Kapitel 4: 4. No offense

"Hey, give me something strong, but affordable and cheap at the same time. I just lost all I have to my useless family and cheating husband, so I can't afford to pay for something expensive, but I still want something strong, do you understand me?" I'm not even drunk and I'm already ranting, it's no wonder the bartender is looking at me with those weird eyes.

"Well, what are you waiting for?! Give me something, or are you also looking down on me? Are you looking down on me like the rest of them!" I shouldn't be doing this, why am I taking out my frustration on someone who has nothing to do with me? Is he the cause of my problems? Is he the one who stole everything I worked hard for? Why am I taking out my frustration on him?

Why? When I couldn't even say a word to those who are actually behind my misery. "You're so pathetic, Champagne." I say to myself as the bartender finally slips me a glass of something colorless and cold just like my life.

"If it's too strong, you can add a little water." The bartender says, as he passes me another glass filled with water.

I can't even tell the difference between the two. The drink he gave me looks just like the water. "Do you want something sweet, like a fruit to go with that?" He asks. "It might not go down well alone since you are not a regular drinker."

I stare at him with suspicious eyes. "How do you know I'm not a regular drinker?" I ask.

"Let's just say we bartenders have a knack for things like this. I can just tell." He shrugs as he wipes a glass clean with a napkin in his hand.

I let out a deep sigh. Seriously, Champagne, he's such a nice person. "You're right, I don't drink. I hate drinking. I hate the taste of alcohol. Oh, no offense to you,"

"No offense taken."

"You know, cause you're a bartender and I said I hate alcohol."

"I am really not offended."

"I mean it sounded like I was saying I hated your job. I don't hate your job."

"I understand."

"I just want it to be clear that It's the alcohol I don't like. Not you. I like you."

"Oh,"

"No, I don't like you. I mean I don't mean I hate you or anything, I'm just trying to say. I hate the alcohol and I don't hate you. You seem like a really nice person so, I don't hate or like you and now with the way you're staring at me I can tell I am blabbing out rubbish at this point." God help me, I haven't had a drop of alcohol and I've already lost my mind. So much so that I am spewing rubbish to a stranger.

"I think you should have some water, it will help calm you down." He says with a straight face. A straight good looking face, now that I look at it. He turns around to place a bottle of wine back on the shelf behind him and I sigh.

"Yeah, you're right." I pick up the glass of water and gulp it all down. But only after the bitterness and burn hits my tongue and throat do I realize that it was the alcohol I had taken and not water.

"Tsk mmmmhh." I scream with my lips tightly pressed together. "That burns!" I say and he turns around and stares at me with his eyes wide open… they are gray… his eyes.

"Did you down the whole thing at once?!" he asks and I nod, "How are you?" he asks. And it seems those three words were what I've been waiting for all day.

Almost as though subconsciously, I've been waiting for someone, anyone at all to ask me that simple question. And as that question is asked, I can't hold back the tears, it's as though the question gives way for all the emotions to flow out of me.

Anger, pain, fear, jealousy, hate, disgust, disappointment, and then anger again. I feel it all, and I can't hold back the tears nor the loud sobs that follow.

To be honest, I have no idea when and how, but at some point, the alcohol I downed has taken total control of my emotions and I know I will regret all of this when I am sober in the morning, but for tonight. Just for tonight…

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