hug and darted out of the room. That left only little Solid standing near the door.
The four-year-old clenched his tiny fists, puffed out his chest, and, after taking a deep breath, shouted with all his might, "Mom! Dad! Goodnight!"
Before either of them could respond, he bolted out of the room after his siblings, his face burning with embarrassment.
The room fell silent, now empty except for its two owners. Acier and Sebastian exchanged a glance, the air between them heavy with an awkward pause.
Sebastian cleared his throat, determined to break the silence.
"So, anything else of particular note happen while I was sleeping—"
His words died as Acier shifted, climbing onto his side of the bed and straddling him. She pushed him back against the headboard, her movements deliberate but not aggressive.
Sebastian flushed, his face burning crimson. "A-Acier, w-we talked about this—"
He stopped short when he caught her expression. There was no blushing, no teasing glint, no romantic warmth in her gaze. Instead, her eyes bore into his with a somber intensity, her brow furrowed.
The atmosphere shifted completely, the light-heartedness of a moment ago evaporating into something far heavier.
After a long moment, her pink lips parted. Her voice was soft but probing. "What's wrong, Sebby?"
Sebastian's brows shot up in surprise. Huh? He stiffened before quickly composing himself, forcing a thin smile.
"What are you talking about, Acier? Sure, my bones ache a bit, but nothing a little more rest won't fix—"
"Sebby." Acier cut him off, her tone unusually firm as she cupped his chin, forcing his eyes to meet hers.
"I'm not in the mood for games right now. Tell me what's wrong. What's bothering you?"
Sebastian studied her for a long moment, his jaw tightening. Finally, he sighed.
"Acier, we met when we were about 14, yeah?"
She nodded silently, her gaze unwavering.
"We got engaged and married at 16, had Nozel just after we turned 17, and… that's when everything started falling apart. Right?"
Her lips parted slightly, but no words came. Sebastian pressed on, his voice lowering.
"Or rather, that's when I started showing my 'true face'—an uncaring, manipulative bastard who seduced you to secure power and become Lord Silva."
Acier trembled, biting her lip. Her voice came hoarse and shaky. "I… I suppose. Where are you going with this?"
Sebastian hesitated, the weight of the conversation pressing down on him. Part of him wanted to drop it, bury the pain, and move forward. But deep down, some stubborn part of his soul—perhaps the original Sebastian—needed to know.
"What if I told you those times weren't fake? That they weren't a manipulative lie? That I always loved you, cherished you… just like I do today?"
Acier's pupils dilated, her breath hitching. Sebastian's stomach churned as he clenched his jaw, his teeth grinding audibly.
"What if someone told you that something… changed me? That something turned your Sebby into that uncaring monster? But deep down, I've always loved you. And our children."
Acier tilted her head back, staring at the ceiling as if searching for answers. When her gaze returned to him, tears were welling in her eyes. Sebastian reached up instinctively to wipe them away, but she caught his wrist, shaking her head.
Sometimes, you have to let others cry. Let them vent their pain, their deepest wounds.
Her trembling lips curved into a shaky, tearful smile. "I-in some ways… I'd be so… so happy to know that. To know I never lied to my family. To know you've always loved us."
Sebastian stayed silent, his throat tight as she continued, her tears falling freely now, staining both their faces.
"I'd also be s-so sad… so sad that you had to go through torture like that. That our family had to go through it too!"
Her hands cupped his face, her forehead pressing against his as she closed her eyes.
"I-I'd b-be so d-disappointed in myself," she whispered, her voice cracking. "Ashamed… that I ever doubted your love. That I ever doubted Father's words…"
Sebastian's eyes widened. Father's words? What does she mean by that?
His heart began to race, but he kept his thoughts bottled up. For now.
After a moment, Acier leaned back, breaking their forehead contact. Her dull glare pierced through Sebastian, raising the hair on the back of his neck. Tears continued to stream down her face, yet her expression was disturbingly calm—utterly unbothered, almost emotionless.
"I'd also be beyond furious. Livid with the bastard who dared to do something so cruel to you," she said, her voice ice-cold. "I want to find them. Tear them to shreds. Make them feel the most excruciating death imaginable. Destroy them in body and soul so thoroughly that even reincarnation isn't an option."
Sebastian's pupils dilated as Acier cupped his cheeks again, her grip firm.
"So tell me, Sebby," she continued, her tone dark and biting, "who dared to control you? To turn you into… whatever it was you became. And why is it Julius?"
Sebastian stiffened, his blood running cold. Acier's hate-filled expression flickered, morphing into one of bitter self-loathing.
"Or rather," she muttered, her voice shaking, "it's the same person controlling Julius now, isn't it? The one we can't touch. The one we can't challenge. Because if we do…"
Her words trailed off as her tears turned into a steady stream.
"…That's just a death sentence. Not just for us, but for our entire family and everything we love and cherish."
Sebastian froze, unable to speak as her voice cracked with despair.
"I'm not an idiot, okay? I know we can't do anything to him right now. I won't act brashly or put our family at risk. Julius is far stronger than either of us. And if he can control him—unknowingly at that—what chance do we have?!"
Her hands trembled, and her voice rose, thick with frustration. "It just sucks! Knowing he's so close, hovering around the kingdom, probably watching us. Probably watching this conversation right now. And the fact that we can't do anything about it…"
Her voice broke into a sob. "It makes me want to curl up into a ball and die!"
She buried her face in her hands. "Forget fighting. How do we even begin to stand up to an enemy we can't see? Someone we can't even get a read on? Tell me, Sebby!"
Sebastian's eyes welled up, and he whispered hoarsely, "I don't know."
Reaching up, he wiped her tear-streaked face. This time, she didn't pull away. Instead, she let him wrap her in his arms. Gently, he eased her onto her side of the bed, laying her down as he knelt beside her.
Sebastian brushed her silver hair away from her face and spoke softly, his voice barely above a whisper. "Treat it like a bad dream… a nightmare. We'll think about all of this after you've had time to rest."
Acier gulped, her chest heaving, and nodded faintly. Sebastian brushed his thumb over her lips before continuing, his expression heavy with emotion.
"Promise me something, Acier."
Her eyes narrowed slightly, focusing on him. "Depends on what you're asking."
Clicking his tongue, Sebastian hesitated before rephrasing. "Promise me… if I ever turn into that again, you'll give up on me. Force me away. From House Silva. From your lives."
Her answer was instant. She shook her head, resolute. "No."
"Acier!" Sebastian growled, frustration bleeding into his voice. "Think about the kids—"
His words were cut short as Acier's hand clamped over his jaw, her fingers digging in hard enough to make him wince.
Sweat trickled down his forehead as she glared at him with fury.
