Kapitel 110: The Counselor's Lesson.
With everything happening so quickly, Ren decided that he should probably visit Maruki. He wasn't sure what it was about him, but he felt comfortable in his office. Plus, it had been Maruki who had set him on the path he was on today. If anything, he was thankful to the Doctor.
As he made his way through the school, he was suddenly ambushed my a red-headed girl who he hadn't seen in some time.
"Boo!" She jumped at him with a bright smile. "Sorry for not answering your message, my phone keeps malfunctioning, and I also got swamped with gymnastics and school. I was wondering if you still had that offer to try cooking together?"
As Ren looked at her, he couldn't help but take a step back in surprise, his third eye skill had instinctively activated, and as he looked at Kasumi she looked even worse than before. The strange mask she wore before looked as if it had been in the middle of falling apart before forcefully being stitched together. Just looking at it made him uncomfortable.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to actually scare you." Kasumi instantly began to apologize, giving a few small bows just as Ren deactivated his third eye skill to be able to look at her.
"Ah, no, sorry. I was just lost in thought." Ren answered her with a smile, stopping her from bowing again. "Did something… happen? Are you ok?" he couldn't help but ask, still slightly unsettled.
Kasumi tilted her head in confusion.
"Hm? Why do you ask?" She began before her face turned into her signature bright smile. "Ah, Ren, you're too nice. But it's just a small cut, my neighbor has a cat and he accidentally scratched me." She continued, raising her arm to show a small bandaid in it.
"No… I mean… it's been some time. So I was just wondering how you were doing. Last time we talked, things were a bit rough."
Kasumi looked confused again, her mind struggling to understand, before she shook her head and suddenly remembered.
"Ah, that. I uh…." She began, struggling to get the words out. "Honestly, I've never felt better right now. I'm still having some issues, but I think I can work through them." She said, smiling brightly once again.
At this point, it was clear that something was up with Kasumi, and though he had shrugged it off in the past due to the existence of Palaces and the Metaverse, it seemed to be getting worse.
He had looked her up in the MetaNav, Kasumi Yoshizawa, but there hadn't been any results. And if he was being honest, he had too much in his mind to dive too deeply into it. He didn't understand the Metaverse in its entirety, so it was possible there was something outside of Palaces that existed, something that Kasumi was being influenced by.
Giving her a friendly smile, he asked her.
"Do you want to eat lunch together? It's been some time, so it would be nice to catch up."
Kasumi was about to agree, but she suddenly jumped in surprise.
"Ah, sorry, I forgot I need to meet with Miss Kawakami. She was going to help me look over one of my assignments, and she is probably waiting for me right now. But I would love to hang out again. Are you going to the fireworks festival with your friends? If they don't mind me joining I would love to join your group."
She looked a little nervous as she asked, and since he knew the Thieves would welcome her with open arms, he decided to agree.
"Yeah, feel free to come, we'll probably all go to Leblanc afterward, so I can show you how I make my curry then. We can talk over the details after the exams finish."
Giving out her signature bright smile, Kasumi quickly gave her goodbyes before running over to Kawakami's classroom.
Placing his thoughts about her in the back of his mind, he continued to Maruki's office, where he saw another kid leaving just as he arrived. Ren recognized him as one of the guys from the volleyball team, Mashima… or was it Mushima?
Either way, he quickly moved out, leaving Maruki to notice Ren and smile warmly.
"Ren! It's been a while. Do you want to talk? I have some freshly bought snacks. Or, well, should I say gifted? One of the people I counsel gave me a bunch of snacks as thanks yesterday." Maruki began chuckling slightly as he thought of a joke. "Could it be that you are also here to gift me more snacks? I'll let you skip one class if you do."
Shaking his head, Ren smiled as the two of them walked into his office.
"Sadly, I just ran out… ate them all up on the way here." Ren continued, playing along and causing Maruki to chuckle.
Maruki moved to a coffee maker he had brought from his house, before quickly pouring one cup for himself and for Ren.
"It's strange for me to say it. But I am actually glad that you haven't felt the need to come visit me in some time. It means that you don't need my help." Maruki began, sitting down in his usual spot. "However, do remember that I am here if you ever need to talk. There is no such thing as too brave or mature for mental health."
Ren smiled as he heard Maruki's words.
