Kapitel 1028: 42
041 - The (Empire) Tiger strikes back
By the time we reach our wing of the Temple building, there's a pleasant scent of cooked food spreading through the air. It's hard to pick anything past the pervading smell of the katsuo dashi, but I'm fairly sure I smell grilled salmon with parsley and garlic. Unless Medea has decided to try her hand with modern Mediterranean food, that means Haku and Sakura are working together to make lunch today.
Business as usual then.
"I'm home!" I announce cheerfully, holding the door for Ayako and Medusa like the perfect gentleman I am.
What do you mean sliding doors don't need holding? How's that supposed to be a factor? Holding the door is the gentlemanly thing to do and thus is the thing I'll do for my prospective wife. I'm supposed to be courting her, after all.
Ayako might be developing mind-reading powers, because she elbows me in the gut as she walks past me. Don't take my word for it, but I think she's still feeling disgruntled about something.
"Welcome home, Nii-san!" Haku peeks out of the kitchen to greet us. "Everything alright? You took a while."
"Ayako here was being a slowpoke." I answer easily, pointing at the culprit with a thumb. "So the way back took a bit longer."
"You could've returned my shoe!" The aforementioned protests.
"No way!" I cross my arms, looking away with an exaggerated pout. "You gave it to me, no backsies."
"I was trying to hurt you! Are you a masochist, Emiya? Maybe you have a weird feet fetish?"
"I'm more of a sadist, actually." I quip.
"You certainly don't look the part."
"It wasn't Nii-san who had to hobble back here with only one shoe, though?" Haku points out cheerfully.
At that comment, Ayako glares at me even harder. I just shrug and smile. Haku sure knows me well. After some more glaring, Ayako deflates with a sigh, seemingly giving up.
I only now notice Medusa's absence, no doubt having astralized in the background and slipped away while we argued. I'd call her a coward, but I suspect she couldn't care less about our bickering while Sakura is a couple of rooms away.
"What did even happen?" Haku asks in turn. "I thought shoe-throwing was only considered flirting back in Elementary School?"
"I secured her stay here with us for a couple of weeks." I explain with a smug smile. "That's what happened."
"He intimidated my parents into giving their blessings to our courtship!" Of course, Ayako objects. Unreasonably so, if you ask me.
"Wow, Ayako-chan. Lucky you!" Haku exclaims cheerfully, clapping her hands together and perfectly playing the part of the ditzy supportive friend. It's good to know I'm not the only one having fun with this conversation. "I would've loved to get the same, but dad died before we were the proper age for those things."
"It would've been weird to have that conversation with Kiritsugu." I comment. "Hey dad, I got the hots for my sister, can you give us your blessing to pursue a formal relationship?"
"Dad would've given them." Haku replies confidently. "He was pragmatic like that."
"That he was..." I give with a sigh. You can say many bad things about Kiritsugu, but he knew how to pick his fights. "I have to wonder how things would've worked at home if he still was around to play chaperone."
"It would've complicated things a bit…" Haku trails off, a dopey smile forming in her face and her expression turning slightly vacant as she daydreams about something I can only guess about. "But I'm sure it would've been hot to sneak around him."
"Can you guys get your mind out of the gutter for a second and focus on the topic at hand?" Ayako interrupts in annoyance.
"I don't see the problem?" Haku tilts her head innocently. "You got what you wanted and it doesn't actually cost you anything."
"Well, I don't appreciate the presumption!" Ayako crosses her arms with a huff, which is a good point, I guess. In my defense, it was an accident. I never expected to actually pull it off. "And what about my reputation?"
"Eh? I'd say it's going to go up the roof by officially dating Nii-san, even if it goes nowhere in the end." Haku dismisses her worries. "He is Homurahara's most desirable bachelor and ten times winner of the Most Pants-melting Smile Award by the newspaper club, after all."
Not that the newspaper club awards are all that important, mind. But it was always fun to rub those on Shinji's face.
I watch Ayako's posture gradually relax and her eyes gain a considering look as Haku makes her point. That particular expression I noticed earlier, the one that means she's trying very hard to hold back a blush, appears in her face again.