"Don't you dare use our children as leverage to justify something like that!" she hissed, her voice sharp and venomous.
Sebastian tried to nod, but Acier's iron grip kept him frozen in place.
"Mfhm-hmm." His attempts to speak came out as muffled sounds.
Acier's dark stare bore into him. "It's my turn to speak. You shut up and listen. Understand?"
It didn't matter what Sebastian thought because Acier shook his head up and down for him, forcing his compliance.
"You think I'm just thinking about myself? That I'm being a selfish bitch who's so hopelessly obsessed with you she can't let go?!"
Sebastian winced, guilt creeping into his thoughts. Well, I wouldn't have put it so crudely, or insensitively, but…
Her grip tightened, making his jaw ache and his eyes water. It was as if she'd read his mind.
"Maybe I am a bit selfish, Sebby," she admitted, her voice sharp. "But it's not just about that. Do you really think you can say something as outlandish as you just did and expect me to ignore it?!"
Her fingers dug into his skin, her anger palpable.
"Maybe if I hadn't known the reason—if I still thought you'd just decided to be an asshole again—I would've drawn the line. Maybe I'd have finally said I'd had enough. But now that I know the truth? I'll never let go."
Her voice rose with conviction.
"If you want me to kick you out, I won't. If you want to run away, I'll chain you to this bed like a dog! I'm not leaving you out there alone, to face whatever fate that sick bastard has arranged for you!"
Sebastian's breath hitched as Acier leaned closer, her tone dropping to a simmering fury.
"I don't know what he planned for you before, or what he's planning now, but I'd bet my life it has something to do with your influence and power as Lord Silva. Kicking you out—letting you go—means losing that power. And then what? What worth do you have to him? He'll tie up loose ends and do away with you!"
Her voice cracked slightly, but her determination held firm.
"Do you really expect me to sentence my husband to death? To ignore him and let him walk straight into it?!"
Sebastian's pupils dilated as she continued, her words relentless.
"And what of the children? If it were you from before, maybe they would've accepted it. But Nozel, Nebra, Solid, and Noelle—they love you now. They adore you. How do you think they'd react to losing you?"
Her voice softened, but the intensity of her words didn't waver.
"And Dorothy? You mean everything to that girl. Sure, she loves Nozel, but you're the one who brought her into this family. You gave her a family. Whatever vision of family she has in her heart, I guarantee you're at the center of it. Losing you would break her."
Tears welled in her eyes again, but her voice remained strong.
"You think telling you to leave would make anyone happy? That it would keep anyone safe? A father is the pillar of a family, Sebastian. Without you in our lives, in some shape or form, we will collapse."
Sebastian's throat tightened, and his heart ached as Acier finally released his jaw. Her hands slid up to cradle his face, her anger giving way to tenderness.
Her expression softened, gratitude and love replacing the fury. "It seems we took you for granted before. I rarely asked myself—or even let myself think—that you might have been struggling, too."
Her thumbs brushed his cheeks as her voice trembled with emotion.
"But now I know for certain. You were. And not only that, but at the same time, you were secretly looking out for us. Protecting us from the shadows, in your own way."
Sebastian trembled under her gaze, his voice shaking. "How can you say something like that? I don't remember doing anything like that at all."
Acier's lips twitched with the faintest smile as she pinched his cheeks, her touch firm but playful.
"You told me this man could make Julius do things unknowingly, right? So there must be gaps in his memory. And your situation seems… reversed. Julius seemed to be more in control of himself and rarely lost control. While you—"
Her voice softened, though her words carried a heavy weight.
"You were more like a puppet. Rarely regaining control of your own body."
She let her hands fall to rest on his shoulders, her gaze piercing.
"So maybe the things you remember aren't yours. Maybe the only memories you have are what that bastard forced your body to do, not the things you did yourself."
Sebastian averted his gaze, mumbling, "That's just a theory—a wild one at that. You have no evidence—"
"When Nozel was five, you saved him from that maid."
Sebastian's head snapped toward Acier, his brows furrowed deeply as she continued.
"If you hadn't acted, I would've been too late. I would have only arrived after his innocence was stolen." Her voice was steady, but the weight of her words hung in the air.
"You wouldn't have been able to react in time—wouldn't have even known—unless you were secretly watching over Nozel. Monitoring the people who had something against him."
Sebastian groaned, grabbing his forehead as a sharp headache pulsed through his skull. Acier's hands gently cupped his face, grounding him.
"You don't remember, do you, Sebby?" Her voice hitched, her breath catching as she swallowed hard.
"If you don't believe me, you can ask Alfred, Jeeves, Hilda, or even Nozel himself—"
"Why would I ever doubt you over something like this?!" Sebastian cut her off, his voice a mixture of anger and disbelief.
Acier flinched slightly but quickly regained her composure. A soft smile broke through her stern expression. "That's just the biggest one that comes to mind. But I think we're going to need to dive into those missing memories of yours somehow."
Sebastian shook his head immediately. "It's not worth the trouble—or the trauma. Who knows what we might uncover, or what kind of traps or restrictions he might have left behind."
Acier's grip on his face tightened, her frown deep and resolute. "It's absolutely worth it."
"Why?" Sebastian gritted through clenched teeth.
"Because until you face it, you'll never be able to forgive yourself—or truly live your life." Her voice was calm but firm, filled with an unwavering determination.
"You're always telling others to look to the future, to live in the present, but you're the one trapped. Stuck in your past more than anyone else."
Sebastian stiffened as Acier's hands slid to wrap gently around his neck, her touch neither threatening nor hesitant.
"You're constantly trying to atone for a past others have moved on from, digging up wounds we've already healed. You want everyone else to change and grow into better versions of themselves, but you're determined to stay frozen in time. You're afraid to move forward in our relationship—even though we both know you love me more than you dare to admit."
Her voice softened, carrying a vulnerability that made Sebastian's heart ache.
"It might be a lot coming from me, Sebby, but you need closure. And I need closure."
Sebastian leaned in closer, his brow furrowing. "What do you mean?"
Acier glanced around the room before sighing, her resolve cracking just enough to let her own vulnerability seep through.
"Last night, I had a dream. A very real dream. I remembered things—things I had either forgotten or confused for something else. I think I'm starting to piece together why I became so… infatuated with you. But I need to relive those memories to be sure."
She pulled him down until he was practically lying on top of her, their faces mere inches apart.
"So, Sebby…" Her voice was tinged with nervous anticipation. "Will you relive your memories—and mine—with me?"
Sebastian didn't respond immediately. He turned his head toward the window, his gaze distant as he stared at the crescent moon, obscured by drifting clouds.
When he finally looked back at her, he captured her lips in a quick, fleeting kiss.