"Honestly? I mainly came here because I wanted to catch up. It's been a while, and I remember you asking for my help with something. I tend to get pretty busy so I end up overlooking things like that, sorry."
Maruki shook his head with a smile.
"Are you sure you aren't here because you want another lesson about cognitive psience? I honestly enjoy our talks about it." He joked again, trying to lighten the mood.
"Ah, you caught me." Ren laughed.
Turning slightly more serious for a second, but still keeping that friendly and approachable smile, Maruki asked.
"Now, I know I like to joke around, but if there is anything you want to talk about, you can trust me. I know I have said it before, but I'll say it as many times as needed. Is there anything you feel like you have to get off your chest?"
Ren went silent for a few seconds, thinking about everything that had happened in the past few weeks, before shaking his head.
"Honestly? I just came here to hang out. A lot of stuff has happened, but I actually feel like I am in full control now. It's hard to explain, but it's almost like I got dumped with a bucket of ice-cold water, and suddenly I knew what to do."
Maruki nodded, taking a sip of the coffee before answering.
"That's great, Ren. I honestly did notice you looked a little different when you walked in. It sounds strange, but it goes along with one of the things I have been researching. Almost as if the you inside your heart is finally aligned with the real you. If I am being honest, that is something I envy."
It was surprising just how accurate that statement felt, but Ren couldn't help but joke as he heard him.
"Are you sure it's not the glasses? They got broken, so I have been just going around without them lately. Haven't really gotten the chance to go and buy new ones."
Maruki gave him a warm smile as he heard him.
"Maybe you're right… I'm glad you don't feel the need to hide your face anymore. I'm assuming you were using them to look more approachable because of your record. Or maybe as a mask to protect yourself. Right?" Maruki asked
Ren opened his eyes in surprise, unsure as to how to answer, which made Maruki shake his head.
"Don't worry about it, either way, I am glad to see you enjoying your time here. Any big news since we last talked?" Maruki asked, grabbing some more sugar to put in his coffee.
"Ah… well… I guess you could say I entered a relationship. It's actually been pretty nice."
Hearing him, Maruki couldn't help but chuckle.
"Just the one?" He asked, trying to hide his smile before shaking his head and letting out a few award coughs. "Sorry, that was unprofessional of me. One of the people I counsel told me about it. But due to the client's confidentiality, I can't tell you who. If anything, I already said too much."
Ren rubbed the back of his head, laughing along.
"Yeah… it's been a bit wild lately."
The two of them continued to catch up, with Ren somehow finding himself lying down on the couch with a snack in his mouth. Even Maruki was sitting more relaxed, and as the conversation drifted from topic to topic, Maruki eventually let out a sign.
"Ren… could you keep what I am about to say next a secret?" Maruki asked, and after Ren nodded, he sighed again.
"There's someone I have been trying to help, but I am honestly not sure how else I can help them. I wish there was a way to fully understand someone. I am trying to use my research to help people, but I feel like I could do more, you know?"
"Like what?" Ren asked, sitting up to listen to him better.
Maruki thought for a few moments before speaking up.
"Well, you know why most famous poems and books are so popular? Because the author is able to describe their emotions and feelings in a very in-depth way. When you see a play like Romeo and Juliet, you can feel the pain and their emotions thanks to both the writing and the acting." Maruki began looking slightly lost before continuing.
"But most people aren't like that. Emotions are a hard thing, especially when you are grieving or when you are in deep pain. It's hard to express what things like that are like or why you feel that way. Only someone with a lot of training or talent can open their hearts fully and understand themselves. It's our jobs as counselors to try to help and guide people into understanding their emotions, but that is limited by my own cognition."
As Ren heard him, he couldn't help but nod subconsciously.
"I get it…" He muttered, causing Maruki to open his eyes slightly in surprise.
"You do? I'm actually curious to hear your feedback since I have been working on this project by myself for a long time." Maruki asked, leaning in, too, with a curious expression.
"Well, you know I have been looking into cognitive psience and psychology too." Ren began. "It's a bit weird to use him, but for this example, let's use someone like Kamoshida. I think that if we were to look inside his heart, we would see that he looks at this school as if it were his castle, and he would see himself as the king. Or at least, that's what I think from the brief time I knew him."
"Oh?" Maruki asked, reaching for a notepad to begin taking notes.