I think Haku got through her.
"... Point." She finally acknowledges, sounding as if it physically pains her to admit. "I still don't appreciate the presumption. Can I get my shoe back now, please?"
"Sure, I'll leave it here in the shoe rack." I agree easily. "The joke was getting stale anyway."
"Oh, you didn't just say my feet stink!"
I can't help but chuckle at her answer and, for a glorious moment, it looks like she's going to throw her other shoe at me. In the end though, she settles for sending me a last glare before turning around and leaving us behind.
"You think she's mad at me?" I ask Haku once Ayako disappears into the small bedroom muttering unflattering things under her breath.
"Nah, she's just mad that you got one over her. Ayako-chan is competitive like that." She refutes amusedly. "Five thousand say she's going to lock the door and have some private time for… vigorous self-grooming. She'll be all smiles once she unloads some tension."
"...No bet." Ayako isn't an otherworldly beauty like the Servants or the 'main heroines' but she is a beautiful girl and, as opposed to many others, I have personally known her for years. There's something appealing at the thought of having her masturbating to thoughts of me just a flimsy wall away. "I think I like her."
"Right, right?" She asks cheerfully, getting closer to me with a smile of anticipation. "Did I do good?"
"Yes, yes... " I fondly pat her head, enjoying the way she closes her eyes in obvious delight. "Good job, Haku."
"Ehehe~! Praise me more!"
"I'll do you one better." I say as I step into her personal space with a mischievous smile on my lips. "There's nobody here in the corridor and everyone in the house is busy."
A knee slips between her legs, my hands slamming the wall behind her both sides of her head. I lean even closer as Haku shrinks into herself and her face explodes into a nuclear blush. My lips brush her ear as I speak out in an alluring whisper.
"I think I can give you some proper reward."
"Meeep!"
Her cries of distress aren't very believable...
It's quite a bit later that we finally reach the kitchen, with Haku's hair and uniform looking utterly tussled and what I suspect is an overly pleased smile on my face. There, we stumble into a surprise. A surprise in the shape of a rabid tiger sitting at the table and devouring everything Sakura puts in front of her with the fury of a thousand (suns) stray cats.
"Yo brat!" Fujimura Taiga greets between bites, waving at me without releasing her chopsticks. "What took you so long?"
"Fuji-nee? What in the blazing hells are you doing here?"
"What, you don't want me around?" She huffs, accepting another bowl from Sakura without even looking my way. "You didn't call all day yesterday so I came to pay a home visit as the responsible adult that I am!"
"You missed breakfast two days in a row and couldn't put up with it anymore, didn't you?" I deadpan in response.
"Sh– Shut up!" She finally stops eating to look away flustered… for about five seconds. Then it's right back to feasting fiesta. "Nobody told me there wouldn't be breakfasts waiting for me if you weren't at home! I had to go hungry for two days straight! This is parental abuse!"
"I'm not sure that means what you think it means, Fuji-nee." I chuckle. "And you're our legal tutor, not our parent."
"Tutorial abuse!"
"Still doesn't mean what you think it means."
"I don't care!" She cries out in exasperation. "You're cooking for me as an apology!"
"Sure, sure..." Poor Fuji-nee. Having to raise a smartass like me couldn't have been easy.
"Tonight!" She demands petulantly, making me freeze.
"Ah, that's…" I hesitate, taking a glance behind me and nervously licking my lips. "Probably a bad idea."
"Ah! Haku-chan! The brat of your brother is trying to shirk his duties towards your onee-chan!"
"Actually, today is Haku-chan's turn to cook." I explain while Haku smiles sweetly by my side. "She'll serve my liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti if I try to claim the kitchen."
"Tomorrow then!" Taiga backtracks immediately.
"Tomorrow is my turn to make dinner, Fujimura-sensei." Sakura interjects sweetly, depositing a dish with some steamed buns in front of her. We don't shiver in horror at the visage, because she's a vision of sweet innocence and obviously there's no reason to. "I wouldn't appreciate having it skipped over."
