Kapitel 87: 7. Kylie.
They entered the bustling kitchen, filled with the aromatic scent of Salvatore's cooking. The clinking of utensils and the sound of chewing filled the air as they observed a lack of Mimi, who had clearly indulged in her own meal. Damon knew this would change once he gained control over her and administered a stronger sedative. Perhaps, with her sedated, they could take a leisurely stroll around the island, a calming flank walk.
Damon checked Mimi's well-stocked shelf, filled with smoothies, but his taste test elicited a curse. Miss had made her own concoction, diluting the nutritional value with juice. However, the presence of the Salvatores in the kitchen would soon rectify this. Damon telepathically informed them, and two of them promptly headed towards the kitchen after their meal.
It was evident that these diluted smoothies would have provided Mimi with only 40% of the necessary vitamins and trace elements. She was unaware that the Salvatores had crafted concentrated minerals from their fangs. Her lack of knowledge led her to believe that making and consuming these smoothies was a simple task.
After Mariella and Damon finished eating, he explained the issue with the smoothies and their nutritional deficiency. It could be an opportunity to bring her to the medical bay for bloodwork and intravenous treatment to stabilize her levels.
Together, they devised a plan. First, Mariella would attempt to coax Mimi into revealing her methods of controlling her alpha power and the source of her knowledge. Then, Damon would work on sedating her and fixing her flank organ to restore its proper function. They desired to harness the alpha power correctly and gain their own power in the process.
Mimi lived in a concealed room, accessible through a secret corridor. Damon assigned Adam and Charles to swiftly locate these hidden passages.
Mariella expressed to Damon, "If you listen to me throughout, we'll see how this unfolds. But I'm willing to venture into the lion's den and observe the outcome."
Damon fell into a contemplative silence, his thoughts hanging in the air like a thick fog. After a moment, he spoke, his voice low and measured, "Now, if the lady has been toying with those smoothies for weeks, her vitamin levels may have plummeted, possibly necessitating an IV. But then again, that would also create an opportunity to drug her. However, before I can determine my course of action, I need to assess her capabilities."
Mariella nodded in understanding, her footsteps echoing softly as she made her way towards the bedroom. The search for it proved time-consuming, as other Salvatores were already busily exploring the hidden corridors and rooms. Irritation welled within her at the presence of these secret passages and opulent chambers, now exposed for all to see.
In her mind, Damon conveyed his thoughts to her, remarking that Mimi had once again created a sanctuary for herself. The scent of her smugness permeated the air, as she reveled in her role as the pack's savior. Mariella couldn't help but feel a mix of annoyance and bitterness at Mimi's self-assuredness.
I had indulged in movies, savored moments of rest, and satisfied my hunger with a meal before finding myself in a state of pure contentment. The satisfaction of completing my job overwhelmed me, and I couldn't help but feel an intense sense of pride.
Now, it was my turn to unwind, rejuvenate my body, and plan my next move. Perhaps unloading would be necessary at some point, but the details of when, how, and with whom were still unknown. I had found solace in my hidden chambers, confident that no one would stumble upon me anytime soon.
It was a perfect sanctuary. Luxurious and adorned with the finest materials, my room offered the ultimate comfort. The centerpiece, a massaging water gel bed, provided sheer perfection and catered to my every need. It was exactly what I craved, my personal haven.
Unexpectedly, the door swung open, startling me. Mariella entered and made her way towards the bed, gracefully settling down beside me. She reclined on the bed, and as she did, it responded by massaging her body and adjusting to her presence.
Letting out a sigh, she began speaking, "Finding this room wasn't a simple task, but the pack is slowly exploring this castle, uncovering its hidden secrets."
The rhythmic hum of the massaging bed accompanied her words. "You know, Mimi, you saved us all. We were filled with pent-up energy, and in that moment, we needed release. It's a shame no one bothered to explore the treasures you provided. those dentals would be so useful for me to know and moreover for Damon to know too. They could have been invaluable in the future."
She mused aloud, and I sensed there was more to her visit than mere curiosity about my possessions and my dental substances. I remained silent, my gaze fixed on her, waiting for her to reveal her true purpose.
