Kapitel 263: Self-Blame
(Words: 2395)
...
Although Sasaki had already confessed to Chifuyu that he had a girlfriend, their conversations had since avoided any mention of Otome.
As a result, their relationship hadn't become awkward after his confession.
Because of this, he still felt comfortable enough to do things with idiot Chifuyu that went beyond what typical friends would do.
Placing his bag on the desk in front of him, he glanced at the student on duty up front, then quietly approached her from behind.
Then he gently covered her warm, soft eyes, which suddenly became more lively with surprise.
"Fuyumi…"
Chifuyu's small, delicate hand, slightly damp from being clenched too long, weakly tugged at the hand covering her eyes.
Not wanting to tease her further in front of others, Sasaki let go of her eyes and rested his hand on her slender shoulder, softly asking:
"Who made the little fool angry?"
Chifuyu straightened her slim back, lifting her chin from the desk as she half-turned to look at Sasaki beside her.
Before muttering in a low, hesitant voice,
"I'm not upset."
Catching the flaw in her words, Sasaki pinched her soft, smooth cheek, pressing her,
"Then someone did upset you? Who was it?"
"…"
To be honest, it wasn't really about someone else upsetting her… Well, it kind of was, but ultimately, the reason lay with Sasaki himself.
Today was Friday, the day their class received their weekly test results.
As Sasaki's seatmate, Chifuyu was well aware of his test scores this time around.
And it was precisely because she knew that she felt uncomfortable.
She knew her friend was smart, and that it was natural for his grades to improve after tutoring.
But to improve so much in just a few days to the level of her boyfriend… wasn't that a bit too much?
Takagi-san's grades were pretty bad, but they were still much better than Fuyumi's by a wide margin.
However, Fuyumi's scores in this exam were seven or eight points higher than Takagi-san's in every subject.
If it were just one or two subjects, she could chalk it up to Fuyumi's hard work, but excelling in every single area made it hard for Chifuyu to understand.
The teacher always said, "There are no stupid students, only students who don't try. As long as you put in the effort, your grades will improve."
That's all well and good, but…
Fuyumi's grades went up by twenty or thirty points across all subjects.
Takagi-san's combined scores barely improved by ten points.
This… effort…
As Takagi's girlfriend, Chifuyu naturally couldn't place the blame on him.
However, when she shifted the blame onto herself, she fell into a deep state of self-doubt.
She had stayed up late, carefully highlighting key points for Takagi, creating practice tests, and seriously explaining the material to him.
So how could the results turn out like this?
Was her approach wrong?
Sasaki didn't fully understand what was going on in Chifuyu's mind, but her behavior aligned with his earlier suspicions about how she would react after learning about his own grades,
He had a pretty good idea of what she was thinking.
Before she could respond, Sasaki slightly increased the pressure of his fingers on her cheek,
"Let's talk outside. There are still people in the classroom."
"Mm~"
Once they left the classroom and began walking downstairs, he continued the conversation.
"Let me think… what could be bothering you, Chifuyu? Hmm, it's probably about Takagi, right?
But didn't his grades improve?"
"…"
Facing his questioning gaze, Chifuyu found herself at a loss for words and lowered her head.
Takagi-san's grades had indeed improved.
If she hadn't known about Fuyumi's scores, she wouldn't have thought much of it.
Without anything to compare it to, even if Takagi's progress fell short of her expectations, she wouldn't have felt too disappointed.
In fact, she might have consoled herself, saying that as long as his grades improved, it was good enough.
But once she had someone to compare him to, she couldn't help but measure his scores against Sasaki's.
In comparison, Chifuyu's emotions became a tangled mess.
The greater the gap between them, the deeper her doubts about herself grew.
She didn't think poorly of her boyfriend, nor did she think poorly of Fuyumi.
But their scores were so drastically different.
So the problem must lie with her, the one doing the tutoring.
The frustration at her own inadequacy made her feel increasingly upset and aggrieved as
Chifuyu's clear brown eyes began to mist over with tears.
Before the tears could spill down her flushed cheeks, the growing blur in her vision caused her to stumble as they descended the stairs, missing a step.
The sudden imbalance sent a jolt of fear through her heart.
But before the expected pain could arrive, a strong arm suddenly wrapped around her waist, pulling her back into a familiar, warm embrace.