Acier didn't blush, simply savoring the moment before he sat back up, his form towering over her.
A long silence passed before he sighed in defeat.
"Fine. But—"
"But?" Acier prompted, her curiosity piqued.
Sebastian furrowed his brows before shaking his head. "But I need to talk to someone first. Someone I've been avoiding. I need answers—and assurance that this is safe."
"Azazel?" Acier asked knowingly.
Sebastian nodded. "Azazel."
Though not particularly religious in his past life, Sebastian had always known of the fallen angel. It wasn't until now—thanks to Nacht's offhand comment before he traumatized the boy—that the significance of Azazel's name hit him.
How had he overlooked it when Draven introduced his devil and revealed Azazel's ability to access forbidden knowledge?
Sebastian's eyes narrowed, his fingers absentmindedly running through Acier's silver hair.
"There's no way that guy is a mere mid-rank."
Acier smiled knowingly, nodding in agreement. "I think so too."
Author's Notes:
[1] Nozel's birthday is December 30th, so the day after is December 31st, hence happy new years
[2] Switching between stories becomes painful and hinders the thought train, I'm going to focus on this main story, and wrap up volume 1, which will end with Dorothy's and Nozel's engagement before returning to the alternative story
[3] My next exam isn't till January 8th, and I'm not particularly worried about that one, so you shouldn't have to worry about the update schedule being interrupted unless of course life gets in the way. My parents are probably going to take advantage of me, and have me do all the chores and whatnot now
[4] In some way I'm actually grateful for the Hiatus, because before then this story was discovery writing, meaning taking it chapter by chapter, not planning out anything substantial beforehand, and going off a few stray ideas.
It worked well till Nacht's nightmare, but then the idea train seemed to derail and I started to have to bang my head, to force out some ideas, and decide where to go from there.
During the hiatus I was able to plan out and brainstorm the general direction for Volume [1], the start of Volume [2], and a possible overarching and overreaching story, that I'm not 100% committed to right now.
Whatever my point is, if you think the quality increased over the rest of the volume hip hip hooray, if not, well maybe I should just stick to discovery writing.
See you tomorrow!
Hey guys sorry if this chapter has bad grammar and flow, most decent gen AI editing tools are down right now, because I think OpenAI crashed, so I haven't really been able to edit this properly.
—
The sun had yet to rise over the Clover Kingdom to signal the next day, yet Sebastian was already out and about in the humid summer morning.
He couldn't sleep much through the night, waking up at an ungodly 4am, and knew he wouldn't be able to fall asleep. When he woke up early, he was the type to stay up.
Not to mention that he slept through the day after falling unconscious during his fight with Mereoleona and his talk with Acier kept him up, his mind buzzing with many things.
Things that scared him, because the more he thought about them, the more bewildered he grew at how he could've previously ignored such glaring contradictions, coincidences, and obvious facts.
He needed a change of pace, so he got out of his bed, careful to not wake up Acier, and took a stroll through the Silva estate, passing through the fields with a particular destination in mind.
House Silva's private cemetery.
Acier's words and grievances from their talk on the beach occupied his mind.
Although you have problems with my Grandfather for what happened to your parents, my Father had nothing to do with it. Is it so much to fucking ask to pay your father-in-law a visit during his death anniversary!
That day wasn't today, but it was safe to say, a visit was long overdue. Moreover…
I-I'd b-be so d-disappointed in myself… ashamed… that I ever doubted your love. That I ever doubted Father's words…
Her words from yesterday, further fueled his inner turmoil. Sebastian could've sworn that just like her grandfather, Acier's father hated his guts, even before he showed his "true" face.
And that in itself was a contradiction. How on earth could've Sebastian Silva secured Acier's hand in marriage, and become Lord Silva, if the two previous Lord Silva's detested his very being?
Perhaps, Acier could've insisted on marrying him, sure. But that doesn't automatically make him the next Lord Silva, Acier could've been disowned and abandoned by her house if she was adamant on going against her grandfather's and father's wishes and marrying the "detestable" man that he was.
That was typical noble and royal protocol, to deal with disobedient children.
Though of course that wouldn't have been a possibility because Acier was adored by her grandfather as his pride and joy.
And although her father was a pretty unreadable man, from Sebastian's memories he was quite positive that he shared that feeling.
And then after marrying the eldest daughter Sebastian would be a shoe in for the next Lord Silva, as Aurelia married out of the house, and no matter how much Acier's family despised him, they would have no choice but to pass down the title of Patriarch to him, lest they want to give the branch families watching them like hawks some fuel for their dark ambitions, and incentive to try to usurp power.
That is a logical conclusion.
But the issue is, how did a nobody like Sebastian Silva even get approval as a suitor for Acier Silva in the first place?
How was he even alive today?
It's not uncommon for royalty and nobility to "eliminate" pests that try to seduce or approach their daughters, and by that extension bare their fangs and show their greed to take their power and influence for themselves.
Even if Acier was the one to initially approach Sebastian, her father, and grandfather would have had ample ways to rid this world of Sebastian with their influence, and not leave any traces behind.
Of course Acier was no idiot, and likely would suspect him, but there were other suitors from high nobility and even that bastard Lux who were all trying to court Acier, and naturally to win her over they would "narrow down" the competition.
Someone with no background like Sebastian, no influence, no subordinates, should have been easy pickings. He should have long been rotting beneath the Earth as a skeletal corpse.
Yet he ended up as the victor? Perfectly safe and healthy, today.
That's not possible… unless someone was secretly "looking out" for him from the shadows.
And that's a problem, Sebastian Silva is many things but not an idiot. He would eventually realize he had some secret "guardian angel" of sorts, or some undercurrents scheming, plotting, and arranging to bring him and Acier together.
And the fact that the current Sebastian has no recollection of the sorts… well that makes him very tempted to believe that it wasn't only his memories after Lucius took control of his body that were fuzzy.
Some things from before that, core memories, and facts, have been twisted and now the more he looks back on them, he begins to see some blinding incongruities.
In plain speak, it makes zero sense. How some things happened, how some things unfolded and led to other events in his memory, there are gaps that make them borderline illogical.
Rather than the missing memories from after Nozel was born, to Sebastian what seemed more problematic was the build up from how he and Acier met, became acquainted, turned to lovers, got engaged, married, and all leading up to the day Nozel was born.
Sebastian had concluded that certain happenings and momentous events (atleast to him) in his memory had been overwritten and lightly tweaked, causing an almost unnoticeable change in personality in him, and his feelings to certain people.
"Crunch"
Sebastian's dress shoes stomped on the lush green grass, making an imprint and crunch on a stray fallen leaf, as he passed through an archway eternity into the cemetery.
