Kapitel 48: Do You Want To Be A Hero? (29) | Not A Hero?
"W-what...?"
Katsuki was baffled upon hearing his reasoning. Her wide eyes stared into his downcast gaze, trying to comprehend the meaning behind his words.
Her confusion morphed into a storm of emotions—an odd blend of disbelief, frustration, and a lingering sadness she couldn't quite put into words.
"You... you don't see yourself as a hero...?" she echoed, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Yeah," Izuku replied, his voice steady... but heavy, like the weight of something he'd carried for far too long. "Not anymore... not in the way you or anyone else does..."
"W-what are you talking about, Izuku...?" Katsuki's frustration mingled with the worry that gnawed at her.
Izuku's shoulders slumped, the resistance in him fading. He didn't want to go deeper into it... not when it slightly pained his own heart to admit.
But when he saw her expression...
Katsuki wasn't just confused, frustrated, or livid at him...
Worry.
There was an evident worry there, too. A rare sliver of concern in the Katsuki he knew today.
"Please... tell me why, Izuku..."
That expression—it was one she'd shown him when he left Musutafu City as a kid...
No, it wasn't just that. It was an expression he remembered vividly... and dreadfully.
A memory he had nearly buried deep in the back of his mind—a moment he had tried to forget.
It was the same expression she'd shown him once before... back when he was at his lowest, when he had lashed out at her in his darkest moment.
Seeing it again now... struck a painful chord within him.
Something within him shifted. Maybe it was that look... maybe it was finally feeling understood.
Whatever it was... he found himself opening up.
"A long time ago..." Izuku began, his words trembling as he tried to hold them together, "... when the news of my late father's passing... and the realization of my quirklessness came to light, I was... devastated."
Katsuki tensed. She remembered all too well the chaos that had surrounded him back then, but hearing it from him directly felt even heavier.
"I cursed my own weakness... even though I knew I was just a kid. It wasn't my fault I was born quirkless... that was just how fate played out for me."
Katsuki remained silent, the worry in her eyes deepening. She tried to grasp just how much he'd gone through, and her heart clenched.
"I tried to cope, but nothing really helped. I was never... truly relieved from the pain," he continued, his voice unsteady. "Every day, the frustration grew worse. I almost fell into complete despair... and I even lashed out at my best friend..."
"Izuku..." she murmured, knowing full well and still remembering the last moment of their childhood... the painful rejection she received before she ran away from him...
On the other hand, Izuku himself took a deep breath before continuing... as he felt the pain that was still there even after all these years.
"At some point... I started to accept that reality, telling myself maybe... that's just how my life would be. I'd never be a hero, and I would just live a normal life like everyone else."
His voice trailed off, and Katsuki felt a creeping dread. Something about the way he paused felt like a warning... like there was more he was about to reveal.
"But then... I stumbled upon an 'answer.' A revelation."
"R-revelation...?" she repeated, the tension winding even tighter as his gaze hardened.
"That's right..." Izuku's expression darkened, as if remembering that pivotal moment when everything changed. "I realized... that if I couldn't be a hero without a quirk..."
"...Izuku...?"
"... Then why not create one?"
"Create one...!?" Katsuki's eyes widened, her voice trembling as the gravity of his words sank in. "... W-was that the power you used to defeat the sludge villain...?!"
"Yeah..." he admitted, an almost apologetic smile forming. "I created... no, I INVENTED my power, Katsuki."
"...!"
A shiver ran down her spine. There was something about the way he said it... a darkness that felt almost tangible.
"I began studying... everything," he said, his voice intensifying. "Science, technology, mysticism, superstitions, rumors—ALL of it. I was desperate... just for a sliver of a chance that I could gain the power to protect those around me... and become the hero I'd always dreamed of being."
"I-Izuku...?" Katsuki whispered, feeling the desperation he must have endured.
"And finally... I did," he continued, his eyes reflecting both triumph and dread. "I discovered the answer—the power I invented... the power to protect those precious to me...!"
His expression intensified as the memory of his discovery surfaced—at first, a glimmer of triumph, but it quickly darkened, like a shadow creeping over him...!
"But things got... hazy after that. I was so thrilled at the idea of getting stronger... that I became consumed with the pursuit of more...!"
Katsuki listened in silence, her heart racing. His words painted a frightening picture, a path that seemed darker than she had imagined.
"At first, I convinced myself that more power would make me a better hero—a better protector...! BUT! The more I gained... the blurrier my purpose became. The line between wanting to be a hero... and craving more power... it vanished."
"I-Izuku...?" Katsuki's voice trembled, sensing something was deeply wrong.
But he didn't seem to hear her. His own voice grew somber, a dreadful calm settling over him.
"More knowledge, more strength, more skill... more POWER...! I became obsessed. And in that endless pursuit... I forgot why I even started this whole thing... I gained more and more power, and until one day—"
Then all of a sudden... he fell silent. The darkness that had surrounded him lifted, as if he'd willed it away. Katsuki let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding.
"I-Izuku...?"
But there was something she couldn't shake... the feeling that he'd stopped himself from saying something crucial. Something he wasn't ready to admit.
Finally, he spoke again.
"... Eventually... I finally woke up..."
"Woke up...?"
"Yeah..." He confirmed, a melancholic smile forming. "I realized... that I had been chasing power for power's sake. I lost sight of what being a hero really meant... Instead of protecting others... I was obsessed with how strong I could become—how much knowledge I could hoard..."
Katsuki didn't interrupt, but her grip on her emotions visibly tightened, as if she were bracing herself for something painful.
"All this time, I thought I was preparing myself to be a hero like All Might," Izuku continued, a far-off sadness clouding his eyes. "But when I look back... I see someone more fitting to be a scientist... A mad scientist, even. Someone who only cares about pushing the limits of power and knowledge rather than actually using that power to save people..."
He let out a bitter laugh, his shoulders slumping further.
"I thought becoming the strongest would mean I could save everyone. But it wasn't... it wasn't about saving anyone. It was about satisfying my own obsession... and that's why... I'm not a hero."
He paused, his voice soft but heavy with regret. "I'll never be a hero like All Might... or even someone like you, who I truly believe could become the great hero this world needs..."
Silence fell between them, heavy and suffocating.
Katsuki lowered her gaze, her bangs casting shadows over her expression. Her body trembled slightly, as if she were battling an intense surge of emotions.
Izuku looked back toward his childhood friend, confused and also worried, his voice softening.
"Katsuki...?"
But then... she moved.
Her head snapped up, and in a swift motion, she tightened the collar of his gakuran once more, pulling him toward her.
"K-Katsuki?!"
Her grip was fierce, a tremor of rage in her fingers. Katsuki's face twisted with anger—no, something more complex, something deeper that bordered on heartbreak.
"Deku, you idiot!" she shouted, her voice cracking under the weight of emotions she could no longer hold back. Her eyes blazed, a fire that refused to be extinguished!
"Then why did you save me back then, huh?! If you weren't a hero, why did you risk your life to save mine?!"
~~~~~
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Author Note:
The cheese is still on-going~
I hope you're ready for more cheesy soap opera highschool(?) drama.
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