Kapitel 69: All The "Sorry"'s I Never Said (9)

Joon-woo stood in front of his apartment door with a serious expression. Kite was behind it. Kite– who Joon-woo hadn't seen in a week. Kite– who didn't know that Joon-woo wouldn't debut. Kite– who was as suspicious as unknowing.

Joon-woo pushed open the door, letting the small apartment unfold in front of him.

The kitchen, though melded into a kitchen-living-room hybrid, was just as Joon had left it. It was when he locked the multiple locks on his front door and made his way to the bathroom where his nerves spiked.

The mirror was cracked, shattered into a million pieces that were scattered across the floor. Scattered at the base of the bathroom sink-counter was small splatters of blood. Joon-woo gasped, almost falling to the floor as his legs weakened at the heavy sight.

He couldn't see what was in the bowl of the bathroom sink, though that's where the first and larger splatters of blood were visible. He hesitantly took a step into the cramped bathroom, over the shattered mirror pieces, over the blood splats.

Kite was in the sink's bowl. Kite– with his left wing practically skinned and awkwardly bent like it was broken. Kite's neck was awkwardly twisted and its eyes were wide open.

Joon-woo knew this sight from the occasional sight of seeing a dead bird on the street. Kite was dead in his sink. Kite was dead. Dead. Joon-woo's legs lost their ability to stand and he fell square on his butt. His hand scratched up on a piece of mirror but he didn't care. Kite was dead. Dead. Dead.

"W-what..?" Joon-woo stammered, his uncut hand over his mouth.

His phone buzzed in his hoodie pocket. He ignored it as it buzzed and buzzed longer than it would if it was just a text message. It was a call. Joon-woo was being called and he narrowed down the callers to the message-bugs that Reggie and Mi Yong were. They had plans to carpool and meet at Bo Jaesang's place to cheer the other up. Was it already time for that? Joon-woo hadn't checked the time in a hot minute.

What did this mean for him? Wasn't Kite his key to death, to these odd timelines?

Joon-woo pushed himself up and stared at his bleeding hand. The mirror shard was deep in his hand, but the pain was tolerable– he had felt worse. His gaze shifted back to Kite's body, but only for a second, the unmoving feathers stilled Joon-woo's thoughts.

He gulped, and made his way to the kitchen sink instead. He washed the blood from his cut and pulled out the mirror shard with just a slight wince. The bleeding would take a while to stop, Joon-woo knew. That's how Ha-rin had gone out, slits along her wrist. That's how she had died and ended up here– in a timeline where Cheerleader, where she never existed.

His phone began to buzz again. Joon-woo shakily picked it up with his non-hurt hand. Mi Yong's caller ID popped up and a call started.

"Hi Joonia-ah~!" Mi Yong playfully greeted over call.

"Hi Hyung…" Joon-woo replied, hoping his voice came out loud enough.

"On our way now! Reggie, Hyunnie, say hi!" Mi Yong practically demanded from the other voices. Reggie and Jung Hyun-Ok greeted Joon-woo from the other end. "We'll be there in like five minutes, okay?"

Joon-woo held his breath at the time reveal. Really, what was he to do? How could he clean up and gather his thoughts and– Kite. What would he even do?

"Joonie-ah, is that okay???" Mi Yong asked again.

"Oh, yeah, it's fine." Joon-woo lied. It wasn't fine. He wasn't fine.

Mi Yong hung up the call and the silence in the apartment returned. It was only silent if you ignored the smokers coughing their lungs out and faint s*x noises a few rooms down. Joon-woo had gotten used to this dangerous area of living.

He looked back to the bathroom after washing the gushing blood away from his hand. He stood to get another look at Kite's body.

He looked towards Kite's body, the shattered mirror, the blood, the loose feathers. He raised an eyebrow as Kite's oddly upturned wing was not visible as it should be from the angle Joon-woo was staring at.

Joon-woo took a hesitant step towards the bathroom. He peered in the sink, hand stinging in a passable pain.

"What..?" Joon-woo muttered.