Few graves were present and constructed, because although it was known as the Silva Cemetery, the only people with the honour of being buried here were those of the main family.
And even then only those who were members of the main family till death did them part. When Aurelia died she would not be buried here, and that went the same for any main family members who married out of the house.
Through his memory Sebastian rounded a corner and walked to an open area where 3 tombs were neatly lined in a row.
Each constructed on an ornate, and luxurious silver pedestal, where a silver white large cross with golden trimming sat atop them.
In his hand Sebastian carried 3 white lilies, and began to scan the names as he walked past.
On the very left, and nearest to him, was Acier's grandmother's grave, and on the gravestone, it read:
Acyer Silva, 1528 - 1583.
Sebastian stopped at her grave first, and narrowed his eyes at it. He had no impression of this lady, except from some stories and tales, afterall she passed away before he was even born.
All he knew was that his wife, his Acier, was a spitting image of her, and thus was named after her.
He would never know the truth to that, Acier's grandfather was obsessed with his wife, especially after her passing. All portraits and mementos of her, were hoarded by him, and buried with him.
Sebastian nodded inwardly, I seem to remember that made the man project his ideals and vision and love of his wife on her lookalike, Acier. To the vast majority it was heartwarming, but only a select few and Acier herself understood how so very toxic and stifling that love was.
Sebastian put the lily at the gravestone, and walked to the next one, Acier's grandfather's:
Niklaus Silva, 1526 - 1603.
Just looking at that name, caused a bad memory to resurface in Sebastian's mind.
It was shortly after rumors of Acier's pregnancy spread like wildfire throughout the noble realm, courtesy of her mother.
Sebastian had been essentially all but arrested by House Silva, and "escorted", into the old master, Niklaus' room.
It was night out, a rainy day, to add to the solemn and depressing atmosphere, essentially Sebastian was just calling it to have the sickly, old, withered, and thin man tear into him for "defiling" his granddaughter, and precious Amethyst.
And he just stood there and took it. What could he do, say technically he was the one that was defiled. Would anyone even believe that?
Perhaps his silence pissed the older man off more, as he grabbed his cane from the side of the bed, and brought it down on Sebastian's head.
Sebastian didn't dodge, he wasn't even in the mood, too distracted by the sudden turn of events, and honestly half listening to Niklaus' rants and fury.
He was half minded, and probably this event wouldn't even have been memory worthy if it wasn't for the physical pain that came at the very end.
Well that's how I used to remember it. Sebastian narrowed his eyes, last night, in his very brief sleep, he had a "new" recollection of said event.
Where, a certain someone stepped up, caught the cane, protected him, told Niklaus off, and walked out of the room with Sebastian in tow.
Sebastian clutched the two remaining lilies in his hand, before begrudgingly putting one down at Niklaus' gravestone.
No point in holding some grudge with a deadman.
Then with a complicated look in his eyes, Sebastian shifted to the right, and stood in front of the last gravestone.
Acier's Father:
Nathaniel Silva, 1547 - 1608.
A gruff, seemingly emotionless, slightly broad, and tall, short silver-haired man, wearing a perpetual thin line visage, sporting tired lines on his face.
Sebastian's feelings towards Nathaniel were distant, a practical stranger, their relationship more like a reluctant master and disciple, after Acier's and his swift engagement, to quickly groom and train him into the next patriarch, as his age was catching up to him, and didn't have much time left.
Thankfully Nathaniel was able to hold on till Sebastian turned 21, so he could lawfully inherit and take over as Lord Silva, irrespective of the ambitions of the branch families.
That was pretty much as far as their relationship took them… but now the image of Nathaniel catching that cane was at the front of his mind.
Father, there are many things that I can accept and look past you doing, but striking my daughter's lover, and future grandchild's father, is not one of them.
Shortly after they left the room, he seemed to see the image of Nathaniel patting his head awkwardly and scratching his cheek with an uncharacteristic nervous display.
Sebastian, this might be shameless coming from me, as in some shape or form, I was arguably complicit in the injustice, madness, and greed that drove your parents to take their own lives… but please think of us as your new family… and me as your Father.
Then that image changed to about nine months later, when Sebastian returned home and met up with his "family", on that "fateful" day, where everything changed.
Acier went frozen stiff at her "beloved", unexpectedly tearing into her, with hurtful words, dismissing their child like some commodity, and filling her sister and mother with feelings of horror.
Then Nathaniel rose from his seat to stand up for his daughter, but Sebastian had struck first. He clamped the elderly man from the shoulder and forced him down on the seat, and pinched his nose in disgust as he looked down at his father-in-law.
Old thing, where do you get off acting like my father, just hurry up and die already so I can take this place for myself.
Sebastian's words had made Nathaniel turn immobile in shock, thinking back at that vision now, caused Sebastian's stomach to churn but more than anything it was the brief look of hurt and loss that flashed in Nathaniel eyes was what jaunted Sebastian awake so early in the morning.
Sebastian crouched down on his legs, bent forward, and carefully placed the last remaining lily on the tombstone.
Staying crouched he lightly brushed the name on the silver plaque and spoke in a soft whisper.
"Father, I really hope that dream was just a dream, and the cold and distant you in my memories was the real you."
"I don't know what I would do, how I would feel, or even want to think about how I would react, if I found out, you cared for me, loved me, and…"
I-I'd b-be so d-disappointed in myself… ashamed… that I ever doubted your love. That I ever doubted Father's words…
"...and never lost faith in me."
After a moment Sebastian stood up, and gave the tomb one last look before crossing his arms, behind his back, and walked away, leaving just another sentence.
"I'll come visit you again in the future… with Acier."
—
Hey, hey, why are we walking, huh? Why not just fly?
Sebastian didn't deign to give a response to the inner voice that sounded identical to him, yet different somehow, as he continued on his path.
Sebastian didn't head back to the main estate, rather he began walking through the vast acres of Silva land, to the edge of the estate.
Castle Kira, Castle Vermillion, and Castle Silva, amalgamate to form Clover Castle. The royal castle is where the main family of each royal family lives, along with some few other privileged or prominent folks, like head servants, possible in-laws, or branch family members that have made great contributions.
The "backyard" of each castle, which could be considered realms onto themself with how extraordinarily large they are, each follow a common housing pattern.
Branch families (vassals) higher up in the hierarchy and closer to the main family, live closer to the main estate.
In Nathaniel's time, Amara's family was said to be the closest family to the main branch, and lived a mere 2 or so acres from the main estate.
Sebastian's family which was so far removed, a branch of a branch family, to the point of not even having the honor to use the Silva name, nor wear the floral fitchy, lived at the very edge of the Silva land.
When Sebastian grew older he understood that was a great source of insecurity and pain for his parents, driving them to "push" him to be better, and make contributions so they can become official Silvas, and move closer to the main family.
