Kapitel 152: First Events Conclude

The worst pain yet rocked me. By now, I was bad off enough that the very dissonance of hurting so much yet my body being completely fine made things even worse. I felt like my soul was able to crumble. In desperation, I did the one thing I hoped might stave the apparition off a little longer.

"That's not…true," I barely got out, "it was never…about punishing myself. I was so miserable and angry after they cut me off from you—at myself, at them, at everything—I was in a tailspin of depression, I couldn't think straight. Getting into a PVE to spite the world that tore us from one another and to say goodbye to it forever, it was the only thought, the only reason to live I could hold on to.