"F– fine, whatever!" Taiga rallies herself a second time, looking even more put-upon. She has stopped eating to cross her arms and everything. "When's the brat's turn to cook?"
That question causes the whole room to explode in laughter while I take a step closer to put a hand on Fuji-nee's arm.
"Sometimes I think I can only cook after outsmarting everyone else in the house." I explain somberly.
"Oh, don't be melodramatic, Nii-san." Haku protests. "You give as good as you take. And Ecchan doesn't really like cooking so she doesn't count. Neither does Jackie."
"We like to bake cake!" Jackie announces cheerfully from Fuji-nee's lap.
"... Okay, but Ecchan still doesn't like cooking." Haku reluctantly concedes, before pausing when she notices the way Fuji-nee is eyeing Jackie. "Fuji-nee?"
"...Where did this child come from?"
"Oh, that's Megissa's child." I bullshit on the fly. "Just the other day she managed to get custody back from her abusive boyfriend."
"I see." Fuji-nee studies me with naked suspicion for just a little longer than I feel comfortable with, before turning around to pat Jackie's head with a genial smile. "Do you like it here, Jackie-chan?"
I do my best to hold back my laughter, but a snort still escapes me. Fuji-nee's attention shifts away from Jackie to glare at me.
"Jackie-chan?" I explain, trying to keep my amusement under control. "Really?"
"What do you…? Ah." At least she has the decency to blush once she puts two and two together. "Not a very cute name, isn't it? What can I call you then?"
Jackie thinks it over for about a second before making her interest on the topic clear with a shrug and a three word answer. "We are Jack."
"We all call her Jackie, I don't think you need to reinvent the wheel here." I answer with a shrug of my own before turning towards the cat-like Servant still getting her head pats with an expression of utter bliss. "What do you think?"
Her expression shifts into a pouty glare as she turns to face me. "We think you take up too much of Mommy's time." She answers without hesitation, getting free from Taiga's hands to walk out of the room.
"Oh, well, there she goes. Children, right?" I chuckle, scratching the back of my head. "Wow, I'm starving! Is there anything around to eat that Fuji-nee hasn't devoured yet?"
"Braaaaat?" As I'm trying to walk into my seat to finally have some lunch, I'm pinned in place by a voice that sounds like a big feline growling. "What did she mean with you taking up her mother's time!?"
While I inwardly sigh and get ready for a long conversation involving a lot of bullshitting my way out of both baseless and baseful accusations, I catch Jackie peeking at me from beyond the doorframe.
That little monster… She did that on purpose.
Fuji-nee spends a whole hour having lunch and then another hour being a pest -but giving Ecchan a wide berth- in the living room before finally remembering that she's an adult with responsibilities and doesn't have any more time to waste lazing around with us.
She never meets Medusa at all and only remembers to question Ayako's presence as an afterthought while she was already getting ready to leave.
Before I can explain what's going on, Ayako sinks her elbow in my guts and spouts that lie she had prepared for her parents about an Archery Club training camp. Which means that my ribs hurt and that Fuji-nee, as the club advisor, has all the excuses she needs to visit whenever the hell pleases her.
… She would've probably done that anyway, so I guess it's no big deal?
I'd love to say that the rest of the day went by peacefully, teasing Ecchan a bit more or maybe trying to fluster Medusa in some perfectly harmless and innocent way, but night has barely started to fall when we get warned about incoming hostiles.
'Tohsaka and Einzbern are moving towards the Temple.' Judging by the way everyone perks up, Medea's telepathic message wasn't sent to me alone. 'Chances are they are planning to fight.'
"Oh? I guess it was unavoidable, considering the circumstances." I comment lightly, getting up from the sofa. "Plan B it is."
"Plan B?" Ayako asks, watching everyone else stand up after me. "What was plan A?"
"Plan A was picking up the pieces after their alliance exploded." I admit, scratching the back of my head with a sheepish smile. "I'm still a bit surprised they managed to work together for long enough to actually launch an attack."
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein