JJK: The God of Fire

LV 4

Thecentipede

Shameless author review! This is my first time writing anything so please bear with me. If you have any constructive criticism then please drop it here. Thanks for reading.

LV 5

Obligation

The story started off to abruptly, you just said, ''He reincarnated got flame powers, trained and became strong'' that was all you said about the mc before you got on with the story. You didn't really intruduce the mc neither to us, the reader, or the maincast as they met up. Gojo, Megumi, Nobara, Yuiji; there wasn't any intruduction dialog at all. They just met up and gone to the haunted house. You even added an OC when there wasn't any true interaction between the characters you already intruduced. I don't know if this is a pet peeve of mine or not but I don't like it when authors write their story as if the readers know the setting. Yes , I know this is fanfic but a good fanfic should be readable even without any knowledge of the OG story. All in all, I really liked the premise of your story, you can write with almost no grammar errors and you can write it good. But the world building, character design, story development... They weren't really good.