The television had been turned off, enveloping the room in silence before she spoke again. "But, I can't help but wonder, how do you possess such mastery over your alpha power? You perform miracles with it. I'll admit, I've been lazy. When I attempted to wield it during my seven years, it felt foreign and unfamiliar. Could you at least give me a few pointers so I can ruffle Salvatore's feathers a bit?"
I stared intently at Mariella, studying her expression and trying to decipher her motives. Her sudden interest in my alpha power intrigued me, and I couldn't help but wonder what was driving her curiosity.
With a sigh in my mind, I responded, my voice tinged with a hint of weariness. "You see, Mariella, the way you experience alpha power differs from me. I am a true alpha, encompassing not just the energy being and witch aspects, but also the alpha female, alpha chaos, and alpha vampire. For me, using alpha power is as natural as breathing."
I emphasized my point, locking eyes with her as I continued, "Damon may tap into my alpha female power, but he has no access to my alpha shifter/chaos power or my alpha vampire power. Those powers live solely within me, as I am an alpha in those domains as well. I have read some books that might be of use to you if you're interested. They serve as guides for the alpha female, shedding light on how to harness and wield this power."
Mariella's frown deepened, clearly surprised by my response. She scrutinized me, her gaze sharp and probing. Her understanding of alpha female books appeared to be outdated and old-fashioned, leaving her bewildered by my words.
I shifted my gaze towards the wall, maintaining a steady tone as I pressed on, "These alpha female books differ from the ones you previously encountered. They don't focus on constantly defying the alpha male, but rather on utilizing this power for the betterment of the pack and embracing our instincts. It's about things that may not immediately come to mind, but these books provide guidance, teaching us how to navigate our roles."
I paused for a moment, gathering my thoughts before continuing. It was time to address the underlying tensions and bring everything out into the open.
I was tired of the secrecy and unspoken truths that lingered among us. "However, I can't help but wonder why you're so interested. There must be another reason driving you to pursue this job. Perhaps it has something to do with Damon, or the pack, or even controlling me. Well, let's lay it all out. I know Damon knows that my flank organ is empty. It's unnecessary. I refuse to be controlled constantly. This is about me, not just my alpha side. I've learned to take care of myself."
I tried to keep my voice even, not allowing even a hint of bitterness to seep in. I was tired of the constant fear and control exerted by my pack, who should have felt like family but often resembled prison guards.
I explained, my weariness clear, "The best thing for me is to maintain control on my own. That's why I manage my hormones and suppress them, avoiding breeding and heat. So why did I act the way I did? It's because I differ from the pack. I'm a part of it, yet I don't truly belong. I'm always the outsider. You know it, and so does the entire pack."
Although I grew tired of repeating myself, I couldn't help it. I could utter the same words over and over, hoping that someday they would understand. They lived in a world of hopeful illusions, believing that things would magically work out. Life, however, isn't that simple?
She looked at me as I struggled to convey my point. "And it's much easier for everyone else, for the entire pack, when I remove myself from the equation. I'm not claiming that this is the perfect life or pack. Far from it. But given the circumstances, I'm now ready to unpack. I don't know yet with whom or when, but I can feel the unraveling beginning. So, who will dare to be with me and share the burden? Because I am incredibly strong."
I got out of bed and said, "Just a moment. I'll give you a few books."
I teleported to Moldova, retrieved a couple of rare alpha female books from my collection, and teleported back. I handed the books to Mariella, who perused them for a moment.
She asked, "Where did you find these? I mean, these are incredibly rare books?"
I replied, "I have connections. Over seven years, I have assisted in many packs, and they are always willing to share knowledge with those who seek to learn. And you wouldn't believe the number of alpha women I've encountered. They came to me from far and wide; some were even in hiding, and we would engage in deep conversations."
Those women, my mentors, remained vividly etched in my memory.
My voice took on an almost educational tone as I spoke, the words flowing with increasing speed as I launched into a little rant. "You wouldn't believe the wealth of information I gained from talking to a panther shifter who has been an alpha female for over 600 years. She wanted to share her knowledge with other females and let me tell you, it was enlightening. Some of this knowledge is passed down through generations, not written, and I've learned so much from it. But I can't reveal it to you because you're not an alpha female. Even the older males knew some of these things. It was truly remarkable to witness an alpha couple that had been together for 700 years."
