Kapitel 189: The Closet on Stage Left
Ranko sat on the edge of the Phoenix stage, looking out at the seven members of her band at the two tables closest to it. Behind them, Yui and Mei continued their pre-opening prep work at the twin bar counters. In that moment, she'd have gladly chosen slicing lemons and stacking glasses over facing down the reality that haunted her now.
"Guys, I've made a decision," Ranko said, intently playing with her promise ring to keep from making eye contact. "Looking at the plans for the Sneak video, I just realized, I can't do this. Not like they want me to, and so I really don't have a choice. Tomorrow, I'm going to talk to Yuji and the label people, and I'm gonna tell them the truth about me and Akane. I thought you guys deserved to know first."
Crash sat up in his seat, a mien of concern painting his face. "Are you sure that's the best idea, Ran-chan?"
Ranko shrugged. "Not at all. But I don't know what else I can do. I… I have my reasons, but I can't just act like that with some random guy. And… I mean, the whole point of Sneak was that I didn't want to hide anymore. I'm gonna marry Akane, and I don't want to have to keep pretending like that's a thing that's not gonna happen."
Ken sipped at the bottle of beer in his hand. "And what does Akane say about this?"
Shaking her head, Ranko sighed. "I haven't talked to her about it yet. That'll be tonight after the show. But she'll back me. She always does." That's one of the reasons I won't betray her like this.
With a groan, Shinji tossed a half-eaten onion ring back into the little plastic basket in front of him. "And, in what fantasy land is this going to solve your problem?"
Crash shook his head, opening his beer and tossing the bottle cap onto the table dejectedly. "Dude, take it easy."
Shin stood, walking around the round table and approaching Ranko. "No, seriously, tell me. What do you think is going to happen? You're going to go the suits, profess your undying love for a girl, and then, what? They're gonna decide that you don't have to make a video for the hottest track on our album? They're going to tell you that you can shoot it with a girl instead? I'm sure that'll be fine."
Crash stood, slamming his beer to the table. "Shin! Really?! Why do you gotta be such an asshole sometimes?"
"You just don't get it, do you, Crash? This is our careers here. All of us. Everything we've worked for, dreamed for, all this time. This album is our one shot to do something that's gonna put us all on the map. And we're seriously considering throwing it away because Miss Priss here can't keep who she's fucking to herself for fifteen damned minutes?"
Jake groaned, rubbing his temples. "Really, Shin?"
The bassist turned back to the stage. "This is a job, Ranko. There's gonna be parts of it you don't like. It's the career you chose. You brought us all along with you, and now we're in this together. And if that means you've gotta spend a half a day pretending to be interested in an actor, well, guess what? He's an actor. That's his job, and right now, it's yours, too. When you go home, hey, you wanna have your girlfriend cram half the broom closet between your legs, that's your business, but out here in the real world, you're gonna need to take one for the team."
Emi turned to look at her roommate, a disgusted look on her face.
Shinji heard footsteps approaching behind him, turning as Mei approached from the service bar. "Hey, babe, just a minute. We're in the middle of someth…"
His sentence abruptly ended when Mei's palm smashed into his cheek. "How fucking dare you speak to her that way? After everything she's been through for you all?! I thought you were her friend!"
Ranko cringed. Oh, Mei. Please don't. I don't want this to cost you and Shin your relationship…
Shinji glared down at his girlfriend. "Whatever. I'm out of here, man. You guys figure it out, and let me know what you decide. You and Miss Teenage Angst 1991 have a great time." He grabbed his backpack, stalking his way toward the front door of the bar.
With a sigh, Ranko put her hand on Mei's forearm gently. "You didn't have to do that, sis. I can handle him."
Mei whirled to face Ranko. "He can handle himself. He shouldn't be talking to any woman like that, but especially not my sister, and especially not his friend." She gave Ranko a quick hug before stalking back to the service bar to resume her prep work.
Scratching his head, Crash looked back to the door. "I'd better go see if I can catch him."
Ken stood, walking over and leaning on the edge of the stage next to Ranko. "Hey. You okay?"
The redhead slid her back down the edge of the stage until her backside was on the floor. "Not really, no. I don't know what to do anymore, Ken."
"So, I know you don't want to hear this, but…" Ken sighed. His eyes were clouded with guilt and sadness. "How much attention do you pay to the crowd when you're on stage?"
"A lot. I try to engage them as much as I can." Ranko looked up at him from her seat on the floor. What a weird thing to ask. You're sitting right there when I do it, dude.
"Sure. And what have you noticed about the audience when you sing Sneak, or Not Yours, Don't Touch?" The black-haired boy sat next to the band's vocalist on the floor.
The redhead shook her head. "They go crazy at all the sexy parts. I get it. What's your point?"
"Yeah, but…" Ken put his hand on her shoulder, giving it a little squeeze. "... who tends to go the craziest?"
"Well, the guys, of course." Ranko looked up at him with a mystified expression. Seriously, what are you playing at, Ken?
"Sure. The sexiness of a song like Sneak, and bluntly, of a girl like you, is going to attract a lot of attention and excitement. But what happens if that dies? What happens if, all of a sudden, all those guys knew you were off the market because you're into girls, or even just that you're engaged? The fantasy dies. We both know you're never going to be with any of those guys, and they know it deep down, too. But, the fantasy is what sells, and so, to keep the engine running, you need to keep up the illusion. Shin's being a total douche, but he's not wrong, Ranko."
The vocalist looked down at her engagement ring. I was supposed to be able to tell the truth. I was supposed to just get to live. "So, if I want the band to succeed…"
Ken nodded. "You've gotta sell it. To everybody. I know it's hard, and I know it's not fair, but it's reality."
"I just…" Ranko sighed heavily. "I'm so tired of hiding who I am. I'm only here in the first place because I was tired of being ashamed of myself, and now it feels like it's never gonna end."
The drummer clapped his hand on her shoulder. "Believe me, I know."
She rolled her eyes. "Please. You're heir to some accounting empire, and you get to sit in the dark at the back of the stage and not have anyone staring at you. What's so hard about that? Besides, you've always been an introvert. What do you have to hide?"
Ken chuckled, shaking his head and draining the last of his beer into his mouth to buy himself a second to decide how to answer. "Ask my boyfriend."
Ranko's head snapped up to meet his eyes. "What?! Ken, you're… how come you never told us? We're your friends, dude! You know we'd have your back!"
Nodding with a heavy sigh, Ken lay back on the stage next to his band's vocalist. "Like I said. Sometimes, you gotta sell it."
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