Sebastian didn't particularly care as a child, he just thought it was benevolent enough for the Silva's to even let no names like them live on their land. But his parents always wanted more. They were never satisfied with what they had.
This was a point amongst many that resulted in them doing certain things to Sebastian, and spiraling in a series of haste decisions that ultimately ended in a dual suicide.
Well tuple, if you count that one. That voice spoke up again.
An image from his tween years popped up in Sebastian's mind, down a wooden floorboard hallway across from his room, a fairly decent nursery unfolded, with an expensive newly bought crib, toys, and clothes.
A crib that never got a chance to be slept in, toys that were never played with, and clothes that were never worn.
All because of those two fools.
Influenced by the inner voice, Sebastian grimaced in boiling frustration and complex lament, as another scene popped in his mind.
He was 13 then, he came home late from his private studying at the royal library, only to find the lights on and no one around.
He knew his parents were home, because his father's coat was laid out on the lobby hanger, and he never left home without it.
As for his mother, she never went anywhere without his father. Especially as she was pregnant back then.
He walked around the house calling his parents, but got no response in return, only to walk upstairs, and find his parent's door closed shut, but light trickling under beneath the gap from a flickering candle.
He knocked and banged on the door, but got no response, causing him to fill with worry. Shortly after he decided to force himself into the room, and worry about the impending consequences or "scolding" later.
That would never come, because one's parents have to be alive to "discipline" their child.
A father hanging lifelessly from the room ceiling with a rope by his throat, and a mother lying lifelessly on the bed under him, with drool, seeping from her mouth, and some strange remnants of some sort of drug in her hand, were incapable of such a thing.
Rather than outright sorrow or trauma, Sebastian had looked at his mother's rather large hump and lamented.
Couldn't you have chosen the same method as Father? At least that way this child could've been saved.
Sebastian had grown quite distant from his parents in the few years prior, a few tears of sorrow sprung from nostalgic feelings of a deceivingly happy and content childhood, was all they got, as he dug a hole and buried them beneath a nearby oak tree.
Many people misunderstood Sebastian, yes he hated Niklaus and at the time the entire main branch too for what happened, but after that accident he equally despised his parents.
It's just that he couldn't vent any of that rage on dead people, so Niklaus became the sole target for him to detest.
Sebastian wasn't seeking vengeance, nor "justice", for his parents, but his unborn sibling.
How dare they! What do they think life is?! That child's life was not yours to take! Because of them, she never even got a chance to live!
Sebastian went frozen stiff, stopping in his step as he rubbed his head in annoyance, suppressing this inner voice that has been growing louder since his dreams.
"Can you shut up?" Sebastian whispered to himself, after a moment the echo in his head ceased and he resumed his walk, ignoring the branch members that were looking at him, and waving off any who dared to try and approach him.
Sebastian didn't even know who or what he was talking to. Did that dream of his cause the consciousness and balance between his soul and the original Sebastian to tip more in the latter's favor?
Was this a sign of some preliminary awakening from the original?
Was those just his inner feelings and emotions, manifesting into some subconscious inner persona, of who he originally and truly was?
Was he hallucinating?
Sebastian felt like his mind was overcrowded all of a sudden, and shook himself back into focus as he sped up.
Anyways you couldn't particularly blame others for misunderstanding, Sebastian hadn't particularly confided that to anyone.
His parents weren't well known, no one showed up to their practical non-existent funeral concessions, which was just burning a bit of incense on their bodies, before he all but tossed them into those pits.
Yes her parents were nobodies, and his unborn sister, even more so. In nobility few have the privilege to foster genuine affection for their relatives, much less grow attached to a fetus that never entered the world.
Few would ever consider the possibility that Sebastian was out for blood, much less for the sake of a stillborn lump of flesh.
It wasn't like he was running around the kingdom as a boy, yelling "I'm going to kill you, Niklaus! Double time even, because I can't kill my dead parents. All for my unborn baby sister."
That'd be a good way to guarantee an early death, one doesn't simply state their intent for regicide to the masses.
Niklaus nor House Silva would've even needed to move a finger, many vassal houses and underlings looking to curry favor with them would've competed to bury Sebastian 6 feet under.
Sebastian's dislike for Niklaus was a safely guarded secret back then, after all how dare a nobody like him, dare harbor any insidious intentions or fury for a former patriarch.
Only Acier was likely aware of the true depths of his hatred, but it wouldn't matter, Niklaus died of natural causes, shortly before Nozel was born. Sebastian never got his "vengeance".
But even if he had the chance he likely wouldn't have taken it, Sebastian narrowed his eyes, piercing through those fuzzy fog of memories, at that time Niklaus was the furthest thing on my mind.
As Sebastian neared the edge of the estate, a wooden cabin, not quite small enough to qualify as a tiny home, in modern society came into view from afar.
It sat uphill, surrounded by a square logged fence, near a forest clearing, which led into a downstream river.
As Sebastian approached the cabin above he saw the ghostly reminiscent image of a fairly tall bricklayer house, that would make even some low nobility envious.
His childhood house.
As Sebastian matured he understood that his parents were particularly lavish people, buying things they didn't have the capital or funds to afford, like dresses, jewellery, and even that house, all to appear as elite to satisfy their insecurities.
Naturally this was all done through loans from various banks, ending up in generational debt, from interest and such.
After his parents offed themselves, those loan sharks came for him, so what could he do? Well sell his house, and practically all of their belongings to eliminate most of that debt.
The only thing he never gave up was a few of his personal belongings, like his journal, some clothes, tools, and the land itself.
The house was taken away courtesy of House Legolant's recombination magic, so he could keep the land.
And thus started his practical street rat days, where he lived a disgraced and "humiliating" life, of living in a makeshift tent, saving up to buy some wood, and building a rocky and flawed shack, and overtime amending it and extending it to form a relatively cozy cabin.
With Acier's help of course.
Back in the day, when this was built Sebastian would dare say it would appear luxurious on its exterior from modern day standards.
Giving a kind of lake front cottage feeling to it. Of course by Clover Kingdom nobility standards, who were into large Victorian structures and whatnot, they would never be caught near a destitute place like this.
And as of right now, it does look destitute. No one had entered, occupied, or cared for this place in nearly 17 years.
The wooden fence and the outside cabin walls were rotting, the glass windows seemed sort of fractured and greasy, moss and platlife grew everywhere, and the door seemed busted open.
Perhaps some critters frequented this place during the harsh winters, the Silva Estate barrier only reacted to and kept out magical beings, manaless lifeforms couldn't be repulsed, as they couldn't be registered.
At least with the House Silva barrier. The barrier guarding the entire noble realm was several tiers higher, and was capable of such a thing.
As Sebastian stepped on the creaky porch, he sighed regretfully. "Such a waste of a good place."
Sebastian didn't get to live in this place long, because shortly after it was built he was dragged into the main estate, due to Acier's pregnancy incident.
We were considering turning this place into a vacation home for our family, in the future.
Sebastian grimaced and clutched his head in pain again, hissing in frustration. "If you have something to say, say it all at once! Stop popping up at random moments, it's bothersome!"
A moment passed, and he got no response.
With a resigned and exasperated sigh, Sebastian went back to studying the cabin from outside, taking in the soggy indented wood, the cracked and flimsy planks under his feet, the brittle handrails, and the holes everywhere.
Perhaps after Lucius got to him, his body's tasks and only concerns had to do with the main estate, so this place ended up forgotten and ignored.
But… Sebastian narrowed his eyes, the fact that this was my property should've made it a priority among House Silva servants to clean and maintain, lookafter, guard, and manage. Even if not having received the express order to do so.
Yet it appears like a typical abandoned shack from some horror movie. The only possible reason would be if I or Acier ordered for it to be left untouched.
I'll ask Alfred afterwards
Without wasting another second Sebastian pinched his nose, to mask the spell, and stepped through the doorway, and boy he wished he hadn't.
"Ack hack hack!"
Sebastian waved his hand, and coughed heavily into his fist as he was greeted by a cloud of dust and grime.
And that wasn't all.
The odor of several rodents or such critters that had likely died here, breeded here, and stained the surroundings with their feces and urines assaulted him from each pore.
"Aughh-eww!!!"
Sebastian felt yesterday's breakfast wanting to spill out from his insides, as the nausea hit him.
He immediately coated himself in mana skin, to block out the bulk of the unpleasant feeling and had his grimoire floating out to produce some light, to examine the true extent of the "damage".
Looking around the room he cringed, as he saw a bunch of cobwebs, spiders, flies, mosquitoes, cockroaches, dead carcasses, and whatnot, littering the area.
One again Sebastian Silva, wished he was a fire mage.
He didn't hesitate to send out blasts of water that turned into bubbles and spheres of various sizes that covered and surrounded all these undesirables, shooting them out far away from the cabin and into the forest.
Water washed through the floorboards and walls carrying away fresh grime, dust, and stains that he didn't want to decipher origins of.
As for the dry ones that already melded and merged with the wood, Sebastian would just have to tolerate it for now.
Sebastian was very tempted to just get what he came for, and do the world a favor and blast this place to smithereens but perhaps nostalgia was acting up, and made him hesitant.
After all this was the place he and Acier built through hard work and grit, going through many ups and downs, and experimental processes, as neither really knew what they were doing.
Sebastian will definitely demolish this place one day, hopefully soon, but it was only fair for Acier to join him, and maybe if she's up to it build a new one.
A bigger one, that could actually fit their current family.
Sebastian shook his head, and walked through the one level cabin, continuously blasting away any creepy crawlies, carcasses, and other yucky things that got in his way.
He spared a glance at the bedroom from outside the doorway, not stepping in, as he took in the approximately double size bed, built into the corner wall.
He traced the bedsheets and rotting frame, and cringed in disgust from just imagining how many bed bugs made that mattress home right now.
That's where we made Nozel-
"I know!" Sebastian cutoff his inner voice and mysterious companion that may or may not be the original him, or some strange imaginary friend.
She came onto us-
"I said, I know!" Damnit if you're going to speak, share something important, enough with this useless crap!
Again the voice went silent.
Sebastian felt he was about to break down, and develop some identity disorder. If this voice was a separate entity, then could he at least tell him, something he didn't know.
At least then it would be tolerable and unacceptable. As it could help him get some answers, but so far it has done no such thing, rather it seemed adamant to remind him of things he's already privy to.
Like just now, which he really didn't need. Sebastian has relieved and reflected on his and Acier's first time, for countless hours. Every movement, exchange, and moment was both imprinted into his brain and traumatically ingrained in his muscle memory.
He needed nor wanted any more reminders.
Giving the "place of passion", one last fleeting glance, Sebastian hurried down the very short hall into the "study" area.
Which was just a decently wide desk, with the wall littered with book cases. Sebastian clicked his tongue looking at the torn, tattered, and worn, "troves of literature", that would drive any passionate librarian devastated.
He ignored that and repeated his "cleaning" process with the room, and walked behind the desk.
A thread of water shot out of his finger tip, and wrapped around the bottom drawer handle, and with a gentle pull, Sebastian yanked the drawer open.
He saw several pieces of paper, a ripped quill pen, an inkpad, what appeared to be a compass of sorts, and some wooden shavings inside.
Balls of water lifted those items up, before he placed them on the desk. Looking down at the empty drawer, Sebastian inwardly crossed his fingers, and gritted his teeth.
Please be here!
Water mana shot out, and wrapped around the bottom of the drawer, and it slowly began to rise up, unobstructed, that was because it was nothing more than a false bottom!
Sebastian stilled and after a moment he sighed in relief, as he saw what was inside, and still there his childhood journal, essentially his diary.
It was bright red, or atleast used to be, as now it was more of a brownish hue, but other than the worn cover, and bent cover, it seemed intact.
Sebastian's life was detailed in this journal from when he was about 5 up to the day Acier came and told him she was pregnant.
Which was the day before he was taken away. Sebastian wanted to review all his logs from the day he met Acier to that day, and compare it with his memory, searching for inconsistencies, and contradictions.
Lucius can mess with my mind, but that doesn't mean he can mess with concrete and physical evidence right, after all writing doesn't have a soul he can manipulate.
Sebastian smiled and snatched up the diary, and high tailed it out of the stinky cabin, he didn't walk back to the main estate, immediately, rather he took to the sky, on his water eagle materializing under his feet, as the sun rose over the Clover Kingdom.
As he rose to the stratosphere, the eagle spread its wings, and began to soar and glide slowly over the horizon, nearly still midair, as Sebastian sat down cross legged and opened the diary, like a fourth grader during book study.
He didn't even take a look at a page before something fell out. It was shaped like a rectangular slip.
A book mark? Sebastian raised a brow, as he picked it up and frowned as he picked up the slip and stilled at what he saw and felt.
Rather than bookmark, Sebastian would have called it a card, based on the familiar texture and feel, as well as length.
A male silhouette, trimmed and outlined in gold, on a black background surface that seemed oddly shaped like him, was smiling and holding out what appeared to be half a heart, from his right hand, in the center of the card.
At the top of the card was the capital letter I, and on the bottom was the letters E, R, and S. The card was evidently incomplete and missing its other half.
