Kapitel 1890: 120
Chapter 120Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
"Given it any thought lately? The big choice, I mean," Qrow murmured as he sat there with Cinder, the two of them sitting in one of the private study rooms dotted around campus- one of the harder to reach rooms, with bean bag chairs instead of cramped desks. He looked over at his adopted daughter, frowning as he idly scratched at his chest and wished idly that he hadn't gone sober years ago. He really, really wished that Cinder would say that she needed more time, or just reject it outright. That she wouldn't be drawn into the same kind of life that he'd gotten suckered into. That she could have the chance to live the normal life of a Huntress instead of being… being just another pawn in the game.
"I… it's a lot to think about, Dad," Cinder sighed, slumping in her bean bag chair and sitting there bonelessly as she stared up at the ceiling, her Aura rippling around her in an oppressive haze of heat that roiled and bubbled with like molten glass. "I mean… I know I promised I'd think about it but… gods… Where do I even start? There's… I don't know what to do. How could I even think about taking someone else's Aura and life like that? How could I even possibly think of stealing someone's soul just to keep their powers out of the hands of some nebulous enemy that I've never had to face before? It's insane. I don't know if I should. I don't know if I shouldn't. You've told me just how fucked up everything is, how close humanity is to the brink of annihilation again. I…"
Cinder sighed, running her hand through her hair and drawing forth a shower of orange sparks that scattered harmlessly along the floor, grimacing as she struggled to put herself into a proper sitting position. "I'm scared, Dad. Why me? Why did it have to be me? There's loads of better fighters in the school, right?"
"Maybe. Maybe not. You guys top the charts for second year with Team CFVY, and lookin' at how you all fight together I'd have thought you guys were third years, maybe fourth years,'' Qrow answered, snorting as he leaned back and reached out, running his hand through Cinder's hair as his Aura flickered to life and filled the room with the cool scent of the forest and a dark wind, his soul still containing traces of his bad luck aura even if his Semblance was still gone . "Cinder… it's a big commitment. I ain't gonna tell you to lean one way or another. It has to be your choice. I… I want you to leave it behind. To pretend that Oz never decided to make you the first choice to inherit Amber's power. I want you to be safe ."
He almost whispered that last part, his face dropping as he scooted closer and drew his daughter into his arms- maybe they weren't as close as they could have been because of when he'd adopted her, but Cinder was his daughter. His kid. His lil firecracker. He'd watched her grow, made sure she learned everything she ever wanted to learn, tried to make sure she turned out better than her past, turned out better than his past.
Cinder just made a quiet little sniffling sound, curling up slightly despite the fact that she might have been a little too big now to sit in Qrow's lap now that she was a grown young woman going on twenty one. "I wanna be safe too. I'm… I don't know if I want it or not. I don't think I really do. But I don't want to say no either… and… it's so stupid… some part of me keeps thinking that I might need it one day. That… wouldn't it be better to have extra power down the line? Wouldn't it be better to just take it, be strong, so strong that no one can hurt me again? I feel like… gods, I feel like I'm backsliding to how I was back when you and Ruby first found me… except this time instead of being afraid of some rich piece of shit holding the remote to a shock collar, I'm terrified of some mysterious witch who's trying to destroy the world and can apparently hypnotize my baby sister into becoming a horrific monster!"
"... Yeah. You're right to be, honestly. But I wouldn't say you're backsliding- it takes some guts to admit you're scared and that you don't know what to do. I'm proud of you, firecracker," Qrow sighed, pressing a gentle kiss to the crown of Cinder's head and holding her close, as though he were trying to protect her from the world even though he knew damn well that he wasn't good at protecting anyone. "The way I see it… Oz doesn't want you to suffer. No one does. It's why he agreed to let me be the person to step in with this- Tai woulda pulled all three of you outta school by now if he'd been in charge, but… I trust him. Not with your lives, but I trust that he's trying to do the right thing. It's just… hard to see what is the right thing. There's no easy answers, firecracker. Shit's hard and complicated and I can't tell you if you should take the power or not. Being the Fall Maiden makes sure you're more powerful, yeah, but… it puts you at risk. Makes you a target. If you use the powers, someone's gonna talk and that information's gonna make it back to Salem somehow . And… I don't know what she'll do to try and get at them. I'd rather you just fade into obscurity and never make trouble again, but we both know that's not gonna happen."
He snorted, shaking his head as he patted Cinder's shoulder fondly, giving her a rueful grin. "You're too much like your old man and your sisters, y'know that? You're too good at being great."
"I just try to do my best is all," Cinder shrugged, then shook her head just like Qrow, sending her hair flying every which way as she brought her Aura to her hands and let her Semblance activate for a brief moment- palms glowing slightly before cooling down again. "But… I know how you feel. Maybe I'm not cut out for having those powers… I don't… I don't know if I'll do well with them. What if- I don't know…"
"If you're so afraid of having them, then don't take the mantle. I'll tell Oz you said no, you can forget all about the Maiden powers, and pretend you're just a normal student for the rest of your time here- no biggie."
"But then Pyrrha will have to step up! And she's like, three years younger than me! I can't- I don't think I can let her take the mantle either! She's-" Cinder sighed, clutching her temples and grumbling as she tried to get her thoughts in order. "I don't want the power because I'm scared. I want the power because I still feel like I need to be the strongest so that no one ever hurts me again. I don't want the power because I'm terrified of misusing them or doing something wrong and hurting someone. I… I want the power because I don't want to subject anyone else to having to deal with this conspiracy. Because… if it's not me, then someone else, maybe someone who isn't as good of a fighter… someone's gonna take the mantle, and who knows what they'll do with it, or how well they could handle it."
"That's always the question with this kinda thing," Qrow sighed heavily, staring up at the ceiling as Cinder stood up suddenly and started pacing around the room. "There's never any right or wrong answers when it comes to playing with the lives of yourself and others. All you can do is make the most of what you have, try and make sure that the fallout hits as few people as possible. Oz'd say something about trust and unity, but frankly I don't know jack about how he manages to sound so convincing with it."
"Heh… that does sound like the professor. I should probably go talk to him about my answer," Cinder sighed quietly, chewing her thumbnail and gritting her teeth as she pulled glass from her side pouch and started molding it in one hand- viscous globs of glowing liquid flowing along with the pulls and swirls of her Aura as she used it to fidget around, shaping it into everything she could think of to keep her thoughts from running wild. "I don't know, Dad. I just don't know. He needs that answer soon, doesn't he? You told me Amber was going to die by the end of the year anyway…"
"Yeah. She is."
"... Dammit."
Both of them stayed there in silence for a long moment, Cinder continuously shaping her glob of glass in her hands as she thought about her answer- all of the reasons why she could or couldn't handle the power of the Fall Maiden, the danger that went into not only her own sacrifice but also Amber's sacrifice. Would it hurt? Would it kill her?
She sighed, ducking her head. "There's so many reasons not to… but I think there's really only one answer to give. I can't let anyone else go through the danger. I can't step aside knowing that I could have taken on the burden, taken the pain instead of letting someone else suffer. So…"
Qrow shook his head, grimacing before he stood and punched the wall with a muted scream of defeat, the sudden burst of despair and rage coming as a surprise to both of them as the wall dented under the force of his fist.
"... Sorry."
"No, firecracker. I'm sorry. I… I didn't want this for you. I wanted you to grow up happy and safe… "
"I know. You did your best. And hey, I turned out alright, didn't I?"
"You turned out like Summer… and I'm so proud, but… I'm so, so sorry."
"I'm sorry too."
Notes:
One way or another, Cinder gets Fall
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein