Kapitel 8: Nourishing This Poisoned Love

Yeongwon displayed his benevolent demeanor, but it no longer worked with Pingguo, over time. They had met through work, Yeongwon was one of the models selected by the company to be the face of the cosmetics brand. At the time, Pingguo was just a simple intern and played the role of a courier for the company. She accompanied the teams on shoots and made sure the models never lacked anything. Among them, a young man stood out for his kindness towards Pingguo, and that man was Kim Yeongwon. Like all young women her age, Pingguo naturally fell for this handsome model; little did she know that beneath this angelic appearance hid a true demon, and she regretted it every day. Sometimes, she would forget that Kim Yeongwon was still in her life, and when he reappeared, he would sow great chaos, leaving Pingguo in the middle, helpless and destroyed.

"So?"

"..."

"Don't you have anything to say to your darling after four months of absence?" he asked, seeking her gaze. "You're breaking my heart; it seems like I haven't been missed."

He wanted to caress her, but Pingguo's face showed her reluctance. She was not enchanted by his presence, and she had no desire to mask it with a fake smile. Yeongwon did not expect such coldness from her; he resigned himself to merely brushing her arm, but even then, Pingguo quickly withdrew.

"Yes, but it's just that I've experienced a lot today, so my mind was occupied."

"Oh... I understand, especially since Yuanwei Hua lets you do all his dirty work. Are you not too tired?"

"No, I'm fine."

The conversation couldn't even blossom; Pingguo killed it in the bud. She let no emotions show and answered almost mechanically to the questions her boyfriend asked. The realization annoyed Yeongwon; she was too distant for his taste, and he did not appreciate the tense atmosphere between him and his partner because it meant only one thing. To prevent her from avoiding him, he sat next to Pingguo; she shivered.

"Can you tell me what you're playing at? What's wrong with you? It seems like you're not happy to see me, am I wrong?"

Yeongwon brushed aside a few strands on her neck; Pingguo began to feel less and less in control of herself. Her mother's sentence came back to her; she understood why she became so touchy when her father was around; it was a way for her to protect herself from him. She wished her mother had shown her how to reject these kinds of men, those who loved only the presence and not the person, those to whom one never said no. Pingguo gritted her teeth; she wanted to explode with anger or scream and run away.

"No, it's not that. I'm just a little tired today, that's all."

"Hmm, really? Then lie down a bit and rest; I'll give you a little massage."

Gently, Yeongwon laid her on the sofa, even though Pingguo's expression demonstrated her refusal. The young man took off his jacket, then removed his girlfriend's slippers to start his massage. In the past, this filled Pingguo with love, but today, the simple act of him putting his hands on her frightened her. She was as stiff as a piece of wood; she could barely breathe.

"It feels good," she said, hesitantly.

"Oh, yeah? That reassures me. So, how's work?"

"It's fine; I try to improve every day."

Although he expected it, Pingguo did not return the question to her companion; Yeongwon chuckled.

"Jagiya, doesn't my life interest you that much?"

"What?" she asked, confused.

"Well, since I arrived, you've hardly asked me anything. My health, my life, my current occupations, nothing interests you. It saddens me that you treat me like this, you know?"

Yeongwon began to bend Pingguo's toes too much; what was once pleasant became a real torture, which the poor woman tasted the bitter taste without complaining. Now, the massage became a means of transferring his anger to his fiancee, and the latter remained subjected to his treatment.

"I'm sorry," Pingguo replied, tortured. "I had a tough day."

"Hmm... I understand."

"Yeongwon-ah, gently, you're hurting me..."

"Oh really?" asked the young man, feigning surprise. "Sorry, I'll go more gently then. I had a tough day too. I had to fulfill the obligations for the launch of a new collection today; it was chaos."

As best as she could, Pingguo tried to resume the conversation normally even though her fiancée had tried to twist her ankle. His heart was with Taiyang, praying that his psychopathic companion wouldn't find out.

"Oh really? I hope everything goes well," Pingguo wished, falsely cheerful. "And how is your father, by the way?"

"He relapsed again, but don't worry," reassured Yeongwon. "He's not getting any younger, and he's a bit lonely when I'm away. But maybe the visit of his daughter-in-law will make him happy, what do you think?"

Pingguo did not answer; she contented herself with a nervous laugh. She would never marry this madman, never. She had moved so many times, and each time without knowing how, Yeongwon always managed to find her new address. She dreamed only of one thing: a life without him; he made her live a real nightmare.

Suddenly, Yeongwon stopped his massage. He lay down next to her and hugged her tightly, preventing her from fleeing or even moving correctly. Pingguo was suffocating; inside her, the young woman imagined herself elsewhere. Far from him, far from everything.

"You smell like lavender," Pingguo remarked.

It was clear; her apartment was not the only place Yeongwon had visited today. And he hadn't even bothered to change; well, what was the point? He had already warned her countless times that it happened; one day he would end up going elsewhere. Pingguo couldn't care less; in fact, her only prayer was that he would stay where he had seen others. He smiled and buried his head in the young woman's neck, whom he wanted to avoid at all costs.

"Yes, I did some shootings today, and we had a team dinner. And you know how reunions are; sometimes, some scents linger."

Yeongwon's tone remained calm; evidently, he had perfected the art of lying and hiding during these months of absence. Each time he returned, he gained in power, to better control, cajole, and above all, deny any allegations.

"I see..."

"I missed you, you know. I went to Berlin, and there I saw a beautiful dress. I bought it for you, and I can't wait to see you wear it."

The syndrome of the rich, wanting to bury their bad side under their luxury. Pingguo smiled and nodded, even though she knew that like all the gifts he gave her, this dress would end up at the back of her closet.

"Thank you for thinking of me; I'm happy."

"Don't say that; it's normal. I want you to be happy; I want to make you a beautiful princess. I know I'm not the most tolerable person, but you manage to love me and stay by my side. Thank you very much, and I hope you will always stay by my side."

Yeongwon kissed her, nourishing this poisoned love. These were the words Pingguo had fallen madly in love with, but after these past two years, she finally understood how far from a fairy tale she would be if she ever agreed to share her life with this man.

Yeongwon eventually fell asleep. Pingguo closed her eyes, praying that Taiyang's dreams would remain beautiful. Only dreams could be wonderful until the end in this world; the good side of man was sadly ephemeral. Pingguo felt her stomach cool from the open bay window leading to the balcony; this air reminded her of beautiful memories. During sunny days, she and her Yeongwon played cat and mouse throughout the house and ended up outside. The wind refreshed them almost every time; it had become a ritual during their weekends. But as time passed, these tender customs disappeared more and more to make way for the man Yeongwon truly was under his beautiful mask of a gentle and caring person. A crazy, violent, and possessive drunkard. It was so sad; man never had a single facet, and the other was never as good as the first. Certainly, perfection did not exist, but these kinds of imperfections hurt others most of the time.

This night finally ended. Fortunately, as if he knew, Taiyang had only woken up once Yeongwon was asleep. Pingguo found a way to slip away from the sofa to join him, and she spent the night with him. Taiyang was her little corner of paradise; he offered her a kind of inner peace. From the early hours of the morning, Pingguo prepared the child, then it was her turn, making as little noise as possible, not to wake up her fiancé still lying on the sofa. She left on tiptoe, frightened at the idea that he would wake up and come across the newborn. A good discussion was needed first, if possible calm, with Yeongwon before he saw Taiyang.