Sebastian gave it a twirl in his hand and frowned, what is this? Why would I own something so useless?
Sebastian thought about tossing it up, and letting the wind take it away, but strangely he felt a sort of indescribable connection and nostalgic affection for the card.
But still, was the original Sebastian an idiot, using something so short and flimsy as a bookmark?
It could easily fall out and lose one's page.
It's not a bookmark.
Sebastian froze as for the first time in the very short time he has had the displeasure of knowing this new inner voice of his, it finally told him something that he didn't know.
"What do you mean?" Sebastian asked unhurriedly, as he kept up a facade of composure.
I'm your inner voice, you can't hide your thoughts from me, you don't need to pretend.
Sebastian stiffened, and had his cheeks burn red, ever since transmigrating he's been used to adopting an utterly unphased appearance, indifferent to anyone and anything.
It became routine and second nature, force of habit, that he rarely registers anymore.
Sebastian coughed awkwardly, but then frowned, "I can't hide from you, but you can hide from me?"
The voice spoke up again, this time with a bit of frustration of its own.
I'm not hiding from you, you're suppressing me!
Sebastian frowned a bit more heavily this time, and spoke with scepticism laced in his voice.
"Alright buddy, if I was capable of doing something, I'd completely shut you away, for buzzing around in my head. But even then, why should I even trust a word or thought that comes out of your mouth, or mind I guess. For all I know you're some secret restriction Lucius left behind to mess with me."
Without wasting the moment, the inner voice replied.
That's good, pessimists live the longest, but if you want evidence I really can't give you anything to make you trust me.
For all you know I'm that Lucius guy disguising my voice as yours, you won't really get any clear answers till you and Acier dive into our memories.
That Lucius guy? Sebastian narrowed his eyes, and shook his head. "Sometimes it's you, other times it's our, sometimes you use I or me, other times it's we and us, make up your mind. Are you and I one and the same or two different people?"
The voice went eerily silent, but that didn't startle Sebastian as he waited calmly, and after a moment it spoke up again.
Pour a little mana into the bookmark and don't let go.
"Avoiding my question, huh?" Sebastian snorted derisively, before smiling as he clutched the card tightly.
"Fine, I'll bite."
Sebastian put the diary down on the eagle's back in front of him, and held the card up in between his fingers by the base as he began to channel mana into it.
Sebastian watched as the card began to light up aqua blue, and then it began to shake, it began to twist and struggle to escape from his grasp, but it was pointless, even if Sebastian let go, he already tied nearly invisible strands of water mana to the card, it wouldn't get far.
Sebastian furrowed his brow, as he felt some inexplicable calling from far away, right to the main estate.
"What do I do now?"
Just wait.
—
Acier's eyes snapped open as she abruptly sat upwards on her bed, swiftly escaping her groggy slumber as she felt an invisible calling, one she hadn't felt for years.
Wiping the sleep from her eyes, Acier leaned over to the side table, and pulled out the top drawer, she maneuvered through the neatly ordered drawer and pulled out a gray pouch.
She opened the pouch and with a smile, began to pull out some items.
First came an essentially plain brass ring, with the words BFF, ingrained on the top.
Acier smiled fondly at the ring as she seemed to hear a familiar voice, but years younger, speak into her ear.
This is proof of our friendship.
She gave the ring a kiss at the top, before setting it down on her lap, before pulling out another… ring.
This one seemed a bit more complex and expensive, consisting of a silver material, curved and shaped into a heart at the top, and filling the heart seemed to be a cut, amethyst jewel.
Smiling, Acier heard the voice, speaking into her mind once more.
This is the best I can do for you right now, this is a promise. A promise I won't back down, or shy away from these feelings of mine anymore, and a vow that I'm going to better myself, and become someone worthy of pursuing you as a suitor!
Acier also gave this ring a smooch, laying it in her lap before reaching into her little pouch and low and behold pulling out another ring.
This one was far more exquisite, intricately cut, and molded, laced with little sparkling gems around the ring, with a large ornate diamond on top.
It evidently cost a fortune, and would make many gush, and eyes sparkle, but Acier looked at it with a frown.
And that frown deepened as she looked down at her left hand, and twisted the plain gold ring she wore on her left finger.
These were her engagement and wedding rings.
Acier's mouth parted softly, "You didn't give me either of these two rings, society did, and perhaps because of that, I don't treasure either of them as much."
She chewed on her lips before smiling softly, "but I treasure the time that I got them with you. I was going through a very tough time, and you were the one that pulled me out of that darkness, and for that I still love them."
She brought her engagement ring to her lips and gave it a kiss before repeating it with her wedding ring.
Acier placed the engagement ring, in her lap, before pulling out the last item.
A plastic card, where a female silhouette appeared to be holding out half a heart in her left hand, at the center of the card.
At the top of the card, was the letter V, and at the bottom were the letters, L, O, and V.
Acier held the card, like it was the most precious thing to her, and gave it a kiss.
"And this is the sign of our love, a love, I'll never question again."
She channeled her mana lightly into the card and it began to surround itself in a pinkish hue, and Acier let go.
Instead of falling to the ground the card floated midair, and then it shot like a speeding bullet through the window, causing the curtains to riffle.
Acier smiled as it faded from view, as she could feel it darting towards its target.
After a moment she hopped off her bed, wearing her nightgown, in a chipper mood.
Typically she would be a bit disgruntled about being woken up so early, forget two days in a row, but she was in a very good mood today.
Acier slipped into her bed slippers, and walked across the room, rummaging through her walk-in closet, looking at different clothes before stopping in front of the mirror and checking herself out.
She put her hands on her hips and smiled.
"Maybe I should leave my hair down, loose, and untied. Sebby always loved that."
—
Seated on the water eagle high up in the sky, Sebastian's eyes shot up, as the familiar connection started growing rapidly closer and greater in a span of a few seconds.
He squinted his eyes and saw a projectile heading straight for him, normally he'd dodge, but he strangely felt at ease, as it neared him, and was unphased at it stopped right in front of him.
"The other half, huh?"
Taking a moment to study the card, Sebastian felt his wife's familiar and unmistakable mana coating it and smiled.
Sebastian instinctively let go of the card in his hand, as the two halves flew around each other, swirling like a vortex, before coming together.
A tiny beacon of white light momentarily blinded Sebastian, causing him to avert his gaze, after taking a second to collect himself, he looked back and paused.
Instead of two halves, there was now one single card.
On the left end was a woman's silhouette holding her left arm out, and on the right end was a male silhouette holding his right arm out.
The two arm's linked, and floating above it was a heart.
At the very top was the roman numeral VI, and at the bottom was the capitalised word, LOVERS.
Do you know what that is?