Memories flooded back of those women and our chat groups, the camaraderie, and the lessons I received. Eternity seemed like an incredibly long time, so I absorbed as much as I could. I never knew if I would someday need that knowledge.
Glancing at Mariella, I allowed my expression to soften, a hint of longing creeping into my voice as I shared a bit more. "I know I will never have that same experience. No matter how strong my relationship with Damon is, you are his soul mate, his partner. Not me. But I'm not bitter, even though I have witnessed something I can never have. I accept myself as a truly unique being, knowing that nothing will ever fully work in me or for me with others. I've had to put the contents of those books into practice, harnessing my rage and willpower to help cultivate my alpha power."
My voice still held a tinge of longing, acknowledging that I had seen something unattainable, even if I had desired it at some point.
I explained this to Mariella, the soft sound of my voice blending with the distant chirping of birds. The sun cast a warm glow on the room, illuminating the earnestness in her eyes.
"That's why no matter how much Damon pulls it, it does nothing," I said, my hand gesturing in frustration.
The scent of coffee lingered in the air, mixing with the faint aroma of books. "It's an alpha power, but it doesn't obey Damon. And my alpha power grows pretty fast every time the Lord has taken his share of it. It's like he takes something, but he has no idea how to use it. Not really, and my power. It does not belong to him. Maybe in a perfect world, but not with me."
Mariella's brows furrowed as she pondered my words, her fingers tapping lightly on the table.
"So alpha power can be taught, can it?" she asked, her voice filled with curiosity.
The sound of her voice was soft, blending with the rustling of pages as she flipped through a book.
"Is that what you said? That Damon should teach and train his alpha power? But then, how could you two combine your alpha power? So that it becomes the alpha power of the pack."
The room fell silent for a moment, the only sound being the steady rhythm of our breaths.
"I know it requires sex," Mariella continued, her voice tinged with uncertainty.
"And you may not be ready for that with Damon. And Damon may not be ready to have you, either. But it looks like he needs to learn his alpha power first. And those other types of power."
The air felt charged with anticipation, a subtle electricity that danced across my skin. "Damon is a strong vampire, but what is Alpha Vampire or Alpha Chaos?"
Mariella's voice held a hint of excitement, blending with the distant chirps of birds in the distance. "I'll see if I can teach mine after I read these books. I'll tell the wolves these tips, too."
A gentle breeze wafted through the open window, carrying the scent of blooming flowers. Mariella's words hung in the air, lingering like a delicate fragrance.
"So, who will you tell the information these females told you if not me or the wolves?" she asked, her voice filled with curiosity.
"What is there that I can't or shouldn't know? Where are you going to find more alpha females? The real alpha female."
Her words held a sense of urgency, blending with the distant sounds of birdsong. "If not from the pack, is there potential in our pups, or do you have a network of perhaps shifters?"
The room felt charged with anticipation, a subtle tension that settled in the air.
"And you know Damon will take that as a challenge," Mariella said, her voice filled with a mix of concern and intrigue.
The sound of her voice was comforting, like a soft melody playing in the background. "And you can be sure that the strongest telepath in our pack, the one who knows you best even if you might not want to, will be in your head even deeper, looking for that information."
A shiver ran down my spine, a mix of both excitement and apprehension.
"Because Damon is curious, he wants to know what you've been told. What do you know? What he should know, because that's what you told me, that those males know the things those females told you." Mariella's words were filled with determination, blending with the distant sounds of nature that flooded through the open window.
"He's your male anyway, whatever kind of couple you are," Mariella said, her voice filled with a mix of understanding and reassurance.
The room felt warm and safe, like a comforting embrace. "You can't help it. It's good that you want to vent. There's plenty of help around here. And we got you under control, little bitch."
I looked at Mariella, a smile playing on my lips as I chuckled softly in my head.
I'm sure Damon was in my head like a persistent little terrier, nipping at my thoughts. But he wouldn't pry that information from me. The memory of those couples, their beauty and undeniable bond, sent shivers down my spine.