Accompanying the comforting warmth was the equally familiar, gentle inquiry,
"Careful now. Did you twist your ankle?"
This wasn't the first time he had caught her in his arms.
Instinctively ignoring the fact that she was now tightly held against him, Chifuyu shook her head, still shaken, "No, I didn't twist it."
"When I called you a little idiot, I wasn't wrong, was I…?"
Once she regained her balance, Sasaki naturally released her from his embrace and took hold of her small, soft hand.
However, just as he was about to tease her further, he noticed the glistening tears at the corner of her eyes:
"Are you sure you didn't twist your ankle? Then why are you crying all of a sudden?"
Letting go of her hand as soon as he realized, Sasaki didn't argue further, but instead, gently cupped her delicate face, which was about the same size as his palm, and rubbed her silky-smooth temples with his thumbs.
"Waaah~ I'm such an idiot…"
Not being comforted might have been easier for her, but now that someone she cared about had seen her vulnerability, all the sadness and frustration Chifuyu had been holding back surged forward.
With just a few words, Sasaki understood that she was blaming herself for Takagi's grades.
Once he was sure she wasn't physically hurt, he dismissed the thought of checking her ankle and instead took a step closer, pulling her firmly into his arms.
People often don't truly understand each other's emotions.
As Chifuyu cried, full of sorrow and sadness, Sasaki's first thought as he held her wasn't of her pain, but of how soft, warm, and pleasant she felt.
The warmth of her body, even through the thin fabric of their clothes, was more comforting than any blanket on a cold winter night, making him reluctant to let go.
The gentle, elegant scent from her hair and clothes, reminiscent of cosmos flowers, made Sasaki instinctively take a deep breath, nuzzling his face into her soft, fragrant hair, "Yeah, you really are a little idiot."
"Waaah~"
Chifuyu cried even louder as the boy stroked her silky, soft hair, and continued, "But you did a great job tutoring Takagi. His lack of effort has nothing to do with you."
.....
For Chifuyu, Takagi's grades were a reflection of her feelings for him.
She didn't want to admit that he wasn't putting in the effort, even though deep down she knew it was true.
"That's not true… It's my fault," she whimpered in a small voice.
Hearing her weak protest, Sasaki knew that if he pushed back with a simple "what's wrong with you?" it would silence her for a while.
But there was no need to do that.
You can't wake someone who is pretending to be asleep.
When she can no longer keep up the pretense, she'll eventually wake up on her own and cry.
"Okay, fine, let's say it's your fault. So, how do you plan to fix it?"
Without contradicting her, Sasaki continued to enjoy the comforting sensation of her body pressed against his, while asking her the question.
"…"
Not knowing how to fix it, Chifuyu lifted her tear-streaked face from his chest, looking up at him with big, glistening eyes, like a little kitten seeking help.
The two were so close, their faces inches apart.
Sasaki only had to straighten up a bit to fully take in Chifuyu's features.
Her thick, raven-black bangs, like crow feathers, partially covered her forehead.
A few strands of hair fell to the sides, revealing her smooth, pale skin and finely shaped eyebrows.
Under them, her glowing eyes, as clear as amber, shimmered with a mix of shyness and hope that made it hard for him to refuse her anything.
Faced with those big, watery eyes, Sasaki sighed and leaned his forehead against hers, murmuring,
"You really are a handful."
"If you want to know what the problem is, why not just compare and find out?"
Not fully understanding what he meant, Chifuyu nestled back into his chest, waiting for him to explain.
"The person who tutors me is Serizawa from the class next door. When she's tutoring me later, you can sit in and watch."
Chifuyu had never seen Fuyumi study before, so the idea piqued her curiosity.
"Can… can I? I won't be bothering you two?"
Hearing this, Sasaki straightened up and, looking into her sparkling eyes, smiled, "You won't be watching the whole time. Serizawa has her own work to do. When she's busy, that's when I'll need you to tutor me."
"Really? Is that okay?"
Previously, Chifuyu had offered to tutor Sasaki, but he declined.
Now that he was bringing it up, there was no way she could refuse.
Nodding her head eagerly, the girl responded with excitement and anticipation,"Of course, I can!"