"You could just call this speculation, but I believe the thing that drives every person is desires." Ren continued.
"Yes, the desire to live, the desire to be loved, the desire for money, the desire to grow…. I have actually researched that before. I'm honestly surprised you have gotten this deep into the research." Maruki added, adjusting his glasses slightly.
Smiling, Ren asked.
"Then what would happen if that desire got distorted? What if Kamoshida's wish to be respected for being an Olympic winner and to educate the next generation of athletes took a wrong turn."
"That's fascinating…" Maruki muttered. "So you're saying that the reason Kamoshida did the things he did was because his own cognition and perception of the world became corrupted?"
"In theory. Once again, I'm just a student. You would probably know more about cognition than I do." Ren shrugged.
Maruki chuckled as he heard him, placing down his notepad.
"I guess that should be true, shouldn't it?" Maruki asked. "Do you think your theory would also apply to other cases? Like, say, someone was grieving or going through a loss. Would their desire also be distorted?"
Ren nodded as he thought back to Futaba's case.
"Well, your desire to be loved or have a family might get distorted. I'm sure some people would probably either get really depressed and their distortion might become 'I don't deserve to be loved.' or they might blame themselves, thinking 'It's my fault they died.'"
"I see…" Maruki muttered with a newfound spark in his eyes. "This is actually connecting so many dots in the research I have been working on…."
Maruki moved to grab one of his notebooks from the office, reading some of the notes he had before turning to Ren.
"It's amazing how complicated the heart is, Ren. I know there is no theoretical way to look into someone's mind, but imagine just how much you could help someone if you could look into their hearts and see the distortions that plagued a person directly." Maruki spoke with a smile.
"It wouldn't matter if they can't put it into words. You would be able to help them and finally solve their heartache."
Ren debated what he should answer, but since he could not find an answer that felt right. He simply kept quiet. He considered revealing the Metaverse to him, but unlike with Yusuke, he hesitated. It was a strange feeling since he fully trusted Maruki, but that hesitation was enough to put him slightly on guard.
"Ah, sorry, I seem to have gotten carried away." Maruki said, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly as he sat back down in the chair.
"I have to thank you, Ren. You have given me a lot to think about. I know this is all speculation, but if I am able to complete my research, I will be able to help a lot of people. Don't worry. If I find anything interesting, I'll make sure to let you know, too. I know you are also looking into researching cognitive psience." Maruki added with his usual kind smile.
"Thanks, I appreciate that. Don't think I didn't notice you trying to sneak a counseling session when I just came here to hang out at the beginning." Ren joked, causing Maruki to laugh awkwardly.
"Was it that obvious?" Maruki asked.
Ren was ready to leave, but his mind then wandered to Kasumi.
"Hey, Maruki, I don't know how much you can tell me… but is Kasumi ok? Have you noticed anything different?"
Maruki looked slightly conflicted as he heard the question.
"I can't say anything due to client confidentially. I'm sorry, Ren." Maruki apologized, but Ren just shook his head.
"No, don't worry about it. I get it."
Maruki smiled as he heard him, and after debating internally for a few moments, he spoke up.
"Look after her, would you?" He began, stopping as he tried to come up with how to say what he wanted to without breaching her trust. "She told me she has spoken to you before… so… remember that everyone is flawed. And that when you are with friends, it's okay to show those flaws."
~Confidants~
Takuto Maruki (The Councillor) Rank 4
~A/N~
(Ya'll, once again, sorry for the sudden inconsistency after saying I was gonna post every other day and focus on the story again. I've been working 12-hour days since we just got a gigantic job, and since I do construction, it's physically demanding and tiring. So, usually, I end up getting home tired af. Don't even have the energy to go through the comments and properly like/reply like I used to, but I still try to read 'em when I get the chance.
Should be done with the project maybe in like two weeks, so I should be back to having more free time then. Still, I'll be working on this story on the side. The only reason I can do the tensura story every other day is that I stockpiled a shit-ton of chaps in preparation for the P@treon. I'm straight up like 1.5 weeks ahead of P@treon release rn.
Anyways, hopefully, the chap didn't seem too much like "exposition," But I noticed that in Maruki's confidant, they talk about the metaverse and cognition a bunch, so I wanted to give it my own try. See ya'll as soon as I can, and thanks for reading!)
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
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