It was a connection that both fascinated and terrified me. As their relationship strengthened, so did their alpha power, creating a profound connection that didn't require chakras. Just a simple touch was enough, but it was a vulnerability I couldn't afford. I couldn't surrender myself so completely to another person. Yet, deep down, I knew Mariella and Damon would eventually reach that level of closeness.
Turning to Mariella, I asked, my voice tinged with envy, "Were you aware of the depth of those couples' connection? It's something I'll never experience, nor do I desire it. For me, it would be a weakness. But for you and Damon, someday, it's possible. You'll be the couple that everyone looks up to in this pack, and I truly don't mind."
I paused for a bit, before continuing my explanation. " I can't help but seek weaknesses, avoiding them as my instinct dictates. It's not just my programming anymore; it's what life has taught me through countless trials. I need to rely on myself. I've learned that anything can happen, and if I were to ever develop such a profound connection with someone, only to have it ripped away, my mind would shatter into pieces."
I knew what I was talking about and so did she. She was quiet as I pondered on. "It's different for you, Mariella. You've had a good, sheltered life as a beloved wife and mother. You've never experienced months confined in a medical institution, or the constant fear of being caught and the weight of saving lives. Can I save everyone?"
I paused, considering how to articulate my thoughts without sounding too harsh.
My voice, a gentle whisper now, caressed the surrounding air. The room was bathed in a soft glow from the dimly lit lights as preferred dimness over brightness and in my nests, lighting was usually very soft. Small lights in the walls gave enough light to cast dancing shadows on the walls. The scent of strawberry, my scent lingered, adding a touch of tranquility to the atmosphere.
"In a way, you're still a princess," I murmured, my words barely audible.
"And that's no bad thing. Be our princess when I can't be." My fingertips brushed against the velvet cushion, its smoothness comforting to the touch.
"I'm a flea, and I'm a Mimi," I continued, my voice tinged with vulnerability.
The weight of unspoken emotions hung heavy in the air, a silent longing for release. But fate, it seemed, had other plans. It denied me the luxury of feeling whole.
I pondered the cruel irony, my eyes gazing into the distance. "What if I'm in a mood where I want to feel fully, and fate throws me a coup de grâce?"
The uncertainty gnawed at my soul, a constant companion in the face of an unpredictable world. A shiver ran down my spine at the thought of losing control over my emotions. Another crisis, another test of resilience. Would Damon, ever the enigmatic figure, cast me out of the pack, emotions laid bare for all to see? The fear of vulnerability coursed through my veins.
"I can't. I can't show all my feelings all the time," I confessed, my voice barely a whisper.
The struggle to navigate the complex labyrinth of emotions was a constant battle, an ongoing quest to find equilibrium. I yearned for someone in this pack, someone who would understand my side of the story, my hidden depths.
The weight of responsibility settled on my shoulders, a burden I carried with stoic determination.
"Because if there's a European mission, world-saving," I mused, my voice tinged with a hint of resignation. "Then you have to be focused. You can't be emotional in fight clubs."
The clash of metal against metal reverberated in my mind, a symphony of discipline and control.
The thought of solitary missions, of saving the world alone, sent a chill down my spine. Uncertainty clouded my vision, eroding the foundation of trust.
"When I can't see the future, I can't trust it," I admitted, my voice betraying a hint of vulnerability.
The need for self-mastery, for restraint, became paramount.
"I have to control myself, control my emotions," I affirmed, the words spoken with quiet determination.
The struggle to keep my weaknesses in check, to be strong in the face of adversity, weighed heavily on my heart. It was a lonely existence, one that often left me feeling isolated and detached.
"But I'm not always aloof or even cold," I confessed, my voice laced with a touch of melancholy.
My voice was quiet but clear, "The mask of detachment, a facade carefully constructed, shielded my true self from prying eyes. It was my pretender side, the master of deception, that enabled this charade. "
Mariella's piercing gaze bore into me, her eyes locked on mine for what felt like an eternity. A heavy sigh escaped her lips before she finally spoke, the words laden with a tinge of desperation.
"I believe Damon could benefit from that pretender part as well," she said. "Imagine if he could merge it with his telepathy, creating a formidable lie detector. It could unite the pack instead of dividing us, giving you the chance to retreat into your shell and pretend, rather than facing the truth."