The inner voice asked Sebastian indifferently, as the latter nodded.
"A tarot card, number 6 of the major arcana, The Lovers."
The inner voice didn't deny or approve his answer, as it moved on to its next question.
Do you know where it comes from?
Sebastian's brows furrowed, before he shook his head.
The voice went silent, for a moment, before it spoke again.
Don't worry, all will be made clear very soon.
Sebastian showed no reaction to that, before pausing as in front of him, the card began to spin, counter clockwise.
Sebastian opened his mouth in questioning but the inner voice struck first.
It's giving you your divination, upright essentially means your love is looking up and you're in sync with your lover, while reversed or upside down is the opposite.
Sebastian's mouth closed as he saw the card continue to spin rapidly, before gradually slowing down, and then stopping. Perfectly upright, pointing to the sky.
A silent moment passed, as Sebastian's heart started to race. Over these past few days and very recent events, Sebastian hadn't doubted Acier's feelings for him, for a moment.
She couldn't have been more clear, but having some sort of external verification wasn't the worst feeling in the world.
But Sebastian had a suspicion that this wasn't about him, so he opened his mouth. "Are you satisfied now?"
Yes.
The inner voice replied, before continuing, its response growing a bit hoarse and emotional.
She still loves u-you.
Sebastian narrowed his eyes as he detected the mixed emotions in them, joy… and resignation. Perhaps a bit of bittersweet hurt.
Sebastian spoke aloud again, almost to himself. "She still loves me, but I may no longer be me."
The voice didn't respond.
Sebastian sighed, picked up the diary and opened it once again. Instead of reading from the start he flipped to the end and what he saw made his heart sink.
Signs of paper being ripped out was evident, that last entry intact from before that was the day he wanted to start with, but that was the only day he got.
August 3rd 1600:
Today Princess Acier approached me for some reason. I don't know what I did to attract her attention. Her motives aren't immediately discernible, has the main family sent her to snuff out my intentions? Have they discovered my hatred for that one?
Unlikely, Princess Acier is the pride and joy of House Silva, no one will risk her life, nor send her to deal with an invalid like me.
I need to consider how to act in the future, should she continue to approach me. I also need to take time to reevaluate what previous actions of mine could have led to this unexpected meeting.
Further inquiry and study will be required.
Sebastian - Signing off for the day.
Sebastian's eyebrow twitched, this sounds more like a military report. All he needed to do was add in starfleet and captain's logue, and Star Trek might sue for copyright.
Sebastian sighed, as he would never know what came after that.
"Well this is Lucius right, he wouldn't have left, such a glaring and obvious counter to his plans available. Maybe he had my body rip out and discard those pages, unbeknownst to me."
Maybe we did it ourselves.
The inner voice caused Sebastian to pause and narrow his eyes, opening his mouth after a second, and conceding.
"Maybe." Sebastian didn't deny the guess, but as for why he would do such a thing, he would never know until he confronted those memories.
Sebastian was just about to put down the diary in defeat and fly back to the castle, but the voice spoke up first.
Flip to October 1st, 1598, and read the next four entries.
Sebastian didn't even bother questioning it, and did as he was told, as he flipped, backwards, scanning the dates with his eyes, before stopping.
October 1st 1598:
It appears Father and Mother had finally had it with my incompetence and uselessness, today they declared my mother was pregnant.
They didn't outright disown me but the words: "you don't have to push yourself anymore Seb, we know all people aren't born equal, this child will take the load from your shoulders, and attain glory for our family in the future."
Can be interpreted as such after driving me till I hurled from my stomach and bled from my hands, despite evidently not being an attack mage.
On the plus side this supposed abuse should practically be over, on the downside I fear for that child if it can't meet expectations.
Decisions and further pondering must be made.
Sebastian - Signing off for the day.
Sebastian flipped the page to the next entry.
January 15th 1599:
Well this is not good, though not 100% supported. I have heard word of pregnant women craving sweets being a sign of a girl's birth.
And that's all Mother cares to eat these days. Through some roundabout probing I verified that during her pregnancy for me, all she devoured was spicy foods.
It is rare for a girl to become an heir despite ability and strength, and I won't delude myself with pinning my parents to be progressive or accepting people.
Who knows what extremes they will go to, should they discover they are bringing a girl into this world, instead of a boy, especially with their current unsteady mental state.
I must make a decision soon.
Sebastian - Signing off for the day.
Once again, Sebastian flipped to the next entry. He raised a brow as he read it, as he could sense emotion in this entry, and a foreboding feeling that caused his stomach churned.
March 6th, 1599
Today I arrived at the royal library with a decision made. After that girl's birth, should my parents love and care for her, like they once did me, all will be good.
Should not I will take her, and raise her as my own, elsewhere away from all things Silva.
Today I even perused texts looking at good names, and I believe I found a spectacular one.
Aurora, it symbolizes the dawn of a new day. A new chapter in one's lives, in our lives, in the future it will be me Sebastian, and little Aurora against the world.
I must quickly secure a job, and start amassing funds. I also need to learn and research how to raise a child.
Sebastian - Signing off for the day!
Sebastian's stomach churned, as he forced himself to read the next entry.
March 7th, 1599
Unforgivable! All of them are absolutely unforgivable! My parents, the Silva's, that damn Niklaus, what do you take life for?!
Whatever problems, whatever issues, whatever stress or upsets you're going through, leave it between you two!
What did that child have to do with any of this?! When you're pregnant your life is no longer just your own, but also that child's, you should be doing everything in your power to pull through and protect that child's life, not proactively ending your own!
Is having a daughter truly such a sin?! Such a disappointment?! Women can be strong, women can be leaders, a girl can lead and empower a lowly branch family like ours!
I will settle my scores with the old lord in the future, but first I need to know just how on earth they discerned that child's gender!
Sebastian - Signing off for the day!
Sebastian closed the book and sighed, those memories of that damnable day rose up from within, and he had to suppress his urges to tear something apart.
Pulling and ruffling his hair to vent some tension he bit his lip and opened his mouth.
"What is it that you want to tell me?"
The inner voice responded, almost gently.
That name, does it mean anything to you? Remind you of anything?
Sebastian, raised a brow. "Aurora?"
Yes, Aurora.
Sebastian frowned and shook his head, "No can't say anything comes to mind-"
Sebastian cut himself off, and darted his eyes back to the name on the paper. He was imprinting it in his mind, and trying to compare it to another among many obvious coincidences that he's overlooked.
He read and reread it to make sure, before raising his head to the sky, his eyes began to water and he spat out almost hoarsely.
"Aurora is my sister's name, from Earth."
Sebastian could almost feel the inner and physically non existent voice, nodding its proverbial head in his mind.
Yes, it is.
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