Receiving her answer, Sasaki slowly lowered his head before releasing her, and with a smile, he whispered into her small, delicate ear,
"Then I'll be counting on you, Miss Tsukimi~"
!!!
Having never been called that before, Chifuyu's eyes widened in surprise.
Then, a flutter of joy, akin to the popping of candy, danced around in her heart, filling her with a mixture of tingling excitement and sweetness.
Even though it was her first time experiencing this feeling, she found that she really liked it.
The sensation of her heart being filled with this sweetness left her feeling incredibly content.
The sadness and frustration that had been weighing on her because of Takagi's grades were now completely washed away by this overwhelming sense of fulfillment.
As Sasaki observed her, he noticed how her eyes narrowed with happiness, her thick lashes curving like a pair of dark crescent moons, creating a sweet and charming expression.
Letting go of his embrace, he gently pinched her soft cheek and teased:
"Chifuyu, you're really adorable~"
It wasn't the first time he had complimented her like this, but the suddenness of it made her heart, already brimming with sweetness, feel like another piece of sugar had been added to it, causing the sweetness to not only deepen but also overflow.
The delightful warmth surged from her heart, rushing upwards and painting her fair cheeks with a lovely blush.
Covering her face with both hands, Chifuyu responded shyly,
"Thank you~"
Sasaki then took one of her small hands in his and began leading her down the stairs, "We can't keep chatting like this. Serizawa's waiting for us."
Chifuyu placed a hand over her chest, feeling the gentle rise and fall as her heart swelled with lingering joy, nodding her head enthusiastically,
"Mm-hmm~"
Arriving at the door to the library, Sasaki released Chifuyu's soft hand and opened the door.
.
.
.
Just as Serizawa Yukiha was finishing her tasks for the day, she heard the door open and turned her head, lifting her round hips slightly as she glanced toward the entrance.
Although it was rare for students to come to the library to read, it wasn't unheard of.
So, despite her anticipation that it might be Sasaki, she refrained from greeting him before confirming it was indeed him to avoid any awkward situations.
This cautious habit of hers worked well in this instance, as it prevented Chifuyu from sensing anything unusual about the relationship between Sasaki and Serizawa.
Seeing that a classmate of Sasaki's was standing behind him, Serizawa didn't think much of it and simply assumed she was there to read, so she She greeted Sasaki as usual,
"Sasaki-kun."
Sasaki stepped inside, and after Chifuyu followed, he casually closed the door behind them, responding with a smile,
"I'm not too late, am I?"
"No…"
Glancing at the girl who stood obediently behind him, almost like a shy little girlfriend, Serizawa Yukiha couldn't help but feel a bit puzzled.
"And who might this be…?"
She was only curious about the girl's reason for being there.
After all, the way the girl stood quietly behind Fuyumi didn't suggest she was there to read.
As for whether there was anything unusual between this girl and Fuyumi, Serizawa didn't give it much thought.
Fuyumi had previously explained to her that this girl was a classmate who already had a boyfriend.
Stepping aside, Sasaki introduced them with a smile:
"Serizawa, this is my classmate, Tsukimi Chifuyu."
"Chifuyu, this is my senior in the library, Serizawa Yukiha."
In class, Chifuyu had no friends besides Sasaki, and outside of school, her closest relationships were with Otome and Rinka.
Feeling a bit shy in front of new people, Chifuyu carefully bowed and greeted Serizawa:
"Hello, um, it's nice to meet you. Please take care of me~"
"Hello…"
After they exchanged greetings, Sasaki, still smiling, turned to Yukiha and said, "Serizawa, you know that Tsukimi has been tutoring her boyfriend in the study room. Today, she's here to learn a bit about the methods you use to tutor me."
Tutoring methods…
The moment she heard these words, Serizawa Yukiha's mind instinctively jumped to thoughts of jelly, ice cream, and hot water…
It wasn't until she noticed the serious expression on both of their faces that she realized she had misunderstood.
Her face turned slightly red as she silently scolded herself for thinking such thoughts.
At the same time, the girl mentally blamed Fuyumi for making her so strange.
After all, he was the one who kept bringing her those things to eat every day…
Steadying her fluttering heart, Serizawa Yukiha, not entirely sure what Sasaki had in mind, could only nod in agreement.
....
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