Kite's body was no longer in the sink.

Joon-woo looked all around the bathroom and out the doorway of the bathroom. Was he finally going insane? Had he finally lost it?

Kite's body wasn't anywhere where Joon-woo had just sworn he saw it. He was insane. Finally, he was insane. An insane person wasn't suitable to be an idol. He wasn't idol material. Joon-woo wasn't meant to be an idol. He had no purpose here. He wouldn't even debut. Wasn't that the funniest thing in the worst? Joon-woo laughed to himself for a moment. He waited, wanted for God to strike him down where he sat.

A flapping of wings made Joon-woo flinch.

"God..?" He quietly muttered, trying to pinpoint where it came from.

Another flap.

"Hey… hey– God?" Joon-woo repeated.

The feather pattern of a black kite crossed vision. Joon-woo tried to follow the fast flying. Insane. He was insane.

"Huff, hah… They really don't make it easy on ya'..." A familiar voice spoke.

Kite. It was Kite.

"Oh… Kite?!" Joon-woo gasped, as the black kite bird perched in front of Joon-woo with ease. His previously snapped up wing was fine and his eye's were only slightly open and he was alive. Kite was alive. "What… I am finally insane now?"

Kite hesitantly ruffled at its feathers as if stretching.

"Joon-woo, listen, I don't really know how to explain this–"

"Are you real? Are you–"

Kite huffed, "I'm real. I'm quite real."

"Then what was that?" Joon-woo practically screamed.

His phone began to buzz again. They were here.

"Listen– you're going to Bo Jaesang's place, right? Just listen to what I say and it'll make sense. Okay? Joon-woo– please do this for me." Kite sounded… panicked?

Joon-woo clenched his fists.

"Your friends are waiting. Just do this for me and it'll all make sense." Kite ushered.

Joon-woo watched the bird with pursed lips.

"You better have a good explanation or I will not hesitate to kill myself…" Joon-woo threatened.

Kite visibly flinched at the threat. Joon-woo began towards the over-locked front door.

"...got it." Kite replied.

–+–

"Joonie-ah! Come in, come in!" Mi Yong ushered for Joon-woo to enter the car from a rolled down window.

Joon-woo hid his wrapped up hand behind his back and nodded. The splotchy potholes and dips in the sidewalk were long familiar. Also held behind his back in his hands was Kite. Joon-woo tightly squeezed the bird as it squirmed. Joon-woo also wore a calm expression so fake he felt his face seeth to show the stress and angst pressing against his expression. He didn't let it show. Today was for Bo Jaesang, not him.

In the car, Jung Hyun-Ok and Reggie were already sitting. Jung Hyun-Ok sat in the passenger seat and Reggie, in the back row. There was one spot left for Joon-woo in the back row. With tense movements Joon-woo entered the car, shutting the door behind him to the whistles of the latest-moved-in drunk deadbeat.

"Joonie-ah~ this area is so scary…" Mi Yong commented. Jung Hyun-Ok knocked Mi Yong on the forearm for the comment.

Joon-woo nodded, "It's a bit sketchy, yeah. Sorry for making you drive in this area…"

Mi Yong waved, "It's okay, it's okay… You would've loved to see the dorm they gave us in Winner." He sucked at his teeth. "I was scared of being stabbed everyday! Isn't it the same here?" He exaggerated.

Joon-woo shrugged, though both Reggie and Jung Hyun-OK tried to respectfully call Mi Yong out at the insensitive inquiries. "Only at night." He honestly replied.

Reggie slightly gasped, making the attention face away from Joon-woo. In that moment, Joon-woo released Kite from his death grip and let the bird fearfully flutter around the car.

"Explain yourself…" Joon-woo whispered to the bird, "We're on the way now."

Reggie explained a plan to the group, but Joon-woo only half paid attention. He was too busy staring down Kite, who opened and closed his peak without a word.

Kite looked at the others' in the car. "You better play your poker face well when I tell you this…" Kite prefaced, before taking a deep sigh.