A bitter snort escaped me as I responded, my voice dripping with cynicism. "And who do you think the lord would use this ability on? Certainly not me, thank you. It would only turn one of my strengths into a weakness, something I'm desperately trying to avoid. I already have enough vulnerabilities; I don't need to seek out more for myself."
Mariella's gaze softened, a glimmer of unwavering faith in her eyes.
"Damon will protect you from anything. You can afford to be weak," she insisted. "That's why you have such a strong alpha male and husband. Let him do his job and shield you."
A wave of frustration washed over me as I realized how deeply this person was still entranced by Damon's influence.
I met Mariella's gaze, my voice laced with resignation. "Do you remember what happened last time? I needed support, someone to share the burden. Perhaps even a powerful telepath to ease the weight of my experiences. But no, Charles Adam took precedence. They were whisked away to an Irish castle, while I remained unloaded and unheard. Yet, Damon seemed more concerned with unloading them than unloading me."
My tone grew almost bored as if I had grown weary of explaining myself. "I've learned that I am never Damon's priority. You are, not me. Yes, he will protect me when the situation allows for it. But if we were ever attacked in a store or any public place, it would be you who receives his protection. Not me. I must always be prepared to defend myself and save the entire pack at a moment's notice. Now, if I were to give Damon my pretender power, he would undoubtedly twist it into a means of constant lie detection. He would use it on me without hesitation, without remorse. And what would that do to our relationship if I could instantly see that he doesn't trust a single word I say? It would only further deteriorate our bond."
Surprised, Mariella looked at me, her eyes filled with realization as if she had never considered this perspective before.
I uttered wearily, the room dimly lit by fairy lights, their soft glow casting dancing shadows on the walls. The sound of a clock ticking in the background echoed through the silence, a reminder of the passing time. The musty scent of old books filled the air, mingling with the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. I paused, the weight of the years pressing upon my shoulders, unsure of the exact duration since Mariella entered our lives.
"You trust and believe in Damon incredibly much," I began, my voice tinged with exhaustion.
"And I understand that. But sometimes, I wish you could see things from my perspective. What have Damon and I truly been to each other? What defines our current relationship? How deep is his trust in me? And how much do you trust me?"
A sense of unease settled in the room, an unspoken tension hanging in the air.
I continued, my words cautious yet honest. "I can sense the subtle interrogation, the hidden doubts. So, I try my best to be open, to let you glimpse into my thoughts and feelings. But it's not always easy for me to articulate these reflections on my own. And when I do, it appears Damon cannot bear to hear them."
I paused, the weight of my emotions palpable. "Yet this is my reality. Damon's protection. It comes and goes. It's conditional, dependent on circumstances. And if he ever has to make a choice between me and the pack, he will always choose the pack. Even if it means favoring another pack member over me. Damon sees me as incredibly strong, aware of the experiences I've endured, the strength I possess. In that regard, he trusts me."
The room fell into a heavy silence, my words hanging in the air, begging for understanding and acceptance.
Mariella furrowed her brow, the creases on her forehead deepening as she meticulously reviewed all the conversations we had. The truth resonated in her ears, confirming that I wasn't deceiving her, yet she longed for a different outcome. She would eventually come to terms with the reality of our pack and her place within it.
Studying me intently, Mariella spoke, her voice tinged with a mix of resignation and determination, "So you've already decided about all this? You don't give us a chance to prove that things can change. But you're right about many things; we need to consider these matters as well. However, I'll dive into these books. You can continue with your films, and then we'll assess where we stand. Oh, by the way, Damon noticed your smoothies and wasn't pleased. There might be a blood test in the near future."
A smile played on my lips as I replied, "Let's see if I can maintain my values within the acceptable range, so there won't be any complications."
Mariella rose from the bed, clutching a stack of books, and announced, "Oh, and I've locked the lab, so you won't be able to take any blood tests without opening it. If you're concerned about your levels, that is. And the portal room is off-limits too. Damon wants all of us to stay on this island and within this enchanting castle."
I refused to let these restrictions bother me; instead, I would indulge in movies and savor the freedom to dine out whenever I pleased. And when the time was right, I would release all my burdens, unloading every bit. That is, of course, if I could find someone willing to assist me.
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein